Daya Clarity | Coach

Daya Clarity

Phone: +61 427 423 439

Add/Update information

Reviews

Tags

• Businesses
• Sport & recreation
• Coach
• Sport & fitness instruction

25.01.2022 False high v's Deep knowing. I can't help but wonder instead of some of us feeling like we have to "rise" and "excel" in our energy maybe we are actually needing to "pull down" and "in" and "deepen" into our energy more. I used to live in this "false high" place before I was introduced to personal development and introduced to "the real Jarna".... Yes I was a real human before but I wasn't really being myself. I was pretending to be lots of others versions of myself that I felt the world needed me to or that it felt safe to be. I was constantly living in this false high constantly living in a world of comparison and not enoughness. Years ago I recognized this "false high" in a woman I used to work with, she would go to this place that was sooooo over the top and intense and disconnected from who she really was, but when she was centred and in her body and giving herself permission to take up space in this womanly way she was so fucking powerful and influential. I was fascinated in her behaviour and it really made me have a look at where I was living in a "false high" instead of embracing my "deep knowing". It took a while for people to adjust and even for myself to become comfortable with this deeper more intense version of myself but over time it was obvious that this woman knew her shit and how to make herself happy and feel calm and present with herself and others. So I want to ask today if their is version of you that keeps giving you in this "false high" and this kind of "hangover" after you be this version of yourself. I find when I am with my "deep knowing" I don't get a hangover from her, I don't question her and who she is and I don't try and ever make her something she is not for external recognition. It's ok for people to be uncomfortable with your depth but it's not ok for you to be uncomfortable with your depth. And It doesn't mean you don't feel bliss and joy and happiness at high levels. It just means you don't pretend to be someone you are not, the "false high you", for external validation or any validation. Don't be afraid of this version of you, she is so bloody amazing and powerful. Trust me.

25.01.2022 Today I was invited to declare my future in my mastermind group, but I feel like declaring it in here feels way more uncomfortable to me but I am pretty sure thats the point. @helle_weston? I am not sure exactly what my future will look like but my declaration is I am going to be a writer, I am going to be a published author and my writing will fill peoples souls, bringing them home to themselves word by word, page by page. I will write and I will speak, on big stages all o...ver the world and in tiny little book shops where only 20 people can squeeze. When I speak I will cry/laugh and when they listen they will cry/laugh too, and they will be happy tears and sad tears and every other kind of tear that has ever leaked out your eyes. I don't need to know details yet but I do need to know that I believe that I can, which is why I am sharing this big beautiful bold declaration here with you. It's scary to lay claim to what we want, especially when it feels so big. But I feel this in every ounce of my being, and I trust that knowing of myself. And as per all my declarations I want to live my life with shiny eyes and a warm loving acceptance for what is and what will be. Anything is possible if we believe it is. I will keep taking up the space and keep sharing and showing all of me to all of you. We can all be magic makers if we want to, if we are brave enough to claim what we want. What do you declare in your journal that you would never declare out loud? That my beautiful isbyhe very thing that the world is waiting for you to do, don't keep that to yourself, let us in and let it out. We can do it together. The universe is ready and waiting, just claim it.

24.01.2022 Mine would be the fact that I left out "you"

24.01.2022 In May I wrote a post about how I went for a 11km run, I normally do 6km but I had been feeling really slow and tiered and my runs were getting harder and harder so I decided to "push myself". Half way through I got a headache, a really bad one, but I had already made a plan in my head what time I wanted to run this run in and I didn't want to have to walk the remaining 6kms. Because I was in so much pain instead of stopping I decided the best thing to do was to run AS FAST... AS I COULD to get back to my car. When I got back I was in so much pain but I was also so happy that I had just smashed out 11ks. Like I said my runs had been getting harder every time and I felt so tired during them, it just didn't feel fun anymore. But instead of asking my body what was wrong I listened to the other voice that was saying things like "you have lost your mojo Jarna", "you're getting lazy", "see I knew you couldn't be a runner forever". Etc etc. After that 11km run I had a headache for 17 days!! I also couldn't move for two days after because my whole body shut down and was in so much pain. That run was the catalyst for me getting some bloods done and finding out I had Ross River. Yep Ross Fucking River!!!! Turns out I am not lazy, or losing my mojo, or not a runner. My body was just really unwell with a virus and I was under alot of stress. I have alot of posts coming about my Ross River jounrey as it has taught me sooooooo much and as much as I would of wanted to throat punch anyone that mentioned it at the time it was definitely not "happening to me, it was absolutely happening for me"...but please don't say that to anyone who has it. The thing this has taught me is if my body is tired or in pain or not wanting to do something there is always a reason why, it has nothing to do with if I am lazy or not like my ego would have me believe. Ross River has had me get all of my priorities back into order, it has me listening to my body every day, I feel way more in my feminine again, way softer, way gentler, way more in my body, way more like me. Exhaustion and pain is feedback that something is not aligned, please listen to your body, she knows what's up.

