Jodie Arnot Counselling | Counsellor

Jodie Arnot Counselling

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25.01.2022 - ______________ Seeing a friend struggle is hard. Everything in us wants to fix things for them and that can create a lot of pressure to do and say the right thing. What is most helpful is often overlooked, so Ive created this 12 part guide for the next time you want to support a friend _______________... Think back to the last time a friend or family member was in emotional pain, and try to remember how you felt. You felt terrible right? You are not alone if you felt panic to make it better. This comes from a good place - you love your friend and dont want them to be in pain! [In Part 2 I will cover why striving to fix can be so unhelpful.] So what do we do if we dont rush to fix? We need to practice sitting with our loved one in their distress. Painful feelings such as fear, worry, shame, anger, guilt, sadness, loneliness are very difficult to give space to. We may be used to ignoring, suppressing, avoiding, numbing these big difficult feelings within ourselves, so we can jump to trying to sweep away others distress. Instead we need to practice giving space to these difficult feelings (in ourselves and for others!). Can we simply sit with the person in what they are feeling without fixing, minimising, distracting? Listen! (Ill be covering some listening tips in Part 3 & 4 of this series) Empathise Avoid toxic positivity and platitudes such as Look on the bright side or Everything happens for a reason And theres a bunch of other things you can do which Ill be sharing in later parts! Take a deep breath, resist the urge to fix, and just be present with your friend and their pain. ______________ QUESTION Have you had a friend or family member support you without trying to fix your feelings or the situation? How did they give space to what you were feeling? Share in the comments if you feel comfortable. #selfdevelopment #mentalhealth #innerwork #relationshipskills #emotionalintelligence #therapistsofinstagram

25.01.2022 Detox products make huge dollars for the diet industry. Guess what, our body already detoxes for us. No need to bankroll a shady industry. Boosting self-compassion and taking more rest will have a huge impact on how most people feel. No juices or potions required. . - Jodie . .... . . . . . #mentalhealth #riotsnotdiets #health #HAES #HAEStherapist #therapistofinstagram #therapy #bodyrespect #bodyacceptance #selfkindness #selfcompassion #moderationmovement #timetoletgo See more

24.01.2022 Some more ways we can make the world a safer place for all bodies including our own. Ive already shared some others and will share some more soon. - Jodie

23.01.2022 - ______________ Seeing a friend struggle is rough and we can feel a bit lost wondering how to best help. Part 1 in this series covered how sitting with our friend and allowing space for their feelings is much more helpful than rushing to try to fix. In this post I cover why rushing to fix can be so unhelpful despite our best intentions. _______________... Striving to fix can lead to acting in ways that are unhelpful for your struggling friend. Trying to fix might lead us to: Not listening fully Jumping to solutions when our friend needs to be heard Centring the conversation on our own opinions, ideas and experience Unintentionally communicating that we think we know best, or that our friend needs saving Disempowering our friend from finding their own solution Accidentally communicating that their emotions are too much to sit with by taking it into rational problem solving Have I missed anything youve experienced? Share in the comments if you feel comfortable ______________ In Part 3 I cover some skills for improving our listening so that your friend feels truly heard. Found it helpful? Please like, save for later and share. QUESTION What does it feel like when you are sharing your struggle and the other person jumps into fix it mode? Id love to hear your experience in the comments #therapistsofinstagram #innerwork #mentalhealth #support #helpers #selfgrowth #emotionalintelligence

21.01.2022 What if we let go of the constant drive to prove we are enough? Wed be able to rest more, say No when needed, no longer wear perfectionism as a shield, and be more authentic. Wed have so much more freedom in our lives. . - Jodie . .... . . . #enough #youareenoughnow #enoughasyouare #vulnerability #authenticity #perfectionism #recoveringperfectionist #selfacceptance #selfkindness #selfcompassion #embracingimperfection #human #commonhumanity #selfgrowth #therapy #mytherapistsays #therapist #therapistsofinstagram See more

21.01.2022 If youve felt guilty about productivity during lockdown, or youve felt inadequate seeing friends bake, sew, garden, exercise, and create their way through iso, then please read this article.

