Counselling at Kids That Go in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia | Counsellor

Counselling at Kids That Go

Locality: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

Phone: +61 7 3087 1904

Address: 7U, Level 5, Paddington Central, 107 Latrobe Terrace, Paddington 4064 Brisbane, QLD, Australia

Website: https://kidsthatgo.com

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24.01.2022 Values enable us to stand for something in the presence of the various challenges we face. They dont take away the uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and sensations we experience, they empower us to do what is important to us even though we are experiencing them. Values are like the motivating carrot, encouraging us onwards in a much kinder way than the stick we often beat ourselves up with. They may differ from one aspect of our lives to another and at times can change depending on the priority we give them. Each moment of each day we can choose how we want to behave - whether we want to do things that take us closer to the life we want to live and the person we want to be, or whether we behave in ways that take us further away. The choice is ours....

24.01.2022 Please see attached link written by Dr Russ Harris (author of The Happiness Trap) around using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) in dealing with the Coronavirus crisis. Stay well everyone and take care of yourselves! https://drive.google.com//1_O8grFdwMDuGVIE_RvdRfhHhf/view

24.01.2022 Sound familiar? Parenting is constant, relentless and at times overwhelming. Sometimes it can feel as if there is no more room left in your head to think. We can get so caught up in caring for those around us, with high expectations around how we should be as parents, that the focus of care towards ourselves can be minimal. We find it easier to offer compassion to a friend who is struggling than we do to ourselves and yet self compassion in parenting has been positively associated with life satisfaction and hope. Being able to sit compassionately with our own pain, enable us to sit with the pain of others.

24.01.2022 I have noticed with one of my children, that being indoors all the time can feel overwhelming and leave them feeling at a loss of what to do. Although there is a lot they can find to do, they feel that their heart isnt really in it. Our mental and emotional health is imperative to keep an eye on at the moment and encouraging our children (and ourselves) to participate in activities that bring us joy is essential. Ensuring that we all get enough sleep, physical activity and... a diet of whole foods is important, as is maintaining a daily routine, connecting with family and friends and getting outside of the house where possible. This is a surreal, uncertain, confusing and isolating time for us all and yet it is the new normal. It is also an opportunity to connect with our children, talk with them about how they are finding this new reality and acknowledging their thoughts and feelings. Sitting with the unknown is one of the hardest things we can do. What we do know however, is that we are all here for each other and that this coronavirus phase will pass. Hang in there everyone, take care of yourselves and Happy Easter xx

21.01.2022 SELF COMPASSION FOR PARENTS Its OK to have good days. Its OK to have bad days. Its OK to cry about absolutely nothing.... Its OK to cry about absolutely everything. Its OK to find this hard even if you know there are other people in much worse situations that you. This is not a competition. Its OK to feel frustrated. Its OK to feel anxious. Its OK to feel scared. Its OK to feel. - Hurrah for Gin (Katie Kirby, author and mum of 2) See more

20.01.2022 Children learn most about grief and how to express it through watching the behaviour of the adults around them. Our values are often best communicated through our actions and can say more than any words we use. Like us, children need love, understanding and an opportunity to express their feelings in their own way, in a safe and supportive environment. Children need to be included in family grieving as fully as possible even if they dont completely comprehend what is goi...ng on. If they are sent away to family or friends to stay during this time, they will return to an altered family who has a shared experience of grief. This may leave the child feeling excluded with their grief unchanged since they were last with their family. It is important for us as parents not to hide our tears from our children as this represents a normal expression of grief. At times though, children may need reassurance from us if they have witnessed our intense crying or anger. They may need to know that nothing bad is going to happen as a result of our crying or shouting, but rather that we are just so sad that the person we love so much has died and that we miss them greatly. Children express their grief in many ways and I will touch on this next week. One thing to keep in mind is that boundaries around acceptable behaviour need to be maintained as they were before the loved one became sick or died. Grief is an explanation but not an excuse for disrespectful behaviour in both adults and children - whatever behaviour was deemed unacceptable before the death remains unacceptable after. Clear guidelines and boundaries around behaviour offer children a sense of safety and predictability that some things remain unchanged. It can also give them a sense of security that someone is in control of some things in life. Mckissock, D. & McKissock, M. (2012). Coping With Grief. HarperCollins: Australia.