24.01.2022 Can you feel my heart? Can you feel my love? Can you feel how much this work lights me up? Today I had an experience with an "educational psychologist", my son is with him now being diagnosed for Dyslexia. This morning when I spoke to him I couldn't feel his heart, I couldn't feel his love, I couldn't see that he was lit up with talking to me. And it has me thinking about how I hope my clients feel when we work together, when they choose me to be their person to see them.... I didn't feel seen or heard by this man. I want you to know that I see you, I hear you and I am listening to you with my whole being. When we spend time together I use all of my senses to hold space for you. When we make people feel safe about who they be and where they are, that is where absolute magic happens. The most important thing I can do for you is to see you while you are learning to see yourself. I didn't feel seen today but I choose to step away and see myself and use this as the reminder of why the work I do feels so fucking good, because I do not work from a book I work from a body. Mine and yours. When my human heart meets your human heart that is what creates this foundation of trust and human expression. I just wanted to jump in here and say how much I see you and how much I value our heart to heart exchanges in our time together. I really do love what I do and I really hope you can feel that. Photo credit @lion.fox.and.co

23.01.2022 Do you feel like you take emotional welbeing seriously or only physical? If you are in physical pain what do you do? Say you have a sore neck or tooth or shoulder do you go and get relief for that pain spot, do you wake up in pain and then go and get help and support from a professional to get them to help ease the pain?... But what about emotional pain? What do you do with that? Do you suffer in silence, do you push the pain down, maybe it doesn't even come into your awareness to even think about getting some help to ease with your emotional pain. Why do you think that is? Why are we so open to see a Chiroprator to get relief with a painful back but not so open and quick to get the support with a painful subconscious? Why is it your partner doesn't think twice if you say you are of to the physio with a "sore knee" but if you say you are of to "talk to someone about your feelings" they just flat out jump into fear about what that means or say no you are not? Why are we so open to say that we went to see the dentist about a "painful tooth" we had but we don't speak about having seeing a professional because of a "painful heartache". I really want us all to start normalise getting help and support for more than just physical pain. If someone says they are getting emotional support from a professional that does not mean that their is "anything wrong with them" any more than we go to get help from a chiropractor with a "sore neck". It is the same. Sore neck or sore heart, you need support with both and we need to start getting more comfortable with this level of support. For me when I work through my emotional pain I have FAR less physical pain show up for me. I love what I do and I know so many other amazing humans doing amazing work and I would just hate for you to be missing out on it because you feel like your emotional pain is less important than your physical, because I believe it is equally if not more important than the other. I have so many "people in my corner" supporting me with my emotional and physical "wellbeing", it is a priority for me and my family. What are you making a priority for you? photo credit @lion.fox.and.co

