Jacqueline Nugara in Neutral Bay, New South Wales, Australia | Mental health service

Jacqueline Nugara

Locality: Neutral Bay, New South Wales, Australia

Phone: +61 414 916 183

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• Medical and health
• Mental health service

25.01.2022 When I have shared my story about my parents murder/suicide the most common thing people have said to me is "why didnt your Mother just leave?" My mother was 26 years old, with three children aged 8, 5 and 4 and had my Grandmother with her too. She did leave after years of beatings and this is when she was murdered. What most people dont understand is that more women are killed when they actually leave. For the women who stay in abusive relationships it is not a black & white situation either.

25.01.2022 https://www.psychologytoday.com//6-ways-rough-childhood-ca

25.01.2022 Trauma, especially complex PTSD, creates so many negative cognitions about who we are as people and the world we live in. People who have experienced Trauma and for those who have experienced complex trauma, such as myself, it basically messes with our brain and sends us into negative beliefs about ourselves, other people and life in general. The most common negative beliefs triggered by trauma are as follows:...Continue reading

24.01.2022 Brilliant presentation by New York Times best selling author Johann Hari on anxiety, depression & addiction at the Sydney Writers Festival

23.01.2022 I absolutely agree with this

22.01.2022 Remembering my Mum today who 45 years ago lost her life to Domestic Violence at the hands of my Father, who also took his own life. She was 26 and still only a child with 3 young children. One woman a week here in Australia is still killed due to DV and its not ok. ABUSE IN ANY FORM IS NEVER OK!!!!! She never got the chance to grow into a woman. Today I remember her and remember how grateful I am for the blessed life I have today.

22.01.2022 The importance of connection is demonstrated in 60 seconds. With EMDR therapy, we want to be sure there is connection in a persons life before doing the EMDR. If not, building a support system with some real connection becomes the first priority. (From https://www.facebook.com/EMDRComprehensiveTherapy/)

20.01.2022 Somehow I always knew that how I felt about what was going on in my family was appropriate to the situation and what everyone else felt was simply denial. I was always ok with my feelings, sensitivity and vulnerability, even though I constantly grew up with messages that I was the one with the problem in my family for feeling the way I did. My nickname in Sri Lankan was "cry baby" and I was constantly told I was difficult. I was also lucky as I had my beautiful Scottish Gran...Continue reading

20.01.2022 I love this video from one of my favourite Spiritual Chicks Danielle LaPorte on the difference between barriers and boundaries https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwzqCEaYFPQ

18.01.2022 This is a really good article on Trauma and Post Traumatic Growth. The key is having good support after tragedies strike. https://www.smh.com.au//leigh-sales-it-just-started-to-fee

16.01.2022 I saw Jane Fonda at the Sydney Opera House last night. Her stories are so fascinating as is her life. There is a great deal of power in sharing our stories.

16.01.2022 Empathy without boundaries is not empathy, compassion minus boundaries is not compassion, vulnerability without boundaries is not vulnerability. https://www.facebook.com//bren%C3%A9-br/10153967066765682/

15.01.2022 The oxygen mask analogy

14.01.2022 I have often said to my clients that I would love to be able to scan their brains before EMDR/BSP and then again to see the changes in their brains after a significant period of treatment but finding someone able to do it and cost is often prohibitive. I would have loved to see what brain looked like in 1993 when I was diagnosed with complex PTSD and also prior to commencing EMDR & BSP treatments. I synchronistically found an acquaintance who does qEEG Brain Scans and is a...Continue reading

14.01.2022 I have often said to my client's that I would love to be able to scan their brains before EMDR/BSP and then again to see the changes in their brain's after a significant period of treatment but finding someone able to do it and cost is often prohibitive. I would have loved to see what brain looked like in 1993 when I was diagnosed with complex PTSD and also prior to commencing EMDR & BSP treatments. I synchronistically found an acquaintance who does qEEG Brain Scans and is a...Continue reading

