Direct Focus Solutions in Sydney, Australia | Health & wellness website

Direct Focus Solutions

Locality: Sydney, Australia

Phone: +61 1300 197 949

Address: 42 Gardeners Road 2032 Sydney, NSW, Australia

Website: https://directfocussolutions.com.au/

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24.01.2022 To better understand why children behave inappropriately on occasion, it’s important to recognise how their brains are still developing. Toddlers, pre-schoolers and kindergarteners have a natural egocentricity (or self-centredness) and have an inability to understand another’s wants and needs. This is actually a reflection of their developing sense of empathy and the ability to visualise events from another’s perspective. These are skills they aren’t born with, but gradually... learn and develop! For primary school aged children, they’re beginning to understand that their actions have consequences, and they learn what behaviours are expected of them. However, they still require firm boundaries and guidelines to help frame their limited understandings and shape their behaviours. Teenagers are rapidly developing in body and brain, but are prone to mood shifts and poorer mental health. They can come off as argumentative or disrespectful, but this is seldom their intention. They will naturally seek privacy and independence as they age and part of your responsibility as a parent is to help support and manage these needs. #wellbeing #mentalhealth #education #health #healthcare #mentalhealthcare #children #childdevelopment #childpsychology #directfocussolutions Sources: - Guerin et al. (1997) Difficult Temperament and Behaviour Problems: A Longitudinal Study from 1.5 to 12 Years - Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne - Understood.org

20.01.2022 Bullying is motivated by a number of factors. Not all of these necessarily apply at the same time: - Wanting to feel powerful, in-charge or in-control. - Feelings of jealousy or anger towards others. - Social pressure to conform or fit in with a group of bullies.... - Wanting others to fear or like them. - Acting out due to traumatic experiences or being bullied themselves. - Not having the capacity to realise what they’re doing is wrong (developmental age, emotional delays, poor socialisation skills, etc.) - Misreading the intentions of others as hostile and so respond with hostility. - Seeking attention from parents, teachers, peers, etc. and haven’t gotten it from other methods. Bullying and harassment is also strongly correlated to the surrounding setting (home, school or workplace.) Established norms and attitudes are greatly influential: Is bullying treated as just a part of growing up rather than an abject behaviour? Is it overlooked as something too hard to deal with? Availability is also very important: inadequate supervision and a lack of clear and concise anti-bullying and harassment policies, tools, and procedures incentivise these behaviours. Although bullying and harassment can occur in any setting and target anyone, bullying is more likely to occur in locations where the victim is isolated or alone (hallways, changing areas, playgrounds, etc.) #wellbeing #mentalhealth #education #psychology #health #bullying #harassment #childsafety #children

19.01.2022 Positive reinforcement works quite well with younger children to address their negative behaviours. It relies on catching them when they’re being good. The key is to focus on their positive actions rather than their negative ones. You must strongly reinforce positive behaviours as they occur. Be as specific about the behaviours you’d like to encourage as possible. For example: I like it when you share with your sister. That is so kind of you. ... It’s often far less effective to wait until a child does something wrong in order to provide feedback. This suggests to the child that the only time you pay them attention is when they misbehave. This promotes bad attention rather than good attention. A good rule of thumb is to respond to children’s positive behaviours four times for every one negative response given. Sometimes it’s necessary to provide constructive feedback about native behaviours, but by prioritising the good ones, we show a child that we value these behaviours far more. #wellbeing #mentalhealth #education #health #healthcare #mentalhealthcare #children #childdevelopment #childpsychology #directfocussolutions Sources: - Guerin et al. (1997) Difficult Temperament and Behaviour Problems: A Longitudinal Study from 1.5 to 12 Years - Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne - Understood.org

17.01.2022 Bullying and harassment are psychologically harmful behaviours that lead to a number of ill effects for victims, including feelings of fear, sadness, loneliness, anxiety or depression, a loss of willpower and appetite, sleeping and concentration difficulties, and even self-harming thoughts. Bullying and harassment involve intentional, repeated acts with an imbalance of power. They can occur in any setting, such as school, work, and even at home. Although they have many simil...arities and encompass a wide range of behaviours, it is important to discuss the differences between bullying and harassment. Bullying can be psychological, social, or emotional, and has a higher chance of physical violence amongst males. It targets a specific individual and is motivated by their hidden characteristics (perceived popularity, integrity or competence.) These perceived traits provide the incentive to bully, more so than targeted discrimination. It tends to occur in isolated areas, with few (if any) victims. Bullying empowers the bully and bolsters their self-esteem, confidence, and self-image. Harassment by contrast, has a strong physical component (contact, touch) and is more likely to have sexual attributes. Harassment can target not just the victim, but also their personal space or belongings (intruding without permission, stealing, hiding or destroying objects.) The victim’s outward appearance (race, gender, disability, etc.) form the main motivation for the behaviour. It is also strongly influenced by elements of racism, sexism, and other forms of discrimination. Harassment is usually highly public and visible, with lots of witnesses, and is done to shame, belittle, or dominate the victim. #wellbeing #mentalhealth #education #psychology #health #bullying #harassment #childsafety #children Sources: Bullyonline.org, Skillcast, Justsayyes.org, Raisingchildren.net.au, childmind.org, Divecha D. (2019), Campbell H. (2018), Kids Helpline, Stopbullying.gov, WorkSafe Victoria, American Psychological Association