21.01.2022 I'm not sure where you are at in your life right now but I just wanted to remind you that you could choose something completely different if you wanted to? How cool is that? In six months from now your life could look so different to what you are experiencing right now...if you choose it.... 14 years ago I was down and out, depressed, spiraling out of control, lying, cheating, making the most destructive choices imaginable...then I went and found support and I changed, Everything!! And I haven't stopped, changing and growing. To me "you've changed" is one of the biggest compliments I could ever get. The thing is nobody new the depths of my despair 14 years ago, I told people most things and still there were so many things that never got said. Just like you nobody knows what you have gone through, or are going through. I have so many stories that would leave you gob smacked, and so do you, we all do. And do you know what, I still have those stories. But now my stories that leave people gob smacked are exciting to me, things that I am doing that seems crazy to others but full of life to me, full of courage and magic and they leave me feeling really proud of the woman I am. You know you can do that right...and without ANY justification on why you want to change or are changing. Change is a choice and it is also a deep dive into an un-hinging of all the patterns, beliefs, scripts, patterns etc. But more than anything it is a commitment to your self. That person you "wished" you could be, you know you actually can be her right? The reason I know you can is because I am living proof that "anything is possible". Is it easy. Nope, not even close, it's a commitment and it is a daily practice to choose yourself and make yourself a commitment. And even though it can be tough going sometimes it doesn't come even close to the "grief" of my life 14 years ago and the girl I was back then and the shame I was living. "Changing" has been the BEST decision I have ever made. "You've changed" makes me so happy. Are you ready to experience yourself "changed"? If you are reach out and let's start. Is your future self is saying YES? Photo @lion.fox.and.co

20.01.2022 I am a very visual person, I think that's why vision boards work so well for me. I have been doing them for nearly 10 years and can't imagine ever stopping. Something I find fascinating is that I have had the same group of magazines that I use for images and words for about 6 years and everytime I go through them when doing a board I think to myself "there is no way there are any good words left in these magazine, you have looked so many times and they will absolutely all be ...gone", but they are not. You see I am not the same woman I was the last time I did a board so I will not be looking for the same words as I was then, things have shifted and life looks different and every single time it still fascinates me. My last board stayed up only about 3 months, it was quick and I never felt that real strong connection to it either, it was there and I would look at it but I never felt the movement from the inside, I never found myself laying up against the wall on it and breathing it in, or any of the things that I often feel. This one I FEEL her. I am turning 40 this year!!! (And just as a little pre warning there will be many a post written about this this year, so just a heads up and I am not sorry) 40 is exciting. I am excited for me, I am excited for all my girlfriends, I am excited for all the celebrations and belly laughs as we connect and remember and pour into each other with all the years of love that we have between us all. 2021 was always going to be a big year for me, Liv starts school fulltime, Nate starts at his new school and Will actually start partime at school and in the workforce and I turn 40...see it was already big. Last year took all the things I thought I was certain about, flipped them on their head and then flipped me on mine...thank-you! Sometimes when life confuses you so much that nothing makes sense anymore you actually get to start seeing things from a whole new prospective...the gift of 2020, knocking me so far on my arse that I now feel like I have the most spectator panoramic view of seeing this year through. Which is what my vision is for 2021, to step back and take ALL of life in. One big manifestation at a time.

19.01.2022 Yesterday I had a really intense conversation with a beautiful kind phenomenal woman. We spoke in depth about what is happening in her life and body right now and how she has found herself back in a very old trauma pattern of her eating disorder. I am not going to go into details but it was this important reminder to me that our bodies are here to be poured into with gentleness and love and admiration and celebration and significance. ... We spoke about "if you wouldn't want this for your daughters then why is it ok to except it for yourself"? This morning I took myself to the mirror and for the first time in a long time I looked at myself with gentleness and compassion and love. I looked at my body and listened to my thoughts and I thought about whether I would want this for Liv. And the truth is this morning, yes absolutely I definitely want this for my daughter, (this is not how I feel everyday though) I want her to love her no bra, messy hair, thighs kissing, curvy, sensual, beautiful body. I love that this body just had a big yummy breakfast, I love that this body took everything from that conversation yesterday about scales and restrictions and control and bullying and said, not on my watch. Once again I remind myself "don't speak about my body like shes not in the room". My daughter is watching me, if it's not what I want for her then I will not allow it for myself because she is watching my every move, seeing what I make ok and I don't. I am Livs permission slip, that is what empowers me to make more compassionate choices in my life. That is what inspires me keep being in the arena that I am in with so many amazing woman having these big narly sessions about "what's really going on" under "what you think is going on". It lights up my soul every single time I speak it. Please speak to your body like she is in the room, she is listening to every single word like it is truth with a capital T. Make sure you are actually speaking truth, not just what you think is true. Fully being "in love" with yourself is the most courageous experience you could ever gift yourself, be patient, be brave and never give up. Love you.

