Ceremonies and Mindfulness with Wendy Haynes | Society & culture website
Ceremonies and Mindfulness with Wendy Haynes
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25.01.2022 For a candle ceremony a couple could light individual tapers acknowledging their own strengths, qualities and values. Using the individual tapers then would then light the single marriage candle as an acknowledgement that even when they join together their two lives as one it is possible to retain their uniqueness and brightness. Delia and Nick wanted to involve all their children and asked me to read this simple acknowledgement before the lighting of the candles: "Delia and ...Nick feel honoured and are very proud to have their children, Rebecca, Jon, Samantha and Joshua as a part of their wedding. (To the children) They love each of you dearly. Coming together as a blended family has had its ups and downs and they wish to acknowledge and honour the love and acceptance you have given freely over the last six years, it hasnt gone unnoticed. Their love for you has enhanced their relationship and they are both deeply appreciative of your open and playful hearts. They would like to ask if you would come forward and light a candle to signify your coming together as one family." (The four children each light a candle and give Delia and Nick a hug). "I would like to now invite Delia and Nick to come forward together to light the fifth remaining candle in recognition of the union of their family."
24.01.2022 According to The Fiji Islands Magazine just over 38% of the population of Fiji are Hindus. The Hindu marriage ceremony begins months in advance with the most important rite on the wedding day being the Agni parinaya. This takes place when the couple walk around the fire seven times. They also take seven steps guided by seven white lines drawn on the ground. At each step they make the following seven promises to each other: The first step to nourish one another;... The second step to grow in strength as one; The third step to preserve our wealth; The fourth step to share our joys and sorrows; The fifth step to care for our children; The sixth step to be together forever; and The seventh step to remain lifelong friends, the perfect halves to make a perfect whole. The union is now unbreakable. See more
24.01.2022 Let your light shine...more candle ceremony ideas. The couple may wish to offer candles to each other acknowledging their willingness to be bright and active partners in their union. Parents, grandparents, members of the bridal party, children of the couple or friends can be involved in offering a blessing to the couple while presenting a lit candle and encouraging the recipient to let their love shine. For example:... "Martina and Brent may you continue to have lots of fun together, laughing often, resting in each other arms and enjoying the days you get to spend together. (As the person presents the candle to Martina and Brent). Let your love shine bright so that you can feel its warmth at all times." More candle ceremony ideas to come!
23.01.2022 Heres some very supportive information for Death, Grief and Funerals in the COVID age https://www.covidwhitepaper.com/
23.01.2022 Family traditions Re-lighting the candle/s at other key moments in their lives can be a potent reminder of the special times and be the start of a family tradition. I have had couples re-light their marriage candle at their childrens naming ceremony to symbolize the strength and love of their marriage illuminating throughout their lives and their wish to keep it burning brightly. Another couple chose to light their marriage candle every evening at the dinner table. They repl...aced it with another beautiful candle when the time came, lighting the new candle using the flame of the first one. There are variations on the candle ceremonies in my wedding and naming books. Outside of the marriage candle ceremony I enjoy lighting a candle when a group of friends are gathered at my home for a meal or, I will bring a lit candle into my presence when I need insight or a focus for reflection. I would often light a candle at OPD sessions I conducted to honour the inspiration and support I have received from celebrants and other business people and the joy of shining out the information to others. Consider the possible meaning of lighting a candle and light a bright flame today. May your inspiration and love shine out!
23.01.2022 I love that quiet space as my senses awaken and I begin to hear the birds soft call. Turning my attention to their song to receive the beauty and, at the same time, touching that peaceful waking sense. Drawing nourishment from the 'no mind' state of sleeping, of embodied innocence and freedom from worries... a sweet time to practice mindfulness of body and breath. Of self compassion. Mindful presence to begin the journey of yet another precious day I get to live. Some days it is more fleeting than others as the 'to do' list starts to formulate!
