Karina Lane | Coach

Karina Lane

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25.01.2022 New business cards arrived. So pretty!

24.01.2022 I had a great time chatting to Jimmy and Nath about pandemic parenting over at Hit Hobart. Click below to see if my tips can help you too xx

22.01.2022 It turns out that my Saturday nights are now about folding washing and pairing hundreds of white socks. Weirdly, couldn't be more content. How are you spending your Saturday night?

22.01.2022 I'm no good at craft. Or baking. And getting down on the floor for creative play..... ..yeah, not so good at that either. I used to really worry that I wasn't in to any of these things, like my kids would miss out or something if I wasn't up to scratch. But over the years I've learnt a few things about raising kids, and guess what? There's only ONE thing that kids actually need from us. This gave me a lot of relief when I discovered it. The only thing they need us to be pretty good at? Being emotionally available. Phew! **packs playdough and glitter away for EVER** So what does it mean, exactly, to be emotionally available? It means being present when your kids are experiencing their emotions. It means offering your support for those intense feelings and big problems. It means being able to hold the space during meltdowns and tantrums. It means being able to help your child process and express their emotions. It means holding back from giving advice and solving their problems. It also means being great with your own feelings. Now, sometime all this is easy. You know, when you have time, and when you're feeling confident, it's easy to sit down with a child and help them out with their feelings. But sometimes it's tough. Especially if you've got your own stuff going on and a gazillion things to get done. Or other children that need you. Or if you find yourself dealing with a monster of a meltdown and just don't know what to do or say. Ever been in that predicament? Look, it's okay to feel out of your depth when it comes to your kids'' emotions. We all do some days. And it's okay to not have time to help them out. And it's okay to really dislike the process and prefer to run for the hills rather than sit down and talk feelings. All that's okay. But our kids need us all the same. Because guess what? If they don't learn how to manage their feelings and solve their problems from us.. (the centre of their universe and primary care giver) ..They don't learn. Then they grow up relying on what they've seen and heard us do to manage our feelings. It's classic monkey-see-monkey-do. Yikes. Pressure much, right?? The good news is, it's easy to equip yourself with the skills to do this. It takes time and plenty of practice, but you can do it, if it's important you. If you have a roadmap, it's even easier. A step-by-step system with expert support and guidance.. Well not only is it much easier to do it this way, but you'll achieve results faster. Want my help to get you started? Send me a PM and I'll hook you up. Karina xx

21.01.2022 Did you know that behind most challenging behaviour in children is a need that has gone unmet? So when you get meltdowns, misbehaviour, whining and generally annoying shenanigans in your kids, chances are they're letting you know about that need, in their own unique way :) But instead of attending to that need, many parents focus on behaviour management instead...which kind of ignores the unmet need. ... And so child finds another way to let you know about that need, in some other form of annoying behaviour. This is why techniques like time out don't work - because they focus on the behaviour, not the need behind it. But when we stop focussing on behaviour and instead look for the unmet need, things become easier. And the more we do it this way, the less needy our kids become. Which means that parenting life becomes more manageable and enjoyable. Magic! Want to know more about this approach? Come join my free group, Club Motherhood. Link is in the comments. See you there! Karina xx

21.01.2022 Something weird happened yesterday... I put contact on this pile of school books and the process wasn't too bad. No tears. No stress. No strong beveridge required. I didn't even mind the bumps I couldn't iron out. ... It got me thinking: maybe not everyone out there hates this chore. Do some really like covering books? Is that even possible?? Tell me: do you love it or hate it?

