Heidi Rogers in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia | Psychotherapist

Heidi Rogers

Locality: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

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• Medical and health
• Family therapist
• Psychotherapist

25.01.2022 Ready to start enjoying parenting? Awesome ! Check out this simple 2-step strategy to start improving your parenting experience immediately. If it resonates, you can book a free 30minute chat with me to see if the Total Parenting Transformation program is for you https://go.oncehub.com/rogersds

24.01.2022 Try as we might, we can't control our kids. We may think we can do it, but what we're really seeing is compliance. And that ain't going to last forever (just ask the parents of any teenager)! All we have with our children, particularly as they get older, is influence. ... You CAN impose your will, revoke privileges, punish them, and achieve what you may think is control, but in actuality, it’s just an illusion. If you fixate on control, and they get in a tricky situation and need your help, it’s unlikely they’ll come to you for help. What about when they’re a teenager? Are you going to lock them in the house to stop them from sneaking out? ‘Control’ isn’t sustainable. To wield influence effectively, we need connection. When have you ever been influenced by someone who you didn’t feel connected to? When we fixate on controlling our children, we erode connection. The result? We have less influence over our children and set ourselves up for more power struggles, conflict, and being kept out of the loop with their problems and concerns especially as they get older. This snippet is from a recent webinar where I touched on connection, control, and influence. I'd love to hear your thoughts on control vs influence - it's always a contentious topic!

19.01.2022 With the holidays just around the corner, various traditions are rolling out and a LOT of parents have again opened their homes to The Elf on The Shelf. Some parents love the magic and fun that he brings... For others, it’s the bane of their existence.... And a few people probably have no idea what I’m talking about! Regardless of where you sit on the spectrum, I recently had a parent ask me my thoughts on the ‘ol Elf ...so I thought I’d share them! Where do you sit in The Elf on The Shelf debate? Love it or hate it? Would love to hear from you!

12.01.2022 I wanted to share this with you as it applies to 99.9% of the parent population... I had a member ask on a recent group call how to avoid putting their past emotional wounding onto their children. They were often triggered by their child’s behavior, and this usually resulted in a disproportionate response (typically, yelling).... The thing is, their partner never had the same kind of reaction to the same behavior that sent them flying off the handle. Why? It all comes down to unresolved wounds from the past triggering us to respond unconsciously. I share my thoughts about how to begin our own internal work in this Q&A call snippet. It’s a huge topic to discuss, and I haven’t covered it all here - if you’re interested in a webinar on working with your own triggers, let me know!

11.01.2022 Here's a neat little trick you might want to try out the next time your child has to confront an anxiety-provoking situation they can't avoid (think: school camp, swimming lessons, going to a birthday party - anything your child gets anxious about). Try setting an anchor point they can look forward to once it’s all over. What is an anchor point?... It's a future state your child can envision that helps them through a difficult situation (think going to a friend's house, visiting the park, or watching a favorite TV show). I talk all about anchor points, how they differ from bribes (and why this is important!), when to use them, and ideas to try with your children in this week's 3 Minute Parenting Playbook. Comment below or DM if you'd like to learn more!

11.01.2022 Parents are meant to be protectors. We’re there to stop our kids feeling pain or distress, because that’s our job, right? Wrong. In nearly 20 years of working with families, I’ve found the most resilient, self-confident and happy children have parents who act as *guides* through pain, rather than shielding them from it. Counterintuitive, right?... In this week’s 3 Minute Parenting Playbook we unpack the importance of teaching our children they can tolerate and overcome discomfort - and in the process - build their confidence to face difficult situations in the future. It’s an extraordinary mindset shift for creating resilient, confident kids. Comment below or DM if you agree (or not!).

11.01.2022 Anger, anyone? That's me in 1985 - Angry Me. The shot was taken at Sears, in Del Amo Mall, Torrance, California. It 'should' have been a nice family photo. But as we all know...children have their own agenda. And we certainly can't MAKE them smile.... This picture hangs in my parents' hallway to this day. We laugh about it now, but back then?? ... My parents were furious that I 'ruined' the photo and they 'wasted' their money on a professional photo session ... and I was clearly angry I had to sit and pose for yet another picture It's a perfect example of how our angry kids can trigger us into an angry response, which then results in a fuel + fuel FIRE that rages and burns. Us adults expect a lot of our kids in managing their emotions ... when they're just not neurologically developed to the point where they know HOW to regulate their emotions. And if we're being honest, how many adults actually know how to keep their cool and not snap or yell?! Not sure how you would actually react if that Sears photoshoot happened to YOUR family today? Join the club! A lot of us like to think we'd remain calm, but I hear stories constantly of 'I just lost it with her' - 'I'm afraid of my own anger' or, 'he gets so ragey/destructive that I actually feel scared of my son during a meltdown'. Ringing any bells?! That’s why I’ve scheduled a LIVE webinar + Q&A THIS Wednesday night to show you how to effectively manage anger and stress: yours AND theirs. Register here www.heidilinks.com/anger Join me to further equip your 'toolkit' on anger and stress, and build your understanding of: What to do when a child gets angry...and how NOT to handle it! How to stop yelling, even if it seems it's 'the only way they'll listen'. Strategies for managing sibling conflict and fighting. How we can model effective management of anger and stress in order to help our children do the same. The role of emotional literacy in regulating our thoughts and behavior. How to identify your emotional triggers and prevent them from activating. Tag any friends, parents, teachers or principals below who may have a 1985 Angry Heidi in their home/school!