23.01.2022 These were the Four Tips for Taking Care that I mentioned in the role play online funeral ceremony.
22.01.2022 You are welcome to join me at this 'free to join' tele summit of inspiring speakers who are passionate about working together for collective care and resilience. Love to see you there.
22.01.2022 I was looking for one of my favourite poems on grief by John O'Donohue and came across this beautiful blog http://transactionswithbeauty.com/home/10poemsforloss and this reflection called In Lieu of Flowers by Shawna Lemay ... A few years ago I read a friends fathers obituary on Facebook. His father had requested in lieu of flowers, please take a friend or loved one out for lunch. Although I love flowers very much, I wont see them when Im gone. So in lieu of flowers: Buy a book of poetry written by someone still alive, sit outside with a cup of tea, a glass of wine, and read it out loud, by yourself or to someone, or silently. Spend some time with a single flower. A rose maybe. Smell it, touch the petals. Really look at it. Drink a nice bottle of wine with someone you love. Or, Champagne. And think of what John Maynard Keynes said, My only regret in life is that I did not drink more Champagne. Or what Dom Perignon said when he first tasted the stuff: Come quickly! I am tasting stars! Take out a paint set and lay down some colours. Watch birds. Common sparrows are fine. Pigeons, too. Geese are nice. Robins. In lieu of flowers, walk in the trees and watch the light fall into it. Eat an apple, a really nice big one. I hope its crisp. Have a long soak in the bathtub with candles, maybe some rose petals. Sit on the front stoop and watch the clouds. Have a dish of strawberry ice cream in my name. If its winter, have a cup of hot chocolate outside for me. If its summer, a big glass of ice water. If its autumn, collect some leaves and press them in a book you love. Id like that. Sit and look out a window and write down what you see. Write some other things down. In lieu of flowers, I would wish for you to flower. I would wish for you to blossom, to open, to be beautiful.
21.01.2022 I would like to welcome you to join me online, Thursday, 5th November at 6.30pm AEDT (Sydney, NSW) for our special monthly session that is open to everyone who is interested - celebrants, health workers, death doula's, individuals ... anyone interested in entering honest conversations about death and dying. What is important to you? What would you like more clarity or support with? What questions or stories arise that you would like to be heard? The container for sharing is based upon the principles of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and the practice of deep listening. For more information, to register and receive the link please click here. https://events.humanitix.com/online-empathy-circle-honest-c
20.01.2022 https://events.humanitix.com/celebrating-this-precious-life
19.01.2022 Last year I met Reena in an online workshop that was surprisingly, not on death and dying. When we were paired for an exercise it was clear that we both shared ...the same passion for this work, Befriending Death, Embracing Life. In this online session Reena and I will bring to you the Sufi mystic poetry from central India with its rich metaphors to support our exploration of fear and inhibitions around death and dying. Let us connect with the living energy of needs that motivate us into action, that is life serving. We will invite the music and practices to help us connect with what is alive in us to our inherent healing power, life force and wisdom as we engage with the challenges and opportunities of our times. We look forward to witnessing the process of befriending death and embracing life with you as part of the #WakeUpWalkTowards.tele-summit. Friday 13th November 2020 7-9pm AEDT. It's free to join. Click here to register https://wakeupwalktowards.life
19.01.2022 MEMORIES OF WEDDINGS PAST - I remember being quite alarmed when I met this couple for the first time. When I opened my front door and welcomed them into my home the groom was holding their beautiful new born baby. The baby looked a little treasure fast asleep. I acknowledged their baby and the groom said, yeah, the little ##@!! didnt sleep last night. It took me quite aback that anyone would call their child by this language. I was starting to think that I would have to de...cline the booking as my judgements were making it clear that I wasnt going to be comfortable working with them. However, what happened next was beautiful. Since we had booked the time together I put my judgement on hold and invited them in. Prompted by my questions they proceeded to share what their vision was for their wedding (with some descriptive swear words included) His bride, a gentle but strong young lady, who was well spoken, did not apologise for his language, she just sat beside him and talked as his equal. After discussing their reasons for getting married, their love for each other, their appreciation and admiration of their very close family and friends I was opened to a world of love, respect, fierce loyalty and protection. They had been high school sweet hearts for three years and then had some time apart. It was during this time about seven years ago when they realised that they wanted to come together and form a more mature relationship. They had been together for a total of ten years and decided now was the time to get married. After this sharing and seeing this groom was a diamond in the rough I agreed to be their celebrant. I came to realise that, while he spoke a different language to me, his heart was open and in love with his beautiful fiance and mother of his child. When it came time to leave, they thanked me and the groom, said he knew he was different and spoke a bit rough but he was very happy I had agreed to marry them. I received their love letters a few weeks later which I invite all couples to write (and not all of them take the time or interest to do this exercise). I felt honoured to read theirs - they both feel very blessed to have each other and their beautiful little boy. I am glad I left my judgement by the side and was privileged to participate in their wedding ceremony. They are still doing really well many years later.