20.01.2022 Doesn’t it? via @therealamericandadass

19.01.2022 Last night, my twins asked me to play hide and seek, just before bedtime. I was exhausted, and looking forward to them all being in tucked up in bed so I could kick back on the couch and watch Breaking Bad. So I said no, it was too late.... But their little faces begged me. And I know when I'm being a boring adult, so I gave in. And you know what? Hide and seek is pretty fun, even when you’re feeling old and tired like me. Despite myself, I get into the whole over-the-top looking for the kids, exclaiming that I can’t find them, even though their excited giggles are totally giving them away. And is it just me, or does anyone else get a little rush when you discover a premium hiding spot that the kids can’t find? Unanticipated fun. We have a lot of moments like this in our house, because like you, I can be pretty focussed on just getting through the day, forgetting about the opportunities for fun. Sometimes we have to let our kids remind us. We can get really bogged down in the rules and regulations of parenting, but don’t let that get in the way of enjoying time together. Say ‘yes’ sometimes, instead of ‘no’. Be silly. Dress up with the kids. Play hide and seek. None of these have to take up a lot of time, and are GREAT for dissolving stress and grumpiness... ...or reminding you that you're NOT too old or too tired to indulge in some fun here and there. How do you keep the fun factor alive at your place?

19.01.2022 Need some support with parenting during these crazy times? I'm going to be live over at Babyology very soon and would love to help you out. Whether it's sleep related, behaviour related, or personal wellbeing related (because that counts too!!), come on over and ask away xx

18.01.2022 Right now my number one mission in life is to get this guy into the washing machine. My youngest son carries Piggy everywhere he goes and refuses to let me wash him. I swear he's meant to be two shades lighter than he is. Piggy, the game's up. Hand yourself in. You stink. Has your child got a much loved but kind of filthy companion?

17.01.2022 Hey lovely mum! Want to know how to remove parenting stress, control your mood and manage big behaviour? Join my free group to discover strategies and techniques (that really work) for making life with kids easier and more chilled. https://bit.ly/moremagicnow

16.01.2022 Hey there, fellow mum - and welcome! If you're anything like me, you got into this parenting gig for the magic of it all, right? Because, how great is being a mum?? But of course, it's not always magic. ... As a mum of four, I know how tough raising kids can be -and how darn emotional it can get. But among all the chaos, overwhelm and noise of family life, I know the secrets to raising happy, healthy kids and weathering all manner of parenting storms along the way. See, it’s all about reducing parenting stress and enhancing the magic. Want to know more? Then come join my free group, Club Motherhood. This is where I share great tips and helpful info for making your motherhood life less stressful, more fun, and more fulfilling. It’s where all the amazing, passionate mums like you are hanging out...enjoying more motherhood magic every day. See you in there! xx

14.01.2022 Can I ask you a question? Are you like hundreds of other parents who want family life to be harmonious again? Because this year has been tough for mums and dads - and parenting life has been anything but calm, right?... The kids don't listen, so you shout. They answer-back and push you to your limits...so you try giving them consequences or time-out... that never works. You wake each morning with a plan to stay patient and in control all day, no matter what... ...but the tantrums and constant whining leave you feeling broken by breakfast. Every night you go to bed with a head full of guilt, remorse and worry. Can you relate? If you're looking to make some changes this year - before we head into those looong summer holidays... Then join me this week for a free online workshop to get you back on track. As a parenting coach, specialising in emotions and connected parenting, I can help you: - ditch the discipline techniques that don't work so you can stop wasting time on them - discover my powerful 3-Step formula for dissolving misbehaviour and stopping it reoccurring - shape your child’s personality and prepare them to become the person you truly want them to be - deepen your relationship with your child on a profound level so that your bond becomes rock-solid, even on the toughest days - take control of your emotions so you don't need to shout or lose patience - enjoy family life with more magic and less stress For all the details, hit the link in the comments. Hope to see you on Wednesday! Karina xx

13.01.2022 The other day over at Babyology, I got asked whether I used a Parent Coach when my kids were young. I didn't, but I've used various coaches since, to help me in life, business and wellbeing. The great thing about coaching is that it helps you move forward in your journey, by removing limiting beliefs and knocking out obstacles, so your path is much clearer and load much lighter. So my question for you is: would empowering beliefs and less obstacles help you parent with mor...e clarity and joy?? Given that the toughest parenting challenges often come from our own mindset, I'm guessing YES...

