Clean Slate Counselling in Lismore, New South Wales | Marriage therapist

Clean Slate Counselling

Locality: Lismore, New South Wales

Phone: +61 414 764 515

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• Medical and health
• Mental health service
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• Marriage therapist

22.01.2022 Clean Slate Counselling is on holiday - making time for wellness! Back in the office on Tuesday October 6

22.01.2022 A lovely gesture that would help mitigate to a degree the disenfranchised grief we feel when we have a miscarriage.

20.01.2022 Teachings on Grief. I would like to tell you a story about when my father went to the spirit world. My mother was 16 and my father 17 when they married. They we...re young enough to make life absolute fun. In many ways, we all grew up together. Love was always a vibrant energy flowing throughout our household. Our parents managed to feed us by gardening, gathering wild roots, vegetables, hunting, fishing, and trapping. One day, tragically, my father accidentally died while out hunting; and just like that, my mother became a widow at the age of 24. She was a single young mother in charge of raising 4 children. My mother’s best friend Eva arrived the night my father died and did not leave my mother’s side for three months. She was so often at our home that we naturally called her Auntie. She was one of the kindest women that I have ever known. We loved her and there was no doubt in our minds that she absolutely loved and adored us as well. During the first weeks after our father’s death, it was Auntie Eva who comforted us. It was Auntie Eva who fed us, cleaned, and dressed us. It was her that kept our home warm as the pain of grief griped its cold hands around our house. It was Auntie Eva who helped us to mend our broken hearts. In the first days after my father passed, every memory of my father caused my poor mother excruciating pain. One day, she opened a cupboard and absently reached out for a cup and pulled out my father’ favourite cup. She looked at his cup and the sight of it caused her to sink to her knees. She let out a violent scream. It was clearly visible, that her emotional pain turned into debilitating physical pain. Consumed by grief, all she could do was rock. Her scream turned into desperate, pitiful and heart-wrenching cries. I felt as though someone took a knife and violently lashed out at me. I felt a sharp pierce of emotional pain, cut all the way down to my bones. I too missed my father with every fibre of my being and my pain joined hers. Witnessing my mother suffering; made me feel as if my father died all over again. In a desperate attempt to escape her mind’s cruelty, my mother took to her bed and stayed there for nearly two full weeks. She completely stopped functioning. It was as if she had simply made a choice to check out of life. During those days, my Auntie Eva nursed my mother with gentleness and care as one would do with a highly respected Elder. At the same time, Auntie Eva she cared for us, as if we were her own. The day before the second week of my mother’s bed rest, she instructed us to join her in my mother’s room. She gently requested that we stay still to pay attention, sit quietly, as she was to share a teaching on grief. Her teaching helped me to view grief in a completely different light. As Auntie Eva motioned us into my mother’s bedroom, I noticed that sitting on the floor sat a buffalo robe. On top of the robe, sat fresh pail of well-water, a basin of water, a clean face cloth, towel and a small tin cup. I smelled the healing smell of sweetgrass which was burning in a small cast iron pan, which was also on the robe. I strained to see the top of the bed and I could see my mother’s face. She was staring vacantly upward, as a steady stream of tears flowed downward. I could tell that she did not even notice our presence. Even at that young age, I had no doubt in my mind that my mother had forever changed. I was truly frightened for the first time in my life. I wondered what would happen to us. At that moment, Auntie Eva looked towards us with compassion and love. We responded with quiet curiosity. She reached out and took my mother's hand in hers and tenderly squeezed it. My Auntie Eva began speaking softly, she told us how her câpân (kokum/great-grandmother) talked about how our Ancestors handled grief before the coming of the settlers. She shared, that long ago that when someone died, like today, their relatives experience intensely painful emotions. However, our Ancestors also possessed wonderful knowledge and wisdom about life. They knew that all of us arrived on Mother Earth from the spirit world with our spirit intact. She told us, that means that every person alive has a spiritual being dwelling within our bodies. Our spirit can be felt through our emotions. We demonstrate our feelings in our ability to love and capacity to receive love. Our spirit expresses itself through our self-talk. We are most aware of it when we pay attention to our intuition. She explained, ‘you know when you feel good because you listened to the little voice telling you to do the right thing that is our intuition. Our spirit also comes alive in laughter, joy; and yes darlings, even pain. Our spirit is eternal; it lives forever. This what I mean when I say that we are born into this world, our spirit comes along with us and never ever leaves us. This means that we remain a spiritual being. Our physical body is a vessel that carries a soul within it. We were born into the world to make a positive difference. To leave the world a better place. However, like any other journey that we take, we eventually reach our destination.’ Auntie Eva told us that one day, when we have done our jobs of making a positive difference in this world, we return to the spirit world. My own sweet mother told me that when we were born, Creator whispered a special secret into our heart. Although we don’t know where or how our journey will end; the secret helps us to choose how we live our journey with the time given us. Still, when the journey ends, it feels abrupt and it causes pain for those left behind. Auntie Eva shared that when someone dies so young, not one person on Mother Earth can explain why. She believed that it was because we all feel that they left when they had so much more to teach. I recall her saying, ‘I admit that every time I cry, I question why one's life is cut so short. I call out, ‘Creator, why? Why would you take someone so young?’ With healing and time, I can see the difference that this young person made in the lives of others. Sometimes the teachings include an awakening. Their short life shows us just how brief life is. Sometimes their passing helps people band together for a common purpose to create positive change. It was as if the young person wakes sleeping giants.’ Auntie Eva continued, ‘my dearest ones, I can tell you that I never saw someone love his physical journey more than your father did. I witnessed his love of life. He lived every moment to the fullest. I remember when your mother said she was marrying him and saying to her, ‘but you’re only 16, are you sure?’ When she looked into my eyes, I could see that there was no doubt. I knew then, your father was the love of her life. She made the right choice. When you all came into the world, oh, my dear sweet children, how your father rejoiced. But I need not tell you how much he loved you; he showed it to each and every one of you.’ I remember seeing that as Auntie Eva spoke, every now and then she would squeeze my mother's hand and with her other hand, she wiped away tears with a facecloth that now freely flowed from her face. With every touch of her hand, I witnessed love’s touch. Afterward, she dried my mother’s face with a towel, and then she had her drink cold water from the cup. She continued her story, ‘my câpân told us how our Ancestors mark the passing of loved one. In the old days, those closest to the deceased would cut their hair. Hair is important to our people; it represents a part of our spiritual strength. However, when we cut it when our loved one dies, it doesn’t mean we lose our strength. Instead, it just means that we are sacrificing part of ourselves in honour of our loved one. We are letting them know that their presence in our life was part of what made us strong. As our hair grows again, we rebuild our lives. Meaning as our hair grows back with each passing day; we find a way to redefine our new normal. Grief completely changes our life. My câpân also said that our Ancestors believed that in the entire first year after a person went the spirit world, those left behind grieve in such a way that it can seem like they have gone mad. That means that whenever you feel like crying, need time to be alone, have intense emotions, even anger, you don’t have to feel bad about it. When people know about this teaching, they give you the space to mourn and grieve. They respect the fact that you are openly demonstrating love for the one who went to the spirit world.’ Just as my Auntie Eva finished this statement, I could see that the vacant look in my mother’s eyes being replaced with a thoughtful one. I could feel my father’s presence as Auntie Eva spoke her next sentence, ‘the most beautiful thing about our ceremonies is that our Ancestors are always present. They let us know that there is but a tiny thin vapour of mist between the spirit and physical world and that love travels freely from one side to the next.’ After my Auntie wiped my mother's tears, she moved to the front room and with a clean cloth, towel and cup for each of us, she went through the ceremony with us. Afterwards, I recall feeling as if I could breathe again. The very next day, my mother left her room. I could see that her once long flowing hair was cut to just above her shoulders. Out of nowhere, a red robin gently floated to sit on the window sill. It remained there as if observing the activities of our home. My mother noticed the robin and it was the first time she smiled since my father’s passing. She whispered to me that her kokum (grandmother) told her that the robin is comforter. It arrives to help people in the grieving time. It holds the spirit of the person who passed on, it is a message to let us know that they are at peace. Her words were like a huge hug that wrapped my heart in love. My Auntie Eva’s words were true, in that first year; our family mourned. We cried, we were angry, we spent time alone, sometimes we just sat together, and sometimes, we huddled on the floor crying while holding one another. We spent a lot of time in the sweat lodge that year and it was there as I lay down with my head upon Mother Earth, I could feel my father’s love surround me as he embraced me from the spirit world. Afterwards, I notice a robin sitting quietly observing us. Their message of love embraced us all. When Auntie Eva’s husband made his way to the spirit world, it was my mother turn to sit with her as she cut her hair. It was her turn to care for her best friend. When my mother died, Auntie Eva retold us the teaching of grief as we mourned. She held our hands as we cut our hair. The deep and abiding love of friendship. Fifty-eight years after my father died, my Auntie Eva went to the spirit world and we grieved her through ceremony. Once again a robin came to sit with us and we knew its presence was meant to reassurance and comfort us. My Auntie Eva's words following my mothers death, now helped me grieve her death, she said, 'my girl, out of the deepest grief, the most profound love blossoms and healing grows'. I believe that with all my heart and soul. Kkithaw niwkomkanak (All My Relations), Kihci Têpakohp Iskotêw Iskwêw (Emily Jane Henry) Original Home Territory: Ochapowace Cree Nation Art by talented Pam Cailloux. See more

