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Goldie the Clown

Phone: +61 416 111 703



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25.01.2022 Lucky I have friends during this time!



25.01.2022 People ask me all the time what my clown car’s name is, for 25 years I’ve been trying to think of one, but I’ve always come up with nothing. I figured one day the appropriate name would come to me. Finally I’m happy to announce, my clown car has a name. We introduced this new gag into the routine last night, and it got just the right amount of yes’s and no’s that I was hoping for

23.01.2022 Here’s a few photos from Kaden’s birthday party I did last Friday. My first birthday party in 12 years, my only gig ever for just 1 kid. It was a great lesson to me that it doesn’t matter if I’m clowning to thousands of people in an arena, hundreds of people in a circus tent or 1 person in a living room, it’s all fun. Thank you to Kaden’s family for permission to share these photos.

23.01.2022 A kid said to me today Clown, I love you more than jelly shots Bahahahaha!!!!!!!!



23.01.2022 The clown In isolation.

22.01.2022 Meditation time

21.01.2022 I tell ya this kid is so lucky to be learning from a master of magic like me.



20.01.2022 I dont want to talk about it. Lets just say the pharmacy thing didnt work out

20.01.2022 Today was a day of firsts. The first job for 2020... 240 days into the year The first birthday party Ive done in 12 years. The first time Ive driven in my clown outfit in a long long time, I only had 3 accidents, pretty good. And the first time Ive done a birthday party for just one kid. ... I have another job tomorrow, watch out on the roads. See more

20.01.2022 TBT. Front page Dubbo photo news March 2015. I love feeling stressed? Wear a tie like this for a day!!!

19.01.2022 Happy Father’s Day everybody!!!

19.01.2022 I found this old Dreamworld cup with Me and the Wizz on it in my clown car. Im not sure many of these would still exist and if they do I wonder if theyre in the same condition as this one, I thought id better take a photo if it before it turns to dust



18.01.2022 I wont lie, all the ventures Ive tried during the pandemic have been failures. The Goldie law firm got sued, Virgin airlines rejected my $37.50 buyout offer, and Goldie burgers was closed down because of that whole stupid Ibis faeces debacle. So tonight I start as night filler at the local grocery store. Wish me luck!!!!

18.01.2022 My clown car had some repairs done today, getting ready for our circus tour.

17.01.2022 I was cleaning out the cupboards recently and found this old Goldie ad from a 1940s magazine. #3 in my vintage poster collection

16.01.2022 One month of Hudsons circus done!! These photos are from my new wedding gag, which has been going brilliantly since day one. MAFS circus style!!

16.01.2022 Ive been sacked from my grocery store night filling job. Apparently sampling all the produce before placing it on the shelves is not allowed.

15.01.2022 The famous Goldie Burgers Menu! Grand opening tomorrow!!! Now Ive just gotta find a place to open it, and buy tables and cutlery and napkins and stuff.

15.01.2022 Goldie teaches mini Goldie the magical magic dove pan magic.

14.01.2022 Circus parade 1991. Somewhere in Queensland Im not sure where maybe Biloela. I used to love doing parades like this when the circus would come to town I dont think anyone has done anything like this for a long time.

14.01.2022 Very excited to release the first sneak peak of my new album. Early reviews are positive!!!! Rolling stone says Goldies 25th studio album is his best yet In stores everywhere from today!

14.01.2022 Ok so apparently to be a real estate agent youve got to do a course and be certified and stuff, also you cant just find old houses and say youre selling them because apparently someone still owns them. Theres so many rules in the real world I cant keep up. The good news is Ive finally found a place for my Goldie burgers restaurant, the sign is up now. Look forward to seeing you all there.

14.01.2022 My one and only political post for this very challenging year! Thanks for reminding me of this quote Denise Arribas!

14.01.2022 On Saturday I had another gig, number 3 for 2020, and again it was something different to anything I’ve ever done before. I was hired to ad some colour and extra fun to Laraine’s Pink girls night in supporting the cancer council. I greeted the guests at the door with champagne, I worked the bar, I handed out prizes, and at the end I got into my wedding dress for the first time in many years. ... Thank you Laraine for hiring me, it was a lot of fun.

14.01.2022 One of my favourite shots from last years EKKA.

14.01.2022 So a few months ago these two jokers came to visit me to pitch me an idea for a show they wanted to do. An idea to do something pretty different than I’ve ever done before. And because I had lost all my work because of covid, because I had nothing else to do, because I’d been heavily drinking chocolate milkshakes for several days straight, and because I am an idiot, I said yes to being a part of their crazy idea. I’m looking forward to being a part of their brilliance and madness.

12.01.2022 Happy Fathers Day everybody!!!

11.01.2022 This is mini Goldie peaking out at the crowd from behind the curtain. And what a great crowd tonight, I haven’t heard this sound for a long time. The second week at North Lakes is starting with a bang!!!

09.01.2022 Some of my circus friends have been doing trick a day may, every day for the month of May they do a different trick, its awesome!!! So Im going to do it too!!! This is my trick, the heavy ball juggle, each ball weighs 5 kilos each, very dangerous, very scary, drum roll please.

08.01.2022 So apparently its unacceptable to sample the products at bottle shops too and it doesnt matter if they look tasty and it doesnt matter if you were just trying to make sure the customers would like them and especially if the boss has already told you twelve times. This job thing is rough.