16.01.2022 This morning my 7 year old son said " mum I can't wait for 2021", "why is that mate", I asked. He said, ... "because we have so many adventures planned for next year and I'm so excited". He had grin from ear to ear and so did I. I love our van and the adventures we have already been on in it, 2021 is looking even more exciting. We have already booked three seperate holidays and I am sure there will be more squeezed in over next year. I feel so lucky to have such a big beautiful state to go and explore.

15.01.2022 Something magic has fallen into place for me these last few months. When I am in my stillness it's like I can feel the universe just pulsing through my body, I feel infinite and connected. Towards the end of my run yesterday I heard "I'm back baby"! And then two seconds later I heard "for the love of God woman, no, you are not back, yes you are running but just look at how differently you are running now, look at how much more present you are with your body while you are run...ning, look at how respectful you are being with each step, always checking in, always listening, always feeling to make sure that you body feels ok with no attachments to how far or how fast you are going. You are not back babe, and if you are actually understanding this whole RR lessons, you never will try to go "back". See what I mean? The universe pulsing through me. For me this year I have rediscovered my femininity and it feels so good to back here, feeling all these sensations again. I didn't realise much I missed this part of myself, God I missed her and the way life feels from here. 2020 has been a ride but I am so grateful for the plot twist I got this year. Slowing down and helped me feel so much more in my exhale again, so much happier in my sensuality, so much more open with other humans and just generally more present and in the moment with each moment. My feminine doesn't "get of" on the business of life or the feelings of being "on" all the time, she doesn't allow herself to be pulled into the story of "stress" or feeling "overwhelmed" by her own choices. She takes her time making decisions and commitments and she is always checking back in with where her choices and that they falling into her priorities. My life looks and feels very very different than this time last year. My house is messy often, I day nap every few days, I have no commitments for the rest of this year and I am not doing ANY baking for xmas, I didn't even make Liv cupcakes for her school birthday celebrations (that was an edge for my ego) My feminine knows her worth, no need to do it all, or impress anyone. I'm just here being myself. My raw open loving heart on my sleeve self.

15.01.2022 Yesterday I was talking to a client about how WE have control of the stories we tell ourselves and that how the stories we keep telling ourselves have control over us. The last few fathers day things have felt little heavy for me, since I was little girl I have never allowed myself to feel like it was a "big deal" that I have never met my biological dad. But these last few fathers day I have allowed myself to shed a few tears that I very much missed knowing him. This morning... I was sharing with Shane how today I felt sad for Will that he isn't seeing his dad today and I was also sharing how when Will was a baby, his dad was just such an amazing dad. I also shared with Shane how I think our kids won the lottery getting them as his dad and all of the kind of love he gives them because his loves feels like the most caring love ever. Today my story has changed. I have changed the narrative. In here are the photos of the men who make up my life as what a father is or the father of my children and even though it is far from perfect it still is full of love and family and bonds that tie us all together. I have my Pop, "Tony" the man who was the most amazing man in the world in so many ways. My biological dad "Steve" who I can only imagine has always imaged about me as much as I have him. My first step dad "Irwin" who called his daughter even when I wasn't by blood, thank-you. My second step dad "Haslam" aka " MY DAD", the man who I never allowed to raise me but has always loved me and my stubbornness anyway. My eldests sons dad "Simon" thank-you from the bottom of my heart for our son. My Father in Law "Kinglsey, Shane wouldn't be the man he is without you, thank-you. And our forever man and the man who holds all of this together with me, the kids dad and my amazing husband "Shane". We love you so much babe and honestly our world wouldn't work without you in it, thank-you for being you. Today I send love to all of these men and send deep gratitude for everything they gifted me with. My story. My script. My power. Happy fathers day to all the men on the world today. Sending you heart so much love for all that you be in this world.

