Dr Brooke Stemm, Clinical Psychologist in Toowong | Psychologist

Dr Brooke Stemm, Clinical Psychologist

Locality: Toowong

Address: 54 Jephson street 4066 Toowong, QLD, Australia

Website: http://www.drbrookestemm.com

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• Mental health service
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25.01.2022 What are you feeling grateful for today? . Im feeling so #grateful for the time Ive had to enter into and embrace these early stages of #motherhood. In fact, the last nine months Ive spent a lot of time reflecting on those things for which Im grateful, although it hasnt always been easy. .... In the midst of challenging times, reflecting on what we are grateful for can be quite tricky. But finding small things in each day that we can appreciate can help improve mood and help to manage the more intense, negative emotions that come with being human. Some days this might involve celebrating the big wins, and others, something as small as the fresh air on your face or the smell of your morning coffee. . On that note, Im also grateful that I have a wonderful job to which Ill soon be returning, which allows me to listen to other peoples stories and witness their growth. . Now taking bookings for a return in early July. . Dr Brooke Stemm

23.01.2022 Along with what seems like everyone else in Brisbane, Im currently reading "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F#*k" and although Im only a short way through, theres already so much that resonates. What great advice Mark Manson provides, to focus on what we truly value and to channel all of our energy and care into those things, rather than spend excessive emotional energy (or "f#*ks") on far less important things. These are concepts Clinical Psychologists often discuss ...with their clients, but its nice to take the time to reflect on this for myself and determine what I will and wont spend my "f#*ks" on this year. What do you spend too much emotional energy on? And where would you prefer to channel that energy this year? See more

23.01.2022 How did you sleep last night? If you struggle to get your eight hours of shuteye, it might be worth investing some time into sleep CPR! . New research from the university of Binghamton suggests that 8 hours of shuteye really IS important. it showed how less than 8 hours sleep per night resulted in difficulty disengaging from negative thinking less that 8 hours also made people more prone to intrusive negative thoughts. ... Both of the above symptoms are often observed in psychological disorders like depression and anxiety. . The link to this research can be found below and is certainly motivation to put some effort into a better sleep routine! . https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas/2018//180104152947.htm . Check out the recent Instagram sleep series run by @graymindpsychology which offers some handy tips for improving sleep. . Your doctor or psychologist can also offer advice and options if these strategies don't help. . I hope you sleep well lovelies! Now.........where's my cup of coffee??? . Dr Brooke Stemm, Clinical Psychologist . Ps. Isn't this the most beautiful sleeping space posted by @queenslandhomes on instagram? Some serious bedroom goals right there! See more

23.01.2022 Lets be real..... so many people are still too ashamed or fearful to book in to see a clinical psychologist because they dont know what to expect or whether it is the right avenue for them. . Contrary to what is STILL a popular belief, coming along to a session with a psychologist doesnt make you crazy or abnormal, nor do we sit in suits with clipboards in hand looking down our noses at you. . Our clients are just like the rest of us......real people struggling with r...eal problems. They are not a diagnosis nor a label. They are humans who are showing up and owning their difficulties, and seeking help on how to move beyond them. Thats pretty amazing and courageous if you ask me! . And us, the clinical psychologists.... we are real people too! We have struggles and flaws and unhelpful thoughts and behaviors too. We are human. While all of the formal qualifications, training, assessment, diagnosis and treatment is certainly part of our deal (and an important part at that) ...... at the end of the day, we are also just real people, sitting in a room, connecting with other real people, and teaming up to find a path through their difficulties. . So, if you are having a hard time and have been thinking about going to see a psychologist but have been too scared or ashamed..... please dont be. Chat to your doctor and find a psychologist with whom you connect and feel safe. Your psychologist should be there to connect, listen and help you move forward....not to judge you or to reduce you to a diagnosis or label. Dr Brooke Stemm Ps. A further explanation on what we are trained to do can be found at the link below https://acpa.org.au/what-is-a-clinical-psychologist/