13.01.2022 Credit Alright mom

12.01.2022 Your child doesn't need you to be perfect. You don’t need to be smart, rich, funny, or a great cook. There's only one thing your child really needs from you in order to thrive emotionally...... ...and that's for you to be there. Helping your child to manage their emotions is possibly the most important thing you can do for them. Enhancing the emotional bond between the two of you is a sure fire way to get there... ...and fortunately, this is a pretty simple task on your part. You just need to be emotionally available and responsive. Of course, all sorts of things can get in the way of this: busy life, stress, limiting beliefs and your own childhood past to name a few. But once you're aware of these obstacles, it's possible to overcome them and become the emotion coach your child needs you to be. How confident are you with supporting your child's emotions?

12.01.2022 "To children, our boundaries mean we see you, we love you, we care enough to make the effort, an effort that children always sense and appreciate. Never doubt that." As much as we want our kids to love us and LIKE us, sometimes what they really need is for us to take charge. Can you relate to this article?

11.01.2022 Can I just say...that I don't think two-year-olds are terrible? Maybe that's because we're way past toddler stage at my house, so those crazy days are a distant memory for me. The thing about toddlers, is that they can't help being the way they are. ... They're not terrible, they just...struggle at times. It's a tough world for a little person. They get told what to do all the time, hardly ever get to make decisions for themselves, often have a baby sibling to get used to.. and sometimes, SOMETIMES the toast being cut wrong, or being given the red cup instead of the yellow one can just be too darn much to bear. I get it. I had lots of fun talking to Megan and Leigh over at Mamamia about how to support these awesome little people. Check out my podcast interview on This Glorious Mess with Leigh and Tegan below.

11.01.2022 Love, love these points by The Mom Psychologist and I appreciate Maggie Dent's commentary as well: "For many boys - though not all - playing with guns and sword...s is common. I never bought mine guns and so they made them out of sticks, Lego and even toast. Swords - I bought plastic ones because I felt real sticks were more dangerous. One even slept with his plastic sword! There are some biological influences playing out here and as long as boys playing with 'weapons' learn about healthy boundaries - there is much to learn from this imaginative play. I explore this more thoroughly in my book Mothering our Boys. This phase does pass." UPDATE: Thought it would be good to share more of what Dr. Jazmine McCoy (The Mom Psychologist) wrote in her original posting of this. Also, please check out Dr. McCoy's IG page for more of her commentary and resources: I know seeing our children wield their play swords and point their pretend guns can be triggering. and look, I’m not saying to run out and purchase pretend weapons. I’m just inviting you to not always shut it down if/when it happens during play. As parents, we want our children to be loving and kind. Our worst fear is raising mean, violent social deviants, am I right? Our first instinct during these moments is often to shut it down and say "Play nicely with the toys!" as we nervously smile at other parents. But here's the thing - play = learning. Children use play to learn and explore deep human themes like right vs wrong, good vs evil, safety vs danger, power vs vulnerability. Play is children's vehicle for processing what they are exposed to. So yes, being around violence (via real life or through media) can influence children's play and lead to more aggression (through play or behavior) but pretend play that has aggressive undertones doesn't necessarily equate to more violence towards others. What's most important is to ask yourself, "Can my child play nicely with others? Do they get along with their peers?" If they're struggling with social interactions, then absolutely, they will need more support in learning social and coping skills. " Also, in a reply thread on one her posts, Dr. McCoy (who is a Black parent) acknowledged: "I am highly aware that Black and Brown children do not have the luxury of playing like this in public without risking their lives. As parents, establishing when/where this type of play is allowed and helping them understand why in developmentally appropriate ways is critical..." More here, please do check out Dr. McCoy's work: https://www.instagram.com/p/CHNi_dlgSdi/

10.01.2022 Who can relate?

09.01.2022 There’s a lot to feel guilty about when you’re a mum. Whether it’s because we shouted or lost patience with the kids. Or because we desperately want a break or want to return to work. ... Or that we should be better at cooking/teaching/entertaining/cleaning/life in general. All mums feel guilty at some point. And while a little guilt here and there is a positive thing it reminds us that we’ve strayed from our core values too much can be toxic, interfering and a complete waste of precious time. Believe me, hanging on to guilt leads you down a dead end street. NOTHING can come from it, other than feeling like shit and missing out on enjoying time with your kids. Next time you feel guilty, take the lesson it’s trying to tell you about, and show it the door. Beyond the message, guilt can do nothing else for you. Move forward with your new learning and let it go. Do you struggle with mum guilt?