14.01.2022 Sometimes all you need is someone so far in your corner believing in you and calling you forward because they whitness you in a way that you have being deeply desiring your whole life. It is so much easier to be courageous in life when you have someone reminding you why you are choosing to be courageous in the first place. When we have support we have another layer of safety, we have someone to reach out to when we don't want to do the things we know we have said want to do w...hen we felt safe. I can't tell you how many times I have being able to support someone through a life changing decision just by them choosing to feel all the fear and trust in themselves and their courageous heart because they choose to grow. "Life changing" decisions more than often is when we choose to be so vunerable in a way that at the times literally feels like we may pass out but in that moment changes the trajectory of our lives forever. A courageous heart comes from a healed spirt. Maybe you can feel that you want to be more courageous in 2021, I know I can feel it. I never coach a woman into a place that I haven't being...but I have taken myself to many beautiful courageous moments in my life, so know that I will be calling you into all of your magic and power, because that is where we are all going this year. Even in a pandemic, actually especially in a pandemic (I feel like all woman need extra support right now), it's important the we rise...together, I see your courageous heart ready to go to all the places. Sending so much love to everyone on the first day of 2021. Even though we don't know exactly what this year will hold, I know that we are so much more courageous tha we have ever being before...and that excites me. Happy 2021 lovers.

13.01.2022 Something I go over and over and over and with my clients is priorities. Yesterday I spoke about boundaries and how when my boundaries got solid I got solid and for me boundaries and priorities are so closely weaved together. If I don't priorities myself in my life as number one then it means I can't choose good boundaries in my life because I myself am not choosing to put myself first (unselfishly, don't worry I don't mean in an egoic way I mean it's not fair to ask somet...hing of others to make me feel a certain way if I am not willing to do that for myself first) For me when I gave myself permission to put myself first as my number one priority and do what I need to do in the everyday moments of life to take responsibilities for the way I wanted to feel then that energetically started to hold me in a more solid container of "I am enough" and "I am worthy" and "I am taking responsibility for my life and I am a grown up". The first thing I had to do though was face of with the fact that it isn't selfish to priorities yourself first, it's actually selfish if you don't. I had to let the "martyrdom" lineage die within me and not use it as a badge of honour any longer. I had to think about what I wanted for my kids, honestly did I want to raise our kids to believe it is honorable to value their kids well being or their husbands happiness or even their parents happiness over their own? I know I do not want this for my children and because I want them to know their worth it means that I get to show them that by valuing my needs as well as theirs. Prioritizing myself means taking the pressure of my husband to make me feel a certain way and knowing what I want to feel and making sure I am also taking responsibility for that. Once again what was modelled to you? Have you rejected that model or are you doing something similar? I am not asking you to be selfish but I am asking you to take responsibility for honouring your own needs... The saying "you can't pour from and empty cup" means "you can't be happy if you do not meet your own needs first and then blame others for that emptiness, fill your cup, be responsible for yourself, model worthiness.

11.01.2022 When my eldest son was 6 years old I took him to a Kinesiologist. He was struggling at school with separation anxiety and was also finding year one really hard. In the first session Will was up on the table and Carole was asking him some questions all while testing his body to see what his response was. (Not verbal response but energetic response) * SIDENOTE I choose kinesiology as I was reading all of Maggie Dents books at the time and reached out to her and kinesiology was ...her first paper of call with what my concerns where. Thank-you Maggie as it was transformational. As the session was going along Carole was asking Will about a time in his life when he was really little, about 2 years old. Will said that all he remembers from back then was myself and his dad fighting all the time. (Which I do not, but Will did in great detail) Carole went on to ask a few more question and I can't remembe exactly how it came about but what she was able to get to the bottom of was that when Simon and I separated and fell out of love he thought that meant that we fell out of love with him as well. Carole then went on to explain to Will that when mums and dads fall out of love that never means that they have fallen out of love with their children and that they still love them very much. As she was speaking to him and doing the energy healing on him he quietly just layed their weeping, tear after tear falling down his cheek. I remember he looked so sad but also so peaceful. Carole was like an angel that day the way she poured into Will, all the while looking over at me with this "it's ok mumma, he is going to be ok" look. I always think about that session and how it completely changed our lives, Wills and mine. An important part of the work I do with my clients is often around their childhood and the stories and beliefs that started from there. Will was carrying around a belief that he was unloved. Carole course corrected that to some degree but I am sure it still plays it part in some way. If you have a sense your child needs support, trust it and take action. It's so important. And forgive yourself swiftly, that's important too.

