Men’s group in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia | Community organisation

Men’s group

Locality: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

Address: Men’s Shed- Corner of Ellen rd and croydondale drive Mooroolbark 3138 Melbourne, VIC, Australia

Website: http://Buildabrotherhood.com/

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• Community organisation
• Social club
• Mental health service

20.01.2022 Given that Ive already been hard at work managing my mental health, 2020 has been a tipping point. And without the usual stuff that keeps me well such as time with mates, in nature, hitting the gym and working Ive been left to seek a new form of support: anti-depressant medication. The decision didnt come lightly. I realised I had to have an honest conversation with myself and accept that things arent going well. Sure Im functional, but whats life when youre just ...keeping afloat? No one should be struggling, barely above the surface, going from breath to breath. So I spoke to my psychiatrist. I raised my concern about side effects and things Ive read online, but he was quick to remind me that the only thing that matters is my experience. And if I look hard enough online, Ill find every type of story: good ones, bad ones, and those in between. My Dr also assured me that I can make the decision to come off if I dont feel better. This made the decision to start much easier. Im only two weeks in at the time of writing this, so Im waiting for them to kick in, but my mood is up. This is because my willingness to try something new reflects a newfound belief in myself and that fact I deserve to feel better. As I wrote in a longer blog piece(boyunderthebridge.com), sadly,theres a stigma around medication. Depression is complicated - sometimes its biology and sometimes it is ones environment but most likely its a bit of both. Just because you dont have a chemical imbalance doesnt mean you cant use a chemical solution. Also, even though one might come to anti-depressants as a last solution, medication isnt a sign of giving up, its giving yourself a better chance. During a time like this where life has been t-boned by COVID, anything that helps is well warranted. I cant say where things will go from here, but Im hoping its up. Not too high - just to keep me above the water and putting some strokes in, allowing me to get a grasp onto the other supports that keep me well as they become available. Thanks for reading. I hope this inspires you to also reach out for the support you need. Feel free to follow me along @boydunderthebridge

20.01.2022 I still have my days where I am triggered. I disassociate and time passes by like I am stuck. Thats how I feel when Im triggered, just stuck. I go quiet. Like I am standing on the side of the road with cars passing by and no one having any idea Im even there. Reliving the past but not knowing exactly what. Screaming inside yet on the outside frozen. My body aches. I feel dizzy. My breath shortens. I can hear my heart thumping. All while on the outside I seem absolutely fin...e. I remember the day the psychiatrist diagnosed me with chronic ptsd. I felt so defeated. Like my trauma had won. Going to get help is had then to get labelled often feels like a slap to the face but I wish I knew what I did now that day. Before I was told I had PTSD I didnt know why this kept happening. The unknown is scary. With time, as I accepted what the psychiatrist had told me, I began to get hold on things and the triggers became less. Being told there is something going on, allowed a more clear path to get help and develop the knowledge I needed to work through my flash backs and when I was triggered. I then knew what I needed to work on. You go through the grief stages when youre given a label. Whether its for mental health or illness. Its all about learning to ride the waves to come out the other end. Some days the water is still, others you get taken out by a rip but you learn each time how to make it through and as time goes on things become a little easier. If I get say anything, getting help is worth it. You can do this by going to your gp and getting a referral to see a psychiatrist. They will ask you about your life and then go over what they think is going on and theyre the ones who can work with you with medications. You can also go to your gp to get a mental health care plan and get 10 or 20 depending where you are, sessions for free or cheaper to see a psychologist. Psychologists all specialise in certain areas. It often is a good idea to call them and chat for 10 minutes about what they do. Then you will go to them and chat about things that would would like to talk about. These things can be life changing. Dont wait until youre at rock bottom to get help.