20.01.2022 You are the expert on your body. When we listen to others opinions on our eating it messes with our ability to listen to and trust our bodys signals. . - Jodie . .... . . . #bodytrust #nondiet #moderationmovement #intuitiveeating #selftrust #selfkindness #therapist #therapy #therapistsofinstagram #riotsnotdiets #bodyrespect See more

18.01.2022 My record collection is modest but so treasured. Listening to records by myself or with friends is one of the way I top up my cup - and its been such a comfort during isolation. Music is so medicinal! I bought my first record when I was in primary school, gathered a bunch of second hand 1960s rock albums when I was in my teens, and have been adding to it since. What albums have been keeping you company during iso? Id love to hear about your favourite record if you have vi...nyl. . . . . . #musicasmedicine #mentalhealth #therapistsofinstagram #vinylcollection #covidcare #isolation #music #musicformentalhealth #vinylcollector #therapist #meetyourtherapist #moreaboutme See more

18.01.2022 I love how this article is written. Keep in mind this is not an easy practice. Be kind to yourself about trying this - it doesnt have to be perfectly practiced to be helpful. The very moment that you would prefer to push away the nasty feelings that are eating you alive like fire ants, or the devastating feelings that make you think you never want to love again, or the red-faced foolish feelings that heat up shame, is the moment your mindfulness practice can come to your aid. - Jodie

17.01.2022 This is one of the important things a therapist can offer. We are skilled in holding space for your pain. We are not afraid of it. We will not minimize your pain for our comfort. We will not tell you others have it worse, or to look on the bright side. Those things are not helpful or compassionate. . - Jodie . .... . . . . #therapistlife #therapistsofinstagram #counselling #counsellingmelbourne #counsellinghawthorn #counsellingmalvern #skypecounselling #telephonecounselling #counsellormelbourne #counsellorhawthorn #counsellormalvern #carlrogers #carlrogersquote #carlrogersquotes #personcentered #personcentred #personcentredcounselling #personcentredcounsellor #mentalhealth #supportivespace #therapy #mytherapistsays #therapist See more

17.01.2022 If youre currently grappling with body acceptance and challenging diet culture then this book is a must read. If youre feeling distressed about your body size then this is a must read. Thanks @harrietnbrown . - Jodie . .... . . . #therapybooks #therapybookclub #therapistbookclub #bookclub #HAES #mentalhealth #recommendedbook #recommendedbooks #bodyimage #bodyimagework #bodyacceptance #bodyneutrality #bodydiversity #bodypositive #bodypositivity #HAES #nondiet #bopowarrior #riotsnotdiets #youareenough #yourbodyisnottheproblem #allbodiesareworthy #allbodies #bopo #bodyimagehealing #EDrecovery #bodyimagetherapist #bodyimagetherapy #selfcompassion #selfacceptance #fatisafeministissue See more

15.01.2022 Why journal? Here are just some of the benefits. Ive shared how to overcome common concerns that can stop us from journalling, and some prompts to get you started, in recent posts. . - Jodie

15.01.2022 A bunch of resources I recommend for improving body image and relationship with food...

14.01.2022 Some of the important ingredients of improving self-compassion. Its one of my favourite things to help people with! Which one are you working on right now? - Jodie

13.01.2022 Are you compulsively busy in order to avoid the feelings that pop up when you have time and space? . - Jodie . .... . . . #busy #busyisnotabadgeofhonor #busyisnotthegoal #rest #recovery #compulsivebusyness #exhaustion #fatigue #selfkindness #selfcompassion #personalgrowth #therapy #therapist #therapistsofinstagram #burnout #overwhelm See more