18.01.2022 The expression of respect and gratitude in the exchange of wedding vows between a couple is a highlight of the marriage ceremony. Inviting the couple to express what they are thankful for to the other is a display of intimacy that will touch the hearts of everyone present. Their thoughts can be crafted into their vows or a space can be created in the ceremony where they speak their love and appreciation spontaneously what I love about you is your, what I appreciate about... you is. The latter need to feel confident that they can be present in the moment and not feel under pressure to perform. I find this is usually better suited to smaller and intimate wedding ceremonies. As the celebrant, being conscious of the layout of the ceremony and, for example, when moving to undertake the signing of the documents, direct the couple to move to the signing table first and then follow. It may seem obvious to most however it is worth mentioning and is an important part of the choreography of a ceremony and shows great respect to the parties.
18.01.2022 May this marriage be blessed with love, laughter, peace and happiness With love that supports and nurtures you and your family With laughter that fills your home and family life With a lightness and joy that is contagious With smiles that welcome and relax... May you find peace in your space together and in your time apart May true contentment and happiness be yours See more
17.01.2022 A very dear friend of mine recorded this with her two daughters singing. Her brother in law died unexpectedly. He was one of 7 siblings and well loved in his rural community. I cried watching it, at the beauty, connection and sense of community evoked. https://www.youtube.com/watch
17.01.2022 Rituals and art can be a powerful way to connect with the sometimes 'hard to imagine' reality of loss and grief in a community. Putting aside all political agendas, stories and beliefs, letting ourselves hold space for grief.
16.01.2022 Another round of tips to help you have a special and relaxed wedding day... Choose music that is special for you both. You will have the opportunity to select music for the beginning, the signing of the documents and at the end of the ceremony. Make sure the lyrics are appropriate to your celebration. Delegate the task of managing the music to someone who is confident and relaxed. Ask them to familiarise themselves with the CD/iPod player beforehand and also the music. Give c...lear directions as to when you want the music turned on and faded out a Post It note on the cover with instructions works well. Try to access the player the day before so you can ensure your music systems work! Consider fun things for the children to do! Bubble blowing provides lots of fun for them! If there are young children coming especially if they are the bridal couples children nominate a special carer. Make sure that the person looking after them has a supply of drinks and nibblies for them and that the child goes to the toilet beforehand! A special pillow can be made for them to sit on (this is more special to the child if given on the day). If they are very young, decide what will happen if the child gets upset and wants to be held during the ceremony. Will you hold them or will someone take them out who does not mind leaving the ceremony? Discuss this decision with your celebrant. If you are having an outdoor wedding, have a back up plan ready to go! This minimises the stress if you have to change plans due to wet weather.
