Iparenteens | Counsellor

Iparenteens

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24.01.2022 Psychological safety for our teens is about ensuring they feel safe to take interpersonal risks with the people around them. This is especially important at home. Our teens should not be afraid of being labelled or criticised for saying what they are thinking and feeling. Here are a few examples of how you can provide a psychologically safe environment for your teen:... If your teen makes a mistake, you won’t hold it against them personally. If something is wrong, your teen can bring it up without it being used against them. If your teen needs help, they can ask for it without you or other in the house getting crabby about it. If they change their mind about something, they will be applauded for their courage. Adolescence is not just about getting good grades. Providing a psychologically safe environment will set our tens up for a fulfilling and meaningful life, rather than a fearful but well-measured one. Talking about it and actually providing it are two very different things. Just telling your teen that anything they say won’t be used against them doesn’t automatically convince them that that’s actually true. You need to demonstrate it with your actions. For more on how to provide psychological safety for your teens, register for this one-hour FREE workshop on 5 August 2020 with Dr Leanne Wall and Linda Manaena https://www.facebook.com/events/301997487873569/ #iparenteens

22.01.2022 Ever wondered about your ancestors? Get your teens to help you do some research and you can support their mathematical learning at the same time. This puts a new and interesting spin on maths. #iparenteens #geneologymathematics

22.01.2022 If we don't create an environment that is psychologically safe for our teens, where they can speak up without being made to feel stupid or perceived as a trouble-maker, they will shut down and tell us nothing. It was an absolute pleasure to meet the wonderful parents who joined us this week for our workshop on creating psychological safety at home. #iparenteens #psychologicalsafety

21.01.2022 Rather than define teens for their 'bad' behaviour we need to shift our own minds from judgement to compassion. This is story of a straight A student who was seeking love, attention, and belonging but could not find it. The more she sought it, the more excluded she felt. "All I can do now is be the person for my kids and their friends that I wish I’d had back then." Nikki Kay.... A very worthwhile read. #iparenteens #teenstress #inclusionmatters #compassion

19.01.2022 Are you wondering what to buy your teen for Christmas? Do they already have everything they need? Every time I watch this video about St Jude School it makes me smile! The first time I came across the wonderful work St Jude is doing to educate young people who are born into poverty, was when my son went to Tanzania on a school emersion. Most children in Tanzania grow up in such poverty and education is truly their gateway to a better life, not only for themselves but also fo...r their families and the community. Every student who goes through St Jude and sometimes university returns to Tanzania to give back to the community. So if you are wondering what to give your teen as a present for Christmas, what about sponsoring a child? Both my children had students they sponsored throughout their primary and secondary school years. They would write to each other and share their experiences. It gave my children a real insight into how fortunate they were living in Australia. We had many a conversation about poverty, inequality and the plight of children. It also helped them develop skills such as empathy, compassion and gratitude. Life long skills I reckon. x https://youtu.be/gvdQQ3RRzCk

19.01.2022 WHEN DO I NEED TO WORRY IF MY TEEN IS NOT MANAGING THE STRESS OF EXAMS? AND WHAT TO DO! Exam time is often stressful for the whole family! I'm sure you can relate. We try as parents to support our teens as best we can however sometimes they struggle more than we realise. Look out for warning signs...... While most teens are resilient, some may more frequently report negative mood, uncertainties about the future or a loss of control. This is particularly true in 2020. You might hear evidence of catastrophic thinking (what’s the point? or this is the worst thing ever). You can help by modelling hopeful attitudes and coping strategies. Reactive coping strategies are things like taking a break, selectively using distractions and going for a run to clear your head. Pair these with proactive coping strategies, which prevent or help manage stressful situations. These include helping your teen get organised and reminding them that if they don’t have life figured out right now, that’s OK. Help them see opportunities that come with challenges. These include self-development (learning what they like and don’t like), self-knowledge (knowing their limits and character strengths) and skill development (organisational and coping strategies). Some teens may be struggling more than they let on. Look out for warning signs. These can include: * not participating in previously enjoyed activities * avoiding friends or partners * drastic changes in weight, eating or sleeping * irritability over minor things * preoccupation with death or expressing how difficult it is to be alive. If these behaviours occur most of the time you are with them or seem out of character, consult a doctor as soon as possible. This is particularly so if your teen has a history of mental health concerns. Some resources that may help if you are worried include - Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636, Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 and Headspace. #teenstress #iparenteens #mentalhealth