20.01.2022 A Schema is an enduring, broad and negative theme that we hold in relation to our view of self, and our relationships with others. They develop when we are young, usually in childhood and adolescence, and are influenced by both our temperament, and our early childhood experiences. .... Negative schemas most often develop when a core childhood need is unmet, such as safety, security, emotional validation, predictability, acceptance etc. . Most of us will have at least a few negative schemas which influence our way of perceiving situations/interactions with others and also our emotional and behavioural responses. But for some, there are many of these negative themes running in their lives and their impact can be very intense and distressing. . Unfortunately, once they develop, these schemas often distort our view of situations, making us focus on any sign of evidence that they are true. By the time we reach our adult years, it can often feel like we have so much evidence to support the negative theme, that it couldnt possibly be untrue. . To make matters worse, we then will often behave in ways that reinforce the theme. For example, if I believe no one likes me, I might withdraw from social events and, over time, find that I have very few friends. This will then reinforce my belief that Im unlikeable and I then continue to withdraw some more... . Psychologists have identified up to 18 common negative schemas/themes that people might hold about themselves. . Over the next week Ill be posting about some of the negative schemas that I frequently come across in practice. If you can relate and you feel that your own schemas might be affecting your emotional functioning, dont be afraid to reach out to a psychologist trained in Schema Therapy for some advice on how to move forward. Dr Brooke Stemm

19.01.2022 The Emotional Deprivation schema is a sneaky one. Whilst it’s incredibly common, it’s not always obvious at first and sometimes, even when asked, people aren’t even aware that they experience it. People who have developed this schema often expect that others will be unable to meet their emotional needs, and that they won’t be understood, validated, or listened to etc. As a result, emotions are often experienced privately and many people with this schema do not feel in tune w...ith their own emotional state. Like all schemas, early childhood experiences play a strong role in the development of the Emotional Deprivation schema. Often, people with this schema have experienced a primary caregiver who was not in tune with their emotional needs in childhood and adolescence. Perhaps there was a lack of nurturance, warmth, affection, empathy, protection, understanding or guidance shown from the caregiver. Often there was also a lack of discussion or acknowledgement of emotions within the family unit during the formative years. People with this schema often describe a sense of loneliness or disconnection, or a vague sense that something is missing. My clients with this schema also commonly report anxiety or shame when they do experience strong emotions, because they expect that these emotions either shouldn’t be experienced, or, that they won’t be responded to favourably by others. They might even believe that something is wrong with them (cue defectiveness schema) for feeling these emotions in the first place. Two common outcomes of the emotional deprivation schema are 1. Feeling defective for experiencing strong emotions (as outlined above) or, 2. Learning to self sacrifice and approval seek (excessive focus on pleasing meeting the needs of others) in order to feel validated. Because they don’t expect others to meet their emotional needs, people with this schema can be more inclined to tolerate dismissive, emotionally invalidating behavior from people they are close to, like romantic partners and friends. If you think you have developed this schema and would like to work on it, one option is to link in with a psychologist trained in schema therapy to help guide you. Dr Brooke Stemm, Clinical Psychologist

18.01.2022 The Emotional Deprivation schema is a sneaky one. Whilst its incredibly common, its not always obvious at first and sometimes, even when asked, people arent even aware that they experience it. People who have developed this schema often expect that others will be unable to meet their emotional needs, and that they wont be understood, validated, or listened to etc. As a result, emotions are often experienced privately and many people with this schema do not feel in tune w...ith their own emotional state. Like all schemas, early childhood experiences play a strong role in the development of the Emotional Deprivation schema. Often, people with this schema have experienced a primary caregiver who was not in tune with their emotional needs in childhood and adolescence. Perhaps there was a lack of nurturance, warmth, affection, empathy, protection, understanding or guidance shown from the caregiver. Often there was also a lack of discussion or acknowledgement of emotions within the family unit during the formative years. People with this schema often describe a sense of loneliness or disconnection, or a vague sense that something is missing. My clients with this schema also commonly report anxiety or shame when they do experience strong emotions, because they expect that these emotions either shouldnt be experienced, or, that they wont be responded to favourably by others. They might even believe that something is wrong with them (cue defectiveness schema) for feeling these emotions in the first place. Two common outcomes of the emotional deprivation schema are 1. Feeling defective for experiencing strong emotions (as outlined above) or, 2. Learning to self sacrifice and approval seek (excessive focus on pleasing meeting the needs of others) in order to feel validated. Because they dont expect others to meet their emotional needs, people with this schema can be more inclined to tolerate dismissive, emotionally invalidating behavior from people they are close to, like romantic partners and friends. If you think you have developed this schema and would like to work on it, one option is to link in with a psychologist trained in schema therapy to help guide you. Dr Brooke Stemm, Clinical Psychologist