16.01.2022 Here's some very supportive information for Death, Grief and Funerals in the COVID age https://www.covidwhitepaper.com/
16.01.2022 We can all appreciate the value of respect and gratitude in our lives. Whether you are a celebrant conducting a celebration or you are planning a ceremony in your life there are profound opportunities for deepening our connection to others and building community by considering these two qualities respect and gratitude, and the way we can represent them to others. Websters Online Dictionary gives the synonyms, to value and show courtesy to, for the word respect and defi...nes gratitude as a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. Respect requires our attentiveness to others; it calls for inclusiveness, empathy and compassion. Gratitude requires an open heart. The willingness to express these qualities in our ceremonies and in our lives is invaluable. As a professional celebrant respect is a natural part of our service to couples and would be displayed in many ways prior to the ceremony starting respecting our clients choices and supporting them to have the ceremony they want, offering a high standard of service and attention, punctuality and excellent presentation just to mention the obvious ones. And, for the ceremony itself? There are many ways and here are just a few Setting the scene for the ceremony and checking everything is in order before the start is an act of respect for everyone present. At ceremonies it would be usual practice for the celebrant or other key person to gather guests to be seated or to invite them to stand close to the ceremonial area and request that mobile phones be switched off. In most ceremonies, people look to the celebrant for leadership (even at the most subtle and discreet level) and it is important that we honour this role, guiding and supporting our clients and also the guests to have the most heartfelt and enjoyable experience possible. Before I start to speak at the ceremony I take a moment to pause, to look and smile at the bride and groom if it is a wedding or at the parents if it is a naming ceremony and then discreetly ask or look to see if they are ready to start. It is this quiet moment that offers the courtesy of allowing everyone, especially the key people, to arrive at the ceremony. It would be easy to rush in and begin however, I would say it is essential to take a moment, take another breath in and out, look out and connect with everyone present and smile. It is that simple.
15.01.2022 In this time of the pandemic we are called to find new ways of honouring life's celebrations and ceremonies. As funeral directors, celebrants, family and community members we can join together and respond to the changes and challenges creatively and collectively. Together, we are forging new ground to conduct innovative online ceremonies that are engaged, compassionate, caring and connecting families and friends far and wide. "I cried and cried with the joy of human connecti...on" and "Given a choice between a live funeral and an online funeral like that, I would choose the latter", were two of the reflections received after participating in the online role play of Bill's funeral ceremony. You can watch the ceremony here: https://youtu.be/C-YNkeYqE3Q And access the learning guide at my website www.wendyhaynes.com Thank you to everyone who has supported this project with your enthusiasm and involvement. Please feel free to share this post!
15.01.2022 The Online Funeral and Memorial Guide is now available, for free at www.wendyhaynes.com Online ceremonies cannot replace the face to face connection we often yearn for when someone we love dies. However, while the Covid-19 and travel restrictions are in place, this style of ceremony does allow us a means to connect and engage with family and friends, locally or overseas, in a meaningful way to share stories, laughter and tears together and to say farewell. To support funeral ...directors, ministers and celebrants meet the needs of families wanting to have an online funeral ceremony we gathered to role play three online ceremonies and emerged from this steep learning curve to create a free comprehensive guide that includes a step by step layout for creating and conducting an online ceremony, comprehensive checklists and an example ceremony. There are also tips on how to encourage people to take care of themselves during the ceremony, how to connect with others online, how to best support yourself before, during and after the ceremony, creating a computer teleprompter, sample images, a run sheet and lots more.
