Anita Hermans Child and Adolescent Psychology in Warragul, Victoria | Doctor

Anita Hermans Child and Adolescent Psychology

Locality: Warragul, Victoria

Phone: +61 3 5622 0822

Address: Warragul North Consulting Suites 3820 Warragul, VIC, Australia

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25.01.2022 I have long loved this quote and everything it stands for

23.01.2022 Via Instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/BrjQginBkYS/ Anxiety can hit children hard but their favourite people can help them feel braver and calmer. Here’s h...ow it works. . Think of the brain as having 3 sections. At the back is the primitive brain. It’s responsible for our basic functions - blood pressure, heartbeat, breathing - the things that keep us alive. Next, in the middle is the emotional brain. This is where the amygdala lives. (The amygdala is involved in anxiety and emotion). Finally, at the front is the ‘thinking brain’, the home of the pre-frontal cortex. This is the part of the brain that can receive rational information, plan, calm anxiety, problem-solve. The three parts need to work together as a team, but during anxiety the amygdala pulls rank and takes over. It shuts down the thinking brain and hijacks the primitive brain, organising heart rate and blood pressure to increase, and breathing to be shallow. It also organised our body to be surged with a neurochemical girl to get us stronger, faster and more powerful - more able to deal with a potential threat. This is brilliant when there is a threat, but when there isn’t, it feels awful and frightening - but that’s anxiety for you. . To bring back calm, we need to get the 3 parts connected and working together again. This has to happen from the back to the front. Think of it like building a bridge. There can’t be any shortcuts and we can’t change the order. . First, we have to prepare the ground (reset the physiology through breath). This will start to reverse the neurochemical surge that has caused the physical symptoms of anxiety. . Then we lay the foundations (open the way to brave behaviour with warmth, connection). Finally, we build the structure (encourage brave behaviour, plan). . Often when our kiddos are in the grip of anxiety we respond to the thinking brain first with rational info (‘there’s nothing to worry about’). This is completely understandable, but it without the heft of the other two parts, it just won’t work. An anxious brain is a beautifully powerful brain, so it’s important to work with it, rather than against it.

20.01.2022 Don't be fooled, dear daughters. Don't let the world tell you what love looks like. Don't fall into the trap that love is measured in the size of a ring or how ...much you spend on a vacation or the type of car they drive. Don't get caught up with someone who only talks about your beauty. Don't get sucked in to professions on social media or late night whispers or apologies after a fight. Don't fall for a person whose words and actions don't align. Watch how a potential partner treats their parents, waiters, the delivery guy. Watch if they lose their temper over little things. Listen to how they speak when someone makes a mistake. Remember how they talk about others when they aren't in the room--because you won't always be in the room. Grandiose gestures are great. Flowers on special occasions are sweet. Compliments can make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Temporarily. But this, dear daughters. This is what love looks like. Love is getting up an hour early before work so your family can get out of the driveway. Love is getting the brakes checked on the car before a big road trip. Love is offering the delivery man a bottle of water on a hot day and helping a neighbor move a couch and rescuing a baby bird from a basement well. Love is doing the dishes most nights to show that housework doesn't fall on only one person's shoulders in a relationship. Love is admitting you are wrong--and apologizing for it. Oftentimes, we mistake the words we want to hear for love, and that can be a grave mistake. We see what we want to see, make excuses for what makes us uncomfortable. But this, dear daughters, is what love looks like. Don't forget it.

18.01.2022 During adolescence, our teens are more likely to pay attention to the positives of a situation over the negatives. This can be a great thing. The courage that c...omes from this will help them try new things, explore their independence, and learn the things they need to learn to be happy, healthy adults. But it can also land them in bucketloads of trouble. Here’s the thing. Our teens don’t want to do the wrong thing and they don’t want to go behind our backs, but they also don’t want to be controlled by us, or have any sense that we might be stifling their way towards independence. The cold truth of it all is that if they want something badly enough, and if they feel as though we are intruding or that we are making arbitrary decisions just because we can, or that we don’t get how important something is to them, they have the will, the smarts and the means to do it with or without or approval. So what do we do? Of course we don’t want to say ‘yes’ to everything, so our job becomes one of influence over control. To keep them as safe as we can, rather than saying ‘no’ (which they might ignore anyway) we want to engage their prefrontal cortex (thinking brain) so they can be more considered in their decision making. Our teens are very capable of making good decisions, but because the rational, logical, thinking prefrontal cortex won’t be fully online until their 20s (closer to 30 in boys), we need to wake it up and bring it to the decision party whenever we can. Do this by first softening the landing: ‘I can see how important this is for you. You really want to be with your friends. I absolutely get that.’ Then, gently bring that thinking brain to the table: ‘It sounds as though there’s so much to love in this for you. I don’t want to get in your way but I need to know you’ve thought about the risks and planned for them. What are some things that could go wrong?’ Then, we really make the prefrontal cortex kick up a gear by engaging its problem solving capacities: ‘What’s the plan if that happens.’ Remember, during adolescence we switch from managers to consultants. Assume a leadership presence, but in a way that is warm, loving, and collaborative.