13.01.2022 MAKE IT RAINN #HeyThereHuman

13.01.2022 Dealing with your inner critic...

12.01.2022 Sometimes we can get so focused on being productive and getting things done that it takes over. We no longer feel comfortable enjoying a rest, we are no longer fully present, no longer fully connected to others. It can be helpful to remind ourselves of our values. What is most important in our lives? Does ticking off the To Do list get priortised when its not actually a priority? I hope you can enjoy some space this festive season to reconnect with who and what is import...ant to you. . - Jodie . . . . . #busy #busyisnotabadgeofhonor #busyisnotthegoal #balance #valuesbasedliving #values #rest #relaxation #selfkindness #selfcompassion #compulsivebusyness #downtime See more

12.01.2022 So many people have mentioned how much Caroline Dooners book The F*ck it Diet has helped them heal their relationship with food. This is a wonderful quote from the book. . - Jodie . .... . . . . #riotsnotdiets #bookclub #bodyimage #bodyimagework #bodyacceptance #bodyneutrality #bodydiversity #bodypositive #bodypositivity #HAES #nondiet #bopowarrior #riotsnotdiets #youareenough #yourbodyisnottheproblem #allbodiesareworthy #allbodies #bopo #bodyimagehealing #EDrecovery #bodyimagetherapist #bodyimagetherapy #selfcompassion #selfacceptance #fatisafeministissue See more

10.01.2022 Thank you Sonya Renee Taylor for your amazing book The body is not an apology. So many people list this book as integral to healing their relationship with their body. . - Jodie . .... . . . #bodyimage #bodyimagework #bodyacceptance #bodyneutrality #bodydiversity #bodypositive #bodypositivity #HAES #nondiet #bopowarrior #riotsnotdiets #youareenough #yourbodyisnottheproblem #allbodiesareworthy #allbodies #bopo #bodyimagehealing #EDrecovery #bodyimagetherapist #bodyimagetherapy #selfcompassion #selfacceptance #fatisafeministissue #sonyareneetaylor #therapistsofinstagram #therapistbookclub #bookclub See more

10.01.2022 Ive seen so many people believe they are a failure or not enough because they are struggling. Struggling does not mean we are a failure. It means we are human. We ALL experience struggles. . - Jodie . .... . . . . #innercritic #selfcriticism #selfcompassion #selfconfidence #selfkindness #human #iamenough #selfcompassioncoach #selfcompassioncoaching #selfcompassionjourney #mytherapistsays #innerwork #transformation #therapy #counselling #counsellingmelbourne #counsellinghawthorn #counsellingmalvern #hawthorn3122 #hawthorneast3123 #malvern3144 #mentalhealth #struggleisreal #struggling #struggle #struggles #therapistsofinstagram See more

09.01.2022 Looking for a read over the holiday period? An inspiring feminist manifesto calling for the end of oppressive diet culture- and embracing and accepting bodies of all sizes. By @virgietovar . - Jodie . .... . . . #bodyimage #bodyimagework #bodyacceptance #bodyneutrality #bodydiversity #bodypositive #bodypositivity #HAES #nondiet #bopowarrior #riotsnotdiets #youareenough #yourbodyisnottheproblem #allbodiesareworthy #allbodies #bopo #bodyimagehealing #EDrecovery #bodyimagetherapist #bodyimagetherapy #selfcompassion #selfacceptance #fatisafeministissue #bookclub #therapistbookclub #feministbookclub See more

09.01.2022 Is it time to let go of some ideas that are holding you back? Therapy is a great place to explore and challenge these ideas that dont serve you. Imagine how youd feel and behave if you no longer believed this idea . - Jodie . .... . . . #mytherapistsays #therapistmemes #therapistsofinstagram #therapist #therapists #therapy #selfcompassion #selfkindness #growth #psychologicalgrowth #journalprompts #journalprompt #therapistmelbourne See more