15.01.2022 When it comes to connecting with ourself or others, whether for work or play, as a celebrant, family member or in the wider community there are five qualities that can help us to listen empathically. 1. Curiosity. Fostering a childlike sense of being in the moment with what is - in all its shapes and flavours. 2. Mindful presence - awareness of the present moment, as it is, without judgement. 3. Intention to connect - putting aside all ideas of right and wrong and rather,... opening to connect, to really hear ourselves and/or the other person 4. Understanding and connecting with universal needs - however we express ourselves it reveals our needs (sometimes joyfully so, others time in a more tragic way) 5. Confirmation - being able to reflect what has been seen or heard is alive for yourself or the other person speaking/acting. Jesse and Catherine, authors of Ongo, Everyday Nonviolence
13.01.2022 I was looking for one of my favourite poems on grief by John ODonohue and came across this beautiful blog http://transactionswithbeauty.com/home/10poemsforloss and this reflection called In Lieu of Flowers by Shawna Lemay ... A few years ago I read a friends fathers obituary on Facebook. His father had requested in lieu of flowers, please take a friend or loved one out for lunch. Although I love flowers very much, I wont see them when Im gone. So in lieu of flowers: Buy a book of poetry written by someone still alive, sit outside with a cup of tea, a glass of wine, and read it out loud, by yourself or to someone, or silently. Spend some time with a single flower. A rose maybe. Smell it, touch the petals. Really look at it. Drink a nice bottle of wine with someone you love. Or, Champagne. And think of what John Maynard Keynes said, My only regret in life is that I did not drink more Champagne. Or what Dom Perignon said when he first tasted the stuff: Come quickly! I am tasting stars! Take out a paint set and lay down some colours. Watch birds. Common sparrows are fine. Pigeons, too. Geese are nice. Robins. In lieu of flowers, walk in the trees and watch the light fall into it. Eat an apple, a really nice big one. I hope its crisp. Have a long soak in the bathtub with candles, maybe some rose petals. Sit on the front stoop and watch the clouds. Have a dish of strawberry ice cream in my name. If its winter, have a cup of hot chocolate outside for me. If its summer, a big glass of ice water. If its autumn, collect some leaves and press them in a book you love. Id like that. Sit and look out a window and write down what you see. Write some other things down. In lieu of flowers, I would wish for you to flower. I would wish for you to blossom, to open, to be beautiful.
13.01.2022 United your resolve, united your hearts may your spirits be at one, that you may long together dwell in unity and harmony
12.01.2022 An invitation to join me and celebrate this precious life - Ongo: Everyday Nonviolence - an online communication program that is engaging, inspiring and practical. Our work in the community as celebrants can be richly rewarding and yet as we know, it can also be demanding. Reflecting on my own experiences and speaking with other celebrants over the years it is clear that we can be confronted with unique and challenging situations at any time! You will undoubtedly have your ow...Continue reading
12.01.2022 Celebrating This Precious Life - DEATH AND DYING. This special session held online once a month will support honest conversations about death and dying. Everyone is welcome. Come to one or come to all! Register here to get the meeting link for tomorrows meeting. Free to attend. 3rd September 2020 - 6.30pm-7.30pm AEST (Sydney, Australia) https://events.humanitix.com/online-empathy-circle-honest-c
11.01.2022 And my last tip for ensuring your wedding day is relaxed and fun... In the build-up to the wedding day, remember why you are getting married! Keep the communication open between you both. With regard to the wedding plans; discuss what your expectations and needs are; discuss any difficulties or stresses that are happening and work together to find a resolve. Take time out from the wedding planning to just be together. ... Relax and enjoy! May the love between you continue to blossom and be nourished by your wedding celebration. May all of your family and friends be touched by the love you share.
11.01.2022 What happens when you have planned for the perfect day out on the headland and the weather has other ideas! Well, with Frank and Shay this is exactly what happened. Once they got over the initial will we go to the headland or wont we dilemma they were fabulous and just accepted what was happening. They were just so happy to get married it didnt matter where they were. As part of the introduction we had written... "Frank and Shay have called for us to gather here in this ...magnificent place, with the surf and beach below, the gentle sea breeze cooling us, and an amazing view to behold. It is a place they both love and which inspires them inspires them to enjoy life and live each moment to its fullest." Instead of missing out on this beautiful piece of the ceremony I invited guests to bring forth images of the headland on a fine day: the magnificent long beaches either side, the breeze blowing across their faces, the sound of the waves (I also invited those who hadnt been up there yet to make sure they checked it out - even if they had to go up there with umbrellas as Hungry Headland is truly beautiful). I called forth this images and the beauty of the place and talked of Frank and Shays love for this area and how it inspires them. It was one of many magic moments on their special day.
