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A Safe Place for Tears

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• Alternative & holistic health service

25.01.2022 For the ones galvanized by wild twins.

24.01.2022 Grief and Rage. <3

23.01.2022 You Australian girls dont know how to accept a compliment! Instead of arguing say Thank you and if you cant say thanks, say nothing. Advice as a teenager on the brink of womanhood I took to heart. I stopped denying compliments to those who offered them and thus created a belief I was good at accepting compliments. Decades later I would come to understand that all I had done was learn to appear to accept compliments. I did not learn how to find a place for them to lan...d, rather to make the barrier I held them out with silent. Martin Prechtel speaks of grief and praise being two sides of the same coin. Over recent years I have delved into grief and the ways it is shunned in modernity without recognising that praise is both glorified and maligned by modernity, allowing only false, or empty praise place to thrive. That real praise has been exiled with its twin; grief. It is time for us to learn to create a place within us for praise to land. It is time for us to learn to praise. For one cannot exist without the other, and we cannot thrive without both.

23.01.2022 Our gatherings provide a safe place for strong to break silence.

23.01.2022 This kind of work takes a combination of "the resume of the Soul" and some strong guidance in all manner of topics that touch the ability to walk the edges. Here is an opportunity for intrepid travelers with a lean toward ritual.

23.01.2022 Certain things happen to each person. Those things interrupt the daily flow of time and life in order to open us to something greater. Unfortunately they are f...elt initially as painful loses, as illnesses, as experiences of danger or rejection that put us in a separate place. We have to be separated from everyone else in order to learn who we actually are. The process of that is initiation. - Michael Meade See more

21.01.2022 The initiation of a story carrier.

19.01.2022 Story gatherings are about seeing each other and having an opportunity to connect on a deeper level.

18.01.2022 If the art of praise be forgotten, how then do we grieve?

17.01.2022 Feeling the call to greater gestures of bravery again as my feet once again carry me forward even as I ask again if its too late to turn back.

14.01.2022 The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them. How much sorrow can I hold? Thats how... much gratitude I can give. If I carry only grief, Ill bend toward cynicism and despair. If I have only gratitude, Ill become saccharine and wont develop much compassion for other peoples suffering. Grief keeps the heart fluid and soft, which helps make compassion possible. ~ Francis Weller [Image: Lucy Campbell]

13.01.2022 "If we meet a myth with our lives and deepest concerns, the mythic oracles speak directly to us. Myths are oracular in the sense that each person can receive a ...message or an insight that relates to their life circumstances. The point has never been to believe in myths or to simply accept what others have said they mean. The key issue with mythic images is to let them speak to us, wherever and whenever we find ourselves seeking guidance, permission, or understanding." - Michael Meade, "The Genius Myth"

13.01.2022 Masculinity is not toxic and dangerous, but masculinity emboldened by patriarchy is both these things. A Safe Place for Tears welcomes all genders. The willingness and ability to gather and share in this way is an act of defiance against the powerbroking that builds these walls and pits people against each other.

13.01.2022 Grief and rage.

13.01.2022 It would indeed be a mistake

12.01.2022 I spent over two decades of my life deeply enmeshed in a relationship where fear, rage and despair were regular companions. I lived the confusion of loving and hating, being loved and hated by the one who was both my safe place and the enemy I most feared. I witnessed his deep shame and burned in mine. I developed my own weapons and our battles raged. For him my tears were knives that cut deep into his shame. Shame that hid in every insult, every threat, every act of violence.... Shame filled regret that followed every battle before the defenders of denial closed ranks. Tears are something modernity denies men from early boyhood. So tears build up and escape as rage. Tears witnessed become knives. When I finally fought my way out of the spells that bound me, I emerged with a deep compassion for both victims and perpetrators. Determined to unravel the bindings of victim I sought out where my responsibilities lay, to see where my actions had fuelled our furies, as well where I took responsibility for that which was not mine. I read books of experts opinions of why men hurt those they love and none of it quite fit my experiences. I was given a gift of witnessing how stories collide and hungry ghosts battle. I saw the role wounds play in relationships. A complex web of wounding, a lack of community and initiation, a sick society filled with privilege that hurts the ones holding the privilege in unseen ways and others in ways sometimes blatant, sometimes subtle. Whilst I agree with the author of this on many points, including the need for community and that deep ache for belonging, I think as so much of our modern thinking, the grief of all touched by this must also be acknowledged and given a safe place. We need a world where Real men do cry and are held safe in their tears. We need a world where tears are allowed their proper place as a healing force.