14.01.2022 Prevention is the key to stopping bullying and harassment: Having a positive school or work environment with supportive norms and values than shun bullying and harassment greatly diminishes their likelihood. There should be no stigma for reporting bullying and harassment, and should be seen as taking responsibility for one’s own health and safety, as well as that of others. Acceptable and unacceptable behaviours should be clearly stated to help identify bullying and harassme...nt as they occur. Administrators and authority figures play crucial roles in helping to build positive environments. They must be willing to use their position to help prevent these behaviours, and implement not only appropriate punishments, but more importantly strategies to increase psychological health and wellbeing. These shouldn’t be seen as a chore, but an essential service. Effective leaders (including parents) model the values and behaviours they wish to promote in others (including their children.) They need to show respect and guidance for others, and react appropriately to stress and conflict. #wellbeing #mentalhealth #education #psychology #health #bullying #harassment #childsafety #children Sources: Bullyonline.org, Skillcast, Justsayyes.org, Raisingchildren.net.au, childmind.org, Divecha D. (2019), Campbell H. (2018), Kids Helpline, Stopbullying.gov, WorkSafe Victoria, American Psychological Association

14.01.2022 Victims of bullying and harassment need to be able to seek help whenever they need it, not when it’s convenient for others. School and workplaces need to have a simple and clear process to follow for reporting bullying and harassment. It should be anonymous (if required), discrete, and accessible at any time. Building support networks for victims is also important. These should involve people they can go to for help and support. Peers and higher-ups (teachers, parents, admin...istrators) who are willing to take their concerns seriously should be involved. Parents should make sure they devote at least 10-15 minutes each day to making themselves available to hearing their child’s concerns and provide reassurance. This is also a good opportunity to ask probing questions to determine if everything is okay: - What was something good that happened at school today? Did anything bad happen as well? - Who did you sit with at lunch? What did they talk about? - How is it riding the school bus? - What do you like best about yourself? What are you good at? #wellbeing #mentalhealth #education #psychology #health #bullying #harassment #childsafety #children Sources: Bullyonline.org, Skillcast, Justsayyes.org, Raisingchildren.net.au, childmind.org, Divecha D. (2019), Campbell H. (2018), Kids Helpline, Stopbullying.gov, WorkSafe Victoria, American Psychological Association

10.01.2022 If someone experiences harassment, they should keep a log of specific events, dates, times and witnesses. As previously mentioned, harassment tends to be done in very public settings, often with witnesses. A victim of harassment should talk to witnesses after the event and ask them to back up their records and statements. Records and evidence should be presented to someone in charge. In the workplace, it helps to arrange a meeting with a manager or HR representative. If the ...perpetrator of the harassment is in charge themselves, then go to their boss. Always be sure to follow up after these events so concerns are not ignored. If there’s no response, go above the person to the next person in the chain of command. It can be beneficial to present records and testimony as a group if extra support is required. Witnesses can be trusted confidants, as can fellow victims of the harasser. #wellbeing #mentalhealth #education #psychology #health #bullying #harassment #childsafety #children Sources: Bullyonline.org, Skillcast, Justsayyes.org, Raisingchildren.net.au, childmind.org, Divecha D. (2019), Campbell H. (2018), Kids Helpline, Stopbullying.gov, WorkSafe Victoria, American Psychological Association

10.01.2022 Although the consequences of misbehaviour vary considerably from household to household, there are certain forms of punishment which are universally regarded by psychologists as ineffective and baseless. They are explicitly linked to poor life outcomes and long-lasting psychological impacts. The following forms on discipline should never be used: - Physically disciplining children (including smacking, spanking, pulling, pinching or shoving) has been linked with increased agg...ression and anti-social tendencies, mental health issues such as stress, anxiety, and depression, as well as poorer self-esteem, self-confidence, and family relationships. - Shouting or yelling at your children: This response inappropriately models to children that these actions are appropriate ways to deal with anger or frustration. - Shaming, belittling or humiliating children: These have been shown to actually increase the likelihood and severity of behavioural issues into the future, in addition to damaging the relationship between parent and child. - Physically isolating a child for unreasonable lengths: This is particularly harmful for younger children who often mentally perceive these actions as rejection by their parents, which is a major cause of distress. #wellbeing #mentalhealth #education #health #healthcare #mentalhealthcare #children #childdevelopment #childpsychology #directfocussolutions - Guerin et al. (1997) Difficult Temperament and Behaviour Problems: A Longitudinal Study from 1.5 to 12 Years - Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne - Understood.org

