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Greig Phillpot Psychologist

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25.01.2022 A Full Years Resolution. Did you make a New Years resolution and have you managed to keep it or it was broken quickly. This resolution, which I am offering, is not limited to NYE but is a resolution that is useful at any time of the year and for a lifetime.... The resolution is to take responsibility for your life. Responsibility literally means the ability to respond. The alternative is to be a victim. To blame everyone else for what happens to you. To have no ability to respond or change to what is happening in your life or to direct your future. This is a powerful choice to make in life and also not easy. It requires the capacity and desire to reflect on your life. To accept your failure, your mistakes, that shit happens and you just have to deal with it, that in many ways life is a struggle AND to accept that there is always something you can do, even if it is only to lessen the hurtful impact of something. The ability to response will require effort, humility, patience, persistence and probably many others characteristics. The benefit of NOT responding is that you can be lazy, complacent, irresponsible and never have to examine your life. Be a sloth!! Some people profess to like that. But the consequence is you just get whatever life serves up. And there is usually a big cost that goes with that. Having the ability to respond, means you are keen to discover: how you neglect your self, the mistakes you have made, how you have been betrayed, what resourcefulness you have and where you need to grow and develop. But you don’t mentally bash yourself up when you realise the truth, you just appreciate that the information you gain can be used for your benefit. After all, it is important that you are on your side in life and actively working to make your life better. Change requires effort and it’s up to you to decide if you want to make it. That is your ability to respond. For some people good therapy helps them develop the capacity to respond. The benefit of good therapy is that you gain a much better life. Enjoy your day. Seek something meaningful and experience some pleasure. If you like this blog, then please feel welcome to share it. You can book online 24/7 at www.greigphillpot.com

16.01.2022 The Internal Critic part 2. The other very important factor about the internal critic is that it is clearly showing us the relationship we have with ourselves. If the internal critic is fairly subdued and is down the undermining end of the scale, as opposed to the crushing end, then we doubt ourselves, our capacity, our intelligence, our lovability, our acceptance by others and the list goes on and on. It’s obvious that this kind of voice would create a lot of anxiety within ...us. Anxiety disrupts our life, diminishes it, depletes relationships, creates withdrawal even from events we want to participate in. If the internal critic is particularly harsh, with words of contempt towards us - you are useless, you couldn’t do anything right, you’ve never been able to achieve anything, there is no way you can do that, you are pitiful, you will never amount to anything etc. You notice the all encompassing words here - always, never, no way. This voice is showing that the person has been very injured in their life by high levels of criticism and abuse. The attacks are very personal. This person experiences high levels of anxiety, panic attacks, phobias and then even delusions, psychosis - because they are so split off from their real self. What can be done? Through effective therapy the client begins to explore what is happening to them. The therapist treats them in a supportive, caring and loving way. The therapist challenges them around these self-destroying tirades against themselves. The therapist explores where these views developed and begins to create the possibility that the client can begin to direct outwards (within the therapy room) an expression of self-defence, of feeling, finding the words that have been submerged by all the hurt. It is not the client that hates themselves, it is the client that hates what has been done to them and is angry towards the perpetrator. The impact of this is that the client begins to feel empowered, that they matter, that they have a right to their feelings and expression of those feelings. No longer is it necessary to repress. This creates enormous change and the internal critic begins to be subdued as the client begins to love themselves again. This is a small snippet into the enormous benefit that effective therapy can provide to people who have been severely hurt in their life. Medicare and private health fund rebates available. You can book online 24/7 at www.greigphillpot.com

16.01.2022 Is crying useful? Well, that depends. There are different types of crying. One type is teary/weepiness which is not connected to sadness - which is the emotion that can produce crying. Teariness, is the expression of a hopeless/helpless state that is wanting to be rescued. It is wanting to be noticed and to be taken care of. This type of crying isn't very useful for someone and will not produce a sense of relief and possibly produces a sense of even deeper desperation in the... person. If you notice this, you may just be feeling sorry for yourself - poor me. This type of crying can remain throughout someone's life. See if you can pull yourself up, stop the crying and take some action that is useful for you - no matter how small. Make a cup of tea. Have a shower. Call a friend who you enjoy talking to. Seek therapy. Crying that is the expression of deep sadness, is a process that lets the emotion of sadness that has been repressed and unable to get to the surface, complete it's task. At this point the person has stopped repressing, denying, avoiding, censoring or diminishing some pain they feel about an experience of life. At this point the person has stopped ignoring themselves and has moved to being on their side and is not fighting the emotion any more. At this point deep sadness can come to the surface and when it is complete the person will just stop crying and know that, that is all for the moment. This person will experience a great sense of relief and lightness. This has been a compassionate act for this person towards themselves. This sadness is now gone, it may not be all of it at one time, but the body will just regulate this process and know when enough is enough. In this experience the person begins to be aware that their emotions are on their side and the need to avoid and ignore themselves is lessened. This is true and experienced change. I have had people that have been in therapy with me who have been crying about en event that occurred 40 years ago and they have held that pain in their body for that amount of time. Repressing it didn't enhance their life, it diminished it. Time didn't heal it, it never does. The emotion just sits there in their body waiting for the chance to come to the surface and be felt. That is the function of emotion. The benefit of good therapy is that you gain a much better life. Enjoy your day. Seek something meaningful and experience some pleasure. If you like this blog, then please feel welcome to share it. You can book online 24/7 at www.greigphillpot.com

05.01.2022 I have been thinking lately, about: The Essentials of Therapy. If I could give a gift to every client, that they would always have with them, what would it be??? Well, I couldn't limit it to just one, but this is my first. (Part 1.) It's an awareness that I have in my own life, as well, and it has been extremely useful for me. The Internal Critic... So many of us have this nagging internal voice or dialogue that does anything from undermine us to completely crush us. This internal dialogue is not a psychotic voice, it's just the chatter that goes on and on and on, inside our head. It makes us self doubt, it makes us procrastinate, delay, put off. It paralyses us and stops us from making decisions. It can criticise, belittle and shame us. We weren't born with this voice, we learnt it along our life path, usually early on in life. It wasn't true about us or if it was to some degree, then it was constantly reinforced by someone who had no idea of a constructive way to help us grow and develop. Sadly, it is often a parent or care giver. We begin to be defined by this internal critic. When something goes wrong and we need compassion and understanding, the internal critic comes to the fore and smashes us even more. Thus, we heap burning coals onto an already injured 'us'. When I ask clients how they would respond to someone else. They reply that they would be supportive, encouraging and show empathy. But not to themselves. Clients have said to me that they never knew that this internal critic, could be silenced. Well, it can and what a difference it makes to peoples lives. The process requires perseverance and determination, as most goals of any value do. But it is not arduous or stressful. It is just a constant response to stop what is an habitual internal dialogue. The neuroscience tells us what we need to do, to make this enormous change. You can book online, 24/7 at www.greigphillpot.com. Good therapy changes lives.

01.01.2022 A great TED talk on Depression and the reality of an effective method. Antidepressant medication is clearly not working. You can book online 24/7 at www.greigphillpot.com https://bit.ly/2pqXucN