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Geelong Meditation Centre

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24.01.2022 Name it to tame it When we get caught up in spirals of thought we’re usually trying to escape or process a painful emotion: disappointment, sadness, anger, worry. Ever lay awake with the whirring head? Although we might like to ignore or problem solve our way out of our emotions we need to truly acknowledge them before it’s possible for them to pass on. In fact turning towards them often gifts us with vital information to help us move forward in our lives.... One way to do this is: 1. Notice you’re uneasy, truly notice, and feel the unsettled feeling in your body. 2. Connect to a sense of groundedness through conscious breathing, softening obvious tension and feeling the ground beneath your feet/seat/back.. (or use imagery as in my last post ) 3. Then ask What is this emotion? Or what emotions are present? and name the emotions you feel. * It’s not uncommon to notice several emotions are present and to not be certain what they are. If it’s not clear try going through the five main emotion groups and see what comes up... Is there fear here? Is there anger here? Is there shame here? Is there sadness here? Is there joy here? The labels don’t really matter so much as the act of attending to and communing with your emotional experience with curiosity, gentleness and care *This could be done as a meditation or you could write in a journal if sitting is too overwhelming. Go gently.

24.01.2022 What is your block to self-compassion? Self-compassion is an ability to treat ourselves with the love, kindness, support and respect we would offer to a very dear friend. So many of us struggle to treat ourselves kindly. We may have never considered that we have some control over our relationship with ourselves and that it is possible to nurture and develop that relationship - the most important relationship we will ever have. ... Whether we like it or not we live in a culture in which there is a lot of focus on achievement, appearance and status and it is easy to be caught up in an imagined view of how others are perceiving us. We may be unconsciously placing our entire self worth on these perceived judgements of us by others. When inevitably we fall short of our own expectations or are unable to uphold the image of ourselves we feel comfortable in showing to the world, we may pile on self-criticism and negative self-judgement. We also suffer painful emotions that we may have learned to distrust or to avoid so, again, when these inevitably arise we feel at sea, ashamed, unable to deal with them. This can cause a great deal of heartache but there is another way. What is your weak spot when it comes to being self-compassionate? You may like to fill in the sentenceIf only I was more or I am notenough

23.01.2022 "I've been meditating for ages but I still get triggered." First off..You’re human not a robot. Here I am offering a little reassurance and some self-compassion tips 1) Notice you’re triggered... 2) Accept by asking What emotion is this? I am feeling... 3) Offer a self-compassionate gesture i.e. self touch, soothing breath 4) Choose a skilful response Meditation gives you the skill of noticing what is happening as it happens including, or in particular, body awareness. Self compassion gives you the skill of acceptance - including self-acceptance - nurturing, and listening to your deeper needs

23.01.2022 How do you relate to your thoughts in meditation? This is perhaps the most crucial part of meditation, and the most frequently misunderstood. The activity of the mind can be volatile, incessant, and irritating at times and so it is natural that we might want to silence it. But this can cause a lot of unnecessary effort and strain. Many of us are pretty hard on ourselves anyway, we don’t really need another place to develop self criticism. Why am I thinking?! I’m so bad at ...this. I’m meant to be relaxed!! More resistance. More thoughts. I had a group of students once who, after a silent (unguided) meditation, seemed to rate their experiences on how many thoughts they’d had. Those with lots felt they’d failed. Those with few seemed proud. I imagined they were each presenting a glass jar filled with butterflies. The jar, their inner world and the butterflies, what they’d found inside. I was curious about how they held the thoughts, the nature of the thoughts. How the thoughts appeared and moved. What it felt like in their mind. What attitudes they were cultivating. Attuning to the activity of the mind is learning gentleness, curiosity, wonder; it’s less about controlling and more about holding, tending to or allowing the natural process of the mind unwinding. This too isn’t always easy. It may be very new for us and learning to trust our minds is also a process. Next time you meditate and notice thoughts arising ask yourself Can I be gentle with this thought? Can I be curious? And see what happens ** Meditation & Mindfulness for Beginners Course starts Feb 2. Details on our website. Julian Hanslmaier on Unsplash

