Joannidis & Associates Lawyers in South Yarra, Victoria | Lawyer & law firm

Joannidis & Associates Lawyers

Locality: South Yarra, Victoria

Phone: +61 3 9827 7777

Address: Level 19, 644 Chapel Stret 3141 South Yarra, VIC, Australia

Website: http://www.joannidis.com.au

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22.01.2022 Taki’s free Saturday legal advice: In Court, you must always try to have a good defence. Finally, one of my clients had a good defence. When cross-examined for a charge of assault, he said:... As I came home early from work I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, Hey mate, why are you doing that? He said, Because you came home early. Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

22.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: Unless youre an expert dont throw a boomerang. I threw a boomerang a couple of years ago. I now live in constant fear. ... Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

22.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: Years ago, cross-examining a husband wanting a divorce and opposed by my client, I was able to get him to admit they were both happy for 20 years. I said triumphantly: so you WERE happy for 20 years!... He quietly responded: and then, we met ... Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

22.01.2022 Taki’s free Saturday legal advice: Always persevere. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.... Joannidis & Associates has the answers

22.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: Unpremeditated killing = manslaughter (7-11 years); Premeditated killing = murder (life). ... If you are stuck at home, waiting for this exasperating virus to be conquered, and getting ropable by your partners antics, DO NOT plan ahead. It may be construed as premeditation ... Joannidis & Associates has the answers

20.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice. Be careful out on the streets. I represented a client who had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. ... The other 2 guys jumped clear. Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

18.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: Avoid your doctors advice. My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.... In any case, if God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. Joannidis & Associates has the answers

18.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: With all this Coronavirus anxiety and self-isolation at home: The best way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you start. ... So far today, Ive finished 6 beers and a large chocolate cake. Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

18.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: I like to hold hands at the movies which always seems to startle strangers. Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

18.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: Be careful how you say things: Last month, I went to a small country town for a conference. ... Having caught what I hoped was only laryngitis, I went looking for a doctors office. Finally I reached a house with the sign: "Dr. Julius C. Gould, M.D." I rubbed my sore throat and approached the door, giving it a knock. A woman answered, presumably the doctors wife. In a low, strained whisper I asked "Is the doctor at home?" and the woman whispered back "No, come in". Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

17.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice. Now that were isolated you should use your phone a lot. I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck. ... Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama. Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

17.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: Warning to all my insomniac clients: Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time. ... Joannidis & Associates has the answers

16.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice. Avoid push-ups in the nude. I did my pushups in the nude, I didnt see the mouse trap.... Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

15.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: The guy who invented the first wheel wasnt the genius. The genius was his wife who invented the other 3. ... Joannidis & Associates has the answers

14.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: Never give up. A client of mine spent the past two years looking for his ex-girlfriends killer but no one will do it.... P. S. Do you have a Will? Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

14.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: Have confidence in yourself. When a client was charged for sleeping on a bus, I knew I would get him off when I told the court:... Do you know how exhausting it is being a bus driver? Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

14.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: At a formal dinner party, check every ones age. The person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.... Keep in mind that so far, this is the oldest youve been! Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

14.01.2022 Takis Free Saturday Legal Advice: Just because nobody complains, doesnt mean all parachutes are perfect. Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

13.01.2022 Takis Free Saturday Legal Advice: If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, youll have trouble putting on your pants. Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

13.01.2022 We are now on Instagram! Like our page: https://instagram.com/joannidisassociateslawyers/ #sunset #lawyersofinstagram #southyarra #legalservices #50yearsexperience #law #legal #melbourne #firm #legalhelp #familylaw #criminallaw #wills #powersofattorney #probate #commerciallaw #officeview #commerciallitigation #employmentlaw #propertylaw #conveyancing #retailleases #commercialleases #greeklawyer

12.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: For once, Im not sure what claim a client of mine wants to make: While playing golf last week, he hit two good balls. He stepped on a rake.... Joannidis & Associates has the answers

12.01.2022 Taki’s free Saturday legal advice: When somebody makes you really angry, count slowly to three. When you get to two, punch them in the face. They won’t be expecting that!... Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

12.01.2022 Taki’s free Saturday legal advice: You cannot outrun a wild animal! ... but don’t panic, usually it is enough to outrun the chubbiest member of your hiking group.... Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

11.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice. Trumps nothing like Hitler. Theres no way he could write a book. Joannidis & Associates has the answers

11.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: Dont work hard. You dont achieve immortality through your work. ... You achieve it through not dying. Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

11.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice. Girls, dont always look for a man with a stable job. Whats so glamorous about cleaning up after horses?... Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

10.01.2022 Takis free Saturday Legal Advice. Dont be burdened by Rules. There are loopholes. My associate and I went to a high class restaurant at lunch time and started eating our sandwiches. ... The waiter said: "House Rules. You cant eat your own food in here." So we swapped sandwiches. Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

