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Being Well Psychology

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25.01.2022 A little softening goes a long way to bring peace to any situation. (image via The Hands Free Revolution)

24.01.2022 The worlds newest fitness routine, I present to you, Dance Walking! Ben Aaron.

23.01.2022 They make time to connect, no matter how busy life gets.

22.01.2022 Why we fall in love the paradoxical psychology of why frustration is necessary for satisfaction in romance

22.01.2022 "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they dont have any. " I could not agree more with Alice Walker.

22.01.2022 Empathy is a beautiful gift that connects us with each other, but it can feel heart-wrenching and even unbearable at times.

22.01.2022 When we feel bad about ourselves, we unconsciously act in ways that end up confirming our beliefs. Here are four ways to break out of the negative cycle.

20.01.2022 Embrace the dark side.

20.01.2022 On being direct In a recent interview for my book, The Lies We Tell Ourselves, the interviewer commented on the clinical excerpts in the book. Arent you a bit... direct? he asked. In response, I asked, Have you ever noticed when you get up in the morning and look in the mirror? We never say to the mirror, wow, you are really direct! The mirror just reflects what is in front of it: a balding, middle aged guy with some grey hairs in his beard. The mirror never says, hmm, this might be a bit rough for Jon today. Lets Photoshop some of those grey hairs out. Likewise, when we see a photo of ourselves, we never say that the camera was too direct. We say, Oops. I should have combed my hair. In other words, we dont blame the mirror for the reality it reflects. Several years ago, my doctor said, Youve got cancer. Was he too direct? Was it his fault I had cancer? Should he have waited until I was ready? Was he direct or is life direct? Cancer didnt leave a bunch of subtle hints around so I could gradually catch on that it was coming. Life bumps into us directly every day, constantly shattering our fantasies. The mirror just reflects the directness of life: ourselves. To reflect what is: thats what a mirror does so we can see ourselves. Thats a lot of what we do as therapists too. Whereas the mirror is an inanimate object, reflecting everything that appears in front of it, we are humans. As mirrors, we often fear to mirror back whatever is in front of us. We fear how others will respond if we are honest. As the ancient Roman theologian Tertullian once said, Our first response to the truth is hatred. If we are honest, we can count on some people getting angry that the truth showed up instead of their preferred fantasy. Why can we count on that? Because, when people are honest with us, we often get at least a bit peeved when the truth showed up rather than the fantasy we wanted the other person to say. As human mirrors, whatever we reflect in another person is something human within ourselves. When we mirror someone else, we are reflecting whatever we can embrace within ourselves. Whatever we cant embrace within ourselves we cannot embrace in others. We might reflect it in others, but we will reflect while adding our judgment or rejection. And other people will rightly reject that mirroring because it is really condemnation. When we are afraid to mirror back the truth to the patient, we need to ask ourselves two questions: 1) what am I afraid of in this person; and 2) what am I afraid of in myself that I fear to embrace in this person? If you are able to embrace in yourself what you mirror back to the other, the other person will experience this inner communion. When we cannot embrace what we mirror, the patient will experience that subtle, inner rejection and will react to it. Am I direct? On my good days, yes. But this is not merely being direct to the patient. It is a direct heart to heart communication based on the ability to directly embrace in myself what I am embracing in the patient. Direct communication is based on a direct inner embrace of what we formerly feared to face in ourselves. Directness comes not from our words but from the direct connection from our depths to their depths. Depth calleth unto depth. As a patient told me yesterday, Thank you for caring enough about me to tell me the truth.

19.01.2022 A little bit on two greatest motivators - pain and pleasure.

19.01.2022 "Whether you do it mindfully or mindlessly, its worth spending a little time each day imagining the world beyond the present moment."

18.01.2022 What Makes a Good Life: Harvards 75-Year Study of Human Happiness. "The clearest message that we get from this study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier."

18.01.2022 Good tips for emotional self-care.

18.01.2022 The prefrontal cortex is a part of the brain located at the front of the frontal lobe and is implicated in a variety of complex behaviors, including planning, and greatly contributes to personality development.

18.01.2022 We feel better about ourselves when we figure out our real needs, live more authentically and celebrate our quirks

15.01.2022 Today is World Health Day. The World Health Organizations theme this year is "Depression: Lets Talk." The WHO estimates that more than 300 million people worl...dwide are living with depression. Lets talk about mental health and break down the stigma associated with it so people can get the treatment they need. See more

15.01.2022 "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any. " I could not agree more with Alice Walker.

14.01.2022 As Aristotle once asked: "Why does music, being just sounds, remind us of the states of our soul?" Author Leonid Perlovsky sets out to answer this question.

10.01.2022 A snapshot of Valeria's music psychology study. This study explored how different reasons for music use might impact psychological health and relationships.

10.01.2022 A new study suggests that mindfulness training may be more effective at reducing back pain than opioid painkillers and physical therapy.

09.01.2022 How Slow Breathing Induces Tranquility Stanford scientists have identified a small group of neurons that communicates goings-on in the brains respiratory control center to the structure responsible for generating arousal throughout the brain.

07.01.2022 A snapshot of Valerias music psychology study. This study explored how different reasons for music use might impact psychological health and relationships.

05.01.2022 Being positive is good, but what about when we do it at the expense of seeing the reality?

05.01.2022 https://cdn.ampproject.org///the-glossary-of-happiness/amp

04.01.2022 Our brain - a very brief and very informative intro.

04.01.2022 The world's newest fitness routine, I present to you, Dance Walking! Ben Aaron.

04.01.2022 The quality of our sleep is critical to the way we feel both physically and emotionally. Here is something to think about. http://www.abc.net.au//how-technology-use-messes-w/7950336

02.01.2022 Today is World Health Day. The World Health Organization's theme this year is "Depression: Let's Talk." The WHO estimates that more than 300 million people worl...dwide are living with depression. Let's talk about mental health and break down the stigma associated with it so people can get the treatment they need. See more

02.01.2022 For the next 3 months Being Well Psychology is offering bulk billed psychology sessions to people who one way or another suffered from the Bourke street horror. Call or message me for more details.

01.01.2022 A little bit on importance of sleep http://www.nytimes.com//sleep-poorly-you-may-eat-too-much-