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In The Ra

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22.01.2022 When a stranger tells you, you shouldn’t be eating that. On the first day of stage 4 restrictions, I was feeling floaty and in need of some salt. So I walked down to the supermarket (the only thing you were allowed to do in Melbourne at the time) to get a snack. I never buy snacks, but that day I didn’t need another rule or restriction to follow. ... All I needed was to listen to my body and soothe my soul. Even if just a little. I went straight to the glorious chip isle. Imagining myself in space, on a Simpsons episode, munching on crisps in the air, as I scanned each packet for the best, most basic ingredients. I walked up to the check out counter barely able to await the delectable salty crunch factor I instantly became re-obsessed with. But as I arranged myself to pay, I heard the teller say, you shouldn’t be eating that. Stunned and unimpressed, I said, Excuse me? Look at the skin on your forehead, you shouldn’t be eating... too many of these. She replied, back peddling. I was so angry and caught off guard. Yeah, I’m aware I have a skin condition, cheers I asserted, then grabbed the crisps and left. It hurt. Because I felt belittled, perceived as ignorant and unable to make my own decisions. Reduced, by a stranger who gave me no more than a glance. And shamed, by a layman who thinks she knows more about my complex condition than I do. Yet, like 99% of people offering unsolicited advice, her intentions were good. In retrospect, I do think she wanted to be helpful, but the intention doesn’t change the impact of her projected ignorance onto my experience which was both unhelpful and harmful. Now how about you? Have you ever gotten unsolicited advice from a stranger? How did you handle it? xx Jess #unsolictedadvice #uaseries #jessicainthera

18.01.2022 Where the healing happens Xx Jess #unsolicitedadvice... #uaseries #jessicainthera See more

10.01.2022 When we give unsolicited advice, we make snap judgments about another person. With little information, we project our experiences, wants and perspectives onto the other person and assume they’re going to need and want what we have to say. Given the vast number of experiences, perspectives, wants and needs, statistically speaking, if you make this leap often you’re going to miss the mark MANY TIMES and piss a lot of people off. Whether you intend to, they tell you, or not. Thi...s leads to emotional distancing and disconnect that I assume is not what you want. To connect more closely and to make a positive impact, you must show that person you care. That you care to go beyond your own limitations, experience and perspective to understand theirs. That your opinion isn’t more important than their boundaries or wellbeing and that you’re here to help, not to simply be heard. xx Jess #unsolicitedadvice #uaseries #jessicainthera

06.01.2022 It has been thoughtfully created and effective so far because: 1. it has one clear call to action to reduce overwhelm, and increase action. With the one intention to create public accountability and an open promise and to give them time, and I stress, NOT TO RUSH, but instead, to thoughtfully integrate sustainable actions into their business model overtime. And because they are announcing this publicly, they can be kept accountable. I have further ideas on how I, in part...nership with indigenous Australians, and other allies can help them do this, so stay tuned for that. 2. it addresses all the objections I received from different businesses for the past two weeks. To save you back and forth. 3. It avoids schooling them on issues, and instead, offers resources if they’re curious. 4. the tone assumes they’re already an ally because most likely, they are/want to be. With this empathetic and onside approach, it reduces defensiveness, and guilt which often inhibits or delays action. 5. it uses money and a time frame to create urgency, because without it, in this climate especially, it won’t seem important to action now. 6. it has space for you to be bespoke and specific about the business you email to create a more personal touch. So far, this template has only received replies filled with empathy and action. So I hope it does for you as well! Please feel free to share this resource with those who would want it. *find this COPY + PASTE template via the link in bio @in.the.ra* xx Jess You wanted it, you go it: @assshra_art @vander_lady @passionatelykeren @calebrixon @jadetzile @kerrielouise #blacklivesmatter #blm #indigenousaustralians #indigenouslivesmatter

04.01.2022 What your unsolicited advice sounds like... @natalyalobanova @nytimes Xx Jess... #unsolictedadvice #uaseries #jessicainthera

04.01.2022 No one likes spam Xx Jess #unsolicitedadvice... #uaseries #jessicainthera See more