Jim's Cryptids in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia | Home improvement

Jim's Cryptids

Locality: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

Address: The Fortress of the Moles 4075 Brisbane, QLD, Australia

Website:

Likes: 30

Add/Update information

Reviews

Tags

• Home improvement
• Pest control service

20.01.2022 Ah fuckya, not again #yeahnah #ddtb #fml

18.01.2022 Just got back to the office. We had a call out from someone in Yeerongpilly complaining of typical Riverbat infestation-related symptoms. Knocking and scratching through the walls, quiet chittering and giggling so we went in fully expecting to get pranked by these little bastards. Nope, no knife trap by the door, no glue on the stairs. We bust out the EVP reader to look for polterghoost signatures, nada. Just what sounded like legs... Turns out it was a Psitipede. His name is... Craig, he's a pretty decent bloke. He was trying to con the owners of the house out of their title deed. Just remember m'dudes, Psisects have minimal understanding of our morals and virtues despite their recent uplifting. We explained that con jobs are usually seen as not very nice, he was apologetic and came quietly. We offered to help him find an apartment on Monday morning. If you're worried you may have a psisect occupation, leave out a mozzarella and ayahuasca sammich on your most welcoming looking plate and turn the lights off. If you hear it havin' a munch, just think friendly thoughts and offer it more for cooperation. Give us a call and we'll take it from there for the low price of $2k or 15 8balls.

13.01.2022 Unseasonal cold front around Acacia Ridge/Coopers Plains today caused by a Snow Goose migration. We're trying to get the portal closed. Like seriously though, who in FUCK'S NAME thinks it's a GOOD FUCKEN IDEA to make deals with ENTITIES YOU CAN'T EVEN FUCKEN SEE?! YOU WANT GEESE? CUZ THAT'S HOW YOU GET FUCKEN GEESE!

12.01.2022 Get the boomsticks, we got a Deadite problem in Macgregor

11.01.2022 Unseasonal cold front around Acacia Ridge/Coopers Plains today caused by a Snow Goose migration. Were trying to get the portal closed. Like seriously though, who in FUCKS NAME thinks its a GOOD FUCKEN IDEA to make deals with ENTITIES YOU CANT EVEN FUCKEN SEE?! YOU WANT GEESE? CUZ THATS HOW YOU GET FUCKEN GEESE!

10.01.2022 Early morning report of mutilated bull sharks in the Brown Snake around Fairfield, thought we had a Nessie on our hands so we were packing serious heat. Turns out it was just this guy in the black shirt. Caught a fuckoff big catfish too, what an absolute chad.

10.01.2022 Crimson Light Organisms in the A/C again. Clean your filters at least every 24 months, or we can do it anually for as low as $8000. They're generally friendly, but they're also vehement tankies and Soviet apologists. Don't mention politics around them or you'll never hear the end of it.

10.01.2022 Better put my removin' boots on

03.01.2022 Better put my removin boots on