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Her Time

Phone: +61 437 908 083

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23.01.2022 Letting go of expectations and perfection means letting go of unworthiness, jealousy, resentment, unhappiness, disconnectedness and aloneness. Imagine what that makes room for #healing #hertime #counselling #womensupportingwomen

22.01.2022 Grief is a normal part of any loss. Yet many women feel guilt or are shamed for grieving someone who has hurt them or someone they were forced to leave. And they can be fearful of sharing their grief with others because of stigma and judgement. Disenfranchised grief is a term for grief that your not supposed to have. Fleeing, escaping, leaving, or being left by the abuser in a domestic violence relationship can be described as this kind of grief. ... But all grieving or mourning is an important process in the life/death/rebirth cycle. You grieve the loss of your partner. You grieve the loss of the idea of the relationship. You grieve the lost hope. You grieve the loss of a future together. You grieve for the children. You grieve the loss of the fairytale. You grieve the loss of your dreams. You grieve the loss of the woman you were. You grieve for as long as you need. If you or a woman you know would like Her Time counselling or support, phone or text 0437 908 083 or email [email protected] #hertime #traumarecovery #healing #womensupportingwomen #counselling #grief

21.01.2022 Ownership and Control is what killed Hannah Clarke and her three children, not a psychopath, not mental health, not drugs, and not alcohol. On a continuum, Hannah’s ex-partners level of control was at the extreme end, yet this is not unusual. There are thousands and thousands of women walking on eggshells or living in fear right now, from the ‘good mate, the top bloke, the larrikin, the hard working family man, the good dad, the football hero, the grandfather, the high sch...ool sweetheart’. Men who won’t let women out of their sight, men who won’t let women lead their own lives, men who won’t let women have their own friends, men who won’t let women wear what they want, and men who won’t let women leave a relationship. Men who fear losing what they think is theirs to own. Men who threaten suicide and men who threaten to keep the children or kill the children if she leaves. Because all men who use control use children as pawns in their game. Men who tell women they are nothing without them and men who tell women if you leave I will kill you, or your family, or your dog. Men who tell women they are never safe. These are the men who harm or kill women and children. Ordinary men who cannot stand seeing women as human beings with equal rights. Ordinary men who cannot stand seeing their partner as individuals in their own right. Ordinary men who believe that their partners are objects to own and possess. Ordinary men who turn to rage and violence when they see themselves as losing what is ‘theirs’. #itseveryonesbusiness. All men and all women need to stand against the objectification, the sexualisation, the ownership of women. Talk to your mates at work, at the pub, your brothers, your friends, call it out when you hear it. See through the men who force women to stay, or who use control to keep her stuck. Call out the men who see themselves as superior. These are the men who put women down. These are the men who play the victim. These are the men who won’t look at their shadow selves, and these are the men who rage when they feel they are losing control. And most of all believe her. We are all in this together for a better life for everyone. RIP beautiful family

18.01.2022 Grief is one of the hardest of emotions to walk through. Whilst your body is throwing up the immense pain of loss, your mind throws out all of the hooks including the ‘what if’s, maybe’s, should of’s, could of’s, and to hell with it’s’ that it can think of. Seeking relief from the pain of the process, the mind will happily have you hooked back into the toxicity of what you left or had to walk away from in the first place. Because it wants to tell you you can’t cope. But yo...u can. Even if every part of you screams that you can’t. It takes time, lots of time. It takes some courage. Slowly with lots of support. Gently with lots of self love. Quietly with space. And gradually with lots of awakening awareness and knowing that you deserved better all along. If you or a woman you know would like support, phone or text Karen on 0437 908 083 or email [email protected]