10.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: The Australian constitution is better than the American one. In America anyone can become president. ... Thats the problem. Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

09.01.2022 Takis Free Saturday Legal Advice A desperate young client of mine asked me what the penalty was if she was caught robbing a bank. I advised her not to try it, but if she did, to do so, naked. ... In this way, nobody would remember her face! Joannidis & Associates has the answers

09.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: Brace yourself when your doctor tells you the good news is that you are going to have a disease named after you! Joannidis & Associates has the answers

08.01.2022 Takis free Saturday Legal Advice: A prospective client who came to me for financial advice told me: Instead of taking the bus to your office, I just ran behind it. I saved two dollars!"... I advised him: next time, run behind a taxi and save $20?" Joannidis & Associates has the answers

07.01.2022 Taki’s free Saturday legal advice: Don’t always follow your partner’s suggestions. I asked the client: Why does your wife want a divorce? ... He responded: I’m not sure. She complained to me, saying: Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, holding the door for her, kissing her, why can’t you do the same? So, i thought I would please her and did the same, even though I barely knew the other woman. Joannidis & Associates have the answers

07.01.2022 Takis Saturday free legal advice: Stop complaining about compulsory self-isolation: isolationism. Look at the good side: not just reducing the effect of the virus; it reduces Cannibalism! Youre alone! Imagine if there is no isolationism. Imagine if youre not alone. Imagine that: chewing another human being. Youve got to be all out of chicken kiev. Youve got to be really hungry. But it happens, doesnt it? Still happens to this day in places unlucky enough not to be endo...wed with Coronavirus; not to be blessed with isolationism. A bunch of people stranded in the wilderness run out of jam toast, got to eat something... Might as well be George! And by the way, how do you decide who to eat first? How do you decide whos first on the barbecue rack? Do you pick on the little guy because hes skinny and he cant fight back, or do you gang up on the bodybuilder because hes got a lot of steaks and chops on him? P.S. By the way, the law has devised the defence of : Necessity! Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

05.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: Punctuation is very important. For instance a comma can totally change the meaning of a statement. Heres an example:... Johnny is in a bus stop." "Johnny is in a coma." Joannidis & Associates has the answers

05.01.2022 Free Julian Assange Isn't it great to live in a society where the penalty for telling the truth to a congressman can be up to 30 years in jail, but the penalty for a congressman lying to you is another few years in office!

05.01.2022 Takis free Special Edition Saturday legal advice. For all the pessimists in the world: Life is never all bad. ... Covid-19 is an awful experience especially for the elderly who catch it, even if theyre lucky to survive it. But whenever we are faced with some calamity, there is always something good that comes out of it: From our local newspaper, today: The crime rate in Victoria at the height of the coronavirus lockdown hit the lowest daily average for six years, with police seeing a huge drop in the number of robberies and residential burglaries across the state. This probably applies to every part of the world placed in lockdown... Put a sign outside your entrance saying: Coronavirus still lurking here. Youll save on theft insurance premiums! Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

04.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice. Never ask silly questions. I asked my arsonist client: Why did you do it?... He explained, Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Similarly, build a man a fire and hell be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and hell be warm for the rest of his life. Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

04.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: Ask questions with clarity: Just before Easter, I went to the hardware store and bought 2 planks of wood to do a large cross. The assistant asked me, Will you be putting that up yourself? I replied, No, Ill be putting it up in my living room!"... Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

04.01.2022 Takis Free Saturday Legal Advice Regular naps can prevent your brain from ageing. Especially if taken while driving.... Joannidis & Associates has the answers

04.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice. A wise man once told me: Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid.... Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

04.01.2022 Taki’s free Saturday legal advice: Women say men can do only 1 thing at a time. I disagree. I’m a multitasking man: just the other day I was walking down the street, I was putting eyedrops in my eyes, I was talking on my iPhone, and I was getting hit by a car.... Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

03.01.2022 Takis Free Saturday Legal Advice: Be precise. I advised a client of mine that he should identify the people in his life who have hurt him, write letters to them explaining what they did and then burn them.... A few weeks later he confided to me that he felt so much better but he didnt know what to do with all the letters. Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

02.01.2022 Taki’s Legal Advice Be wary of lawyers who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious. Joannidis & Associates has the answers

01.01.2022 Takis Free Saturday Legal Advice: Never be the 1st. It may be the early bird that eats the worm; but it is the 2nd mouse that eats the cheese!... Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

01.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice. Avoid surprises. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof. Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

01.01.2022 Taki’s free Saturday legal advice: Don’t always tell your partner the truth. I told my partner the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender! Joannidis & Associates has the answers.

01.01.2022 Takis free Saturday legal advice: Dont jump to conclusions. One of my clients told me:... My granny was beaten to death by my grandad. Not as in, with a stick he just died first ... Joannidis & Associates has the answers.