10.01.2022 This year I have learnt to laugh from a whole new place from within. I learnt to let go from places I have never being able to let go from before. I learnt to love my body in a way I have never loved her.... I learnt to ask for help over and over again even when I wanted to do it alone. I learnt to stop and sleep and rest and stop some more. I learnt to listen to my nervous system, my energy, my intuition. I learnt to stand up for what I believe in and trust that I know what I know. I learnt to create abundance and wealth. I learnt how to say that "I am not feeling ok" and be ok with that feeling of vulnerability that comes when you feel sick. I learnt how to live in a messy house and not give myself a hard time about it. I learnt how to coach in a way I am so proud of, that's has left me feeling full of hope for what is possible for the woman in this arena with me. I have learnt so much, even when in times I didn't think my body was going to find a way out of the mess, there really was so much more here for me in 2020 than I could of ever of imagined. I think there was so much here for everyone this year. We have all had our eyes and hearts opened to what is actually important...not just what we thought it was. I don't have any resolutions this year, just an intention to be really clear about where I want my energy to belong and why. Time is a gift, I want to make sure I am making the most out of the way I am choosing to create with it. I don't want to "use" it, or "spend" it I want to create with it, I want to expand with it, I want to run free with it in 2021. I don't even feel like saying "Happy New Year" even does justice to how much "EVERYTHING" I hope you are feeling right now. I just want you to feel it all in 2021 and know that you can feel anything you choose. So "HAPPY NEW WHAT YOU CHOOSE" ...I hope you choose it all and when you create it I hope you choose to let it stay. Sending you so much love and hope. From one grateful heart to another. Photo credit @lion.fox.and.co

08.01.2022 M U S E ~ to consider something thoughtful. ~ a person - especially a woman - who is a source of inspiration.... How can you be these things for yourself more in 2021? How can you be your own "muse"? How are you going to inspire yourself, to notice yourself, to consider yourself in a new and more expressive way? The message is loud and clear, it is NEVER too late to start being your own Muse, your own source of inspiration, your own compass, your own masterpiece. What you do in your life matters, what you inspire the people around you (especially if you have children) to do in their lives really matters, feeling happy with what you are creating in your life and how you feel about yourself it all matters. You have a life force of energy inside of you, don't waste it, don't let it fade away, don't make it wrong... use it, grow it, let it blossom, share it in ways you never considered, trust it. Please start considering yourself with more thought in 2021. Maybe it's the first and only place to start next year, in a place of careful consideration for yourself before anyone or anything else. From one muse to another, I see you. Photo credit @lion.fox.and.co

08.01.2022 I did say there would be "alot" of #thisis40 talk. I am not sure about you but when I turned 30 it was an absolute shit show, I remember I was so insecure, my relationship was a mess, I was "trying" hard but getting nowhere, I was so lost and the word I would use that I felt often was "dread". I guess that's why 40 is feeling so bloody good. ... When I look back on the past 10 years and watch the woman I have become, to watch the way I feel now about my life and myself and all the people in my life and my family and what I feel day in and day...it seriously blows me away. 30 was dark, the following years were even darker...then one day, when I wasn't sure I could take anymore of the shit I decided to disconnect myself completely from absolutely everything in a healthy and self respectful way and said, enough is enough, I deserve something so much more than this. And I really did, deserve it. And I really started to believe it. And in all that belief, and those boundaries, and that level of self respect...(the level I had spent years trying to understand and embody) In this space, when I stood alone for the very first time in my life and actually knew it in my bones that I actually didn't need anybody to make me somebody, that just being me was more than enough. Well, that changed everything for me. Never be afraid to walk through the darkness, yes it sucks, big time. But it was here in that hell that I found all the reasons of what I was actually worthy of experiencing, I found my voice, I found my courage but most of all I found myself again, the woman who isn't afraid to be herself whatever that "self" looks like in that moment. I am not scared of myself anymore, or of you, or of being alone, or not being enough or being too much. The thing I choose to focus on now is "be here now"...staying in each moment, keeping my face to the sun, letting my shoulders relax and just letting myself "be". Be with myself My husband Our kids This life Macey girl Our family My girlfriends The exhale of it all and much more. I had being wondering why 40 felt so significant, its so much clearer now. I have literally died a million ego deaths to be here.

