Build the Village | Family therapist

Build the Village

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25.01.2022 "The end game is for us to guide our children and teens through to adulthood in a way that will help them discover the best versions of themselves. For this to happen, they need the safety of us so they can open up to our influence and wisdom along the way." #connection #parenting

25.01.2022 We are not our thoughts. We are the collection of our experience that has shaped our values. Adding two words, ‘for now’, reminds us that our thoughts and feelings are transient and we can distance ourselves from our thoughts rather than define ourselves by them.

23.01.2022 To understand the impact of trauma on the body, one really valuable thing I did decades ago was to study sensory integration, particularly the vestibular sense.... I was encountering numerous children and teens with balance problems and without a sense of their bodies in space. Here is a nice piece on the vestibular sense and what may influence its successful development. "The vestibular sense, also known as the balance sense, is the awareness of your body is space. The name comes from the word vestibule. This sense is quite literally a hallway to the brain. This hallway begins to develop in utero at just two months after conception. The vestibular sense is completely formed around five months after conception and movement in the womb will contribute to its development! The vestibular sense is the first fully functioning sensory system to develop!" See more

23.01.2022 My family lives in a metaphorical greenhouse too

21.01.2022 "Yes, Autism does come with its own set of challenges, but it also comes with so many individual and unique strengths...Im not broken. I am just Autistic. I am... just me." When Melbourne native Tashi Baiguerra received her diagnosis last year at the age of 21, her initial reaction was of sadness and shame. In this powerful TEDx talk delivered last month, she shares her journey toward acceptance and why she is driven to help smooth the path for the Autistic young people behind her. (cw: mention of statistics surrounding self-harm, suicide & sexual assault)

20.01.2022 For those kids who arent early readers by discovery it is best to wait until the body and brain are ready. Around the age of 8-10 there is widening of the bridge between the brain hemispheres that allows the patterns of language to become assimilated and understood. At the same time an extra layer of myelin is coating the nervous systems which means that the interaction between sensory and motor neurones is happening much faster. If by ten years old your kids are still st...ruggling to read its a good time to look at the body. Are there involuntary neo-natal reflexes that should have integrated into the body? Are these interrupting the motor skills required for reading? Have the postural reflexes developed to hold the head and body in a position to read and write? If any of these barriers are present it means that reading can be exhausting! As usual Laura Grace Weldon has some good advice. https://lauragraceweldon.com//reading-readiness-has-to-do/

19.01.2022 Brilliant insight. We at Circle of Security International couldnt agree more. Core needs must be recognized as real and honorable. When they arent, they are a...t the root of "misbehavior." Making core needs simple to recognize (and respond to) is at the heart of our work. This quotation is well worth placing where parents can read it on a regular basis.

19.01.2022 The perception and reaction of extended family to our children can trigger uncomfortable reactions in ourselves. We need to find ways to celebrate our kids the way they are without the family or social pressure to conform.

19.01.2022 Neurodiversity 101 Its a big word for a simple idea! neuro/brain [image of head with brain]... + diversity/range of different kinds [image of landscape with trees, water, animal] = a range of different kinds of human brain neurodiversity is not a belief system a personal opinion a political position a theory by itself, it is just a neutral fact of human life: neurodiversity exists! [image of text/speech boxes] more and more, people are saying they are pro-neurodiversity support neurodiversity celebrate neurodiversity those are personal opinions; people may agree or disagree that neurodiversity is a good thing, but that it is REAL is undeniable. bonus neurodiversity vocab words: neurotypical: having the most common, typical kind of brain neurodivergent: having any kind of brain that is not neurotypical neurodiverse: having a variety of people with neurotypical and neurodivergent brains; refers to a group or group environment, such as a family or workplace by Erin Human https://erinhuman.com/2017/07/01/neurodiversity-101/

18.01.2022 I completely agree that relationships are central to families and are at risk within modern societies but our communities do not support families. We blame parents instead of policies and this feeling of inadequacy causes us to further outsource care of our kids. Articles advocating family support and not parent guilt would be more proactive.

17.01.2022 Childism is systemic in mainstream education.

17.01.2022 Oh the number of injuries I suffered from sports! Netball, Im looking at you.

15.01.2022 Too often I would hear well meaning colleagues tell families that they were welcome to enrol their child but they didnt have the resources. Making a request for a families needs and adapting resources is respectful, positive and builds community.