09.01.2022 We all have this ideal picture of how we want to be as parents... ...patient... ...loving... ...attentive.... And it's pretty easy to be these things when our kids are tiny bundles of joy, with pretty basic needs. But as those babies get older, and become toddlers, preschoolers and school kids? WOW. Reality sets in, in a big way. Suddenly we're dealing with attitudes and behaviours from our pint-sized humans that no one prepared us for. And that idealistic scene of the parent we want to be becomes further and further from the truth...right?? Believe me, I KNOW what it's like. The kids don't listen, so we shout. They bicker and squabble until we can't take it anymore, so we shout. The tantrums and constant whining or refusal to do what we've asked (a million times) does our head in, so we shout. Can you relate? First things first: if you can, you're NOT alone. Secondly, if you want to change, I can help. If shouting and feeling angry at your kids is becoming a habit for you... ...if you're sick of feeling guilty about raising your voice or losing your temper. And if you want motherhood to be easier and more peaceful... Then, you're gonna love the (FREE) Chilled Mum Blueprint session. Just hit the link below to secure your spot xx https://mumsupport.karinalane.com.au/chilled-mum-blueprint-

09.01.2022 Hey fellow mum, have you checked out Club Motherhood, my free FB group yet? This happening little group is growing every week and I'm sharing some awesome stuff in there to help you out in your motherhood game. Come check it out - I'll even give you a free copy of my Listening Secrets Guide when you join, which will make communicating with your little ones a LOT easier. ... Link to join is in the comments. See you over there! xx

08.01.2022 As much as I've loved hanging out with these guys for two weeks, I'm a little giddy about school going back today...I miss my brain and the ability to think complete thoughts. Anyone else looking forward to some headspace this week?

08.01.2022 I was helping out over at Babyology yesterday, and we got chatting about the magic of offering more choices to our young kids, particularly for toddlers and preschoolers. For little ones engaging in misbehaviour, not listening and boundary pushing, often what's underneath is about a need for control. See, when you think about it, we spend a lot of time making decisions for our younger children, and virtually controlling most of their waking hours!... 'It's time for breakfast.' 'Brush your teeth!' 'We're going out now.' 'Time for a nap!' etc etc. Your little person's way of challenging this is to act out. To balance this out a little, give your young child some choices to make of their own... So they get to feel in charge of some things. Once they start feeling in control over some areas in their life, you'll find the acting out behaviour start to shift. TIP: when you're letting them make a choice, give them two options to choose from. That way, whatever choice they make is one you're happy with... And little person feels ON TOP Need some more motherhood tips? Come join me over at Club Motherhood, where we are all about making parenting world easier xxx

08.01.2022 The first rule of Gift Bag Club: We don't talk about Gift Bag Club. . ~ Via Whine and Cheez - its by Rachel Sobel ~

07.01.2022 I mean ... the timing’s close. via @mimosaswithmoms

07.01.2022 Oh man, this would come in handy at our place. How bout you? Do the kids prefer your bed to theirs?

06.01.2022 Children see their problems, however big or small, as deadly serious. As wise and lived adults, we might see their problems as trivial, and want them to get back to happy by distracting them or trying to talk them out of their upset. But what helps children the most is having us WITH THEM in their emotions rather than us trying to stop them from feeling what they feel. ... By placing yourself in your child’s shoes, and seeing the world from their view, you’ll be in a much better position to offer the support your child needs. We might not always understand or agree with our child’s problems and emotions, but it’s impossible to offer an empathetic approach without trying to. If you’re really struggling to see their point of view, try simply reflecting back what they say to you, parrot style. It will get easier.