18.01.2022 The topic of addiction brings up mixed feelings for people, particularly given that some addictions start with socially sanctioned behaviours (eg smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, gambling) whilst others do not (eg using heroin, ice). Regardless of the type of addiction, we know addictions have a neurobiological basis and are essentially a disease of the brain - as mentioned by the psychiatrist in the first episode. We also know that underlying many addictions is trauma - also mentioned by the psychiatrist. This reiterates the need for us to keep trying to shift from a judgemental viewpoint (you shouldn’t do this) to a more curious viewpoint (what happened to make you do this) that can bring about understanding and compassion. Please leave a comment if you’ve seen the show - I’m keen to hear your thoughts on it.

14.01.2022 I'm sorry if you've experienced weight stigma (specifically fat phobia). It's not okay. I've experienced it too and it's absolutely demoralising and dehumanisin...g. It's easy to internalise that pain and make it your problem. Trying to change your body to get away from the stigma. Hoping to one day force your body to shrink enough to experience the unearned social privileges (safety, dignity and respect) that come with a body that is considered acceptable and 'healthy'. . . I know this may be hard to hear: there's no amount of self-hatred, disordered eating and over-exercise that can actually target the problem - our culture. However I do understand it can become a way to cope with stigma and I say this without judgement. Weight stigma comes from basic beliefs and assumptions about body size and weight in our culture that are often narrow, black and white and based on outdated, flawed science. It's time to turn the gaze from yourself to influences outside of you. You're too valuable and precious to be reinforcing in yourself the same beliefs society has placed upon you. . . #bodyimage #healthateverysize #haes #intuitiveeating #dietculture #fatphobia #weightstigma #edrecovery #mentalhealth #wsaw2020 #bodypositivity

14.01.2022 Child Therapist’s List of Top Worries by Age: (Sorry this looks fuzzy - but if you click on the image it should be clearer )

11.01.2022 Let’s stop calling children ‘resilient’ simply because they don’t cry or become visibly upset. Being seemingly unaffected by an emotionally upsetting event isn...’t resilience, it’s dissociation. Dissociation can be temporary emotional coping skill we use when it is not the right time or environment to process our emotions. This occurs when we are still in the crisis, or we aren’t around emotionally safe people. But eventually when the crisis subsides, it’s important that we give ourselves permission to feel. When dissociation remains, we learn to unconsciously repress our negative emotions. Resilience is the capacity to move through the crisis & the negative emotions that surface (...even when this process is delayed). Children aren’t resilient if they push down their emotions. Children develop resilience when they have permission to process their feelings around safe people. #ResilientLittleHearts

10.01.2022 Recently I've had a lot of questions about when to introduce sweets to babies/toddlers. It's a best practice to delay introduction as long as you can...meaning ...3 years for your first kid, 11 months with your second kid, and 4 months with your third kids Babies and toddlers don't need sweets. That said, if you're eating sweets, they will get exposed sooner or later. Once they do, don't add to the hype, just serve a small portion alongside meals when possible. And yes, my kids had birthday cake and I didn't think twice about it. If your kid doesn't know about candy, you can keep it that way. They don't know what they are missing and they don't need the sugar on their brand new baby teeth (that everyone LOST SO MUCH SLEEP over). But what about the grandmas???? And aunties and uncles. Babysitters and grandpas. Complete strangers. Lady at the bank. They all want to give your toddler candy. So think about how you will handle it when someone gives them candy or sweets or juice or chocolate. You may have to step in and take a food away or keep an adult from giving it to your 1 year old. You may need to set a boundary for grandma or bring your own snacks for your kid. #kidseatincolor See more

09.01.2022 In those moments with our kids, our brains sometimes lie to us. Our limbic system (the guard dog of our brain) takes over, and makes us think it’s urgent. Th...at we have to jump in to the situation as a matter of urgency, almost as if it’s a matter of life or death. It’s not true. 99% of the time, there’s time to breathe. There’s time to step away. There’s time to think. There’s time to lean up against a wall and remind yourself that they won’t always be in this age and stage. They won’t always need you like this. There’s time. Use it wisely. #emotioncoaching The link you need is in the comments

09.01.2022 October is mental health awareness month Let’s show our own mental health some love by making a conscious effort to do something each day that nurtures it. This can be as simple as remembering to take your medication, doing some exercise, practising a relaxation technique, connecting with a friend, choosing a more nutritious meal, going to sleep earlier, or doing something enjoyable.

04.01.2022 My parents of sensory kids will appreciate what an absolute triumph this is

03.01.2022 The better we come to understand our nervous systems the better we come to understand ourselves.

01.01.2022 Only yesterday I told a mother that getting her child to school by 10am, 12 noon or even 2pm was better than not getting her there at all. What also helps is when you have a smiling face at the office who says to the child ‘I’m glad you made it today’ even if they arrive at 2pm.