18.01.2022 Coercive control

16.01.2022 Have you heard about the Tapping technique? It’s a scientifically proven technique that works to rewire the brain by sending calming signals to the amygdala, ...the stress center of the brain, allowing both the body and brain to release limitations from negative experiences, emotions, thoughts and much more that hold us back from creating the life we want. Most people don’t realize how big of an impact chronic stress has on their life. It effects their health, their ability to think clearly, and their ability to be happy and to create the life they want. It doesn’t have to be this way though! The Tapping Solution App will you give access to free Tapping Meditations that can guide you to release any stress, anxiety, overwhelm or other negative emotions you may be feeling in minutes. Download the app now to try for yourself.

16.01.2022 Girls usually end up showing different traits than guys do. Which is why it can take us years to get diagnosed. I was 15 when I got diagnosed and that's conside...red early for a girl." She also explains that girls often are diagnosed later because they are better at hiding autistic behaviors. "This is something we call masking. Masking is basically just being like a really good actor. It's where you take traits that everyone else is showing and start portraying them as yourself. It's like a lot of copying going on. ... In your mind you don't think you're copying. You think that this is normal and everyone feels the same way you do. You basically feel like an alien and you're really good at hiding that. Which is why I don't seem autistic." @paigelayle no such thing as high/ low functioning autism!!! it's just how YOU perceive us. not about how we're affected. ##feature##featureme##fup##fyp original sound - paigelayle In part two, she discusses the idea of being high-functioning. "Get high-functioning and low functioning out of your vocabulary. It doesn't help anybody. I know you may think that saying 'Oh like you're high-functioning' is compliment. It's not a compliment. It's also like a reminder that I'm just masking, and it's so hard. Masking is the most exhausting thing in the world... 'High-functioning' is basically a label that you can use to be like 'Your autism doesn't affect me that much.' But I'll tell you that everyone you think is high-functioning is greatly affected by their autism." @paigelayle more on special interests later ##feature##autism##fyp##fyp##featureme original sound - paigelayle In part three, Paige discusses common autistic traits that girls have. "I am overly social. I give way too much eye contact. I'm really good in social situations. It's also very common for girls with autism to have other mental disabilities or mental disorders as well. I have seven and one of the main ones is OCD. All of these mental illnesses stem from having autism. But OCD, anxiety, and depression are very common, especially in girls. Just the feeling that the world needs rules for you to understand it. That's why a lot of autism special interests include things like anatomy, the human body, psychology, just figuring out how the world works is our way to figure out how to live in it." @paigelayle ahhh masking. can't live with you, can't live without you. ##feature##fup##fyp##featureme##autism original sound - paigelayle In part four, Paige discusses the topic of masking. "When you're in the autistic closet and you are not known to be autistic yet ... you like subconsciously know that you're weird and you don't know how to act or how to be. It's like the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you wear your hair, like your mannerisms. Like everything you say. Everything you think. Everything you think that you enjoy. It's all what you are accustomed to from your peers. I've been diagnosed for four years and I'm still trying to figure out who I am and what I actually like to do. You just get to used to creating this mask that when it's like 'Hey, you can take it off,' It's like what the frick is underneath it? I don't know what's going on." Link: https://www.google.com.au//teenage-tiktoker-creates-eye-op