18.01.2022 Year 12 is finally finished... or at least the official ‘going to school’ part of it and most if not all students are now ramping up for exams!! Here is a pic of my daughter with her proud parents last Thursday on Valedictory day This means that the big HSC exams (Australian final year exams) are in a few weeks. The exams we hear about as parents and teens for a big chunk of our lives! No pressure!! In preparation for the exams iparenteens is going to be covering some impor...tant ground on how to look after yourself, especially when there is mega stress in the system!! Not only tips for our wonderful teens but also for us as parents, because let’s face it we go through the anguish, anxiety, late nights, mood swings etc. with them too! So put on your seat belts and stick with iparenteens over the next couple of weeks as we prepare for take off!! Even parents who don’t have teens in Year 12 will benefit from these tips so keep watching! Send any questions you may have and we will answer them ASAP! They no doubt will be relevant for everyone!! We are on the journey with you!! Sending a big hug Leanne & Linda Manaena xx

17.01.2022 Does your teen get defensive when you're trying to make a point? Maybe they take it as an attack. Perhaps they’re saying that YOU misunderstood, or they're justifying themselves, or they're making excuses, or saying you caused it, or saying you do it too, or...... Join our next Parenting is Like Leadership workshop - "Help your teens stop getting defensive" - this Sunday 16 August from 3.30pm to 4.30pm Link in Comments #iparenteens #defensive #teens

16.01.2022 It's easy to get annoyed with our teens when they withdraw to their rooms, are angry over 'nothing', seem distracted, or sleep through their alarm. But how often do you genuinely check in on them to see how they are feeling and ask if everything is OK? And we're not talking about pumping them for information like it's a Spanish inquisition. If you do that, you know they'll tell you nothing and likely push you away, right? Instead, approach them gently and with empathy. If... they don't want to talk simply say something like "that's fine, I'm here if you need me" (of course, if you're worried they might harm themselves then you'll need to approach things a little differently). Sometimes all our teens need is to feel like they belong and they're loved. #iparenteens #parenting #teens

16.01.2022 And this kid isn't even a teen yet! LOL

16.01.2022 How do we build trust with our teens? I had the wonderful opportunity to talk to a group of Year Coordinators and teachers recently and one of them asked how they should respond to a parents question about their 15 year old that went something like this Our daughter is 15 and wants to go out. Should we trust her? I thought I would share with you my response to their question and trust this serves you in some way! Leanne Xx Hi B Thanks so much for connecting. It was great...Continue reading

13.01.2022 With exams over and many teens now looking for casual summer jobs before their next school year starts, here are some helpful tips on job interview questions and answers. What other questions have your teens been asked, and how did they respond? #iparenteens

12.01.2022 How to talk to your daughter about clothing...

10.01.2022 Join our workshop - starting in 30 mins.

10.01.2022 And... exams are over for students in years 10, 11 and 12! Who's feeling a sense of relief? #iparenteens #examstress

10.01.2022 If you are wondering how to support your teen through exams have a look at what a wonderful pack I had handpicked for me to give to my teen. Thank you so much for hand picking the most amazing relaxation pack for my wonderful Year 12 daughter who is heading into exams!! She loved it and it will definitely help her create some calm in the crazy world we live in at the moment xxxx A way I can support her as a parent xxxx #benatural #relax #exams

09.01.2022 What we do and what we say to our teens really matters. They are watching and listening. #iparenteens #inspiretheirinnervoice #parents #teens

08.01.2022 There are a lot of different ways to raise teens - there's no one formula that works for everyone. So, why is it that some people seem convinced that their way is better than all others. It's easy to find people who are quick to judge others and this often comes from insecurity, Our advice for judgmental types? Cut it out for the sake of your teens. If you find that you're judgmental, your teen will follow suit and it can be hard to undo.... #iparenteens #judgemental #parenting #teens

08.01.2022 Your teen crossed a boundary so you’re trying to talk to them about it. But as soon as you raise it, they cross their arms. They look away. They pick up their phone. They say things like: 'Stop criticising me' or 'I know you hate me - why did you even have kids?'. They start defending their behaviour. Teens who are defensive may have difficulty taking responsibility for their actions and can feel uncomfortable being ‘wrong.’ Accepting responsibility might make them feel as ...if they have failed. Join our workshop at 3.30pm on Sunday 16 August to explore some simple things you can do to help your teens stop getting defensive. Link in comments #iparenteens #defensiveteens #behaviour