07.01.2022 It’s crucial to examine any difficult behaviours in context. What external factors may be influencing the behaviour? Is your child feeling tired, sick or unwell? Have their been changes to their family circumstances? Are they being bullied or are having problems at school? You must avoid the temptation to react negatively to their misbehaviours. To do so reinforces the idea that your own negative response is an appropriate way to handle a situation. Instead, you must have an... understanding response ready to go! For example: - Ignoring the behaviours entirely is beneficial for low-level misbehaviours like stomping, tantrums or talking back. These are often done to draw your attention. By ignoring it you show that the best way to get someone’s attention is to remain calm and collected. Note that it can be rather difficult to ignore children in many cases, so this takes a great amount of practice! - Offering an explicit set of choices can also be beneficial. Children often find it difficult to make choices, so it can help to present just two concise options as alternatives to a challenging behaviour. These choices often remove the child from the behavioural stimulus. - Appealing to empathy is useful for older children: encourage them to consider how their behaviour is making another feel. Using When If and I statements to frame their behaviour is a helpful approach during this process. #wellbeing #mentalhealth #education #health #healthcare #mentalhealthcare #children #childdevelopment #childpsychology #directfocussolutions Sources: - Guerin et al. (1997) Difficult Temperament and Behaviour Problems: A Longitudinal Study from 1.5 to 12 Years - Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne - Understood.org

05.01.2022 It helps to avoid applying consequences for misbehaviour until the child has been given a second chance to correct their behaviour. Some children, especially very young children or those with development delays or processing disorders, can inadvertently make mistakes as an instinctive response to a situation. They should not be punished for something they couldn’t help. Give your child a chance to rectify their mistake and demonstrate a positive example of a behaviour instea...d. It helps enormously if you are able to positively model this behaviour for your child yourself. Consequences for misbehaviour also need to be: - Proportional to the misbehaviour: Having a severe consequence for what is seen as a minor infraction will only make the child bitter and resentful. - Clearly defined: Explicitly communicate what the child did wrong. Applying consequences for vague reasons only serves to confuse a child and is unlikely to help their behaviour. - Applied immediately after the misbehaviour occurs: This makes a stronger connection between cause and effect in the child’s mind. - Consistent each time: varying the type and scope of consequences does not serve as a good deterrent against misbehaviour. Children need to have an explicit cause and effect in their mind before choosing to engage in a behaviour. #wellbeing #mentalhealth #education #health #healthcare #mentalhealthcare #children #childdevelopment #childpsychology #directfocussolutions - Guerin et al. (1997) Difficult Temperament and Behaviour Problems: A Longitudinal Study from 1.5 to 12 Years - Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne - Understood.org

02.01.2022 The home environment has a tendency to be overlooked when discussing bullying and harassment. Yet, siblings, relatives and even parents are capable of these behaviours. These individuals can contribute to a negative home environment through behaviours like acting as poor role models, yelling at and calling each other names, using physical violence, and showing a lack of respect to others. Parents can bully their children without realising it. They may be overly critical of t...heir children, hold expectations that are too high or unreasonable, or never allow a child to apologise or move on from past behaviours for instance. Often, these behaviours are justified as firm parenting, however, it is a form of psychologically harmful bullying. It’s natural for children to make mistakes. They’re still growing up. Parents need to make allowances for these mistakes and move on. Firm parenting should apply only where it really matters. As they say: Don’t sweat the small stuff. It is also important to consider what kind of media your children are being exposed to at home: do the shows they watch and things they read encourage bullying and harassment, or use violence as the main way to solve problems? Do they feature cruel jokes at the expense of others? #wellbeing #mentalhealth #education #psychology #health #bullying #harassment #childsafety #children Sources: Bullyonline.org, Skillcast, Justsayyes.org, Raisingchildren.net.au, childmind.org, Divecha D. (2019), Campbell H. (2018), Kids Helpline, Stopbullying.gov, WorkSafe Victoria, American Psychological Association

01.01.2022 Children experience a range of emotions as they grow up. As they develop their social and emotional skills, it is common for them to express their emotions in a variety of ways, including losing control on occasion! However, there are times when these behaviours can become very challenging for parents to deal with. Examples of these may include: - Defiance... - Fussiness - Aggressiveness - Outbursts and talking back - Hyperactivity In the following series of posts, we will be learning how to respond appropriately to, and better manage, these kinds of behaviours. I hope you learn something and I look forward to seeing you there! #wellbeing #mentalhealth #education #health #healthcare #mentalhealthcare #children #childdevelopment #childpsychology #directfocussolutions