18.01.2022 Telehealth Australia: (Psychologists, Gp, Specialists) Bulk billed appointments for anyone who resides in areas currently in stage 3 or 4 restrictions. Currently all residents in Victoria. They are open 24/7.... They offer: *GP *Psychologists *Specialists Appointments made by emailing telehealthservices.com.au

17.01.2022 Build A Brotherhood- ending men suffering in silence. Our new Brotherhood tracksuit is available online now for pre order. Our merchandise is to raise awareness for mens mental health and our support groups.... Thank you all for your support. www.buildabrotherhood.com

17.01.2022 Please contact Stephen if you’re interested

17.01.2022 My names ben, Growing up was a struggle, I remember going to 7 different primary schools between prep and grade 1, my parents were on the run from the police for various crimes, they were also herion addicts,and there was a history of domestic violence, it all eventually caught up with them, my mum was sent to jail and my dad was in police custody I was maybe 5 at time my younger brother was 2 we spent 2 weeks in foster care, eventually my dad was released we moved in with ...Continue reading

17.01.2022 The beautiful Jo wearing our Jamii Cropped Tee, helping us raise awareness for mens mental health and our support groups. We do made to order so order take 4-6 weeks to order in, make for you and send out. All our merchandise is available to pre order on our website now.... www.buildabrotherhood.com See more

17.01.2022 Payments are closed online while we get this round of merchandise made and sent out, as they’re made to order. Our next round of pre orders will open soon. Thank you all for your support and helping us raise awareness for our support groups and men’s mental health. Our next face to face group is this Thursday but as numbers are still restricted it is only for 8 of our Brotherhood members as the 10 includes Leah and I. As soon as restrictions are eased all men are welcome to... join our free groups. We will still be running a zoom call a month to be able to support men in other areas, states and countries. These will be run on the Thursday’s of the second week of the month. We post the details of our groups on our Instagram stories each week @_buildabrotherhood or on our Facebook wall. Hope you all have a great weekend.

16.01.2022 With today’s news with outside gatherings being eased to 50, we are excited to announce that ALL MEN are welcome to come to our next meet. We run them every first and third Thursday of the month and our next one will be at Hookey park in Mooroolbark at 6.30pm on Thursday the 3rd of December. We will be having our Christmas get together so a more casual meet. Please bring snacks, soft drinks or some meat to cook on the bbq. Partners and kids are welcome to attend.... We look forward to meeting you, being able to support you and welcoming you to the Brotherhood family.

16.01.2022 Who else can relate? Credit: Merkules

14.01.2022 I was born different, and by different I was born with short Achilles tendons, an enlarged heart and and albino patch of skin which would end up covering 1/3 of my body, I also was born the wrong gender according to my parents, my mother to this day doesnt let me live it down. My parents were drug addicts and sold weed, they divorced when I was 8 after the last time they were physically abusive to each other, that was the last time I saw my father until I was 12 for a 2 wee...Continue reading

14.01.2022 Its the heaviness when you wake up even when youve slept for 14 hours. The flatness of your mood and irratibility with everything. The ache in your bones. The irrational thoughts that seem so rational at the time. Its the simple tasks that become overwhelming. The sharpness in the back of your throat when the realisation hits that youre going down hill again. We do everything we can to escape this feeling. We run in anyway we can. Anything other that letting ourselves e...xcept we are back in that place again. Sadness that shakes our core. Anxiety that bleeds into every thought throughout the day. Uncertainty and fear spreads like wildfire. Letting us believe we wont be okay again and in return leaving us wanting to escape live as we know it. We forget on our bad days that time heals most things. When we go two steps forward and five steps backwards, we forget we are further than when we first started. Just because the lion in us is quiet today doesnt mean us wont make a fierce come back in days or weeks to come. The lions roar is always in us even on our quieter days, just sometimes its harder to hear or needs some time to readjust or rest. Give yourself time. Youve overcome 100% of the hardest days of your life so far and today is just another 24 hours. You can and you will do this.

14.01.2022 Childhood trauma can effect us as adults in lots of ways. It is okay to get professional help to work out how to move forward. You can go to your Gp and get a Mental Health Care plan and a referral to see a Psychologist. This will give you 10 free/cheap sessions. During Covid you can get an extra 10 sessions (Victoria).

13.01.2022 This coming Wednesday is our next Brotherhood zoom. All men are welcome as long as they are 18 and over. You can also join with your audio and video off to just listen to others too. Please be respectful of our guidelines though. ... These are run by myself and Leah who is a qualified family therapist and drug/alcohol counsellor who has had 30 year experience in the welfare field. We are here to support you with what it is your are going through. Click the event for reminders Wednesday night. Hope to see you there.

12.01.2022 If you are male and would like to share your story please email [email protected] We can send you questions to answer and help put it together for you too. All you need to do is email asking for our questions.

