Emy Turner | Personal coach

Emy Turner

Phone: +61 409 366 661

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20.01.2022 Today I’m grateful for small mercies. You? Also: here are the journaling prompts I used this morning. 4 pages later and I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. ... Give them a go if you’re ready to deep dive into the depths of your unconscious mind and clear out some stuff that’s perhaps been sitting stagnant for a while.

13.01.2022 ‘We make it so easy to be upset in life - someone cutting you off, someone pushing in in front of you, your partner speaking to you in the wrong tone of voice, ...a waitress getting our order wrong, a friend saying the wrong thing, being stuck in traffic, your children not listening, someone taking your car spot, and on and on and on. All interactions that last mere moments, but that you carry with you for hours/days/months/a lifetime. And we make it so difficult and complicated to be happy - the weather has to be just so, our partner has to say the right thing in the right tone, our children have to be perfect, our house has to be spotless, traffic has to be moving at the right speed, the wind has to be blowing in the right direction and the sun has to be at the right spot in the sky, the birds can’t be too loud so that they wake you up before your alarm goes off, it can’t be too hot or too cold. Imagine if you just flipped that. Imagine if you decided to make it really easy to be content, and difficult to be upset’ See more

13.01.2022 One important thing to know about your unconscious mind: it believes everything you tell it, and then looks for evidence to support that belief. PICTURE THIS: Close your eyes and picture yourself sinking your teeth into a wedge of unripe lemon If your mouth is watering and you screwed your face up, it’s because your unconscious mind believed the image you conjured up and started firing up your saliva glands. If you’ve ever watched a scary movie and covered your eyes or f...elt your heart beat faster, it’s because your unconscious mind is believing the image you’re sending it. PRACTICE THIS: Just for today, catch yourself describing yourself in your head. What images are you sending your unconscious mind about yourself, and then asking it to look for supporting evidence? Where the hell are my keys! I’m so bloody disorganised, I can never find things when I need them, Great, I’m going to be late again. I’m always running late!, Why am I so rubbish with money? There’s still 5 days left to payday and I’ve got nothing left in my account..again., I’ve tried to lose weight my whole life but I’ve always been the fat one in the family., I always start things and I never finish them. I’ve just got no commitment. DO THIS: Observe those thoughts, and all the judgement that comes along with them. Note how it feels inside your body when you tell yourself those things. If you observe a reaction inside your body, make a mental note of it just like you felt your mouth watering when you told yourself that you’ve bitten into a lemon, what does it feel like when you judge yourself for not having dinner ready on time? Or when you judge yourself for not going for that walk you promised you’d go on? Or for having that extra wine you promised you wouldn’t have. Does it feel light and joyful when you think those things? Does it feel heavy? Where does that feeling sit? In your heart, in your throat, in your chest, in your cheeks? Just observe it and sit with it without trying to change it. THOUGHT: "I knew I wasn't really going to go for a walk. I always say I will but I knew deep down I wouldn't. I've got no self integrity. No wonder I can't stick to anything and no wonder I can't lose the weight". OBSERVATION: "Oh wow, listen to what I'm telling myself about my choice to not go for a walk! It actually feels like I'm shaming myself, and it feels like there's a weight inside my throat and my chest. Isn't that interesting ?" Tomorrow’s post will give you some practical things you can try, to start crafting a new identity for yourself.

10.01.2022 How did you go observing our thoughts and feelings the last couple of days?What came up for you? Were you able to accurately describe what the thoughts were bringing up for you? Or were you struggling to put your finger on what exactly that unsettled feeling was? Think of all the 'feeling' words you know:... Angry Sad Mad Frustrated Happy Joyous Scared Upset Hurt Confused Excited Most of us have a very limited vocabulary when it comes to accurately describing how we feel. It was only very recently that I realised that, when my children don't listen to me and I was getting angry, the feeling beneath that anger was that I was feeling unheard. But, if anyone asked me in the moment, "How do you feel right now, when you're asking your children to do something and they're not listening..?", my answer would've been, "I'm so angry!" Once I discovered this I got to have a different conversation with myself. "WHAT AM I FEELING RIGHT NOW: I'm feeling unheard HOW DO I WANT TO FEEL INSTEAD: I want to be heard WHAT AM I TELLING MYSELF: I'm asking them to turn the TV off and they're ignoring me WHAT ELSE COULD ACTUALLY BE HAPPENING: They're immersed in what they're watching, and they're having trouble switching gears. WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS OTHER THAN CHOOSING TO GET ANGRY: Assess if it's important enough to actually go and pause the show while I tell them what I need them to know, or I can wait until the show is over." Our words shape our reality. Becoming better at identifying the feelings beneath our feelings allows us to feel more empowered and to have more honest conversations with ourselves, and with the people in our lives.

10.01.2022 Why, when we ask for help to better ourselves, are we so often told to "do it for your children", or "do it to prove *them wrong", "do it to show *them what you're capable of", "do it to be a good role model". (*Them = random people in your life) Why is it so often about others? Don't you count? Are we so much better at loving others, and finding our worth in the opinions of others, that those who want us to succeed know that they'll get the best out of us if we make it about... someone else, or someone else's opinion, and not about ourselves? For years, I tried to find my 'why' for working on my health and fitness. For years it was an uphill battle then a downhill slide. I'd swing between, "I'll show them! I can be disciplined and motivated and I'll prove it! This time will be different!" to "Screw them, I don't owe them anything. Their opinion doesn't count", to, "How will I teach my children that their health and fitness is important when I don't set that example myself", to "I'm teaching my children to love and accept themselves the way they are, instead." Always.about.others. This time, when my weight got to the point where I was no longer able to comfortably do the activities I used to be able to do effortlessly, I knew it was time to try something different. First I worked with a fellow coach who helped me discover that my battle with my weight had never been *my* battle to begin with. What 10 year old consciously and mindfully decides that their body is unacceptable?? NONE. Those battles are imposed on them by the media, handed to them by society. I don’t ever remember eating food in my adult life, without a voice in my head asking me to question first if that particular food was going to make me fat, and then telling me to work out how much exercise it would take to work it off later. The coaching also helped me to see that a massive lack of self love and self worth had crept in when everything is driven by outside factors for so many years, it’s very easy to make your life about everyone else’s needs, until you finally begin to believe that your needs no longer count. You are no longer worthy of having needs. And, because I was an outwardly confident person, that was probably the biggest secret I was keeping from myself: that confidence doesn’t automatically = feeling worthy. Next, I accepted responsibility for who I was being now, and what decisions I was making now, in adulthood. Once I worked out all the reasons why I wasn’t looking after myself it became easy to then want to change FOR ME. It wasn't just *easy* to start honouring my own needs, it became my duty to. Now, I get to want what I want. This time it's about me, too, and it's on me. No more blaming others or judging myself for not doing better in the past. 100% responsible, 100% possible.