18.01.2022 Awakened memories held in the body caused by past incidences of trauma can be frightening. It is why lots of women who have experienced violence and abuse in their lives drink, take drugs, medicate, or build protectors around them. Protectors can include anxiety, depression, control, anger, emotional shutdown, co-dependency, rigidity, people pleasing etc. ... If you are finding that your coping strategies are no longer working or you want to work on having healthier coping mechanisms, Her Time can support you. Medicare rebate available with a GP mental health care plan. Telehealth options of zoom, phone, Skype or FaceTime as well as face to face appointments available. DM Her Time or phone or text Karen on 0437 908 083. Art by The Rosey Project. #womensupportingwomen #hertime #counselling #trauma #healing #womenswork

15.01.2022 Love, Light and Protection

15.01.2022 Sometimes it’s so hard to see through emotional abuse. Especially when the other person uses tactics such as gas lighting. ‘I didn’t say that’. ‘I didn’t do that’. ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about’. ‘You’re crazy’. ‘You need meds’. ‘Nobody would ever believe you’. ‘You’re the controlling one’. ... When someone denies, dismisses or completely changes the reality of an event. And then makes out you’re crazy, or goes completely off the deep end, because you were trying to say that it happened in the way you believe it did, it’s incredibly confusing. And because it is usually so covert, hidden amongst some niceness, buy back to throw you off, or perfect image management, it’s even harder to put your finger on what’s actually happening. Self doubt creeps in, despair sets in, and overtime the ability to trust yourself fully with anything is often gone. If you feel this is happening for you, it can be helpful to have a specialised domestic violence worker unpack it with you. You’re not crazy, nor are you alone. If you or a woman you know needs a domestic and family violence trauma specialist. Someone who knows how hard it is to stay. To leave. Or to overcome the impacts of emotional abuse. Phone or text Karen on 0437908083 or email [email protected] #womensupportingwomen #hertime #trauma #domesticviolence #womenscounselling #telehealth

15.01.2022 Any toxic relationship can leave you in tatters. Bits of you can be lost, broken, hurt, shattered, confused, angry and/or sad. You often no longer feel like the woman (or girl) you once were. She is but a dream, a long lost blurry memory. During it you can feel numb. Shamed. Disconnected. Worthless. ... And when it’s over, gathering up the pieces to make you whole again, is often overwhelming. Trying to work out where, or what to start with, even more so. Trying to find the stolen parts of you a seemingly impossible task. And then trying to keep the pieces of you together and functioning, can feel like a daily battle. Toxic relationship healing and recovery starts by acknowledging and soothing the pain. It is in honouring the courage. It is with grieving the losses. It is in reclaiming your worth. It is in the journey of gentleness, kindness and love. It is in the slow reintegration of the self. Her Time is a service for women who have experienced domestic or family violence and who are seeking support for any of the impacts this has had on them. Anxiety, depression, low self esteem/worth, despair and hopelessness, fear, anger, isolation, trauma, or past relationships protectors crossing over into current relationships. If you or a woman you know would like to discuss counselling support, Phone Karen on 0437 908083 or email [email protected] Telehealth and bulk billing available to women with a GP MHCP. Art from Pinterest.

14.01.2022 If you were to ask your wise older self what she thought you should do in any given situation, what would she say? Trust Yourself. Know Yourself. Listen to what your body is telling you. ... Heed red flags. Watch for patterns. Don’t fall in love with the idea of love. Don’t fall for promises to change. Know your Worth. See more

