Codependents Anonymous Brisbane | Community group

Codependents Anonymous Brisbane

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25.01.2022 December 24 In This Moment, my family gets along. ... It really hurts to have my children act like strangers with each other, especially since their children love playing together. Once I tried to mend fences, but it backfired and everyone was angry with me. I have learned through CoDA to let things happen in God’s time. Tonight, on Christmas Eve, I walked into my son’s house and found his brother and him playing pool together; their wives were chatting away with my daughter. All nine of my grandchildren were tearing around the house, so excited to see each other again. That was the best Christmas present ever! Thank you, God.

25.01.2022 December 21 In This Moment, I look within. ... Whenever I feel disturbed, no matter what the cause, I blame myself. I am a fear-based, shame-based codependent. Sometimes, I’m afraid there won’t be enough (money, material goods, love) to go around. At other times, I feel shame, as if I’m about to be found out (that I’m not smart enough, sexy enough, or young enough). My feelings erupt as jealousy, anger, self-pity, and self-loathing. At all costs, I avoid looking within. Instead, I blame others. In CoDA recovery, I’m learning to take my own inventory. I look at my behaviors by journaling, working with my sponsor, and attending meetings. I gain insight and am willing to change.

24.01.2022 December 23 In This Moment, I am thinking about the upcoming holidays. ... What better gift could I give someone than a gift of myself? Yet, how do I, as a codependent in recovery, accomplish this without compromising my own or another’s boundaries? I need to ensure that I am giving freely, without expectations. For example, I call a friend to let her know I am thinking about her or volunteer for a cause I believe in, even though my time is extremely limited. Before I act, I pay attention to any inner rumblings of discontent to avoid later feelings of resentment or regret. This holiday season, the most meaningful gift I can give my family is to continue working my recovery program.

24.01.2022 December 15 In This Moment, I take responsibility. ... I was accused of a wrongdoing that I did not commit. In the past, I would have felt angry but stuffed it down for fear of the other person’s response. I might have spiraled into self-doubt and guilt, groveled for forgiveness, and resented that person. Today, I don’t feel guilty if I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m sorry the other person misunderstood me, but I know his feelings are his own. I take responsibility only for my feelings. CoDA recovery teaches me I’m powerless over others.

20.01.2022 December 26 In This Moment, I see the humor in my recovery. ... There was a time in my life, when I felt so deeply depressed, and in such pain, that I thought the hurt would never end. I have learned that, This too, shall pass. Laughing helps to open my heart. I feel lighter in the world, instead of feeling so burdened with responsibility. I use humor appropriately, instead of deflecting or avoiding my real feelings. My Higher Power has a fantastic sense of humor. When I allow myself to experience it fully, I see the joy in situations. My laughter is full and genuine.

20.01.2022 December 22 In This Moment, I have shortcomings. ... I criticize my husband’s driving. I indulge in self-pity. I hide. I’m envious. I settle for too little. Why am I not entirely ready for God to remove my shortcomings? What prevents me from asking God to remove them? Am I afraid of having my life changed? Yes, I dread change. I feel dejected and stuck in a rut, but it’s such a familiar rut. So I skip over or trip on Steps Six and Seven. Higher Power, I need help to become entirely ready. Please, help me to reach out and expand my life. Help me to overcome my raging codependency.

19.01.2022 December 27 In This Moment, love finds me. I kept praying for my Higher Power to bring me love. Today, while I was sitting on the couch, my kitten climbed my leg looking to play and receive affection. I realized, in that moment, that love comes in many shapes and forms. God, help me keep my eyes open for all gifts of love.

17.01.2022 December 25 In This Moment, it’s OK to feel feelings. ... My children have been questioning the existence of Santa Claus for some time. I feared they’d be disappointed by the truth and that I would feel badly for hurting them. I realized that I was only postponing the inevitable by stalling. In recovery, I’ve learned that I need to allow myself and others to hear the truth and feel appropriate feelings in order to experience life fully. I decided to tell them that I was indeed Santa Claus and was surprised to see that it was no big deal for them. They just wanted to know the truth.

15.01.2022 December 20 In This Moment, I give by choice. ... I can only give genuine service when I give freely, by my own choice. If I can only give a little sometimes, that’s OK. I cannot give what I do not have. In recovery, I’m aware that I need time to relax, play, pray, and meditate to go back to the spiritual well and fill my soul. Then, I can give to others out of a feeling of fullness, nurturing, and love, instead of resentment and obligation. I help others more when I first help and love myself.

14.01.2022 December 16 In This Moment, I want a healthy relationship. ... I fall in love with the silent ones and dream dreams they know nothing about. I want a healthy, loving relationship with a man to whom I can say anything and who feels the freedom to do the same. It sounds fine, but I still choose men with whom I do not feel equal and then try to pretend we’re on the same wavelength. By continuing to grow in the CoDA program, I may attract a man who is compatible in most ways, someone with whom I can be my authentic self. Meanwhile, I work my program and pray for knowledge of God’s will for my life.

09.01.2022 December 28 In This Moment, I believe. ... Just for today: I believe in myself. I’m honest with myself and others. I’m responsible for my actions. Just for today: I love myself. I am enough. I let go of what I cannot control. I let others own their own stuff. Just for today: God is in control. I’m on the right path. Life is good

07.01.2022 December 17 In This Moment, my heart is broken. ... I’ve done it again. I’ve fallen in love with a man who just wants friendship. Why can’t I accept that? Why do I want more? I can’t change another; I can only change myself. I need to let go of expectations. I’m sad, but I know I’m still somebody even when nobody loves me. I have the love of friends and family members, and most importantly, I’m learning to love myself. That’s enough to keep me afloat as my heart mends.

07.01.2022 December 18 In This Moment, I have no regrets. ... I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. I wasn’t the perfect wife, mother, or employee. I lost marriages, jobs, kids. When I walked into my first CoDA meeting, I was pretty low. It took me a long time to accept my past. My experiences are my teachers. The Fourth Promise is true for me today: I release myself from worry, guilt, and regret about my past and present. I am aware enough not to repeat it.

01.01.2022 December 19 In This Moment, I sit amid the chaos of my clutter. ... As usual, the desk is littered with papers. So is the floor. As I glance around, I realize that I need to find a home for a bunch of stuff. I took a workshop on how to de-clutter, but threw away the handouts, knowing they’d become clutter if I let them stay around. Is there a spiritual dimension to this problem? I feel powerless over my clutter. I struggle to create order in disorder. I share about this issue with friends in recovery and know I’m not alone. I humbly ask my Higher Power to remove this shortcoming. I can make amends to my spouse and myself, one day at a time, if I put things away and throw things away. I need to work at it and it works when I work it.