17.01.2022 Good morning everyone! . A word of warning, to BEWARE! . It's that time of year again where we get completely bombarded with messages about weight loss and exercise, encouraging us to "lose the Christmas weight" and to "get our perfect beach body." It can be really easy to be influenced by these messages, particularly if you have any existing body image or self-esteem concerns. ... . But many of these messages aren't helpful and if taken on board, can result in high degrees of shame, making you less likely to make positive, balanced decisions about your health. . Of course, there isn't anything wrong with trying to do the best by your body and mind by making healthy choices, but when your eating and exercise rules/goals become so rigid that they cause #stress and interference with other areas of your life (social life, work, relationships and physical and mental health), it is often a sign that some unhealthy patterns have developed. . So........ I encourage you to ditch all of the unhelpful messages about what you ought to look like. Unfollow social media accounts that encourage body shaming and extreme expectations around eating and exercise. Instead, I encourage you to focus on achieving balance with your healthy living decisions and to surround yourself with messages that support this. . REMEMBER....... #living, #laughing, #loving and #connecting are just as important as maintaining your physical health, and ALWAYS far more important than shaming yourself into achieving that #bikinibody. . . . Dr Brooke Stemm, Clinical Psychologist. . **** NB: if you think your eating or exercise habits might be interfering with your life, or you suffer poor body image and self-esteem, it could be helpful to see your doctor for advice. Mental health professionals, like Clinical Psychologists, are trained to help you to manage and overcome these difficulties***** See more

17.01.2022 Long-term change most often requires courage to face the uncomfortable head on. Changing life long beliefs and patterns of behavior can be scary, and can also elicit some grief about letting go of the familiar. But, the payoff can be immense. Im looking forward to witnessing this courage and change in my clients again soon I love this quote from @sasha_tozzi

17.01.2022 Welcome to my new page. To those of you who have transferred over from the old page, thank you for your continued support. For those of you who have just recently followed along for the first time, welcome, and I hope this is a place that you will find some psychology insights which might be of benefit. Stay tuned to hear more about upcoming workshops and resources in the first half of 2018. ... If you don't already, feel free to also follow along on my instagram account via the following link http://www.instagram.com/dr_brooke_psychologist

16.01.2022 Ever experienced depression? . If so, you might have noticed that it was REALLY difficult to get motivated to do the things that you would normally enjoy.... almost like your brain just wasn't plugged in. . There is an explanation for this!... . whilst our understanding is still growing in this area, research to date suggests that when a person experiences depressed mood, certain neural pathways within their brain can be affected. one of these pathways is the brain network that helps us to seek and experience reward, so let's call this the "drive for reward" system. in brains of people with depression, this drive for reward system seems less sensitive to dopamine (a brain chemical), and therefore, is not as easily activated. this can explain why a lot of people with depression no longer enjoy their usual activities, and therefore lack motivation to seek out these activities. other parts of the brain have been shown to play a role in these faulty reward systems too, including the hypothalamus and amygdala, amongst others. so the next time you are tempted to label someone with depression as "lazy", remember that, instead, it could be that their brain isn't helping them to enjoy life or to feel motivation. . The GOOD NEWS? Psychological therapies (and in some cases, medications) can help people to overcome these difficulties, and to once again experience reward from their daily activities.. . if you can relate, speak to your doctor who can organise a referral to a psychologist . You can also WATCH THIS SPACE tomorrow for some ideas on how to improve this symptom of depression. . . Dr Brooke Stemm, Clinical Psychologist . . . thanks to Sonia Rentsch for this amazing still life piece of the brain, as seen on @trendland. Im always in admiration of creative people!