08.01.2022 Many people are hard on themselves for not having it all together or handling this better as they perceive others to be doing a much better job of it all. In our daily lives we dont see peoples vulnerability very often. On social media we put our highlight reel out to the world. At work we put on our professional face. When asked how we are we say busy! or good. Our culture doesnt give us a lot of space to say You know what? Im struggling actually. So t...his gives us the false sense that most people have it all together and that we are defective for struggling. As a therapist I am in the honoured position of hearing peoples worries, witnessing their vulnerability, and sitting with them during struggle. I know that everyone struggles. Its human to struggle. You are not alone in struggling just because no one is talking about it. - Jodie

08.01.2022 Some of my recent posts have been covering the unhelpful stories we hold about ourselves, others and the world. When you have a big reaction to something, or make an assumption without knowing the whole picture, look for the story involved. You may have a story you jump to over and over again. Someone didnt text you back? See nobody cares about me or Nobody sticks around or People cant be trusted. Someone is quieter than usual? I have upset them or They are going t...o break up with me or I need to fix this. Practice reminding yourself: I dont know the whole picture, there are a lot of possibilities, and this is my familiar story I tell myself. . - Jodie . . . . . #narrative #narrativetherapy #authorofyourownstory #counselling #counsellingmelbourne #counsellinghawthorn #counsellingmalvern #skypecounselling #telephonecounselling #counsellormelbourne #counsellorhawthorn #counsellormalvern #personalgrowth #mentalhealth #supportivespace #therapy #mytherapistsays #therapist #therapistsofinstagram See more

08.01.2022 Just because you havent realised or acknowledged your strengths, it doesnt mean theyre not there. People close to you see those strengths! I sit across from clients clearly seeing strengths like bravery, insight, vulnerability, authenticity... when often the client cannot see those things in herself. They are there. Well discover them together. . - Jodie . .... . . . #innercritic #selfcriticism #selfcompassion #selfconfidence #selfkindness #human #iamenough #selfcompassioncoach #therapistsofinstagram #therapist #therapists #therapy #therapysession #selfcompassioncoaching #selfcompassionjourney #mytherapistsays #innerwork #transformation #therapy #counselling #counsellingmelbourne #counsellinghawthorn #counsellingmalvern #hawthorn3122 #hawthorneast3123 #malvern3144 #mentalhealth #camberwell3124 See more

08.01.2022 Today my Imposter Intimidator reared her ugly head. Thank goodness I have tools to deal with her. What type of inner critic do you have?

07.01.2022 - ______________ In this post I cover something that gets in the way of good listening and supporting our friend - JUDGING... You may have judgements about the situation your friend is in or the way they are handling it. For most of us, our brains are really practiced at assessing things as good vs bad and positive vs negative. Its also understandable that we might jump to imagining what wed do or say in a similar situation. We might assess what our friend is doing via the lens of our own values, preferences, and experiences. And we might be trying to protect our friend. Expressing our judgements about our friends struggle or situation is not at all helpful. , . Some ways to boost empathy shared in the comments... If you have strong judgements about your friend or their situation, and you cant seem to put them to the side, then you may not be the most helpful person for your friend right now. Assisting your friend to seek professional help or another supportive person might be the most helpful thing you can do. (Please note that this post is not referring to situations of abuse/violence/risk of harm/lack of safety. These situations are complex and may require you to state your genuine concerns in order to get help) ______________ In Part 5 I cover why giving advice isnt as helpful as it feels. Found this helpful? Please like, save for later and share. QUESTION How do you deal with your judgements when listening to a friends struggles? Share your tips in the comments if you feel comfortable. #kindness #compassion #helping #mentalhealth #community #care #caring #therapy #mytherapistsays #therapistsofinstagram #struggling #afriendinneed #friendship #listening #carequotes #kindnessquotes #helpingquotes #empathy #helpers

07.01.2022 If you’ve felt guilty about productivity during lockdown, or you’ve felt inadequate seeing friends bake, sew, garden, exercise, and create their way through iso, then please read this article.

07.01.2022 Wanting to journal for your mental health but dont know where to begin? Here are some prompts to help get you started. Check out how to overcome common barriers in my recent post, or for more detail about these prompts check out my blog post. https://www.jodiearnot.com.au/blog/journalling-ideas-prompts Heres to your next journal entry! . - Jodie .