13.01.2022 Women need women supporting them as much as they need men. And women who have the deep emotional support of women and close woman friendships can feel less isolated and more connected. Traditionally women lived in communities of women, young and old, who assisted them understand life, taught them the ways of old, birthed their children, cared for their children. Provided them with emotional support, encouraged them to laugh, supported them to cry, mourned with them and celeb...rated with them. Women also stand up for other women, fight for their rights and tend to their wounds when they’re hurt. As society moved from collectivist to individualist some women were encouraged, not to see other women as allies and friends, but as competitors and enemies of each other’s marriages, relationships and men. Even competition between mothers and daughters can be encouraged as a result of abusive or toxic societies and relationships. When women are encouraged to see themselves as having to compete against each other for approval, attention and worthiness, they can become increasingly angry, jealous, judgemental and mean spirited. This not only cuts women off from their own deep emotional needs, it cuts her off from other women and sometimes her children. Especially if perpetrators of abuse drive deliberate wedges through mother/child relationships forcing children to compete for their basic emotional needs. Friendship, according to John O’Donohue, is a deep and sacred connection. A friend is a loved one who awakens your life in order to free the wild possibilities within you. Women need friendships, all manner of deep and sacred friendships. Women also need support, all manner of deep and emotional support. If you would like support looking at what abusive relationships and/or past trauma may have left you with, phone or text Karen on 0437 908 083 or email [email protected] (Unfortunately I am unaware of the artist of this beautiful work) #womensupportingwomen

12.01.2022 Somethings we can’t change and one of them is the poor behaviour of another adult in our lives. Eventually we come to realise that no matter how much hope we have, how much effort we put in, how much we change for them or how many false promises are made by them. None of this is going to change the behaviour of someone who is not willing to really see what an experience is like, or has been like, for you. Whether this be ... The way they have treated you in the past. The way they are treating you now. How entitled they feel too control or give you their opinions. What they do, or threaten to do, to themselves that frightens you and/or; What behaviours they have that don’t align with your values. When we get to the point where we understand that we can’t change someone else’s behaviour, the options are limited to - leaving, continuing to put up with the behaviour, or changing the way we deal with it. Whilst it is easy to walk away from a friendship, it is much much harder if the behaviour is coming from someone you love deeply, are significantly attached to, or who you seek worth from. Parents, In-laws, siblings, non-violent partners or adult children. The difficulty is that our own emotions and traumas such as fear, guilt, shame, obligation, jealousy, grief, despair are the drivers of our own behaviours. And these emotions impact greatly on our ability to just let go. Letting go, is one of the hardest things to do because the pain of physically or emotionally walking away feels worse, and sometimes can be worse, than the pain of staying. There is no easy solution to this work. But sometimes it is helpful to change your own emotional boundaries, ie way you see and deal with your own emotions, that helps with the decision of staying or leaving someone who’s behaviours are harming you in some way. For information or to make an appointment with Her Tome please visit www.hertimecounselling.com

12.01.2022 Happy International Women’s Day Beautiful Women #ChooseToChallenge

11.01.2022 Sometimes we just need someone to talk to who understands. Someone who really listens. Someone who helps you understand. ... Someone who helps you find clarity. Someone who truly wants to support you to find yourself again. Someone who believes you can. Someone with life experience who gets it. Her Time is a women’s only counselling service specialising in trauma and domestic and/or family violence, anxiety, depression, grief and loss, relationship stressors, low self esteem, shame or loneliness. Her Time can offer Telehealth services so wherever you are, video or phone counselling is available. Face to Face appointments have also resumed for women living on the Gold Coast. All appointments are bulk billed with a GP MHCP. For more information or to make an appointment phone or text Karen today on 0437 908 083 or email [email protected]

08.01.2022 Happy IWD to all women across the world #iwd2020

07.01.2022 Real beauty is the light that comes from your soul (J.O’Donohue)

06.01.2022 Last week the Federal Govt provided certain health care professionals with the ability to bulk bill appointments over the phone or via Skype etc. This was to support those who are affected by, or who are more vulnerable to, Covid-19 than others in our community. These changes also included provisions for mental health social workers and psychologists to provide counselling and support services over the phone or by Skype. A GP Mental Health Care Plan is required to be able... to be bulk billed. According to the Federal Government Telehealth Website, people who can access these services are - Vulnerable/isolated patients are those where at least one of the following apply: (a) the person has been diagnosed with COVID-19 virus but who is not a patient of a hospital; or (b) the person has been required to isolate themselves in quarantine in accordance with home isolation guidance issued by Australian Health Protection Principal Committee (AHPPC); or (c) the person is considered more susceptible to the COVID-19 virus being a person who is: (i) at least 70 years old; or (ii) at least 50 years old and is of Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander descent; or (iii) is pregnant; or (iv) is a parent of a child under 12 months; or (v) is already under treatment for chronic health conditions or is immune compromised. Please pass this on to people who might need to know this. And from me to you - take care beautiful peoples during all of this. Many in our community are experiencing worry, confusion, uncertainty and fear. You, we, are not alone in this. Love, Light and Protection to us all. Karen Her Time Counselling 0437908083 www.hertimecounselling.com