07.01.2022 You are even worth the $7 butter and the yummy grainy bread, start making your needs a priority. It is really important and it is not selfish, it's self respect, self care, self love, self esteem. It's teaching our kids how to love and value themselves and take responsibility to make themselves happy first and not pour from an empty resentful cup. It is so important to learn but I know it can feel so hard, it can actually feel sickening when you start, you can feel guilty, an...d shame and embarrassment. What was modeled for you? Did your mum put herself first (unselfishly)? Did she make sure she was filling her own cup first? Asking for what she needed? Spend money on herself? Eat her dinner while it was hot? Go to exercise class? Say no when she didn't want to do something? Say no too you to say yes to herself? Or did she put everyone before herself? Buy everything for everyone but never herself (even when there was money to) serve herself the scraps and give the family all the good bits? Never ask for help? Or if she did ask did anyone listen? Maybe you had a parent who was so self centred that did whatever they wanted and didn't ever take you into consideration, didn't ever make sure your tummy was full before they had the new dress, or flash car or holiday. Whatever it was it has subconsciously had an impact into what you believe making yourself a priority means. Often woman say it feels selfish, or needy, or high maintenance but mainly selfish. We have been made to believe that if we love our kids we will sacrifice ourselves for them and that shows them how much we love them. But it actually doesn't. It shows them that we value ourselves so little and haven't learnt how to honour our own needs because we get our self worth through being everything for everyone except ourselves. A place where you know that when you choose yourself that that actually means you choose them as well. When you say I am enough you teach them that they are enough and that they learn to create higher expectations to match their self worth and self belief that was modeled to them? Even if you start with the $7 butter, just start. It's not selfish it's self worth.

04.01.2022 Often my clients want to know "do you think this will work"...and I smile the biggest smile because I have this deep knowing of "if you don't give up and keep going, yes, yes this will work"...and the smile comes because I know my story and I am walking proof that anyone can change. Yesterday I was talking to a client about the masculine and the feminine and it took me back to the remembering of how I used to feel and behave and act. I think "act" is a key word because I cons...tantly felt like I was in a performance trying to get the approval of people, or the laugh out of someone, or to meet others needs by denying my own. (Subconsciously of course) I remember always trying to make people laugh by making fun of myself, or saying really "blonde" things, or crass things...I remember I would always say this thing "yeah he just fucked her till her nose bled", I didn't wear knickers just to shock people, and I was constantly searching for more attention and approval and low level "fun", oh and love, I was always searching for love from men, from such an early age. I was terrible with money and responsibility with money, I constantly said I would do x, y and z and never would, I lied alot, I was a child in a womans body and I was so so angry but would hide it with trying to be perfect and nice and happy. I guess that's why I am so certain about what I do, and what's possible, and what any woman can do in turning their life into what they actually desire, if I can anyone can, you just have to be open to changing and never stop, you just keep growing with your journey and learning and letting yourself be yourself, the conscious self, the self who has "done the work", the inside work that makes her feel secure in who she is and what she actually knows she wants. I can't begin to tell you how happy I am not to be the "fuck her till her nose bled" girl anymore, to be a woman who doesn't need to try to be anyone other than myself for myself. Trust me when I say...yes this will work, you have my word, just keep going, keep opening up, keep learning and having fun with all that's possible. You will NEVER regret starting...ever. This "work" saved my life.