22.01.2022 Do you seek to understand your own suffering? Do you help those you care for understand theirs? I’ve got a little bee in my bonnet these days about how we, as a culture, so often fail to be curious about the suffering of others. We might see it and judge it or reflect on how differently we might respond to it. We might view behaviour related to this suffering and want it gone. We might try to advise, fix and repair as if we are required to do a job much bigger than just being... present and kind. What we don’t do is seek to truly understand it. To love someone through it. This quote by Thich Nhat Hanh so simply outlines why this is important. Understanding is love’s other name You might like to practice uncovering the roots of someone close to you’s suffering by asking open questions and make space to listen with a deep intent to understand. Think about the times you’ve been challenged in your life and the difference an understanding presence might have made. No judgment. No fixing. No advising. Just curiosity, compassion and love. In the Cultivating Self-Compassion course starting next week we will explore our habitual responses to suffering - which may include avoidance and self criticism - and seek to find new ways of understanding these. I suppose another way of putting it is that we will learn how to love ourselves better Are you ready for a change? Would love you to join us. Book through website www.geelongmeditioncentre.com.au or DM for more info. Beth x

20.01.2022 Kind attention is the antidote to shame. Kind attention let’s us fall in love with our lives. And the kind of attention we want to cultivate in meditation is kind attention. Kindness holds experience, and us as the experiencer, tenderly and expects nothing in return. When we cultivate this kind attention and bring it into our daily lives everything changes...for the better.

20.01.2022 Running late!!! Managing a stress response in the car Here I share some tips for managing strong emotions when you're in a rush. Confession: I was running crazy late and was close to losing it in the car yesterday. Here's how I helped myself regain balance and perspective

18.01.2022 My morning walk was my morning meditation today. I awoke early with some unexpected energy and took myself down to the river near Fyansford. Greeted by mist, the dawn chorus and these muted green hues I instantly dropped into a state of awe and wonder. It’s in moments like these that we have the invitation to feel part of something much bigger and to feel much more than simply the roles we play. I think it is in moments like this we remember what a gift it is to be fully alive and awake. When do you find yourself in a state of awe and wonder?

18.01.2022 When did you last take a walk on your own? For me, a solo walk at 7pm on a balmy, summer’s evening is total bliss. Being a mum, it’s a relatively rare treat! I find that little problems untangle themselves effortlessly as they intermingle with the sound of the birds, the soft kiss of sun on eyelids, breeze on skin, the scent of dry grass.... With mindfulness, a walk like this can become more nourishing, more enlivening, more breathtaking. No need to plug in the earphones. Tune into the beauty just calling for your attention. Just look, just listen. It’s magic out there When did you last take a walk on your own? How was it?

18.01.2022 #selfcompassion @nayyirah.waheed

17.01.2022 Make the greatest decision of your life: To sincerely treat yourself better. More compassion, more care, more kindness, more forgiveness, more love, more ease, more rest. #selfcompassion

15.01.2022 There is a lot going on right now that might lead us to lose hope. There is also an extraordinarily beautiful world around us that is just crying out for us to fall in love with it and be fully alive in it. This morning as I walked along the coast and witnessed the roar of the waves, the fairy wrens, the surfers so small and playful in the enormity of the ocean, snippets of Mary Oliver’s poem, Mindful played around in my head... Everyday... I see or hear something that more or less kills me with delight, that leaves me like a needle in the haystack of light. It was what I was born for to look, to listen, to lose myself inside this soft world to instruct myself over and over in joy, and acclamation. Nor am I talking about the exceptional, the fearful, the dreadful, the very extravagant but of the ordinary, the common, the very drab, the daily presentations. Oh, good scholar, I say to myself, how can you help but grow wise with such teachings as these the untrimmable light of the world, the ocean’s shine, the prayers that are made out of grass? - tread lightly everyone. Love, Beth

13.01.2022 In moments of vulnerability remember that you are loved and deserving of love. Your mind may tell you all sorts of terrible things about you. That’s what minds often do. This keeps us safe - well, sort of. It also keeps us from being seen and from being brave. In those moments remember those that love you. Scour through the archives for evidence of your courage, your joy, your inherent worthiness. ... Look for more evidence of your lovability than your fallibility Our four week Cultivating Self-Compassion live online course starts this Wednesday, 7:30-9pm on Zoom. Here we will learn how to offer ourselves compassion and deepen our connection to ourselves. More info on website (link in bio) or DM me. Beth

12.01.2022 I recently listened to Tami Simon @soundstrue interview Elizabeth Lesser @elizlesser about power, particularly female power. She used this phrase Do no harm, Take no shit Strong back, soft front is a term often used in meditation. The posture of a steady, upright back with soft shoulders, soft belly, soft jaw and open chest evokes the feeling of dignity, belonging and power alongside vulnerability and openness. It’s a beautiful metaphor for how to be in the world. If my ba...ck is strong and straight I can risk being open. If I am open and that’s all I am then I am too sensitive. If I am strong and that’s all I am, I am an asshole. If I am strong and soft the way meditation teaches me to be then I can actually be in the world and do some good while I’m here. Do no harm. Take no shit.