13.01.2022 I think I ended up becoming a Brain Based Trauma therapist, not only so I could help others with complex PTSD heal, but firstly so that I could understand all this stuff for myself and that I could heal from my own traumatic childhood. What most people dont understand is that trauma happens in the body first. Our primal responses of flight, fight, freeze or submit responses just take over before we even have time to think. Unfortunately when we are in relationships we ofte...n just trigger each others trauma. We see the world through our trauma lens and the world is usually a very dangerous place and our trauma responses take over. I used to see the world as only bad and could only see people doing bad things because I grew up in a family that was capable of doing the most extreme things and inflicting extreme pain on other human beings. What happened in my family became my global experience- family equals the world. Now I can see that while the world is indeed full of trauma and bad things happen and there are deeply traumatised people out in the world doing bad things not everyone is like that. There are some people who are kind, caring, want to help and want to make a difference in good ways. By working through my own trauma my view of the world changed and I started to attract more loving, supportive people into my life. How I work with my clients through EMDR and Brainspotting (BSP) is to help them have more space in their brains so they dont have to react so quickly and to have more regulated nervous systems where they dont go into flight, fight freeze so quickly. What my clients always say to me is you seem to really understand and I do because I know trauma from the inside out and I still have weekly EMDR Therapy, BSP and NET sessions which help my brain and nervous system to be calm and gives me space to not go into those old habituated responses. I still do it at times but not in the same way I used to. Peter Levine who developed "Somatic Experiencing" (one of the most kind, compassionate men I have ever been in the presence of) explains what happens in our bodies in trauma in his book "Waking the Tiger". If we dont attend to what is happening in our bodies we will never free. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUL8HU-SSs8

13.01.2022 Powerful words about depression & anxiety by Johann Hari

12.01.2022 Australia is reeling after the tragic rape and murder of our young comedian Eurydice Dixon aged only 22. What is wrong with our society? As mentioned by Lisa Wilkinson from The Project in her video, in my previous post, normal people dont do these sorts of things, NO they dont but SOME traumatised people do. Im not saying all traumatised people, rape, murder or inflict harm on others, but these days too many do. Trauma and the impact on our brains and nervous system, can ...Continue reading

12.01.2022 I never wanted to accept that I had to keep living a life that was just about trauma and abuse and I have done whatever I needed to do in order to keep healing from my past. Ive always wanted to break free of my past and live a a life that is about freedom and ease which is not how I grew up. Many people accept that habituated stress, depression, anxiety, fear, isolation, aggression, violence, etc. as a result of trauma is the only way to live. Brain therapies are so effec...tive in helping people break free of trauma symptoms and much faster than only talk therapy. However people will only change if and when they are ready to.

11.01.2022 Heres the link to the Oprah interview on Childhood Trauma. There are two videos one the 60 minutes interview and the other Overtime where she talks about how discovering what really happens in the brain with trauma has been life changing for her. When I went to the Evolution of Psychotherapy conference in Los Angeles in 2009 I learnt about the brain and trauma, for the first time, and then came back to Sydney and started having EMDR and Brainspotting which changed my life and finally helped me to heal from complex PTSD..I then studied and learned every thing I could about the brain and trauma and became a Neuroscientific Trauma Therapist and it was indeed a game changer. Like Oprah, I felt the same way this whole concept and understanding is life changing. https://www.cbsnews.com//oprah-winfrey-treating-childhood/

10.01.2022 I realised only recently that I hate to see people suffer. Its probably the core reason I became a Therapist and secondly why I ended up specialising in helping those who suffer from complex PTSD. You see trauma creates so much needless suffering. Firstly there are those who are traumatised and then inflict pain and suffering onto others as a way of self regulating through abuse and then there are those on the receiving end of the abuse who in turn continue to suffer. I thi...nk the reward of being a Trauma Therapist is you can do something very specific and tangible to end your clients suffering. People with traumatised brains walk around in the world, through no real fault of their own , in endless pain and fear, with brains that just keep firing as though they are still in danger and as though the past is about to happen to them again and again. They walk around in bodies that never feel safe. They can only live in the past and dont know how to live any other way. Thats why brain based therapies are so effective as they allow my clients brains to be soothed. Brain based therapies work at all three levels, thinking, emotions and body sensations and allow clients to be able to put the past in the past, to come out of survival and start to be able to live and also begin to feel differently in the present. They begin to start to trust people and for the first time actually know what its like to feel safe. Its a process though as trauma also creates an addiction to pain and suffering when its all you have ever known.While brain based therapies are faster than a lot of other healing modalities, healing from complex PTSD still takes time. I remember when I came understand that it was time to let go of the traumatised me, that I didnt even know who I was without it. It had been a part of me for so long. What would happen to me, who would I be without it? What would it be like to live without it? It was a scary process but ultimately it lead to greater peace and freedom and for the first time understanding of what real choice meant. When your brain is firing in habitual patterns of trauma you have very little or no choice. You are trapped in something you have no control over. Thats why healing is so important. So thats why I became a healer and a Trauma Therapist. I wanted to do my part to end suffering. I am not arrogant enough to think I can end the world;s suffering. That is way beyond me, but I can do what I can to make a difference because no one should have to keep suffering because of trauma when there are many great therapies out there that can and do make a difference to your brain and allows you to feel safe and begin to live in a way you never have before. What do I say to that? BRING IT ON!

