Clean Eats From a Filthy Mouth | Brand

Clean Eats From a Filthy Mouth

Phone: +61 438 513 232

Add/Update information

Reviews

Tags

• Other
• Brand
• Website
• Health & wellness website

24.01.2022 Dinner for one. I call this masterpiece Dad is out tonight and Mum mopped the floors today so there’s no fucking way any of you little savages is eating indoors. Mum is also dog fucking tired. Not just Thursday tired, but December tired. The kind of tired where fucks haven’t run out for the day because the fuck bank was empty to start with. The kind of tired an early night won’t fix because it goes right to the DEPTHS OF MY SOUL (dramatic much, Katie?) . Histrionics aside, th...e point is that right now I’m running on empty, my modus operandi all about the least possible effort where possible - and I can tell you that there was very little effort that went into this meal. A metric fucktonne of greenery carefully selected on the basis of whatever the fuck is on the fridge, cherry tomatoes and capsicum to give the appearance I tried (I did not), and a thoroughly uncivilised amount of smoked salmon which, like bacon and cheese, has the magical ability to make anything gooder. Eaten alfresco to preserve my begrudging attempts at housework just a wee bit longer. . I know you probably come here for more exciting food inspiration than piling fish on leaves and calling it a salad and usually I’m happy to oblige, but my takeaway for you today is that sometimes basic as fuck is totally okay. Some days it’s all about self preservation, and if that means an actual takeaway for dinner instead of arsing about in the kitchen then that’s fucking fine too. It’s been a year friends and thank fucking glob it’s nearly over, right now I think it’s totally legit to do whatever it takes to limp over the finish line without beating ourselves up for not meeting our own, or anyone else expectations. . . . . #cleaneatsfromfilthymouth #dinnerforone #notonefuck #dogfuckingtired #bigarsesalad #fishonleaves #arewethereyet #getinthebin2020 See more

18.01.2022 First day Last day 2020. That’s a wrap on on Grade 1 for this big kid! . And what a weird-ass school year it was; 943 days of it spent at our kitchen table under the tutelage of a very bloody reluctant, moody, tearful teacher (me ). But despite the tears and tantrums (often me again ) and my wildly unqualified end emotionally unstable teaching efforts, she took it all in her stride and emerged smarter, stronger and sassier - although that last bit is probably st...andard for a seven-going-on-seventeen year old. . Well done Zippy Do, we did it, more importantly you did it! And may we never again utter the words ‘home school’. Now I’m off to buy that well deserving teacher a champagne or four (yup, that’s me again! ) . . . . . . #cleaneatsfromfilthymouth #schoolsout #endofyear #goodbyegradeone #mayweneverhomeschoolagain #mumlife #2020whatatrip See more

16.01.2022 Meat free Monday, but make it fahncy pants ploise. . There’s something about a meal made into a precariously balanced stack that makes me feel accomplished, in control, like I have my life together. . I do not. ... . At school pick up this afternoon I tried to wave and say hi to a Dad whilst eating a piece of cucumber. A simple combination of activities for a fully functioning, non-awkward adult, but not me. Instead I managed to get a piece of cucumber firmly stuck in my throat and had to throw myself over the back of my car to perform an odd auto-Heimlich maeuver to dislodge it while the poor stunned Dad watched on in horror. Smooth. . Needless to say I was a little more cautious about chewing my food and not making any sudden movements at dinner time. My tasty little towers were worth taking their time over though, in the stacks: giant mushroom, capsicum, fresh basil, halloumi and eggplant. All cooked in the air fryer because I’m efficient (read: lazy) like that. . . . . . #cleaneatsfromafilthymouth #meatfreemonday #squeakycheesestacks #justcallmesmooth #vegetarian #healthyeating #wholefoods #adultingishard See more

15.01.2022 First child: my children will eat paleo, home made, organic food, no sugary treats, no ridiculous babycinos, no screens until 3 years of age and then strictly educational content, wooden, Montessori toys only, none of those hideous plastic musical monstrosities. . Third child: could probably navigate the directions to @gelatomessina on her own, screams at me if I don’t share my latte dregs, is quite partial to dipping her finger in my champagne and will not allow anything exc...ept the Wiggles to feature on TV between 4-5pm. . I am certainly not the mother I thought I would be. I bet my kids are glad about that . . {apologies again to the nice man seated in the splash zone to the right of us who copped Phoebe’s ice cream in his lap, and to the very understanding lady to the left of us who suffered collateral damage when I retrieved it. Never a dull moment } . . . . . #cleaneatsfromafilthymouth #sundayritual #gelatoforlife #mumlife See more

13.01.2022 Nine days until Christmas, which mean it’s that time of year again. The time when I bestow my love and gratitude upon people far and wide in the form of fruit cake like a forceful festive-baking Oprah ‘YOU get a cake! And YOU get a cake! And YOU get a cake!’ . Our wonderful hardworking team of staff? Fruit cake. Fabulous friends who have made the year bearable? Fruit cake. You did something nice for me and I want to thank you? Fruit cake. ... Invite me to your house? Fruit cake Neighbours who can turn a deaf ear to fearl o’clock commotions over the fence? Fruit cake. You held a door open for me once when my arms were full of kids and groceries? I will hunt you down and give you a goddam fruit cake! . Of course there are those who tell me they don’t like fruit cake and I say (respectfully) don’t be fucking ridiculous you’re WRONG! It’s a hefty slab of fruit and chocolate held together with booze, what’s not to like? Here, have a cake, eat the cake! It’s aggressive gifting at its finest. If you see me coming your way with gift box in hand you better plaster on that smile and say ‘Oh wow, I love fruit cake!’. And if you are on the receiving end, please know that I want you to have cake because I care. . If you haven’t made a Christmas cake yet, it’s not too late to bang one in. If you’ve never made a Christmas cake you won’t find an easier, very nearly unfuckupable recipe than this one. I’ve gone for the casual shabby chic style of decorating (aka slap up) feat. drizzled white and dark chocolate, nuts and cranberries but you could ice it or craft a nifty pattern with nuts if you have more fucks to spare than me. Find it on my website under Drunken Fruitcake. . . . . #cleaneatsfromafilthymouth #fruitcake #christmascake #christmascountdown #agressivegifting #everyonelovescake #cakeforall #yougetacakeyougetacakeuyougetacake

09.01.2022 Chops! Buddy Boy Baxter! My beautiful, big hearted boy! How are you off to school already? . The delicious, decadently chubby chops are gone but the cheeky remains in spades along with the sweetest, most sensitive little soul. You are smart, funny and kind and wise beyond your years. I’ll miss our Mum and Baxter (and Phoebe Bunny) days and my brain scrambling to keep up as I’m bombarded with random pieces of information all day long, but lawdy you are READY! (And I do mean ...that literally. Doesn’t actually start until the end of January next year but is already wearing his uniform and carrying his giant backpack everywhere). Maybe six weeks of traipsing around with that hefty sucker banging on your ankles all day might build up some bulk so you don’t look so teeny and break my heart trotting through the gates next year to take on prep. And the world. . And bloody hell you will. But first let me enjoy the last summer of soaking up the snuggles while you’re still my little man and you still think I know everything. . . . . . #cleaneatsfromafilthymouth #byebyekindy #movingonup #notgonnacry #totallygonnacry #mumlife #boymum #fuckyouwillmakesomeoneagoodhusbandoneday See more