Kristy Forbes | Educational consultant
Kristy Forbes
Reviews
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24.01.2022 The autistic brain is, by nature, problem seeking AND problem solving. This means I have to feed it, nourish it and intervene before those troublesome problems are found. The human brain is unable to discern between happening-now-reality and memory.... For an autistic person with a more finely tuned threat response, this means we relive those old events when the problem seeking brain happens upon them. Before my eyes even open in the morning, my brain is off, doing it’s thing. It revisits old and negative events that caused me pain, humiliation, sadness or anger. It then invites me to relive and redo (problem solving). This means I go over old conversations and think of all the things I shoulda, coulda, woulda said. It’s a pretty bleak way to start the day! Instead, when I wake, my feet hit that deck and off I go. If my girls aren’t awake and I have some time, I give my autistic brain problems to solve. Coffee, crunchy peanut butter on toast and my little Sudoku book is bliss. Happy brain, still mind. . . . KF
22.01.2022 If you've seen any of my instastories over at instagram.com/_kristyforbes or even my lives here; if you're in our family collective membership then you'll be quite accustomed to seeing me in my pyjamas with my hair all over the place. Some of my best work is done in my pyjamas, and then some days, just being able to get any work done at all, at a minimum means being in my pyjamas. Why?... Because I'm autistic of the pathological demand avoidance kind. This means that I have a hypersensitive threat response and my brain has quite the avid fight, flight, freeze or fawn bank of responses for the entire spectrum that is life. There are many things my brain will message my body NOT to do, and it results in others thinking I'm being stubborn or arrogant. The way I've learnt to handle PDA when it believes it needs to protect me from doing the things I love to do, is to make peace with it and be radically accepting. I've learnt to communicate directly to my brain and bypass my conscious thinking. CBT doesn't work, strategies don't work, reward and punishment doesn't work. Communicating safety works. But it takes time and is often limited in success, meaning as soon as PDA catches on, it may no longer work. There are days where I get so excited about my work that my brain confuses it for threat and steps in to protect me, bringing on instant fatigue, migraines, heightened anxiety, a feeling of impending doom or dread and many, many more interventions as that threat response is there to do it's one job - to keep me alive. I noticed early on that staying in my pjs, grabbing a coffee and heading out to the office allows me to work for hours, uninterrupted and to be extremely productive. Without medication, or any other supports. My neurobiology, my PDA in it's powerful protective nature has only experienced and observed rest and relaxation when I am dressed in PJs. So there's no need for the threat response to be activated, no escalation of anxiety, and off I go. Who knows, I might start rocking up at events where I'm contracted to speak in my pyjamas . The point is, I've learnt to communicate directly with my PDA neurobiology via my sensory channels. Smells, sounds, visuals, aesthetics.. It's a little more complicated than just sniffing, tasting and looking; but it helps me for sure. And yep, obviously I can't go through life in my pyjamas, but there are many other ways I get through tough situations that I choose for myself by communicating through the senses. Stay tuned, in a few weeks, I'll be running a free mini course over a couple of weeks targeted at families wanting to improve their connection and family life whilst raising little PDAers. . . . KF
21.01.2022 Meet Cath, our Business Manager for inTune Pathways AND The Neurodivergent Co.! --------------------- Name: Cath (she/her).... Born in Perth, raised in Tassie, I’ve also lived in Canada, where I developed a (BIG) love of the snow (read: would ‘snow angel’ for days). Currently consuming: TinyHouse videos on YouTube. My favourite things in the world: My two floofballs (Aussie Shepherd dogs). Not a fan of: Not being told when something’s stuck in my teeth! Cath says: "I look forward to meeting and supporting as many of you as possible in some capacity, and deepening my own understandings within the complex and wonderful world of neurodivergence." If you send us an email, participate in any of our programs or attend our live trainings, you'll no doubt come into contact with Cath at some point. Let's be gentle with the newb! I'm so happy to welcome Cath to the team :) xo