02.01.2022 Today I read a gym advertisement that said "Bikini season is fast approaching, feel confident this summer pool side". I have worn a bikini at 132 kilos and I have worn one at 68 kilos and confidence about how I felt had nothing to do with what number was on the scale or what size the bikini was. I just want to call this out now.... Confidence in bathers is an inside job just as much as it as an outside job. Yes when we look after our health and our bodies that can absolutely boost our confidence but I know woman who are a size 8 that would never go to the beach in a bikini and I know woman who are a size 20 who would never be seen caught dead in a one piece. I used to be the woman who would cover herself up and feel so much shame in bathers but that was when I was always so focused on what I thought others would think and when I didn't love and cherish myself. Then one day at Water Bomb Park my son said "mum why to you always wear that thing around your waist, it looks weird". I looked at him and tried to find an answer that I wanted to say out loud but I couldn't. So I pulled the annoying wet wrap of and I have never worn anything to cover up my legs and hips again when we swim. At first I felt naked, it felt uncomfortably and I felt extremely vulnerable. But after a few hours of running around with Will it just felt normal and free and I felt really proud to let myself be seen. Yes Summer is coming, and yes I hope you feel confident poolside, beachside, lovers side, whatever side you are on but not because you look a certain way in a bikini, fuck that pressure. I hope you feel confident in your bathers because no matter what your size you are beautiful and your body is beautiful and your legs and hips and dimples and skin and stretch marks are all beautiful, because they are you. I know we are been sold so many images of perfection but they are not "all real", they are not even close to being "all real". I will be in a bikini this season and I will feel confident in my bathers because I will not speak about my body like she is not in the room, not ever. I will also go the gym, and it will have nothing to do with my confidence pool side.

02.01.2022 When was the last time you "celebrated" yourself? When was the last time you told yourself you were "proud" of yourself? When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror and gave yourself a complement or even said something like "wow you are so beautiful"? I know that in Australia we don't like people to act "to confident", "to successful", "to in love with ourselves", "too much". But why is it that we encourage our children to be "kind to themselves", to speak "lo...ving to themselves", to "make mistakes", to just "have a go", to "stand up for themselves", or more to the point "speak up for themselves" but then we often don't do any of those things for ourselves. Why do we pour into others but refuse to pour into ourselves. Not pouring into yourself doesn't make you humble, it makes you a martyr and a victim to yourself and makes those around you always feel like they have done something wrong. I bet you are way more talented than you give yourself credit for. I bet your children are way more happier than you let yourself believe. I bet you are way more beautiful than you have allowed yourself to believe. I bet you are way more loving than you allow yourself to act. I bet your body is actually way more gorgeous than you allow yourself to feel. Honestly when was the last time you allowed yourself to soak yourself up? To give yourself a much needed compliment? To touch your body and say something magnificent about her? What about if you just started with saying what you are proud about every night when you go to bed, go through all the things you are "proud" of for the day...then the following week make it "what I love about my body"...then maybe "what I love about my personality". Build yourself up higher and higher, take up more space, pour into yourself with all that love that you so freely give out. Being confident in who you be doesn't make you "not humble" it makes you "a responsible grown arse woman who meets her own needs first". And that is where the magic happens. When we take responsibility for the "grown arse woman part" and her desires. It's important. Photo credit @lion.fox.and.co

01.01.2022 For me a boundary is a way of saying to someone, I love you and I also really love me. Boundaries are something that I have struggled with over time, because the thought of someone not liking me was too much to take and I always wanted to be the nice, appeasing person so I was always bending my boundaries or and even then bending my boundaries is a push because the truth is I didn't really have any. For me my boundaries are a foundation of loving myself, when I love myself an...d feel worthy I have learnt to have good solid boundaries in place. (Boundaries teach people what's ok and what's not ok) This week I have had to revisit my boundaries and check myself...I have come to the realisation that I am not willing to not have my boundaries in place just so someone likes me or behaves in a way that feels like they like me. That isn't love it's manipulation. My ego makes me believe to be loved by everyone is the what this game of life is all about but I know that is actually a load of shit, I really do...I will not negotiate on my boundaries because I do love myself and because I actually love you as well I won't allow you to negotiate on them either. Have you ever put a boundary in place with someone and then seen the way the universe responds to that? Or vice versa, have you ever let a boundary slip and then seen the way the universe responds to that shit? Connect us or disconnect us. Boundaries lead into learning how to be a really great communicator which leads to knowing your own wounds and triggers so you can hold space for yourself to actually say what needs to be said which then leads into "scipt" and loops back to who showed you what a boundary looked like and how did that person do that and what did they feel about themselves and the world at the time they taught you this. EVERYTHING is connected. Having clear boundaries means that I know my worth and I also have a voice connected to that worth that actually speaks up for herself. Make sure are clear on your worth and that you are calling people forward so they see their OWN worth too. Teach people, it's important. Photo credit @lion.fox.and.co