Anny Wilde Kinesiology | Health & wellness website
Anny Wilde Kinesiology
Phone: +61 431 312 877
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24.01.2022 Trauma is not your fault. (Period) (Take all the time you need for that to sink in) Over the past several years, the following phrase/meme has made its rounds.... Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility. There’s something about it that never sat well with me, and last night I jotted down a few of my thoughts. I’d love to know what you think. Folks who’ve experienced trauma are familiar with the dismissive but that often follows, trauma is not your fault, but... ...but I should have fought back. ...but I shouldn’t have gone to that party. ...but I should have seen the red flags. ...but what were you wearing? ...but healing is your responsibility. This last but appears well-intentioned while still carrying a similar weight of individual responsibility for a process that is rarely possible on one’s own. It has that familiar individualist ring to it that has folks grabbing for their bootstraps while standing alone in their suffering. Trauma is not your fault. Period. *long pause* I can’t begin to describe the importance of that full stop or the healing potential contained within the space that follows. As soon as we add a but... we knock some of the air out of this realization. It feels like a punch in the gut or that sinking feeling that accompanies ...but I should be over it by now. While the idea of personal responsibility comes with a bit of hope, it also comes with pressure. In my experience, this burden outweighs the hope for many trauma survivors. When pressure outweighs hope, it’s no longer empowering. Embodied hope has the potential to be a resource for a survivor’s nervous system. Pressure, on the other hand, comes with the risk of overwhelming one’s nervous system or keeping it stuck in freeze/collapse physiology. Trauma is already an isolated place, and making healing your responsibility remains limited to one person. Trauma already feels like a personal failing or weakness, and your responsibility adds one more shortcoming to your list, that of not yet healing. Something happens when we add a well-placed full stop at the end of, Trauma is not your fault [full stop] This pause creates some much-needed space. A space that is frequently punctuated with a sigh of relief. It’s a place without a dismissive but... or added pressure of any kind. This pause may be the first time a survivor feels heard and understood. It’s important to hang out here for a while. There’s a great deal of healing potential here if we’re willing to sit with survivors without giving in to our impulse to fix it, solve it, make it go away, or in this example, ascribe responsibility. To be clear, I believe in survivors’ capacity for healing, which is why I’m passionate about helping to create a supportive and empowering context. I’m not convinced that saying, ...,but you’re responsible for your healing creates a supportive context. We don’t heal alone. We’re social mammals who require the presence of another nervous system for critical developmental tasks, and our ability to co-regulate is vital for healing trauma. Humans need to feel safe, strong, and connected, and we’d be well-served to keep these in mind as we search for what to say next. So, what do we say to a trauma survivor after they’ve had the space and time to acknowledge trauma is not their fault? Here are a few possibilities: ...and healing is possible. ...and you have the capacity to heal within safe and supportive relationships. ...and I’m committed to being here with you as a resource for your nervous system. What would you add? Again, I assume the original idea is offered with the best intention. However, language is powerful and but is often dismissive and may do more to reinforce trauma physiology than to create a context for healing. I also recognize that each person’s experience is unique, and the original phrase may be helpful for some folks. If that’s the case for you, I validate your experience and celebrate what works for you! If, however, you’ve felt uneasy when you encountered the original phrase, I’d love to hear your reaction to my rambling thoughts above. -Brian #Trauma #ReligiousTrauma #RoomToThrive
22.01.2022 Fawning or otherwise termed as people pleasing, being talked about here as the 4th trauma response.
19.01.2022 I'll be offering Kinesiology sessions as part of the Cobargo Wellness Group. These sessions cost $40 for an hour session. I'll attach the booking link, ijm offering sessions every 2nd Saturday from the 19th of Dec. Lots of other great modalities and practitioners offering also. Check it out! https://www.cobargowellnessgroup.org.au/sessions/
17.01.2022 Trauma is not your fault. (Period) (Take all the time you need for that to sink in) Over the past several years, the following phrase/meme has made its rounds.... Trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility. There’s something about it that never sat well with me, and last night I jotted down a few of my thoughts. I’d love to know what you think. Folks who’ve experienced trauma are familiar with the dismissive but that often follows, trauma is not your fault, but... ...but I should have fought back. ...but I shouldn’t have gone to that party. ...but I should have seen the red flags. ...but what were you wearing? ...but healing is your responsibility. This last but appears well-intentioned while still carrying a similar weight of individual responsibility for a process that is rarely possible on one’s own. It has that familiar individualist ring to it that has folks grabbing for their bootstraps while standing alone in their suffering. Trauma is not your fault. Period. *long pause* I can’t begin to describe the importance of that full stop or the healing potential contained within the space that follows. As soon as we add a but... we knock some of the air out of this realization. It feels like a punch in the gut or that sinking feeling that accompanies ...but I should be over it by now. While the idea of personal responsibility comes with a bit of hope, it also comes with pressure. In my experience, this burden outweighs the hope for many trauma survivors. When pressure outweighs hope, it’s no longer empowering. Embodied hope has the potential to be a resource for a survivor’s nervous system. Pressure, on the other hand, comes with the risk of overwhelming one’s nervous system