12.01.2022 What is a meditation anchor? And do you need one? The word anchor is commonly used in meditation as a metaphor for the object you return your attention to over and over again. Having this as a primary focus is offered as a technique to help steady the mind. Most commonly this anchor is the breath but it could be the feeling of your hands, the pressure of your body against the seat, a mantra (repeated word or phrase), sounds or really anything simple and sensory.... The metaphor of the anchor can be both helpful and problematic. When we first come to meditation we might feel utterly at sea in the presence of our mind and body. What does an anchor do? It keeps you still. Great. I feel less at sea. But with too strong an attachment to the anchor there may also be a sense that you are prevented from going anywhere. It may lead you to indiscriminately distrust your thoughts and impulses - the inner terrain of your own mind and heart - and to feel it unwise to explore them. I’ve taught many students who have found having an anchor useful. And many who have found it frustratingly difficult, onerous or excessive. Some have previously given up on meditation believing themselves to have too unruly a mind. Personally I like both freedom and support in my practice and I like to give options to students so they can learn to discern and trust for themselves what feels interesting, useful, playful and also supportive. It’s worth considering that we might need different approaches, or a different anchor, at different times. And that there is also the option to go exploring with an open awareness practice. Perhaps the way we hold the anchor is also worth considering. And whether the anchor we have chosen is right for us. Perhaps even the word anchor could do with a little revision. My colleague Matt Young @melbournemeditationcentre prefers rudder - something that keeps you balanced as you move and explore. And maybe there’s something to be learnt out (in) there at sea if you feel the urge to dive in unfettered Do you always use a meditation anchor? What works for you? Thank you to @themodernmeditator.me for the inspiration for this post

12.01.2022 Using self-compassion when your emotions are rattled: Yesterday’s story. After a bitty kind of a morning Ben and I decided to drive down to Point Addis to nourish the kids, dog and ourselves with fresh air and a nature fix. As we arrived our daughter refused to get out of the car. A little anger arose in me. This shouldn’t be happening. After some cajoling we got her out, in tears, stiff and resistant. She was stuck in the story of this not being as it should be. I was ni...ce, I was understanding, I was irritated, I was snippy, I was flipping about between these things. The boys and dog went ahead while I was tasked with the job of teasing her down the stairs. A task I didn’t really wish to take on. Halfway down, her tears and anger still coming, a little skink ran out in front of us. Our attention captured for a moment. A welcome circuit breaker. There’s this point in any difficult emotional experience where we have the opportunity to break the circuit. And that break happens when we notice we’re caught in resistance and say yes, ok then to what’s actually happening. We let go of our one directional agenda. When we stop pushing against our reality then we can listen with kindness and openness to what it is that’s really required to move gracefully through it. It turns out Edie had remembered an uncomfortable experience she’d had at this beach and needed reassurance. She didn’t need me to force her to do what I wanted and I didn’t need to push to make it happen. It happened once I said yes and leant into it. In witnessing her tears I recalled times where, as a child, I had felt resistance to being where my parents had taken me. This helped me realign my response to be as I would have liked to have been responded to in those times. A lot happens inside us when we are triggered; be open to listening to it. Once we notice, accept, soften and get curious a new path may emerge. When did you last get triggered? And how did you break the cycle? #alwayslearning

12.01.2022 Before I check out for 2020 I wanted to say a huge thank you to my incredible students and coaching clients who have adapted to new ways of learning, shared their vulnerability and growth and created community with others. It truly is an honour and a joy to share space with you in this way and to do this work There’s been a lot happening quietly behind the scenes for me in recent months and I’ll be back to share that with you soon! May 2021 reveal the fruits of our collecti...ve hopes and dreams! In the meantime if you’re already keen to tee up a hopeful start to 2021 our Term One schedule is up on our website (link in bio) including: Cultivating Self-Compassion Online Course - 5wks starting Monday 18th Jan. Meditation & Mindfulness for Beginners - 6wks starting Tuesday 2nd Feb, Newtown. These courses are rich and enjoyable experiences for new and experienced meditators or really for anyone interested in personal development. Our aim is to support people in feeling more at home in their lives. May you be safe, well, happy and feel loved these holidays. See you on the other side! With love, Beth

