Counsellors On Call in Tuggerah, New South Wales, Australia | Local service

Counsellors On Call

Locality: Tuggerah, New South Wales, Australia

Phone: +61 438 291 874

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22.01.2022 We have reached 300 likes on our page! Thank you for taking the time to read, and listen, to our posts and videos. We truly appreciate your comments and feedback.

19.01.2022 THE IMPACT OF TRAUMA Last week Friday I had the opportunity and privilege to deliver a talk on the impact of individual trauma on our emotional well-being, and our relationships, with veterans at the Ourimbah RSL here on the NSW Central Coast. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all involved for their interest, participation, and warm welcome. We covered many areas on this very important topic, and I will share briefly on the definition, questions and knowledge we... discussed. My best understanding of the definition of trauma would be trauma is a human experience; a wounding of our body, psyche, emotions, spirit, will to live, belief about ourselves, and our sense of security in the world. The trauma experience brings a personal crisis, and we ask two questions: Is this it? Will I survive? We need to pay attention to the emotional experiences of anger, despair, helplessness, hopelessness, and the accumulation of grief, which could lead to hyper-vigilance, anxiety and depressive symptoms. Generally, anxiety alerts us to a perceived internal or external threat, or fear of the future. When we’ve experienced trauma, anxiety comes from an automatic physiological response; the threat is not perceived, it has already happened and our very being has lived through it. There are many strategies we can utilize when managing general anxiety such as general grounding techniques, meditation and mindfulness which creates awareness. However, trauma survivors do not need more awareness, they need safety and security. As much as the trauma experience brings us to face a crisis, it also provides an opportunity. The opportunity to develop our strength, endurance, resilience, compassion, empathy and courage. The important question we ask here is: How can I use this experience to contribute to me, rather than injure me? The more we learn about our own trauma experience/s, and understand anxiety and depression are often the consequence of trauma, the better we become at managing our emotions, and our lives. Not only do we heal in the relationship with ourselves, but also the relationships with those we love and love us. Sandra Bowden

18.01.2022 LOVE IS A GIFT When we love another out of a place of fear and dependency it has more to do with self-love than loving another. The purest form of love isn’t about what another can give us because we are empty, rather it is what we can give another because we are already full. Love people for who they are, and not who we expect them to be, or think they should be. This form of expectation breeds disappointment, and leaves us all feeling undermined, undervalued, often resentful, hurt and isolated. When we pull our love back when we don’t get what we want, it becomes a trade-off instead of a gift.

15.01.2022 WHEN FAMILY HURTS There is a deep need in all of us to belong, to be part of people we can call home. Generally, ‘home’ is our family, those individuals we are connected to by blood. Within a good enough family, we are supported, loved, protected, comforted, and celebrated. There is an experience of reliability and dependability within this unit of family. But what happens when this is not our experience? When our family unit hurts? When we are deserted and manipulated. When ...Continue reading

13.01.2022 THE WOMEN WE CALL OUR MOTHERS Most of us are aware it is Mother’s Day on Sunday; it is certainly advertised everywhere! It is a time to celebrate those beautiful, deserving women, we call our mothers, who have been a source of support, encouragement, comfort, protection and unconditional love. ... Not all of us have this experience of a mother, and there are certainly many conversations about mothers in the counselling room, and the impact our mothers, and we as mothers have on our children. Some of us hit the jackpot and have mothers who are remarkable individuals. They are by no means perfect, they make mistakes at different moments in their lives, but it is not an ongoing destructive pattern. They protect without undermining, they nurture in a way which allows us to become emotionally resilient and independent, they don’t solve our problems for us, but allows us the meaningful process to sort out our own issues, and they don’t do for us what we can do for ourselves. Many of us have different experiences in our mothering. Those of us, like me, who had a remarkable mother, plagued by depression and alcoholism, had to survive her. Rather than protect me, she made me stronger, instead of making me less afraid, she made me braver by showing me the world is not a safe place, and I needed to learn to take apart the things I am afraid of, because I am tougher than I think I am. So, let us consider and appreciate the women we call our mothers and the lessons they have brought into our lives. When we have trouble understanding who they are, and what they have done or not done, listen, ask them to help us understand, and don’t put them on trial because they challenge what we would like to believe about mothering and motherhood. It is here where hope and healing begin for us all. Happy Mother’s Day!

08.01.2022 THE REWARD OF CONSIDERING DIVORCE As a counsellor I am acutely aware, not every marriage can be saved. When a lady in her early 50’s made an appointment for herself, and her husband, to discuss the end of their marriage, I prepared the process I would take them through, to dismantle 22 years together. ASSESSMENT SESSION...Continue reading

08.01.2022 Understanding Post Abortion Grief https://youtu.be/TYhDI-NDwFo

05.01.2022 RELATIONSHIPS MATTER The single most influential experience in our lives are our relationships with our loved ones. Our psychological and emotional development depends on the quality of these relationships. It remains one of our deepest desires and are central to our lives. Think about an individual/person who has, or still does have a significant impact on your life, and the direction your life has taken? - Do they understand their responsibility? ... - Have they taken accountability? - Do they listen, and allow you to be heard? - Are they selfless rather than selfish? - Are they authentic what they say and do is the same? - Are they aware of and interested in your needs? - Do they turn towards you, away from you, against you? See more

03.01.2022 The impact of family relationships.

02.01.2022 MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS 5 Key Factors which led to a successful relationship A few years ago, a mother presented in my counseling room very concerned about her relationship with her young adolescent daughter at the time. She clearly valued a relationship with her daughter, and was concerned no matter how she tried to connect, how she communicated, it wasn't building their relationship. It appeared her daughter withdrew from her more and more as the days, weeks, and months went ...Continue reading