15.01.2022 Self-talk: what are YOU telling you? . Take some time to observe the messages youre giving yourself today- are they kind and encouraging? or critical and discouraging? Which one do you think is more likely to get you to where you want to go? (Hint: its the first one!) . Dr Brooke Stemm

15.01.2022 One of the most common schemas I see in therapy is the defectiveness and shame schema. If a person experiences this schema, they will often experience a strong felt sense that there is something fundamentally wrong with them, that they are flawed and ultimately, unlovable, and these beliefs pervade their life. This schema is strongly linked with feelings of depression, anxiety, and a strong sense of shame as the name suggests. The defectiveness and shame schema is strongly in...fluenced by early life experiences. It may result from an abuse or neglect history, but it is also seen in circumstances where, whilst the persons material needs may have been met as a child, they didnt feel fully seen or heard. Their feelings and thoughts did not feel important or listened to. People who struggle with defectiveness and shame often feel that they could not possibly show the flawed parts of themselves to others and still be accepted or loved, and so often feel highly anxious about being exposed. Situations which could expose these parts of themselves, such as close relationships, are usually a strong trigger for anxiety and distress. So this Schema can have a huge effect on a persons ability to form healthy, authentic intimate connections, and can make it difficult for them to honestly express their emotions and needs to others. Common difficulties associated with this schema include: - De-valuing yourself and allowing others to mistreat or devalue you too. - Choosing partners who mistreat you, and who are critical and rejecting. - Staying in unhealthy relationships because of the belief that you are lucky that someone loves you and tolerates you. - Taking blame for things that arent your fault. - Feeling very sensitive to criticism and rejection. If you think you might be struggling with this schema there are many self help tools out there to firstly assess your schemas, and to help start to overcome them. But the best approach is to seek the help of a psychologist trained in Schema Therapy. Chat to your doctor about a referral if you think you need to or would like to explore this option. Dr Brooke Stemm.

14.01.2022 Full stop. Whatever the circumstances. Whatever the facts. Whatever anyone tells us. We are allowed to feel what we feel. Our own responsibility lies with recognising and understanding these emotions and learning to respond to them in healthy ways.

11.01.2022 Along with what seems like everyone else in Brisbane, I'm currently reading "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F#*k" and although I'm only a short way through, there's already so much that resonates. What great advice Mark Manson provides, to focus on what we truly value and to channel all of our energy and care into those things, rather than spend excessive emotional energy (or "f#*ks") on far less important things. These are concepts Clinical Psychologists often discuss ...with their clients, but it's nice to take the time to reflect on this for myself and determine what I will and won't spend my "f#*ks" on this year. What do you spend too much emotional energy on? And where would you prefer to channel that energy this year? See more

10.01.2022 What is one of the worst things to say to someone with depression who is struggling with #motivation and a lack of enjoyment? . "Just get out there and do more, it'll make you feel better". . This statement can be invalidating because, the depressed brain actually DOES make it much harder to do things and to experience enjoyment. (see post from yesterday).... This means that "just getting out there" when depressed can be a pretty hard slog! But there's an interesting catch 22 here.... Inactivity and social isolation can make depression worse by increasing feelings of worthlessness, ineffectiveness and disconnection. So there is pretty strong research evidence which suggests that "behavioral activation", a treatment for depression, is actually effective in reducing symptoms. And what does this treatment involve?..... Well, in short, "getting out there and doing things" . But before I lose you.....There is more to it than that. In order for this treatment to be effective, it needs to involve: very small steps (because of the whole low motivation and energy thing). each step should be EITHER pleasurable or at least in line with what is important to the person. Activities which bring a sense of #achievement and productivity can also be useful. This very gradual increase in valued, pleasureable activities can slowly build a sense of worth, productivity, connectedness, and then, reduce depressed mood. It can also help to activate those brain pathways I talked about yesterday! so.......if you feel depressed, try to schedule in some pleasurable activities each day over the next week. They don't need to be big, just gradual, small steps. Sometimes you might need the help of a doctor or psychologist to get you going to learn more about behavioural activation and the vicious cycle of depression, check out the link below. For some ideas on what to schedule, also be sure to click on the link to the "fun activities catalogue". http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/minipax.cfm Happy #Thursday! Dr Brooke Stemm, Clin Psych.