14.01.2022 Teach your kids a needs vocabulary so they can make requests to have their needs met.

12.01.2022 We ask too much of out children and we ask it too soon. Self-regulation is a developmental process that we can nurture and encourage in one way: through the experience of emotional co-regulation with caring and attuned adults

11.01.2022 "I want parents to expose their children to diverse people people of different colours, races, genders, appearances, disability so that encountering someone with a visible difference is not a surprise. Social media is a great place to start."

11.01.2022 Must read! Probably the best article I have seen on defining the spectrum. Look closely at the categories. Would make a good model for diagnosing, as well as categorizing supports.

10.01.2022 Each stage of our lives serves a purpose preparing us physically, neurologically, emotionally, socially and psychologically for the next one. Theres a lot to b...e done in each step. Why rush? In fact, why let the possibilities and expectations of the next step limit the potential of the present one? #bodytobrainlearning #integratingthinking #helpingthebodysupportlearning #development #neurodevelopmentaleducation #sensorymaturitymatters #neuromotormaturitymatters #developmentalsupport #whyrush #presentmoment #presence #patience #natureknows See more

09.01.2022 Am I Worthy of Imitation? There are two ways to use personal power with other people. The one we are most familiar with is the one that underpins all of our cul...ture, and almost every one of our cultural institutions including parenting and education. It is known as The Dynamic of Domination, or Power Over. We all do it because thats the culture, so theres no blame and no guilt (lets get that out of the way first). The Dynamic of Domination - Us and Them We see it in our family lives and our work lives when we boss people around telling them what to do and how to do it. We find ourselves offering incentives and rewards to make them do what we want them to do. If the soft options fail, then we resort to various forms punishment which might include excluding, shaming, taking privileges away, force, and even violence - all in order to force them do what we want. Our common language use and language patterns not only support this dynamic, they work to keep it in existence. The Dynamic of Partnership - We As Mr Rogers says in his quote, there is a world of difference in establishing an environment where someone grows into WANTING to do the task and carry out the behaviours of The Dynamic of Partnership. Our mindfulness around the way we speak to and about our children is one sure way to bring about change. When you and I gain the skills for creating and maintaining successful partnering skills with those we love, we create heaven on earth. You only need to think of a teacher, a boss, a colleague who treated you as an equal human being and you can feel the difference. Thats what we are aiming for. That is spirituality in practice. #parentingforapeacefulworld #parentingforsocialchange #speakgoodthingswordshavewings #thereisnousandthemonlyus #thedynamicofpartnership #twoheartsworkingasone

08.01.2022 Relationships (co-regulation) are the key to self regulation.

08.01.2022 Non violent communication is all about finding out what you need and making a request to meet that need. Preferably with an empathetic companion. Oh wait thats just what this cartoon is saying!

08.01.2022 Play has so many benefits

07.01.2022 Kids dont misbehave

07.01.2022 Instead of trying to control the behaviors of individuals with autism to make them indistinguishable from the general public, Amy Laurent, PhD, OTR/L suggests a positive shift in focus that supports the development of their emotional skills

05.01.2022 Our bodies are not ready for formalised learning until around 9 years old! Therapy modalities now support an education system that is not developmentally appropriate. What a wonderful world that ensured Prep was ready for kids rather than kids ready for Prep.

04.01.2022 Download and print out the POSTER here (PDF file) https://upbility.net/blogs/news/i-have-dyslexia

04.01.2022 One day this will makes sense to everyone.

03.01.2022 Connection over correction. Co-regulation before self-regulation.

03.01.2022 For kids to listen, focus and learn to sit still for a period of time, they must develop both proprioception and vestibular sense. The most critical time to dev...elop a childs proprioception and vestibular sense is before age six. With all the time spent in front of screens and telling kids to sit still, avoid climbing, and stop jumping, its not surprising why kids wont listen. See more

01.01.2022 "3. Children are the boss When you give children control over their lives, people assume that it means children become the boss of you. Not true! Everyone is the boss of their own body. Making a choice that suits you does not automatically mean infringing on the rights of others."

01.01.2022 There is no knowledge that we can teach in school that will outweigh the importance of knowing how to be happy. ~Philip Mott #freedom #responsibility #houstonsudburyschool #sudburyschool #selfdirectededucation #happychildhood

01.01.2022 NVC in a nutshell