Conscious Directions | Professional service
Conscious Directions
Address: 149 Grays Lane 2481 Myocum, NSW, Australia
Website: https://www.consciousdirections.com.au/contact-conscious-directions?fbclid=IwAR39NmSuGjbfeM0uE7oocUobwhrIIrU5uUZf2si-tly1ffLktvQ0mdDjpP4
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22.01.2022 Listening? In my experience of working with couples I find that very often the need to be heard, is a need that is not met in a way that builds connection, trust and love. There are a few reasons why listening does not happen in the most helpful way:... 1. It's easy to hold assumptions that I believe I know what my partner is thinking or feeling. 2. I really want to be doing something else, something that matters to me. 3. If I'm feeling hurt, angry, righteous or defensive then I'm not likely to bring my authentic listening. (How often do I pretend to listen?) 4. Holding onto blame thoughts about my partner. 5. Something in me enjoys the drama of discontent that comes with disconnection. 6. When my own thoughts are more interesting. (ha ha ha) I've found through my own experience that making an effort to bring my authentic listening does create the connection and relationship that I long for. I'm curious, are you aware of any other reasons that you are not interested in listening? If listening is something you want to get better at have a look at our upcoming workshop in Melbourne. Image by Rawpixel from unsplash.com
19.01.2022 I noticed a hot tension at the back of my neck and the muscles feeling really tight. It felt like it started in the kidney area and was flooding up the spine to the neck. I have become more aware as I've learned to listen to my body, that these sensations are a stress response. I've been learning more recently about how trauma in childhood affects our nervous system. The sensations in my neck came as a result of a work situation, but its origins were based in my childhood ex...perience of being out of my depth at an intellectual level. From an external view point it might appear that the work situation was nothing more than a mistake to be fixed, but in my inner world it stimulated a trauma response. I think it is far to say that once upon a time I would have completely overridden these rather painful feelings by ignoring, denying or distracting myself. I no longer want to keep using these strategies. I want to cultivate capacity to stay Present to the experience and pay attention to the wisdom of the body wanting to heal itself. Image by Noah Buscher of unsplash.com
14.01.2022 I'm excited to be co-facilitating this Compassionate Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Foundation Training in Perth on 11th & 12th January 2020 with Tina Schmitt a Certified Trainer from Germany. We met in 2018 at a Bali NVC event, connected... and here we are...more than 20 years of sharing NVC between us. It will be a very rich learning and growing experience. This event is for anyone who wants more love and connection in relationships and friendships. Please share it.
11.01.2022 Bringing Presence brings Healing - I want to share with you something I've intuitively felt for sometime, but which has recently been confirmed in an online seminar I've been attending. The speakers, all experts in the field of trauma, now say that bringing Presence to our bodies and the people around us, helps support the healing of trauma by calming our nervous system. Read more in our latest newsletter here. https://mailchi.mp/c88f4bd/bringing-presence-brings-healing
08.01.2022 Do you withdraw when a conflict with another person becomes too intense? I've learned that sometimes when I withdraw I am really withdrawing from my willingness to feel the discomfort of the experience. Sometimes it feels like a good idea for self protection by setting a boundary and sometimes I can be avoiding what needs to be faced for growth and learning to continue. Do you sometimes withdraw in this situation?
06.01.2022 I'm looking forward to coming to Melbourne at the end of this month to offer the two day NVC Foundation Training in Hawthorn. If you have been thinking about taking this training or have a friend/family member that you would like to bring along, please click on the event below to book your tickets. I like to keep numbers to a small group so please don't hesitate to book soon. The early bird price ends on c.o.b Friday 15th March. If you have any questions or requests regarding this training you can send me a PM via Facebook or email me at [email protected].
04.01.2022 I love the work of Sonia Ricci in offering NVC into her local prison and transforming the lives of some of the men - giving them a rare experience of safety in being heard.
04.01.2022 In my experience, the comfort in the known is a very powerful magnet against the freedom in the unknown.
03.01.2022 I'm excited to be travelling to Darwin for a Relating to Connect NVC Foundation Training on 24th/25th November. If you know of anyone in Darwin that would like to attend this training please share the FB Event details below. Thanks for your support.
02.01.2022 Do you find yourself caught in expectations in relationship? A forthcoming celebration that you feel excited about, or your partner responding to some news you can't wait to share? Perhaps you can think of your own example? Well I found myself caught in expectations around the celebration of our anniversary last weekend, and boy, did I create some suffering for myself because of it. Let me share a little of how it played out: We had agreed to go out to a celebratory dinner ...on Saturday night early last week. Alistair said he would book the restaurant. On Friday I asked him if he had made the booking and when I heard he hadn't I reacted. Yep... the critical voice jumped in and before I knew it I was speaking my anger and disappointment for things not going the way I THOUGHT they should. At the same time another part of me was saying to myself: "No... don't do this, you will spoil everything!". Too late, the damage was done. Does this sound familiar? Do you ask yourself how do I repair the damage? How do I get back to where we were 5, 10, 60 minutes ago? How do I recreate connection, which is all I really wanted in the first place? Well I too was asking myself these questions last Friday night. After I had calmed down and realised I was reacting from fear of missing out, projecting 'shoulds', living from old male/female conditioning, and dumping a bucket load of expectations on Alistair, I was able to see the entanglement that was running the show. Slowly I began to unpick the mess I'd created, strand by strand, with the aid of some radical honesty and compassion towards myself and Alistair. The key came when I connected to the embodied tension I was holding, realising I was being called to be vulnerable. At this point everything started to release... both in myself and with Alistair. We felt our bodies shift. As uncomfortable as it was for a time; slowing it down, taking some deep breaths, leaning into, expressing from and staying with the vulnerability I was experiencing in my body and awareness, gave me/us the repair and return to loving connection I/we were seeking. Melinda ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ If you would like to learn more about conscious relationship we offer a 'Loving Together for Couples - One Day Intensive' where together we dive into the heart of how you can create a more successful and intimate connection together. It will include discussion and practical exercises, and of course is totally focused on one-on-one care and support. More details here: https://www.consciousdirections.com.au/intimate-relationshi Image by Fredrick Ohlander from unsplash.com
01.01.2022 This quote made me laugh. Type 'yes' if you can relate to this. :-)