17.01.2022 Random Tuesday (is it Tuesday?) evening memory.. I once went against my better judgement out of curiosity (it's ALWAYS that autistic curiosity and fascination with humans, concepts and belief systems) and sat in on a live webinar on DNA spiritual and energetic cleansing. Yep, I just said that.... That's what I said. It consisted of a married couple of human beings (I'm writing the human beings part to convince myself) who claimed to be able to do all kinds of things including time travel, invisibility, and riding on ancient rugs into the sky (okay, ya got me, I made that last one up). At the end of the session (yep, I stuck it out even with my ADHD) they offered a meditation. I was a little scared. I was also very tired. I partook in the meditation, and fell asleep. When I woke up, it was all over and they told us that they'd let us know who they were choosing based on quantum physics and a splash of ylang ylang oil on their right wrist on a full moon on Thursday (clearly I made that last one up too), but they were going to let us know. They called the chosen ones "Jedis". I wish I could say I made that one up. I waited for my email to say that I was a chosen Jedi and would be taught how to levitate and be invisible and time travel, but the email never came. I just thought it was a really tough decision and they'd let me know eventually. A few weeks later, whilst visiting a friend I knew had also partaken in the Jedi information session about DNA energetic and spiritual cleansing, she told me both her and her husband had been invited to be Jedis and learn levitation, invisibility and time travel. It was a shock, I have to say. Why wasn't I invited to be a Jedi? I read through the email my friend had received all about becoming a Jedi. There were levels. And you had to pass each level in order to move up to the next level. Each level involved a whole lot of meditation and thinking about the level. Oh, and $10,000 per month. I emailed them. I asked why I hadn't been invited to be a Jedi who would be taught levitation, invisibility and time travel. Turns out, I asked too many questions. I asked one. It was "Are our names and details visible to the other participants of this webinar?". The moral of the story? Being neurodivergent may have prevented me from being a Jedi. On a serious note: It's good to ask questions, have an animated face that cringes and twists and eyes that widen and a smirk that cannot be hidden on a live webinar. Being autistic means that the way I receive information and people, places and things is mostly with neutrality, subjectivity and openness and without judgement. But that curiosity always gets me. Did you ever find yourself engaged in some 'left of centre' shenanigans out of curiosity in your younger years? I'd love to hear about it. . . KF . . Image description: Kristy sitting at her office desk with a Chewbacca replacement head.
12.01.2022 Did a thing with a really great person and comedian, Nelly Thomas for her podcast Person Place Thing, with Nelly Thomas. I just want it known that I have sat on sharing this for over a week, and I'm still really uncomfortable because of the nice things said about me. Nelly is such a wonderful person and I enjoyed our chat so much, but as a PDA autistic, I'll always cringe and sidestep praise and nice things said.... Thank you, Nelly for having me on. I was in burnout at the time and it was nice to be able to sit and chat and just "be". Nelly has written some great books to support positive neurodivergent identity. My fave is called Some brains: a book celebrating neurodiversity and you can check it out here: https://www.somekidsbooks.com//dvggfovo8o5dsnrf90l1chybtlu
11.01.2022 Amen. This can be applied to anything and everything for the PDAer; for me, eating, gardening, going for a walk. Doing all the things I love! A demand is a demand is a demand.
07.01.2022 Autistic culture and communication
06.01.2022 Parenting moments: "Yep, you can come to work with me, that's fine. I will need quiet, however." "Yes, Mum. I know.." ... ..Proceeds to rock up with two lightsabers and no iPad. Funny how one's definition of quiet varies from person to person innit?
04.01.2022 This week, we made the decision to bring home the last of our girls from the mainstream education system. My inner knowing all along was that in order to thrive, she would do best immersed in autistic culture and community; understanding and learning about the foundations of her autistic identity-how she learns, thinks and processes, responds to her environment; her expansive emotional depth and range, the way she relates to others and herself. I knew she would need intensive...Continue reading
02.01.2022 So proud of you Kieran.