09.01.2022 A basic level of mistrust can be useful. It can help us to discern helpful from harmful intentions and information. . However, when the attitude of mistrust becomes pervasive or all consuming, it can have a negative impact on our overall well being and our social functioning. . The mistrust/abuse schema often develops following a childhood history of exposure to abuse (physical or emotional), excessive dishonesty, or in some cases, excessive modeling of mistrust by parents (e....g., if a key caregiver themself experiences this schema). . People with this schema will have a general tendency to internally dismiss what others say because they believe it to be untrue, or, to suspect that others intentions are malicious or self serving. Fear is often at the core of this schema (I.e., fear of getting hurt) however, on the surface the person can experience a lot of resentment, anger, cynicism, and sometimes even apathy towards others. . Often this schema is accompanied by a fear of getting too close to other people, and so a range of coping mechanisms can develop. These might be to not share much about oneself or to only engage in very superficial relationships. . If a person with this schema does enter a relationship, often they experience excessive doubt about the other persons feelings for them and their intentions/loyalty. They may even end up abusing or cheating on the other person in an unconscious defensive way (e.g., Ill hurt them before they can hurt me). The person with this schema might also fall into the perpetual habit of setting up tests to see if their partner is worthy of their trust. . Overall, the mistrust/abuse schema is a very difficult and distressing schema for a person to experience, and also has a negative impact on those close to them. . If these patterns sound familiar to you, have a chat to your doctor and consider speaking to a therapist trained in schema therapy who will be able to offer some insights on how to overcome these difficulties. . Dr Brooke Stemm

08.01.2022 What an empowering statement and realisation this is for survivors of abuse. Many people who have experienced childhood (or adult) abuse, internalise self-blame and shame. To realise that they didnt deserve any of that, and that they are lovable and worthy of so much more, is a key part of the healing process. You. Didnt. Deserve. Any. Of. It. Full stop. No exceptions.

08.01.2022 You havent heard from me for a while due to my busy task of growing a baby.... . But I just wanted to offer this friendly reminder, that often during difficult times, it can be easy to feel as though you cant or wont be able to cope.... but remember.... you have survived everything thrown your way so far, and this alone is evidence that you do indeed have a whole bunch of coping skills under your belt. Reminding yourself that you can and will (and have before) get through ...difficult times can help to instill hope and encourage problem solving. . So, if you are struggling at the moment, remind yourself of your resilience, and think about what helpful coping skills you have drawn on in the past, and those you might be able to use today. . #hope #resilience #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #strength #psychology #psychologist See more

08.01.2022 Hold your babies tight.....engage with them, listen to them and then listen some more, work to understand them, and try to really see them......for we as parents will have such a profound influence on how they come to view themselves. #raisingconfidentkids #makethemfeelworthy

07.01.2022 Good morning everyone! . A word of warning, to BEWARE! . Its that time of year again where we get completely bombarded with messages about weight loss and exercise, encouraging us to "lose the Christmas weight" and to "get our perfect beach body." It can be really easy to be influenced by these messages, particularly if you have any existing body image or self-esteem concerns. ... . But many of these messages arent helpful and if taken on board, can result in high degrees of shame, making you less likely to make positive, balanced decisions about your health. . Of course, there isnt anything wrong with trying to do the best by your body and mind by making healthy choices, but when your eating and exercise rules/goals become so rigid that they cause #stress and interference with other areas of your life (social life, work, relationships and physical and mental health), it is often a sign that some unhealthy patterns have developed. . So........ I encourage you to ditch all of the unhelpful messages about what you ought to look like. Unfollow social media accounts that encourage body shaming and extreme expectations around eating and exercise. Instead, I encourage you to focus on achieving balance with your healthy living decisions and to surround yourself with messages that support this. . REMEMBER....... #living, #laughing, #loving and #connecting are just as important as maintaining your physical health, and ALWAYS far more important than shaming yourself into achieving that #bikinibody. . . . Dr Brooke Stemm, Clinical Psychologist. . **** NB: if you think your eating or exercise habits might be interfering with your life, or you suffer poor body image and self-esteem, it could be helpful to see your doctor for advice. Mental health professionals, like Clinical Psychologists, are trained to help you to manage and overcome these difficulties***** See more