or keeping it stuck in freeze/collapse physiology. Trauma is already an isolated place, and making healing your responsibility remains limited to one person. Trauma already feels like a personal failing or weakness, and your responsibility adds one more shortcoming to your list, that of not yet healing. Something happens when we add a well-placed full stop at the end of, Trauma is not your fault [full stop] This pause creates some much-needed space. A space that is frequently punctuated with a sigh of relief. It’s a place without a dismissive but... or added pressure of any kind. This pause may be the first time a survivor feels heard and understood. It’s important to hang out here for a while. There’s a great deal of healing potential here if we’re willing to sit with survivors without giving in to our impulse to fix it, solve it, make it go away, or in this example, ascribe responsibility. To be clear, I believe in survivors’ capacity for healing, which is why I’m passionate about helping to create a supportive and empowering context. I’m not convinced that saying, ...,but you’re responsible for your healing creates a supportive context. We don’t heal alone. We’re social mammals who require the presence of another nervous system for critical developmental tasks, and our ability to co-regulate is vital for healing trauma. Humans need to feel safe, strong, and connected, and we’d be well-served to keep these in mind as we search for what to say next. So, what do we say to a trauma survivor after they’ve had the space and time to acknowledge trauma is not their fault? Here are a few possibilities: ...and healing is possible. ...and you have the capacity to heal within safe and supportive relationships. ...and I’m committed to being here with you as a resource for your nervous system. What would you add? Again, I assume the original idea is offered with the best intention. However, language is powerful and but is often dismissive and may do more to reinforce trauma physiology than to create a context for healing. I also recognize that each person’s experience is unique, and the original phrase may be helpful for some folks. If that’s the case for you, I validate your experience and celebrate what works for you! If, however, you’ve felt uneasy when you encountered the original phrase, I’d love to hear your reaction to my rambling thoughts above. -Brian #Trauma #ReligiousTrauma #RoomToThrive
16.01.2022 Oh yeah baby, Sagittarius New moon, this Saggi has never been so happy to hear of your return. Scorpio that was brutal
11.01.2022 Oh yeah baby, Sagittarius New moon, this Saggi has never been so happy to hear of your return. Scorpio that was brutal
11.01.2022 Lion Languor Today is 8th August - Lionsgate Portal Every morning, the Lion holds his head up and shakes his golden mane as if heralding the dawn of a new d...ay. He is powerfully confident, hardworking, inspirational and creative. If he has a cause that inspires him or offers him purpose, Lion has the ability to do anything and manifest whatever he puts his mind to. In fact, whatever he touches turns to gold. It’s like he has the ‘Midas Touch’. While he is a powerful and majestic creature when he is in his power, though, the shadow side of Lion asks that his mate do all the domestic work: the hunting, defending and raising the young. Sadly, such an expectation is a trait indicative of many men today. As if echoing the attitude of the modern male, Lion bravely invites us to ponder the wellbeing of our relationships and how we perceive ourselves and others. Today you are being reminded that you are both highly intelligent and capable of bringing all your visions to fruition. You are being promised warmth, protection and compelling opportunity to shine, as long as you avoid the inherent the laziness and the tendency to feel unmotivated that often plagues you. Lion promises great things, but needs constant confirmation and proof of his power and the important role he plays in the world. He offers abundance and power, realisation, clarity and inner strength, particularly after a time of confusion, darkness and dormancy; like the new dawn that comes after a long, dark night. Lion says, ‘Stop procrastinating and get on with it’. Languor is a limiting behaviour often rooted in fear. Motivation is a decision. Self-confidence is a birth-rite. Remember this, and you can (and will) achieve great things. Scott Alexander King’s World Animal Dreaming Oracle Deck Artist:Karen Branchflower #LionsGate #AnimalDreaming #Lion https://www.animaldreamingpublishing.com//world-animal-dr/
10.01.2022 Lion Languor Today is 8th August - Lionsgate Portal Every morning, the Lion holds his head up and shakes his golden mane as if heralding the dawn of a new d...ay. He is powerfully confident, hardworking, inspirational and creative. If he has a cause that inspires him or offers him purpose, Lion has the ability to do anything and manifest whatever he puts his mind to. In fact, whatever he touches turns to gold. It’s like he has the ‘Midas Touch’. While he is a powerful and majestic creature when he is in his power, though, the shadow side of Lion asks that his mate do all the domestic work: the hunting, defending and raising the young. Sadly, such an expectation is a trait indicative of many men today. As if echoing the attitude of the modern male, Lion bravely invites us to ponder the wellbeing of our relationships and how we perceive ourselves and others. Today you are being reminded that you are both highly intelligent and capable of bringing all your visions to fruition. You are being promised warmth, protection and compelling opportunity to shine, as long as you avoid the inherent the laziness and the tendency to feel unmotivated that often plagues you. Lion promises great things, but needs constant confirmation and proof of his power and the important role he plays in the world. He offers abundance and power, realisation, clarity and inner strength, particularly after a time of confusion, darkness and dormancy; like the new dawn that comes after a long, dark night. Lion says, ‘Stop procrastinating and get on with it’. Languor is a limiting behaviour often rooted in fear. Motivation is a decision. Self-confidence is a birth-rite. Remember this, and you can (and will) achieve great things. Scott Alexander King’s World Animal Dreaming Oracle Deck Artist:Karen Branchflower #LionsGate #AnimalDreaming #Lion https://www.animaldreamingpublishing.com//world-animal-dr/