06.01.2022 You are not alone in feeling unusual levels of anxiety right now. This is painful. You may have noticed that trying to pretend the anxiety isnt there is very unhelpful. Avoiding or numbing might feel better very short term, but it makes our anxiety much worse long term. (See Safety Behaviours) There are many tools that can help you manage your worries throughout this tough time. Please reach out for help via video (telehealth) or telephone. Https://www.Jodiearnot.com.au . - Jodie

04.01.2022 Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed for talking about your problems because you see them as small or insignificant? Most people worry that their concerns pale in comparison to others who are going through what they see as much more challenging. You might think How can I talk about my worries about my work when my friend is going through cancer treatment? How can I talk about my body image distress when theres people living in war torn countries? As a therapist I d...ont compare your pain and worries to the person who sat on the couch before you. I dont compare your pain to my own, I dont compare your distress to others in the world. I do this work because I see all pain as significant and because I truly believe that we can all benefit from a safe space to work through any concerns. Nothing is too small. . - Jodie . . . . . #therapistsecrets #secretsfromatherapist #therapy #therapistadvice #therapist #therapistsofinstagram #yourlocaltherapist #counselling #psychotherapy #counseling #virtualtherapy #onlinetherapy #selfcare #copingskills #therapists #counsellor #counselor #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #selfgrowth

04.01.2022 - ______________ Seeing a friend struggle is rough and we can feel a bit lost wondering how to best help. Part 1 and 2 in this series covered how rushing to 'fix' can be unhelpful. So what IS helpful? Listening. However theres a special way to do it thats super important for supporting others and improving our relationships. In this post I cover how to REALLY listen. _______________... Theres listening and then theres really listening. Listen with your whole body, not just your ears. Face the person, look at them, give them your full attention Keep your body language open (no crossed arms) Nod your head Dont interrupt, but when theres a pause you might even reflect back to them what they have said (which confirms youve heard and understood) You may like to ask questions but Ill cover that in Part 6 Try to make it all about them, and take yourself out of the equation for the moment. By this I mean put your opinions, experiences, stories to the side so you can listen better. Really focus on what they are saying, instead of waiting to speak. When we're struggling being really listened to is so medicinal. ______________ In Part 4 I cover what we need to do if we find our own judgements sneaking in when listening to our friends struggle. Dont want to miss it? Hit the 3 dots at the top right of this post and click Turn on post notifications Found this helpful? Please like, save for later and share. QUESTION Do you know someone who is an amazing listener? Tag them and thank them in the comments if you feel comfortable. #therapistsofinstagram #innerwork #selfgrowth #communicationskills #listeningskills #relationshipskills #support #mentalhealth #helpers #listening #listeners

04.01.2022 - Is someone in your life struggling right now and you want to know how you can best help? See the earlier posts for 7 other ways you can help. _______________... Its completely normal to want to reassure our friends with promises that everything will be ok. We so want it to be true, but we really cant promise that. Sometimes things just arent ok. : Minimise how painful and distressing the current moment is for your friend Communicate that you are unwilling to sit with your friend in their pain Make your friend feel like they should get over it or be positive Your friend may have received news that their loved one has a terminal illness. Saying everything will be ok ignores the fact that your friend is facing a devastating loss. Instead of saying Everything will be ok, he will pull through it is more helpful to express This sucks. Im so sorry for your pain. When we say everything will be ok we are not only trying to comfort our friend (ineffectively) we are also trying to comfort ourselves. It can minimise what our friend is experiencing (Well if she thinks everything is going to be ok, she will think Im overreacting if I tell her how hard this is for me) and it can also shut down the conversation. We want to be opening up conversation and connection with our struggling friend and giving them space to feel their feelings. We dont need to beat ourselves up if weve said this in the past. Heavens knows Ive said plenty of unhelpful things when trying to be helpful! When we know more, we can do better. Ive retired this phrase. ______________ In Part 9 I cover another tip for helping a struggling friend. Found this helpful? Please like, save for later and share. QUESTION What words do you find comforting when you're struggling? Share in the comments if you feel comfortable.

