Inner Melbourne Clinical Psychology in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia | Psychologist

Inner Melbourne Clinical Psychology

Locality: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

Phone: +61 3 9376 1958

Address: Level 9, 85 Queen St 3000 Melbourne, VIC, Australia

Website: https://innermelbpsychology.com.au

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25.01.2022 Wise words. Perhaps easier said than done, but certainly something to aim for! Image description: Teal tile with white text saying few in this world are ever simply nasty: those who hurt us are themselves in pain. The appropriate response is hence never cynicism or aggression but, at the rare moments when one can manage it, always love. ~ Alain de Botton

24.01.2022 Love begins with the experience of being understood in highly supportive and uncommon ways. They grasp the lonely parts of us; we don’t have to explain why we find a particular joke so funny; we hate the same people; we both want to try that specialised sexual scenario. It cannot continue. When we run up against the reasonable limits of our lovers’ capacities for understanding, we mustn’t blame them for dereliction. They were not tragically inept. They couldn’t fully fathom who we were and we could do no better. Which is normal. No one properly gets, or can fully sympathise with, anyone else. ~ Alain de Botto

16.01.2022 Rituals can be an important way for you and your partner to prioritise each other and build a sense of meaning in your relationship. Rituals don’t need to be elaborate or time consuming. They can be small, daily acts that connect couples, but they can of course also be more involved, special celebrations. By building rituals into your relationship, you’re effectively building a culture that makes your partnership special and unique. Some examples of rituals include: How you... say goodbye and hello at the end of your work day The way you spend the first and last part of your day together How you prepare and eat meals together What you do to celebrate birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, milestones or achievements in your life How you spend weekends, time off and holidays Here are some questions that might help to open up a conversation about rituals in your relationship: What were some of the rituals that were important in your family or community growing up? What sort of rituals do you already have in your relationship? In what way do they help you to feel connected? What are some of the rituals you would ideally like to create with your partner? How do you imagine these might help you to build a sense of meaning in your relationship? Image description: three apricot coloured tiles with dark pink text saying the same text as above.

05.01.2022 What if you are the one you’ve been waiting for? What if finding the one is a myth? What if your partner, or future partner, isn’t the answer to life being easier or more fulfilling?... Read more in our latest blog via @melbpsych Image description: A teal tile with white text that says Tile: 1- Choosing a person to marry is hence a matter of deciding exactly what kind of suffering we want to endure, rather than imagining we have found a way to skirt around the rules of emotional existence. We will all by definition end up with that stock character of our nightmares, ‘the wrong person’. Tile 2- This doesn’t need to be a disaster, however. Enlightened Romantic pessimism simply assume that one person can’t be everything to another. We should look for ways to accommodate ourselves as gently and kindly as we can to the awkward realities of living alongside another fallen creature. There can only ever be a good enough marriage. Tile 3- For this realisation to sink in, it helps to have had a few lovers before settling down, not in order to have the chance to locate the right person but in order to have ample opportunity to discover at first hand, and in many different contexts, the truth that there isn’t any such person; and that everyone really is a bit wrong when considered from close up. ~Alain de Botton

01.01.2022 After a big blow up, if you ask someone to describe what their partner did to contribute to the situation, typically they’ll give you a long list. When you ask someone to describe their own role in the conflict though, sometimes the ideas are a little less free-flowing! Getting honest with yourself about the role that you play in conflict in your relationship can be a game changer. ... Next time you and your partner have conflict, consider spending some time reflecting on your own behaviour. As you do this, you might be confronted by what you notice, so try to be gentle on yourself. What role did you play in sparking the conflict? What role did you play in keeping the conflict going? Do you sometimes find yourself blaming, criticising, attacking or shaming your partner? Is there anything that you routinely do or say during conflict that you typically regret after? What sorts of things did you do or say to try to reach out to your partner or to step out of the conflict? Are there any patterns that come up with your current partner that have emerged in previous relationships or that remind you of the way your parents engaged in conflict? If you and your partner are looking for ways to fight better book an appointment with one of our experienced couples therapists. Get in touch via our online booking form below. https://www.innermelbpsychology.com.au/couples-counselling/ Image description: A teal tile with white text that says how do you do conflict?