07.01.2022 J O Y and self-compassion. Learning to be more self-compassionate has been like coming home for me. Like finding myself finally fitting into the person I’d like to be. And this is why there is more joy, more often. Meditation and self-compassion can help us to be more attuned to the world around us as well as within us, help us more skilfully respond to difficult emotions (rather than suppress them - hello toxic positivity!), understand ourselves more deeply, be genuinely kin...der to ourselves and feel more connected and less isolated. The beautiful thing is that, as you become more willing to really feel your emotions, you also become better able to really feel things like love, gratitude, optimism and joy. As you begin to be more curious and kind in your own inner life it becomes much easier to extend that curiosity and kindness to others creating deeper more loving connections and greater skill in managing relationship challenges. As you make your well-being a priority you are more likely to make decisions in line with your values and needs leading to greater life satisfaction and a sense of meaning and purpose. I know this to be true in my own life - and that is why I share it with others! Imagine a world where people were more self-compassionate. What might that look like? Cultivating Self-Compassion Course starts tomorrow, Monday 18th Jan, 5 weeks, 7:30-9pm via Zoom. See events page for details or visit www.geelongmeditationcentre.com.au Beth

04.01.2022 ...And we’ll also have a lot more joy in living. A good reminder as we’re being thrown around by the silly season. A pause can make a huge difference. A pause might look like: Taking 3-7 deep full breaths.... Mindfully drinking a cup of tea without scrolling. Sitting outside for 2-5 mins listening to sounds, enjoying smells and sights. Lying on the couch and listening to a favourite song uninterrupted. Placing hands on heart, breathing and asking yourself What do I need right now? Take care.

04.01.2022 I hear many students saying that they avoid meditation or forget to meditate when they’re wound up. This is probably the time meditation can be of most obvious benefit but also the time that meditation can be a bit of a challenge. Here are a few tips for meditating when you’re wound up.

03.01.2022 How can we learn to better tolerate, even befriend, our most uncomfortable feelings? Learning to expand our capacity to feel is nothing short of life changing but, boy, can it be difficult! It’s good to start by familiarising ourselves with what it is to be centred, present and grounded. Many people find imagery and metaphor helpful here: The solid, steady mountain, or the strong, tall, deeply rooted tree can be useful metaphors to help cultivate the presence and posture that... will support us to safely notice, turn toward and actually feel our feelings. Once centred and grounded we can become more curious and wisely and compassionately respond to the ever changing weather of our emotional lives. Try sitting with the image of a tree or mountain in mind for a few moments; maybe imagining the body taking on the qualities of either image, and see how this affects both body and mind. Fred Kearney

02.01.2022 #selfcompassion

02.01.2022 Some feedback from a participant of our last Cultivating Self-Compassion Online course. Next course starts Monday 18th Jan. For more details check out our website www.geelongmeditationcentre.com.au

01.01.2022 A N G E R ~ Owning and understanding our anger and then learning to work with it is incredibly empowering. Whilst scurrying around the house tidying up today I came across this angry little guy - one of my daughter’s creations. It lead me to reflect on how I’ve been exploring anger a lot in my life and work recently and how much growth and confidence has come from that. Reflecting on how we relate to anger is a really rich, fertile area of inquiry. We need anger. Anger is a...n essential emotion that helps us protect our boundaries, act with courage and live by our values yet many of us have not grown up seeing healthy presentations of anger. I appreciate these are massive generalisations, but typically women are told to suppress it and men are encouraged to use it to undermine others. If we have learnt to avoid, suppress or swallow it we may find ourselves sitting in resentment, apathy, disappointment or sadness. When we do express it could bring with it fear and may feel unwieldy and confronting leading us to experience guilt and shame. I have known both of these patterns to play out in my own life. Anger takes many forms: mild irritation, frustration, and, at the other end of the scale, rage and fury. What is your relationship with anger? How do you work with the fiery energy it brings? Next time you feel a little angry you might like to: first pause to notice how anger feels in your body. ask yourself, what is the deeper need beneath this anger? What is important to me here? What am I protecting? And see if it is possible to harness and work with the energy of your anger by taking a positive action that aligns with your values. I heard a great expression this week from Elizabeth Lesser that might help Do no harm, Take no shit - my new mantra