11.01.2022 In all my years of work with families and communities, I can honestly say trauma is the most unrecognised health challenge we face. We have been told things li...ke get over it and it wasnt as bad as... But we need to respond to trauma with compassion and love, we need to know that someone is witnessing our journey and that even if they cant understand the pain of trauma they have some mindfulness that our story is real and validated.

11.01.2022 My books are available worldwide at https://linktr.ee/melodyleepoetry, Book Depository, Barnes & Noble, BAM, Bookatopia, and other online booksellers. Signed copies at https://etsy.me/2tg1wDR *USA only

09.01.2022 Learning to transition has been something I quite possibly would not have survived without over the past year. A ritual is a good place to make big transitions. This will be a welcoming call to aid the transition from the chaos of a Nature year to the structure and remembering of a Mineral year. Join us if you feel called! <3

08.01.2022 Why we carry stories.

07.01.2022 Grief and praise.

07.01.2022 Come as you are.

05.01.2022 Every turtles have a soft underbelly.

03.01.2022 For the past few days the question of how to explain ritual has been weaving its way around and through me. Some things cant be explained well with words, ritual is one of them. It is experiential. It speaks the language of emotion. The wisdom of embodiment. Our bones know about ritual, but our modern minds have been trained to forget. Ritual is different each time. And is experienced differently by each person in attendance. There is a way it is deeply personal whilst sim...ultaneously holding the potential for profound connection. This connection can be a deeper connection with our human community, Nature, the Ancestors and helpers from the spirit world. It can be a deepening of connection, a reconnection with self. It can be all of the above. Each ritual has its own theme, its own flavour, its own aliveness, its own energy. Yet in the lead-up to every ritual I still experience the pull of being drawn to ritual, and the push of wanting to run from it. It may look a little different each time, but the push-pull, or pull-push as it may be, is always there. I traveled half way around the world to attend my first ritual. As soon as I saw it announced I knew I had to be there and I had no idea how that would be possible. Yet once the possibility became a reality I cannot remember how many times I nearly backed out of going. This nervousness presented as all kinds of real life barriers as well as questions about whether this was really for me, whether I was ready for this, my safety, what people would think, the list went on. In my bones I knew that something would be different if I went. That I would be different if I went. I went. I came home changed. Each time I step into ritual space I change a little more. I become a little stronger. I become a little clearer. I become a little more me. And each time, I still feel nervous in the lead up. If youre feeling the push-pull, or pull-push about attending, know you are not alone. Reach out if it you need to.

03.01.2022 Our next story is in less than three weeks. This may be a good place to bring old traumas needing to be witnessed in a safe place. The Eldership of the story can help us find our way in these turbulent times. https://www.asafeplacefortears.com/blog/speak-up

03.01.2022 Having been intimate with both the suffering and subsequent hardening brought about by guilt and shame I can see a place for both ritual and Attunement Therapy in creating a safety for healing to begin.

02.01.2022 Latest blog. Short and sweet; Caught in a tangle of seeming opposites is the possibility of being lovable, yet hard to love. For while others see us with love, when our ghosts of self loathing hold court they bar our hearts and it becomes near impossible for us to feel love. At this point we become hard to love, making those who love us work hard to show or prove their love.

01.01.2022 What are we doing when we post and share these exquisite, flowing descriptions of the sacred masculine and the sacred feminine? Is this the spiritual equivalent of billboards and fashion magazines holding up airbrushed, starving models as the ideal and telling us that unless we look like this we are not enough? What of the grit? The messiness? The failing and fighting hungry ghosts and trauma we all have? This is the stuff of humanness. The thing we are here for does not reside in being a goddess or saint.

01.01.2022 "A true vocation requires shedding anything that would impede or obscure the call. A true pilgrimage requires letting go of the very things most people try to h...old onto. In seeking after what the soul desires we become pilgrims with no home but the path the soul would have us follow. As the old proverb says, Before you begin the journey, you own the journey. Once you have begun, the journey owns you. After all, what good is a dream that doesnt test the mettle of the dreamer? What good is a path that doesnt carry us to the edge of our capacity and then beyond that place? A true calling involves a great exposure before it can become a genuine refuge." - Michael Meade, "Fate and Destiny"