10.01.2022 So I grew up in a family where madness reigned supreme. I grew up in a family where horrific trauma was the norm. A book that changed my life and helped me to understand that you dont just simply get past those horrific experiences without professional trauma therapy was "I cant get over it" by Dr Aphrodite Matsakis. At the time so many of my friends were giving me a hard time (they lacked empathy- I dont have those friends anymore either) constantly telling me "why cant ...you just let it go?" or saying to me "its it all in the past - just let it go" and I couldnt so I began to feel like there was something wrong with me. I couldnt stand up for myself and I believed them that there was something wrong with me and I had no language to explain my experiences. This book helped as I learned about "secondary victimisation". When I began to have EMDR therapy I stopped feeling like something was wrong with me and I began to be able to explain to people it wasnt as simple as just letting it go when you have a traumatised brain. See more

10.01.2022 RECREATING WHAT IS FAMILIAR... Its coming up to the anniversary of my parents death and this time of the year always makes me more reflective. This year Ive been reflecting on the many roles Ive played as the caretaker all of my life. From my earliest days Ive been looking after other people. If my Mother would get beaten by my Father she would crawl into bed with me and I would soothe her emotional pain. I have a very vivid memory, of being 6 years old and wiping away ...Continue reading

10.01.2022 https://upliftconnect.com/stress-its-not-in-your-head-its-/

07.01.2022 This is really powerful, incredibly touching and made me cry. Lisa Wilkinson is so, so right, violence against women is really, really wrong and the message we are sending out to women that it is their responsibility to keep themselves safe is the wrong message. We need to address the issue of why men rape and kill.

07.01.2022 I love this photo of Marilyn Monroe. Jane Fonda went to acting school with her and spoke of her sadness about Marilyns sexual abuse as a child which ultimately destroyed her. Janes own Mother was sexually abused then committed suicide. Jane talked about the prevalence of sexual abuse and the impacts it has on us and our society.

07.01.2022 If you look for evidence that you dont belong you will find it. I know who I am and I dont need anyone else to validate that for me.

07.01.2022 This is a powerful webinar on the link between Co-dependency and Narcissism. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPBmKgSoTPI

05.01.2022 One of my favourite Trauma Experts Bessel Van Der Kolk explains how PTSD hijacks our rational brain and creates irrational reactions.

04.01.2022 My favourite word - Boundaries as Jeff brown would say dont leave home without them"

03.01.2022 Jane Fonda spoke a lot about intention and authenticity. She used my favourite word over and over again - authenticity. She is so authentic and just truly fabulous. These are very powerful words about healing how we feel about ourselves based on how we were raised by our parents. .

03.01.2022 "Emerging trends in psychotherapy are now beginning to point beyond the traumas of the individual to include traumatic events in the family and social history a...s a part of the whole picture. Tragedies varying in type and intensity - such as abandonment, suicide and war, or the early death of a child, parent, or sibling - can send shock waves of distress cascading from one generation to the next. Recent developments in the fields of cellular biology, neurobiology, epigenetics, and developmental psychology underscore the importance of exploring at least three generations of family history in order to understand the mechanism behind patterns of trauma and suffering that repeat." ~ Mark Wolynn, It Didnt Start With You ~ . . . . . . . . . . . #traumaandco #trauma #complextrauma #connection #community #complexities #compassion #collaboration #cocreating #collectiveliberation #collective #companionship #ptsd #complexptsd #cptsd #traumainformed #abandonment #suicide #war #abuse #neurobiology #epigenetics #cellular #biology #ancestraltrauma #intergenerationaltrauma #markwolynn