07.01.2022 Healthy boundaries = knowing that your needs are important too! Setting boundaries can be hard and uncomfortable. But failing to set them leads to an even higher level of discomfort: cue burnout, resentment, stress, depression, anger, sadness, and/or strained relationships. If you learn to tolerate the initial discomfort of setting healthy boundaries, then you can ditch all of the rest! I know which option Im choosing!... But, learning to set boundaries effectively and in a way that maintains healthy relationships does take practice.....if you would like to learn more, see the link below for some great initial tips by @psychcentralcom Which areas of your life do you think you need to set clearer boundaries? Happy #friday Dr Brooke Stemm https://psychcentral.com//10-way-to-build-and-preserve-be/

05.01.2022 Wouldnt it be great if we never felt unpleasant emotions? Unfortunately, being human means unpleasant emotions are just part of the deal from time to time. Plus, these emotions usually do serve some function for us and it can be useful to tune into them, allow them to come and go, and to understand the messages they are giving us. But, because emotions can be icky, awkward and uncomfortable, often our initial instinct is to resist against these emotions and try to push the...m away or numb them. This rarely succeeds in the long term and often results in additional issues. For example, I can try to push away my sadness by numbing with food, social media, procrastination, avoidance, alcohol etc, but these very actions lead to other uncomfortable problems like health issues, low self esteem, loneliness, decreased productivity, relationship issues etc. So, whats the alternative? Well.... learning to live in harmony with our unpleasant emotions (and the good ones too!) . This illustration is a great depiction of what psychologists often describe as distress tolerance. That is, observing our uncomfortable emotions non-judgementally, and allowing them to come and go as they need. By observing our emotions (e.g ah there is sadness, I feel it in my chest) and making space for them, we still experience the emotion, but we experience less distress about this emotion. From this more objective space, we are then more likely to respond in constructive ways, rather than just rushing to numb. . As always, these things come with practice and arent always as simple as what can be described here. Want to learn more? Check out the resource at the link below. . Happy Saturday! . Dr Brooke Stemm https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au//Look/Tolerating-Distress

04.01.2022 I feel so grateful for my patients who allow me to be in the position of witness to their psychological growth. . We as human beings are so incredibly resilient...... It is a beautiful thing to observe someone having the realisation that they can change lifelong beliefs that they have held about themselves. This week has been a good week for this. What are you grateful for heading into this weekend?... I'm signing off for the weekend guys, see you all next week. Dr Brooke Stemm, Clinical Psychologist . . . . #growth #resilience #gratitude #change #weekendvibes #reflections

01.01.2022 Have you seen Nannette on Netflix by the amazing @hannah_gadsby ? If not, I highly recommend it. A truly moving, humbling and honest perspective on sexuality, developmental trauma, mental illness and shame amongst many other important themes. . What an amazing, courageous person you are, Hannah. I find myself tearful watching this. . There are so many incredibly important messages in this show.... so I really recommend watching it.... . I chose to share one part that sang to me (but there were so many more) and it is a message I so often talk about with clients and have posted often about here on Instagram. . If you are told you are too sensitive.... remember that that same sensitivity can be your strength. Dont be ashamed of it. Your sensitivity, as Hannah says, serves/has likely served a very important function for you in life.... I know mine certainly has! . Thanks Hannah for your incredible insights... I feel like Ive learned a lot. And thanks @_drkelso for recommending the show! . . Dr Brooke, Clinical Psychologist See more