11.01.2022 You are most welcome to join Lisa and myself and a beautiful group of meditator's tonight, online, for our weekly meditation. I'll guide a mindfulness, presence meditation at 7pm AEDT. Lisa will offer a self-compassion practice at 7.30pm AEDT. Come to one practice or both! It's free to join us. Register here to get the Zoom link. https://events.humanitix.com/mindfulness-with-wendy-and-lisa
11.01.2022 Meaningful rituals and ceremonies can offer support and a sense of belonging in both the positive and challenging times. I am reminded of the family who created a treasure chest when their mother/grandmother died. Each of the family members collected an item that reminded them of their mother/grandmother to place in the treasure chest. As each item was placed in the chest the person told a story about their chosen item. It was an opportunity to honour all the precious gifts a...nd memories the deceased had brought into their lives. They laughed and cried and connected as a family in what was a very difficult time. I have been giving the idea of treasure chests for ceremonies some further thought and also reading about time capsules in The Dead Good Time Capsule Book, edited by G P Gill (published by Engineers of the Imagination). The online information website, Wikipedia, defines a time capsule as a historic cache of goods and/or information, usually intended as a method of communication with future people, even if the future person turns out to be yourself or one of your family! Imagine creating a time capsule or treasure chest at a wedding ceremony that the couple could open on their tenth wedding anniversary or for a childs naming ceremony that they could open on their 18th birthday! A treasure chest could be filled with a collection of goodies that could be added to over time and viewed periodically whereas I see the time capsule as being collected at the time of the ceremony and sealed securely only to be opened at a specified time later down the track. Whatever you choose you could be flexible on your approach to this creative ceremony gift. Think about what would be exciting to find in a capsule or treasure chest in say ten or twenty years time. With the pace of change that we are currently experiencing around us things that may seem ordinary now will be outdated in the not too distant future! Remember that if you are storing a time capsule ensure the contents are not perishable and the container is well sealed. You can buy moisture absorbers/silica gel from art shops which will help to keep the contents dry. Place items in bags (especially newspaper clippings as they have a high acid content). Write any notes or letters in black ink apparently it doesnt fade as quickly! Most of all have fun, enjoy the making of the gift and if it is a true time capsule see if you can keep it closed until the specified date and create a ceremony for the opening!
10.01.2022 Trust, compatibility and ease with each other Are the foundations of your friendship Which is your gift to each other Take time with one another Hold each other often... Speak with honesty and care Listen with respect and trust Both give and receive your love and friendship with an open heart May this keep your marriage strong and vibrant And may you hold hands for many years to come as you walk together May you keep your love fresh and alive Keeping the joy in your lives and in your marriage Wendy Haynes
09.01.2022 Honouring parents, children or the bridal party in a ceremony can be embraced in many ways. Here are a few ideas: Often the mother of the bride will arrive with the bride and her father. After I have greeted the bride and ensured she is ready, I would then offer to escort the mother of the bride to her seat before her daughters entrance. This is a beautiful non verbal show of respect and courtesy that can be friendly, quiet and non fussy. The family may wish to ask another f...amily member or possibly one of the groomsmen to be the escort for the mother of the bride. At one of my earlier weddings I was packing up my things after most of the guests had moved to the reception venue when I found the mother of the bride, who did not have a partner, in tears in the car park. She had been collecting the last of the things from the chapel and realised that she had not organised a lift to the next venue. She had arrived with the bride and yet in the busyness that followed had no plans for this transition. Almost everyone had left without realising the dilemma. It highlighted to me the importance of small details such as this. I make a point, when knowing that a parent or grandparent may be at the ceremony on their own, to ask if the couple thinks this person would like an escort, a brother or an uncle for example, to get them a drink, take them to the next venue or ask for the first dance. It has been appreciated many times. Gratitude towards the parents can be acknowledged verbally or symbolically in the wedding ceremony. When I am crafting the wedding ceremony I ask my couple: What do you love and appreciate about your parents/family? Their response is then used to write a simple paragraph or two. As a show of respect the parents may also be invited to speak a blessing or offer a small reading at this time. Gifts can be offered, for example: the presentation of flowers to the mothers of the couple or to both parents, the giving of the signing pen to a significant family member, a candle lighting or sand ceremony will all show respect and gratitude that will mean a lot to the family or friends involved. See more
