Janelle Koenig | Public figure

Janelle Koenig

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• Public figure
• Comedian

25.01.2022 That rare and undeniable feeling when - against your better and most sensible judgement - you get someone the present they want more than anything in the world.

23.01.2022 #tfw you’ve got the end of term Colour Run at 1.30 and have to get into mum’s recently cleaned car at 2.45. Swipe # #thepriceyoupay #mumsrevenge #likeitorlumpit #notsogladbags

22.01.2022 Home-made Book Week costume love barometer....(oh, my heart).

20.01.2022 Few things in life thrill me like discounted meat thrills me. Not a euphemism. $60 worth for $23.15. #holla... For anyone interested with this lot I’ll do Recipe Tin Eats Gravy Baked Chicken Drumsticks, roasted veg cous cous with the lamb cutlets, Nigella’s Korean Keema with the turkey mince, Mongolian beef with the stir fry and butterflies chicken wraps with sweet potato fries.

20.01.2022 Cleaning out the junk drawer on this rainy Perth day and found this lovely and definitely worth keeping forever candle from a birthday cake. Also my youngest child is 8. Also the drawer is in my bedroom. ...

19.01.2022 I am sooo excited to be going to Coral Bay tomorrow and Exmouth on Saturday. Who’s around the area for me to serenade?? Bill’s Bar Friday, Froth Brewery Saturday. Snorkeling Sunday. jkx

18.01.2022 Mairéad - When I’m older I want to have a really good job, and two kids - a boy and a girl, and a nice husband, and heaps of pets and live in a two-story house by the beach. Maeve - When I’m older I want to buy two squirty creams and put them both in my mouth at the same time. That would be SO AWESOME!

17.01.2022 Being a crafty bish to help the amazing people at the W.A. Animal Rescue Volunteers. Getting my craft on to do something helpful has been a wonderful distraction from feeling helpless during this strange time. 10/10 recommend. P.S. I just watched the video and I can hear my impeccably skilled crafty mum shouting ‘You didn’t press that fabric!’ I’m pretty sure the joeys won’t give a shit Mum.

16.01.2022 Got my yearly eyebrow feathering touch up done at @highbrow_society today by the lovely Phoebe. Such a fabulous Perth business - I wouldn’t trust my brows to anyone else. Eyebrow tattooing is an absolute life/game changer.

16.01.2022 Ermagherd. This was the most delicious AND easiest thing I’ve made in ages!! Baked Honey Mustard Chicken from @recipe_tin. #recipetineats #recipetineatsrecipe #chicken #drumsticks #eat #food #easy #cheapcut #yum #newwaytocookspuds

15.01.2022 Pop quiz! Which ad do we hate more, right now Australia? 1. The video piracy ad with the good cop/bad cop scenario that thinks it’s an episode of CSI Shitsville, with the woman who clearly thinks this ad is her national audition for Wentworth and says ‘Sorry son, can’t help ya’’even though she can’t be more than 22. 2. The foetuses who are apparently old enough to buy a house who inexplicably randomly get up and boogie badly at their house mate to Safety Dance even though i...t was written at least 20 years before they were born. 3. That fuckhead third generation candy maker who tastes candy every day on Noom. What say you, Facebook hive mind?

14.01.2022 Please slow down, my good girls. The time is going way too fast. #perthzoo #maireadvictoria #maeveadelaide

10.01.2022 Comic relief at 1.50 gets me EVERY TIME

09.01.2022 Hey Guys, just in case you ever want to remember what it feels like to work up the courage to text a stranger and send it off and then not have any idea if it’s been received, what they think or how they’re going to react but you have to sit by the phone and wait for an inordinate amount of time in the hopes that they WILL eventually message you back....great news! Telstra don’t let you speak to anyone anymore - it’s all messaging service! I sent my first message 2 hours and 50 minutes ago and I am no closer to anything being remotely resolved. Hate to bitch and moan here...but if I don’t I’m about to get stabby. What the actual @telstra?

09.01.2022 I need to put heat packs on my ribs because they hurt from laughing so hard. Best video of the year.

08.01.2022 Here she is everybody. As you can see, not a knee-length dress.

06.01.2022 I’m delighted to be have been asked to present a category at The Proud Awards (Perth’s annual LGBTQI+ awards night) for the fifth time next weekend. It’s always a high FASHUN event and everyone dresses to the nines (the drag community dresses to the elevens). This year I’ve gone for a seriously low-dress - out of my comfort zone, but if I can’t do it at the Prouds, when can I?... I did think though that I should warn Phil in advance that I’m wearing something a bit daring rather than poking his eyes out on Saturday before I go. Just to be safe. Me - Babe, just so you know, my dress for Saturday is pretty revealing Phil - Oh yeah? Me - Like, it’s reaaallly revealing - you can see a LOT of boob. Phil - Oh yeah? Me - No, I mean like it’s more boob than I’ve ever shown in a dress. Phil - Oh yeah? Knee length is it? Anyway, he’s dead now.

06.01.2022 WA Animal Rescue, who in addition to the crafted items they always require and gratefully receive to support carers, recently enquired if anyone made cards to pop in as thank-yous with the care packages they send out and Maeve was all over it. She whipped these beautiful cards up. Please note, that’s a joey in the kangaroo’s pouch. I hope.

06.01.2022 This is everything you need from the internet today.

05.01.2022 I’m sooo excited to finally be doing Side Splitter - Hamilton Hill’s own homegrown mini comedy festival. Look out Memorial Hall roof - you’re about to be torn off!

03.01.2022 Hi everyone. Thanks so much for your lovely comments on my pics from Saturday night. Here’s your friendly reminder that that look required an evening at the hairdressers, a decent sprinkle of Botox, an hour and a half of professional make-up application, false eyelashes, a fancy frock, a very uncomfortable (and definitely too small) bra and bike short-type spanks that should have sat under my rib cage but kept rolling down to my waist making me feel like I was being cut in t...wo by a giant rubber band all night but I couldn’t reach under the neckline of the dress to yank them up because it was so precariously pinned to avoid nip-slippage and I couldn’t go to the toilet because if I got up I’d definitely lose my coveted COVID-number-restricted chair and I wasn’t going to stand for three hours in stilettos. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE frocking up. But what I’m trying to say is...that same girl looked like this hours later...complete with fly away baby hairs, dark circles and some adult acne but she’s fab too. And waaaay more comfortable.

02.01.2022 (Essential back story for this anecdote - my Dad is from Singapore) Maeve - I like that cooking show with the Australian people and the Chinese people and the French people. Me - What kind of person are you?... Maeve - Australian? Me - Yeah. And what kind of person am I? Maeve - Australian? Me - Yep, but I’m half something else Maeve - Mmmm...I don’t know Me - Well, where is Poppi from? Maeve - Um...I can’t remember Me - It starts with Ssss......Sssss..... Maeve - SeaWorld?

01.01.2022 Bitch stole my look.