05.01.2022 Laughed a little too much at this

05.01.2022 Like many businesses, this year has been super challenging for me. Not only did Covid-19 make everything really stressful, but the homeschooling weeks made it near impossible to stay on track with work. I spent that whole time trying to stay sane, if I'm completely honest. ... In the end I decided to just stop. Instead of freaking out, I went down a reinvention path, so that in between all the Seesaw logins and Zoom class calls, I said good-bye to my old business and started this new journey as a parenting coach - with a mission to help amazing parents raise brilliant, emotionally aware kids. A mere few weeks into my adventure and I received this... At first, I thought: Leadership, me? Really? But then I remembered my dream: to help parents raise a new generation of humans... ...who know how to deal with their emotions - even the really tough ones. Can you imagine a world where our kids grow up to be adults who can embrace, process and express their feelings in a functional way? So instead of using drugs, alcohol, violence or destructive relationships (as many of us have done to deal with our emotions), they actually - gasp, horror - TALK about them and WORK THROUGH their problems?? Then I got all shivery and excited and decided that, hell yeah, let's go for it. Leadership Award? I'M IN. And that's how I got to be a finalist in the 2020 AusMumpreneur awards

04.01.2022 This year has been tough for us parents. The best advice I can give you? Focus on just two things for the rest of 2020: Connect with your kids and stay sane. ... Kids need to know their world is safe, and even though it's different, they need to feel secure in this trying time. Maximise opportunities for connection with each child you have. Seize moments to delight in your kids, either with physical affection, focused attention or asking lots of enthusiastic questions about their latest Minecraft conquest. Take the time to really tune into your child, even if it’s just for a few minutes at a time. This is the type of interaction that your child needs right now, to feel safe and secure in a world that is pretty scary right now. As for staying sane? Well, you do what you gotta do, lady. Let some rules slide, loosen boundaries as much as you can cope with, and just aim to keep family life ticking over. Factor in at least one thing every day that makes you happy: chocolate, exercise, meditation, whatever. This is about keeping your head above water - which is probably the best most of us can hope for right now. Some day soon, life will get back to normal and you can put everything back in its place. Right now, your sanity is way too important to mess with - people are counting on you xx

04.01.2022 A parenting coach helps you become the parent you want to be. We all have parenting ideals, and perhaps long before your first child even arrived on the scene, you had some pretty strong beliefs about how YOU wanted to parent. To be available, attentive, fair, loving, firm, patient whatever. The thing is, when those babies start arriving, and grow into toddlers, preschoolers and primary school kids, all sorts of challenges and obstacles get thrown into the mix, making tho...se parenting goals suddenly very hard to achieve. Parent coaching can help you work through specific struggles, such as tantrums, meltdowns and misbehaviour, or can help you more personally, such as with confidence, stress or connecting with your kids. By the way, seeking the help of a parenting coach doesn’t mean you’re no good at raising your kids. In fact, the opposite is true: seeking support and more resources to improve your parenting game make you an extraordinary mum with very lucky children...

04.01.2022 Damn...Spiderman jumped on too late. I would've loved to have worked with that guy today...

03.01.2022 Need a little laugh to start the day? You're welcome

03.01.2022 Driving yourself crazy trying to get your kids to listen? Try my tips

01.01.2022 This is what happens when a Special Effects guy stays at home with his son during lockdown...

01.01.2022 My $3,000 giveaway Hey lovely mums (and dads)! I have some exciting news to share. As many of you would know, I’m a parenting coach supporting mums and dads to enjoy parenting with less stress and more happiness ... I guide parents step-by-step to: Stay in control of their mood & kick the shouting habit Deal with tantrums & meltdowns more confidently Manage misbehaviour more effectively with techniques that really work I’ve combined 20 years of experience in psychology, parenting education and parent coaching to build The Connection Project, my signature 6-week program. I am looking for 3 mums to experience my updated coaching package, providing $3,000 of coaching on a pro bono basis to help them discover the easier, connected parenting path. There are only 3 spots. Who wants in? Drop your favourite emoji below for a quick chat on messenger to see if you qualify! Karina x