07.01.2022 Holding space for those whose celebrations we share... for anyone we meet. http://upliftconnect.com/hold-space/
05.01.2022 May the sun bring you new strength by day May the moon softly restore you by night May the rain wash away your fears and the breeze invigorate your being May you, all the days of your life,... Walk gently through the world and know its beauty See more
05.01.2022 I have, for many years now, been reading age appropriate stories with young children primarily at naming ceremonies but also very occasionally at weddings. My all time favourite for namings is Sam McBraggarts, Guess How Much I love you. I bought the big book version which is great for story telling. I simplify the text down a bit as I show the pictures and I engage fully with the children watching - lots of body language as this book is great for big movements, however I ha...ve noticed, and received feedback on how much the adults like it too. I gather the children together before the ceremony is due to start and then share the chosen story and lead straight into the more formal ceremony. I find most adults come around too to listen. I finish with a closing line and your parents love you so much, to the moon and back again... which the children love. Its important that the parents have read the story if you choose it as a celebrant or the parents can choose a very short story that ideally has very clear easy to see pictures. If you or the parents are creative then you may wish to write a personal story - pictures are a must. My partner and I write personal story books for our grandchildren. He writes the poems, I take the pictures and put it together. You can get these printed at online print stores. Stories about family, about being loved, about journeys and other family tales.
04.01.2022 In this time of the pandemic we are called to find new ways of honouring lifes celebrations and ceremonies. As funeral directors, celebrants, family and community members we can join together and respond to the changes and challenges creatively and collectively. Together, we are forging new ground to conduct innovative online ceremonies that are engaged, compassionate, caring and connecting families and friends far and wide. "I cried and cried with the joy of human connecti...on" and "Given a choice between a live funeral and an online funeral like that, I would choose the latter", were two of the reflections received after participating in the online role play of Bills funeral ceremony. You can watch the ceremony here: https://youtu.be/C-YNkeYqE3Q And access the learning guide at my website www.wendyhaynes.com Thank you to everyone who has supported this project with your enthusiasm and involvement. Please feel free to share this post!
03.01.2022 I was talking with some friends about what items could be included in a time capsule or treasure chest mentioned in yesterdays blog post. Here are some ideas from our brainstorming session: wedding ceremony Wishes, written on small pieces of card, from the guests (that could be read out at the ceremony and then placed in the container)... A love letter to each other (which could be part of the exercise for writing their wedding vows which I discuss in my book, Create your own inspiring wedding ceremony) A copy of their wedding ceremony and vows A book about the couple which could include a description of what they are doing in their lives before they are married, a list of what is important to them at this present time, a vision map as to where they think they will be both in terms of their physical setting and also in their relationship. Written insights from the wedding guests as to strengths they witness in the couple. A fun sketch of the neighbourhood where they are living (similar to a childs drawing locating the couples favourite restaurant, caf, hairdresser, park where they walk the dog etc). A photograph of the home the couple are living in. Wedding photographs Informal photographs from the wedding that the couple have not yet seen Dried flower bouquet Old movie tickets or concerts that were special to the couple Newspaper clipping about what was happening on the day (weather maps, news stories, wedding notice etc) Piece of the wedding cake (rich fruit cake preserved with alcohol!) A DVD or PowerPoint presentation from their ceremony A tenth wedding anniversary gift (tin and aluminum are the traditional gifts e.g. pewter or tin jewellery or kitchenware) A CD of the songs that were recorded in the year of the marriage or songs played at the wedding A fun novel or a special poem A shell or stone from the wedding venue Special commemorative coin or stamp from the year of the ceremony A favourite recipe Suggestions for a renewal of vows ceremony!