13.01.2022 Chores for a Cause - an excellent initiative raising money for my friend’s wonderful organisation

13.01.2022 Wow what a woman. Thanks for posting Cathryn McKenzie

12.01.2022 Words by Anthony Hopkins... "Let go of people who aren't ready to love you yet. This is the hardest thing you'll have to do in your life and it will also be th...e most important thing. Stop giving your love to those who aren't ready to love or appreciate you yet. Stop conversations with people who don't want to change. Stop showing up for and showing care for people who are indifferent to your presence, who display temperamental emotions, who show disrespect or block you out and keep you at bay, despite your best efforts. I know your instincts attempt everything to win the good mercy of those around you, but it's also this impulse that will steal your time, energy and mental, physical and spiritual health. When you start being yourself in your lifecompletely, with joy, interest and commitmentnot everyone will be ready to find you in this place of pure sincerity. That doesn't mean that you have to change who you are; or play yourself down to suit the judgements projected onto you by those who do not care. It just means you have to stop bothering with people who don't want to love you yet. The truth is that you're not for everyone. And that not everyone is for you. The most valuable and most important thing you have in your life is your energy. When you realize this, you start to understand why you become impatient with people who don't suit you, and in activities, places, situations which don't suit you. You're starting to realize that the most important thing you can do for your life, for yourself and for everyone you know, is to protect your energy stronger than anything. Turn your life into a safe sanctuary where only people who are truly compatible with you are allowed. It's not your job to exist for people and give them your life, little by little, moment after moment. Decide you deserve only true and equitable friendship. Then take a moment to notice how things are beginning to change."

12.01.2022 What an excellent initiative

11.01.2022 After four fabulous years at the Goulburn Health Hub, Clean Slate Counselling has moved to the Goulburn Club. A big thank you to Sophie and Sartaj for helping me to establish my business in Goulburn - I am forever grateful

11.01.2022 Clean Slate Counselling is open for business! A huge thank you to Jannine and Ed Zammit from Peter Mylonas Property Solutions for making the process so seamless, SignageOne for my gorgeous sign, the great folks at the Goulburn Club, my lovely friends Jake Annetts and Angela Hunter and my very patient son Fred for helping me move

10.01.2022 Thanks for posting Marcelle Lunam

09.01.2022 Be kind to yourself.

08.01.2022 Today, Women's Safety NSW has launched a campaign to criminalise coercive control. Coercive control is often experienced by both adult and child victim-survivo...rs of domestic and family violence as the most damaging and dangerous element of the abuse they have endured. Now is the most important time to use your voice to encourage real and substantive change to end gendered violence in our homes and communities. Over the summer, we will be posting various ways you can help criminalise coercive control in NSW. One thing you can do now is: send your local MP letter to criminalise coercive control by the link below https://peak.good.do/criminalisecoercivecontrol/

08.01.2022 When things go wrong, we think everything is over but truly it is just a new beginning.

01.01.2022 Every child deserves a champion