07.01.2022 Circa asked me to be a part of this video project called this is circus so here I am in this video. So does that mean I can put on my resumè now that... A. Ive done a project with Circa? B. I worked with Circa? ... C. I featured in Circa? D. I am Circas new artistic director? E. I am Circa? F. I put butter on Circa and ate it with jam and cream? E part 2. Im bored and coming up with too many things relating to this Circa thing? G. Coming in 2021 Circa is producing a new show titled jam and cream which will tour the world and Goldie will be the inspiration and lead, no no the sole performer. H. Ok Ill stop now. I. Just one more. J. I own Circa? K. Should I do the whole alphabet? L. In 2024 Goldie was performing his 7049th show with Circa when he tripped on Circa and bumped his head on Circa and died from Circa. M. Woah that last one got a bit dark, now Im scared of Circa. N. Goldie the clown retires from clowning and has a new job cleaning the seats for Circa... much safer. O. In 2023 while cleaning seats, Goldie got caught in one of those folding seats that fancy theatres have and was trapped for several days, he tried to survive by eating the feathers on his feather duster but unfortunately there werent enough feathers to sustain him. A funeral service will be held for Goldie on 8/4/2023, only 6 people can attend due to restrictions cause by the Budweiser virus. P. He he he. P!!! Q. Woah O was darker than L, I think Ill stick with clowning. S. Damn, I forgot R!!!! T. I havent mentioned Circa for the last few letters, Ill make up for it here. Circa Circa Circa. U. If youre still reading this youre more bored than I am, you could just watch the video and not read this nonsense. V W X. Is it cheating to do multiple letters? Y. Because I gotta!!!! Z. I did it, the whole alphabet. Ok now back to waiting for Cirqu du Soleil to message me, should be any minute now. See more

07.01.2022 I was cleaning out the cupboards recently and found this old Goldie ad from a 1940’s magazine. #3 in my vintage poster collection

07.01.2022 Its been 2 months since I filmed my last stupid clown video, and today I was cleaning up and found old Bobo lying under the piano, a bit wrinkly and deflated but still colourful and adorable.... kinda like me In my last video old Bobo appeared to me as the embodiment of all clowns from through the ages to inform me that it was my responsibility to film more things.... and I havent filmed a single damn thing since!!! Hahaha!! Whoops sorry Bobo. Ill get onto it i promise.

07.01.2022 Heres a few photos from Kadens birthday party I did last Friday. My first birthday party in 12 years, my only gig ever for just 1 kid. It was a great lesson to me that it doesnt matter if Im clowning to thousands of people in an arena, hundreds of people in a circus tent or 1 person in a living room, its all fun. Thank you to Kadens family for permission to share these photos.

07.01.2022 Exciting news!!!! Ive entered negotiations to buy virgin Australia. If all goes well (and its looking really positive at the moment) well be opening under the new name been around

07.01.2022 Heres a little video and photo montage of our act at the EKKA last year. Its fun to be a part of the EKKA, we were sad it had to be cancelled in 2020 and hope its back bigger and better than ever in 2021.

06.01.2022 I used to have a magic prop where you would put someones head in a box, then put little swords through the box, then open the front of the box and show the audience that the persons head had totally disappeared. It was cool!!! However around 1992 at one of my first ever kids birthday parties I performed it, and response of the children was, well it was kind of like this I dont think I ever tried it again!

06.01.2022 We came, we saw, we clowned!! Thank you to all who saw us, we had a ball and lots of laughs. It’s pretty special to be performing again.

06.01.2022 After a great preview performance last night tonight is the night to open the G.O.A.T show!!!! Tonight and tomorrow only. This show is crazy!!!!!!!!

05.01.2022 So apparently clowns have our own week, and its international, its international clown week, and we have Richard Nixon to thank for it, what a great guy, another famous clown that rose to become the most powerful person in the world and in classic clown style shot himself in the foot, but at least he did this one good thing and made an international clown week. How is it that Ive been a clown for 29 years and Im only just finding out I have my own week. What should I do with my own week?

05.01.2022 #2 in my vintage poster collection

04.01.2022 Showtime in Warwick with Ashton Entertainment. 3 shows today!! Last night was awesome fun, I’ll share some photos/video from that soon.

04.01.2022 Happy to announce that after my recent job failures Im starting a new job today in the local pharmacy.

04.01.2022 Goldie and Mini Goldie perform the world famous tablecloth trick. Described by some as mesmerising, spellbinding, shockernating. Once again Goldie displays his mastery of the ancient tricks that have been passed down through the ages, and now he's humbly passing his knowledge on to the next generation.

03.01.2022 Ok so the grocery store thing didnt turn out, but thats ok because today I start working in the local bottle shop.

02.01.2022 This morning’s sensory friendly ASD show at Hudsons Circus was probably the best one we’ve ever had, or maybe I’ve just forgotten how great they can be. Big audience and they were so engaged and receptive, it was a joy to be a part of. It’s a special thing to be able to perform for these kids who usually aren’t able to attend a live performance. Thank you to all who attended this morning

02.01.2022 After being fired on the first day from every job Ive had recently, Ive decided to start my own business. Introducing Goldie Real Estate. Open home inspections 24 hours a day 7 days a week because there are no doors on any of the properties Im handling. Goldie real estate the face you can trust to sell your house!

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