10.01.2022 I am a 49-year-old male and suffer mental health issues. * I suffer the loss and death of my brother * I suffer the loss and death of friends who I served with in the South African Police * I suffer PTSD... * I suffer a recent marriage separation * And I Suffer Guilt. At a high level, this is my story, At 19 years old, I lost my brother who died at 21 in his sleep, for no apparent reason. At 21 years of age, I joined the South African Police, initially to give back to the community. I then wanted to become as exposed to high-risk situations as I could in hope that a bullet to the head would end my life. I have stuck a pistol in my mouth and I have considered different ways of ending my life. As much as these thoughts of self-harm have often crossed my mind, I could not go through with this as I fear the trail destruction that I would leave for my wife (recently separated) and my children. My wife had tried to help me by getting counselling over the years I just didnt want to accept that I have mental health issues. At times I have gone hard on the alcohol In February of this year, I totally broke down, I checked my self into a hospital for mental assessment Since February I have continued mental health counselling and accept this as part of my lifes management plan. I take Depression Meds Daily I now do meditation daily I exercise daily My name is Craig and I live with Depression. I work in the aviation industry in a management role and will likely lose my job in the near future. . I have days of extreme satisfaction and extreme depression, but I am starting to understand my trigger points and how to overcome the extremities. I look to find a happier brighter future and am committed to this goal. -Craig Alan

09.01.2022 Me, this guy, the one that lied and hurt people... it’s not me it’s the booze and drugs! There have been some terrible decisions I made whilst under the influence of my addictions that I am ashamed of.. I believed that I had become a shit person and that dark place got darker and darker. The dislike for myself grew each day and it started to feel ordinary! I was willing to do anything to escape those feelings, the pain and the realism of life. I wanted to give up and I want...ed to change but saw myself escaping which led me to thoughts I wouldn’t want any soul to endure. It wasn’t until I gave the shit up that I realised I wasn’t this person I’d grown to believe. I had values and morals that were still embedded in me and I was stronger than I thought. I began to be honest with my relationships with family, friends and myself! The reality of accepting that I had a problem was hard and I knew this was one step closer to sitting in my own shit to apprehend that this was serious and If I can’t change myself now; I never will. Letting go of the past and my mistakes is not easy. I don’t identify myself with the shit bloke I was whilst drinking and taking drugs. It’s not to say I don’t take responsibility for my actions. But all I know now is that I want to continue to grow and be the best version of myself. Lessons have been learnt and the beauty amongst this dark time is that there is light in my life. Rather than hurt others I’m now going to continue to help others. If I can change one life, I can then inspire another to change their life. I cannot live in guilt or shame anymore because that was the booze that brought out the ugly side of reality in my head. My journey is special and precious and I am now me! And I will continue to be the best form of me. I got this, you got this Much love. @milky__bar__kid

06.01.2022 What mask do you use? What persona do you hide behind? Life can be very painful. We learn from a very young age to put on different masks to cope.... As we grow older we start to take on certain personas in order to be liked or accepted: * The clown: You make everyone laugh, everyone thinks you are the life of the party. * The Carer: You look after everyone. You make sure everyone is okay. * The Leader: You organise everything. You are pro active. You get stuff done. * The strong one: You protect. You keep everyone safe. You are there no matter what. You never give up. You keep going no matter what obstacles are in your way. The problem is that people often expect you to continue to be these sorts of people. The pressure can then be too much. What happens to the persona when you need a break? When life gets too much for you. What do you do then? Maybe you feel stuck. What happens if I show my vulnerability? Will I be rejected? People expect me to be a certain way. People will not want to be around me anymore if I show them my true self. You lay in bed at night in the dark worried about how you will pay all the bills. How will I keep this big house that my family has got used to living in, the life style that they have all fitted in so nicely to. You feel this anxiety, this tension in your chest, growing and trying to choke you. You may hate your job, you may want to change careers but it seems too hard to achieve. Again, you feel stuck, unable to make changes. So every day becomes this mundane existence of you pretending to be happy. You feel like a robot. Doing all the motions but feeling nothing, empty, numb. If you want things to be different, you will have to have the strength and courage to loose the mask. As painful as it may seem at the time, it will be one of the most wonderful freeing times of your life. You will finally feel a freedom that you may never have experienced. People will stay in your life if they really care about you. They will love and accept the raw you even more than the masked you. If you do loose people, you never really had them in the first place. Good people cannot be lost with honesty. Healthy relationships only strengthen with vulnerability. To be truly open and honest with our feelings is the beginning of a new life. To show vulnerability is how we get true connection with people. To put our ego and pride aside and just be. Not trying to be something we know we are not. This is true freedom. In this, you will find the peace your soul has been searching for. You will finally be able to live an authentic life. You are enough, just the way you are. I know you are tired. Come sit with me and just be you and I will be me