05.01.2022 Her Time is a specialised women’s counselling service offering bulk billing Telehealth (phone, Skype, zoom or FaceTime) services under a GP MHCP. Her Time specialises in - domestic and family violence ... - anxiety and depression - trauma and PTSD - self esteem and self worth - relationship stressors - grief and loss - feelings of aloneness, isolation and not belonging - anger and resentment Are you looking for a woman counsellor with life experience who really listens and who is here to support you through whatever is happening for you right now. Who understands how hard it is to walk through, leave or cope with current or past violence and abuse. Who will assist you to understand yourself, challenge your thinking and/or who will provide you with tools and resources to cope, Her Time is for you. Phone or text Karen on 0437 908083 or email [email protected] for further information.

05.01.2022 Being held prisoner by your mind means being locked into concretised or rigid negative and/or obsessive thoughts that keep you from living life free of fear and pain. Almost always, the story the mind tells is centred on a negative, judgemental or critical story of you, your shame or your worthlessness, which can stop you from seeing and experiencing your true self and/or it leads to a fear of showing up in the world in any meaningful, creative way. But is the story in your... mind even your own story? Traumatised, abusive, frightened, passive aggressive, mean, bitter and angry people project their own hatred and fears onto those around them. When this happens to you as a child, or when you’re living in a family or domestic violence relationship, their story of themselves or their projection of pain on to you, can become your story of you. Healing from this starts with understanding whose voice is in your head and/or whose story is the one you’ve carried. It means opening to new possibilities of you and to deeply knowing that you are not what they told you you were. Ever. Healing and returning to yourself, takes time and it takes effort. Sometimes years if the brainwashed story has been around for a long time. Getting support can help. Being gentle and kind and tending to the fear or pain they caused you also helps. Loving yourself a little bit more everyday helps even more. If you or any women you know would like support, please phone or text Karen at Her Time on 0437 908083 or email [email protected] Art by @maybell.eequay #womensupportingwomen #hertime #counselling #traumawork

04.01.2022 The coming weeks or perhaps months will be challenging for many women. I want you to know that I hear you, I see you, I feel you and I hold you in my heart. Juggling, often multiple, competing stressors, relationships, children, work, finances, health, family, emotions. ... Placating partners, quietening or keeping children entertained, worrying about relatives. Running households, budgeting finances, wondering what to drop and what to keep, what to pay, what to not. Keeping safe, physically, emotionally, psychologically. Pushing down anger, hurt, frustration, fear. Controlling out of anxiety, lashing out over injustice, obeying out of walking on eggshells, mothering out of guilt. Using whatever it takes to get through, medicating to keep going. Women will endure. Women will survive. Women will cope. Because this is what women do. In times of stress and heartache. In times of happiness and love. Women have hope. Women have always held on to hope. If you or anyone you know would like counselling or support, please phone or text Karen in 0437 908083 or email [email protected] Please visit www.hertimcounselling.com for information on phone and skype appointments. Art by Erin Currie #hertime #counselling #women #womensupportingwomen #hope

02.01.2022 Healing is about taking the time to notice what gets in the way of feeling connected to your life, your community, and your sense of possibility. Healing, at its core, is about slowing down so that we can better listen, to ourselves and each other. (Susan Raffo) ... Art by Duy Huynh. #healing #womensupportingwomen #hertime See more