Andrew Bensley | Public figure

Andrew Bensley

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• Public figure
• Comedian

25.01.2022 Taking out the recycling during iso.

24.01.2022 I won't watch someone's lovingly crafted short film if it's more than 30 seconds long but I just watched a seven and a half minute video titled "Wild bikie brawl at Canberra strip club caught on camera" and tbh I'll probably watch it again.

23.01.2022 There should be a service for when you drive to the pub but end up having too many beers where you dial a number and they have someone ride to the pub on a small portable bike and then they watch you do burnouts in the carpark

22.01.2022 My face is never straighter than when I'm typing "hahaha" in a message

21.01.2022 Sometimes I think my cramped sharehouse living situation is bad but then I think about how the 25 wasps in my bathroom all have to share the same tiny nest

21.01.2022 While showing me around the office today my new boss pointed out where the women's toilets are located. Pretty rough way to find out I'm apparently giving off a filthy pervert vibe.

20.01.2022 CANBERRA! Come hang out with me tomorrow night at Civic Pub for a night of hot hot goofs and then probably Moose after for some cold cold beers. Show starts at 8pm. Bring 10 friends. PRE BOOK TIX AT THE LINK!

20.01.2022 I have mercury poisoning

18.01.2022 Half your age plus seven is the number of ketchup packets McDonalds staff will give you if you ask for just one.

17.01.2022 My grandad likes to brag about how he learned to swim when his friends threw him in a dam. "I had to learn quick smart or I'd drown". That wasn't a swimming lesson Stan, that was attempted murder.

16.01.2022 Kills germs. Protects against premierships.

16.01.2022 The thing about Hairhouse Warehouse is that it's just a regular sized store, not a warehouse. Also, I'm not even sure they sell hairhouse there

16.01.2022 How many of these low carb beers do I need to drink before I get abs?

14.01.2022 Pride & Prejudice except instead of Mr Bingley it's Mr Bing Lee and he made his 5,000 pound fortune selling cheap flat screen TVs

13.01.2022 Homie if she's not into the hands in each other's back pockets move don't ride solo on it.

12.01.2022 I was in a short film written and directed by Kathryn Maelbox Thomas and put together by a bunch of awesome people. Give it a whirl.

11.01.2022 Someone brought a bottle of Kirks Pasito to the work morning tea today so I sat it on my desk and spent the arvo loudly singing "desk Pasito" to the tune of Despacito and folks I gotta tell ya, I don't have a job anymore

09.01.2022 The cashier when I'm paying with tap and go: "Just hover it above the screen here" Me:

09.01.2022 The closest I've come to being a hacker was in year 8 when I used the female voice option on that original text-to-speech program to call my girlfriend whose mum didn't let her talk to boys.

08.01.2022 Here's where you can see me yukking it up this week! Friday is Canberra Comedy Festival, grab tickets here if you haven't already: https://www.trybooking.com/book/event?eid=448238

06.01.2022 Very well received in Melbourne last week! Everyone was absolutely thrilled to see me!

06.01.2022 I dunno about this. Personally I love just kicking back with a few old school cans of rum and authority.

06.01.2022 It is with a heavy heart I must announce my first foray into quarantine video posting. Stay safe everyone.x

05.01.2022 I don't mind throwing my weight around in the pokies room. If you're gonna side eye me every time I get two out of three symbols for a feature you better believe I'm gonna let the whole song play when I hit a big win.

04.01.2022 I wrote my phone number in my notebook just in case I ever lost it. Never thought it'd pay off. Well, two nights ago I left it on the train coming home from a gig and guess what? Today I received a text saying "your jokes suck"

04.01.2022 Who remembers this classic prank?

04.01.2022 [Waking up in an empty bed] Wow bro, we fought the break of dawn together and come tomorrow you're just gone?

04.01.2022 Everyone in the office mad at me for microwaving fish, saying I "ruined the microwave" but like what am I supposed to do, eat this can of tuna cold?

04.01.2022 One fun thing about having the same name as a famed horse racing commentator is chatting with punters who message me on Twitter asking for a hot tip

02.01.2022 When I chuck heaps of extra hot habanero sauce on my burrito