03.01.2022 A celebrant from the south coast emailed me asking if I had any ideas on how to include a couples two young children in a very simple wedding ceremony on the beach early in the morning. I recall at one small and intimate wedding ceremony, the children, father/groom and I arrived early and created a feature of sandcastles with flowers and shells adorning it. We created a special circle for the parents to stand in as they said their vows. It was so beautiful watching the chid...ren. Yes, they did get sandy but the sand brushed off their nice clothes! OR the parents and children could place a flower in a vase symbolic of their beauty when together. OR they could do a water blessing where everyone could pour a small amount of water over the couples and the childrens hands.
03.01.2022 A beautiful wedding gift for a bride who has no sight and was given a multi sensory vision of her special day.
02.01.2022 A celebrant from the south coast emailed me asking if I had any ideas on how to include a couple's two young children in a very simple wedding ceremony on the beach early in the morning. I recall at one small and intimate wedding ceremony, the children, father/groom and I arrived early and created a feature of sandcastles with flowers and shells adorning it. We created a special circle for the parents to stand in as they said their vows. It was so beautiful watching the chid...ren. Yes, they did get sandy but the sand brushed off their nice clothes! OR the parents and children could place a flower in a vase symbolic of their beauty when together. OR they could do a water blessing where everyone could pour a small amount of water over the couples and the children's hands.
01.01.2022 In my travels to England I visited some of the old churches that are steeped in history and ceremony. Many of these ancient buildings are open to the public during the day and offer a quiet sanctuary in the middle of a city or village. In all of the churches I have been to they have an array of candles, with one always permanently lit (albeit, sometimes an artificial light symbolic of a burning candle). In some churches visitors are welcome to light a candle and ask for suppo...rt or offer a prayer. The sight of a group of small flickering flames representing prayers and blessings always touches me. I recall one small wedding I conducted with about twenty guests where the large array of candles burning at the end of the ceremony looked magnificent. At an appointed time during the ceremony guests were invited to come forward, light a small tapered candle and offer a blessing to the bride and groom. The lit candle was then placed in one of the two shallow dishes either side of the couple. The dishes were filled with sand to make placement of the candles easy. The glow from the flames was beautiful. Many cultures use candles in their ceremonies and rituals and carry rich symbolic meaning. In ancient Greek marriage processions the mother of the bride would carry a lit torch from the family hearth. Now, in a candle ceremony, it is quite common for the mother of the bride and groom to come forward and light the individual candles representing their family and the life of the bride and groom before the union. Toward the end of the ceremony the couple would then proceed to light the marriage candle using these two individual family candles to symbolize their unity. Ill share some more beautiful ideas from other families in the next few blog posts.
01.01.2022 May the road rise up to meet you May the wind be always at your back May the sun shine warm upon your face And rains fall softly upon your fields And until we meet again... May the good Lord hold you in the Hollow of His hand May god be with you and bless you May you see your childrens children May you be poor in misfortune and rich in blessings May you know nothing but happiness From this day forward May the road rise up to meet you May the wind be always at your back May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home And may the hand of a friend always be near May green be the grass you walk on May blue be the skies above you May pure be the joys that surround you May true be the hearts that love you. See more
01.01.2022 At our small and intimate celebration, many years ago now, Roger and I invited twelve guests who were staying with us the night before the ceremony to share an informal meal together. After dinner we formed a circle to discuss the topic of what is marriage/union? Everyone had had time prior to our gathering to reflect on the question. Using a talking stick, so only one person at a time spoke, the discussion was rich, honest and at times, funny. Gayle McCosker, a dear friend... and celebrant, presented an acrostic quote that captured the essence of the discussions that night. MARRIAGE: Magical Adventure Requiring Ritual, Intimacy and Grace Every day. This was a wonderful, heart opening prelude to the ceremony the next day. If you are interested in our ceremony I included it in the eBook, Ceremonies for the Renewal of Vows. In whatever way the sharing of wisdom is expressed, it is an opportunity not to be missed and can be a platform for diverse ideas, new ways of seeing things and fresh inspiration as well as honouring the wise community that holds the couple and the family.