04.01.2022 I havent introduced myself for a while so I thought Id pop my face up and say hello. Im sure it doesnt take being a therapist to notice that anxiety is much higher amongst so many of us right now, and moods are a lot lower. Self-awareness, self-compassion and self-care are more important than ever. Connection is also so important right now but can feel challenging. People have mentioned after their therapy sessions that their anxiety has lessened and theres a sense of re...lief and perspective. Im still offering in-person sessions for anyone who is not self-isolating or unwell, but I also offer Skype and telephone sessions too! (And have been for almost 3 years). It feels good to have a sense of purpose during this destabilizing time, so Im loving continuing my work. . - Jodie . . . . . . #therapist #therapistsofinstagram #covid19coping #onlinetherapist #onlinetherapy #anxiety #anxietyrelief #selfcare #selfcompassion #healthanxiety #therapists #therapy #counsellormelbourne See more

03.01.2022 Some starting points for self-compassionate self-talk. If you'd like more information on self-compassion, it's benefits, and how to practice see my blog

02.01.2022 Our culture talks about bodies as objects to acclaim or condemn. Objects to manipulate into a socially approved of shape and size. Bodies are seen as unruly, needing to be controlled and restrained. Bodies are seen as currency, buying our way to a certain status. Were told that bodies are not to be trusted. That their worth is conditional on their outward appearance. Its no wonder why negative body image is so prevalent. You are not to blame for your body struggles. . - Jod...ie . . . . . . . . #bodyimage #bodyimagework #bodyacceptance #bodyneutrality #bodydiversity #bodypositive #bodypositivity #HAES #nondiet #bopowarrior #riotsnotdiets #youareenough #yourbodyisnottheproblem #allbodiesareworthy #allbodies #bopo #bodyimagehealing #EDrecovery #bodyimagetherapist #bodyimagetherapy #selfcompassion #selfacceptance #fatisafeministissue #bodyrespect #bodykindness #bodypeace See more

01.01.2022 Journalling is a little like meditation in that most people agree its wonderful for mental health and they intend to make it a practice, but it just never seems to happen. Here are some common concerns about therapeutic journalling. Hope the gentle reminders help break down those barriers. . Of course Im not suggesting that journalling can replace a trained professional, however its an accessible way for us to work on our own mental health and growth. And if youre worki...ng with a therapist it will help you to bring rich material to your sessions and reflect between sessions. . Ill share some prompts in an Instagram post soon, or check out my blog post (link in Insta bio). . - Jodie . . . . . . #innercritic #selfcriticism #selfcompassion #selfconfidence #selfkindness #human #iamenough #selfcompassioncoach #selfcompassioncoaching #selfcompassionjourney #mytherapistsays #innerwork #transformation #therapy #counselling #counsellingmelbourne #counsellinghawthorn #counsellingmalvern #hawthorn3122 #hawthorneast3123 #malvern3144 #malvern #hawthorn #mentalhealth #journal #journaling #journalling #therapistsofinstagram #therapeuticjournaling #therapist See more

01.01.2022 Many people will apologise for crying in sessions. That makes sense when we think of how our culture responds to displays of emotion. People in your life may get uncomfortable when you express sadness. They may try to get you to stop and cheer up, or try to fix things when you just want to be listened to. Seeing the people we love in pain is very difficult and easier to avoid than sit with. However, you do not have to be sorry for feeling when youre in session with yo...ur therapist. Thats what this safe space is for! When you cry I empathise and feel compassion, and I will hold space for your pain. When you cry I am not worried, nor uncomfortable, and I dont find it too much. I see it as a sign that our work is going well, you feel safe, youre feeling important feelings, and we are progressing. You can cry whenever you need or want to with me. - Jodie