04.01.2022 Remember the saying monkey see, monkey do? Remember your children are always watching you. Theyre like sponges. If you dont want to be better for yourself, be better for them. Learn ways of dealing with lifes stresses without picking up the bottle to teach them how to manage stress. Learn ways to let out your anger without exploding and showing them thats how we deal with things. ... Learn the right ways to communicate to show them its okay to express how they feel. Show them its ok to be sad. Show them its ok to cry. Show them that youre not just their father but that youre a human too, that you have feeling and emotions just like everyone else. Dont be afraid to show them youre not perfect. Children respond to vulnerability and truth more than anything.

03.01.2022 Leah who runs our support groups is now offering one on one sessions. If you could please follow, like or share her new page it would be greatly appreciated. https://www.facebook.com/Leahs-Life-Skills-Coaching-102290658384466/

03.01.2022 Welcome to our page. We are not an online counselling service. If you would like to contact us, please send us a message or an email [email protected] A bit about us and what we offer:...Continue reading

03.01.2022 The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response. Your I dont need anyone, Ill just do it all myself conditioning is a survival tactic. An...d you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you. From the parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was never home from working three jobs to feed and house you. From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but never offered a safe haven that honored your heart. From the friendships and family who ALWAYS took more than they ever gave. From all the situations when someone told you were in this together or I got you then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when shit got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too. From all the lies and all the betrayals. You learned along the way that you just couldnt really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point. Extreme-independence IS. A. TRUST. ISSUE. You learnt: if I dont put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I wont have to be disappointed when they dont show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will ALWAYS drop the ball EVENTUALLY right? You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt ancestors who came before you. #generationaltrauma #ancestraltrauma Extreme-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak. So, you dont trust anyone. And you dont trust yourself, either, to choose people. To trust is to hope, to trust is to be vulnerable. Never again, you vow. But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth its your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall. Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either. Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming. Its a trauma response. The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed. You are worthy of having support. You are worthy of having true partnership. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of having your heart held. You are worthy to be adored. You are worthy to be cherished. You are worthy to have someone say, You rest. I got this. And actually deliver on that promise. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy. You dont have to earn it. You dont have to prove it. You dont have to bargain for it. You dont have to beg for it. You are worthy. Worthy. Simply because you exist. I love you. I like you. I life you. Mauri Ora whnau Lets heal! *Credit: This post is an edited version of an original post by Jamila White. (FB: @inspiredjamila, IG: @inspired.jamila)

02.01.2022 We are building a brotherhood to create a safe place for men to come to be supported. With covid we are running our support groups through zoom and our next on is in the events on our Facebook Mens Group We have big plans for the Brotherhood and a much larger vision for when covid allows us. We will be running workshops for men, relationship workshops and workshops for women who want to learn the best ways to support the men in their lives.... I run these with Leah, our qualified family therapist and drug/alcohol counsellor who has had 30 years in the welfare field and who has put together a Basic Life Skills Course that we teach. We look forward to our next zoom and hope you can join us next Wednesday the 23rd of September. @iamjoshuajames_ wearing our Signature Mens Hood. Our merchandise is available on our website. www.buildabrotherhood.com

01.01.2022 No matter how hard we try to escape our emotions, sooner or later it will demand us to feel it. You can choose to sit with it, feel it and let it pass or- you can try to run from it only for it to come up and out in other ways. Like road rage or when you can’t find the other matching sock, exploding over something irrelevant wondering what just happened. ... Crying since birth has been a sign we are alive. I don’t know when or at what age things changed and we feel it is a sign of weakness. There’s so much strength in vulnerability. It’s normal not to be positive or happy all the time. We have moments of happiness, just like sadness. Things will come up and things will pass. We just have to remember on our bad days that so far we have survived all the others and that this bad day is just another one that we need to get through. Just another 24 hours. This too, shall pass.