08.01.2022 If teens feel attacked it can be hard to hear what their parents have to say, with an open mind. Instead, their first thought is to defend themselves or turn the 'argument' around. In the end, no one feels heard. Helping our teens to spot defensive behaviour can create better and more constructive conversations. Join Dr Leanne Wall and Linda Manaena this Sunday for a FREE workshop to find out more about why teens get defensive (you might be surprised by the reasons) and wha...t to do about it. Link in comments #iparenteens

07.01.2022 PSYCHOLOGICAL SAFETY guru, #AmyEdmondson has done decades of research on why we need #psychological #safety to have a trusting and authentic relationship with others. At iparenteens, we often talk to parents about how to build trust with their #teens because if there's no trust at home then there's no psych safety at home either. When there's no psych safety for our teens it's unlikely they'll be honest and share their personal world with us. In fact, there's a higher risk o...f them getting into peer groups that are destructive and a greater risk of them abusing substances such as alcohol and drugs. Trust between parents and teens is paramount and a no brainer to help us navigate the ups and downs of #adolescent challenges. Join us on 5 August for a super informative workshop and learn some simple steps to creating psychological safety at home. #iparenteens Link in comments

07.01.2022 We always say that it's better to have happy single parents than two unhappy 'together' parents. #iparenteens

07.01.2022 Parents this is one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time!!! Don’t we just love our kids!! It made me giggle like crazy! Enjoy!!

04.01.2022 Yesterday in our local newspaper, The Sydney Morning Herald, was an article about how parents should be responsible for a crime-filled muck up day. In Australia, the final year school students (Year 12) have what they call a muck up day, where they go into the city or their local area and dare each other to do certain things. A list of these dares was anonymously sent to the media earlier this week. This list was drafted by young men from an affluent private school on our Nor...th Shore. There was much outrage from the public about what they had chosen to do, which included spitting on a homeless person and shitting on public transport. The author states that parents should be held responsible for this behaviour. We would love to start a conversation and hear your thoughts on this. https://amp-smh-com-au.cdn.ampproject.org//parental-respon

04.01.2022 Research shows that leaders who foster psychological safety in the workplace are more likely to have high performing teams. Team members who can speak out and challenge the status quote without retribution, being shamed or blamed are more engaged and perform better overall. I do a lot of work in this space and have often wondered about what happens at home. My question for working parents is do you create the same environment for your ‘team’ at home? Do you allow your famil...y members to speak up? Especially your tweens and teens who are most likely to challenge the way you have done things for years. Perhaps your values or beliefs in life! Do you allow them space to talk, share their views and challenge your way of parenting without blowing a gasket, reprimanding them or shutting them down? Join me and Linda Manaena in a conversation about how we can create psychological safety at home especially for our tweens and teens who are tasked with challenging the status quo. This is part of how they develop their own identity so a critical milestone wouldn’t you say? How can parents create the psychological safety that is needed for them to develop a robust self identity and inspire their inner voices. See you on Wednesday 5 Aug at 1pm :)

04.01.2022 Do your teens share their feelings, their activities, their day? Do they feel comfortable sharing ideas, concerns, or mistakes? If not - you may need to consider what you can do to create more psychological safety at home. Join us tomorrow at 1pm for a workshop on one of the best ways to create psychological safety for your teens. https://mailchi.mp/6697aa43cf70/ipt-workshop-series... #iparenteens #psychologicalsafety

03.01.2022 Our big kids are not all that different from our little kids. Saw this today and simply had to share it here.

02.01.2022 Had you told me ten years ago that gratitude could help manage my stress I would have thought you were cuckoo! Research now shows that having moments of gratefulness can reduce the amount of stress hormone in our bodies. So that considered, having our teens express gratefulness would surely be important too? A 2019 study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that gratitude is linked to happiness in children by age 5. This means that instilling gratitude in our ...kids at a young age could help them grow up to be happier people. According to a 2011 study published in Psychological Assessment , grateful teens (ages 14 to 19) are more satisfied with their lives, use their strengths to improve their communities, are more engaged in their schoolwork and hobbies, and have better grades. They’ve also been shown to be less envious, depressed, and materialistic than their less grateful counterparts. So gratitude not only helps them manage stressful times but so much more! This article talks about teaching our kids to be grateful in the first place. Consciously aware of how much they have to be thankful for. A worthwhile read! X https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-teach-children-gratitud