20.01.2022 Sleeping tips when staying indoors during social isolation - Sleep Health Foundation https://www.sleephealthfoundation.org.au https://github.com//Slee/blob/master/sleep_in_isolation.md

19.01.2022 Each day when I hear the news, I am taken aback by the extraordinary numbers of people who have contracted COVID-19 around the world. I am deeply saddened by the sheer numbers of deaths and I find these devastating statistics difficult to comprehend. I also feel for the distress the families of those who have died must be feeling, with limited ability to be together and to support each other when their loved ones die. As we all know, death is inevitable and is our one certa...inty in life, however it is rarely spoken about, especially to our children. Like us, children learn best how to understand and live with death when they are not in the midst of grief and loss. As parents we need to teach our children about death as we explore facts and language around the natural world, of which we too are a part. We can do this by showing children dead or dying plants, insects and animals and allowing them to touch and observe them. We cam show that death can mean change: in colour and temperature, in not being able to breathe, move, eat, make sounds, feel or respond to touch. We can help children feel familiar with the word dead and to develop a sense of reverence for all life and respect for what has died. Importantly, we can help children understand that although someone close to them has died our relationship and connection with them lives forever. Talking to children about the death of a loved one can feel overwhelming, especially if we ourselves are grieving. In the next few posts I will explore how to broach this with your child as well as some of the common responses you can expect from them as they try to understand what is going on.

19.01.2022 The way we behave towards ourselves, others and the world around us, can be guided by our values. Values are our deepest desires around how we want to behave as humans. They give our lives a colourful richness, full of meaning, purpose and fulfilment. No matter where we are or what we do, values are like a compass, guiding our actions towards a direction in which to travel.

18.01.2022 A simple animation around how to manage the uncertainty and challenge facing us all. Take care of yourselves everyone.

18.01.2022 So, we are now all at home with our kids without the usual catch ups, outings and playdates. A rather daunting prospect, yet one that can offer great creativity and possibility. All too often we know we need to slow down our busy schedule in order to focus on the various challenges facing our children. Social isolation is enabling us this opportunity! The first parent support group being launched by Kids That Go is on SLEEP! Come and join us to learn why sleep is so important and be supported by our clinicians towards achieving better sleep routines and quality sleep for your children. For those interested, please message me directly through this page.

18.01.2022 Two books to help you and your child discuss love, connection, life and death.

14.01.2022 You have everything you need to live a life that matters to you.

13.01.2022 Value is an abstract, older person skill. It takes us all of our childhood and teen years to be able to truly connect our current behaviour to long term values. As parents we dont want to pull our children into adult ways of doing things, however we do want to help them develop a language around what is important to them and the things they love. Ways we can do this are as follows: - Encourage your children to participate in activities that incorporate the 6 ways to well...being: Being active; Challenging yourself; Noticing now; Connecting; Caring for yourself and Giving (Hayes & Ciarrochi, 2015). - Try and connect your childs behaviour to what they enjoy most, helping them connect words to what they really care about. Eg. I loved how you worked on your painting, it is fabulous to see you being creative. I really admire how patient you were with your brother, even though you were feeling frustrated. It looks like you had fun playing tag today, it is great to see you being active. You were really kind helping your friend up when she fell over, I am so proud of you. Hayes & Ciarrochi (2015). www.thrivingadolescent.com

12.01.2022 How can we as parents help our children move back into the flow of the river, into a state that avoids both chaos and rigidity? Read part two of The River of Wellbeing here...

12.01.2022 I highly recommend this book, it resonated with me on so many levels.

11.01.2022 Today is R U OK? day. A day where we are prompted to check on the wellbeing of those around us and ask R U OK? Everyone struggles with their mental health from time to time, feeling overwhelmed with their situation, not able to see a way out and questioning what is it all for? At times when we struggle we can become inwardly focused, less aware of the world around us, disconnected from friends and family and disengaged from activities that give us joy and purpose. Today ...is not about fixing anothers situation nor problem solving for them. Today is about asking someone R U OK? and being prepared to sit and listen compassionately with an open mind to whatever their response may be. It is knowing that their answer may be no I am not and allowing them to share how hard their situation is for them. Today is about connecting with others and providing support. So my question to you is... R U OK?

11.01.2022 Having a think around the words you choose when talking to children about death and dying can play a huge role in helping them comprehend the situation. Euphemisms like sleeping, lost and passed away are commonly used within our society, possibly in an attempt to soften the impact of the discussion. For children however, these words can be confusing and at times distressing as their meaning may be taken literally. If a child is told that Grandma is now asleep they m...ay become anxious themselves about going to bed and closing their eyes. If they hear that we have lost daddy, a child may continue to hope that one day daddy will eventually be found. Although religious beliefs play a significant role in peoples lives especially when a loved one dies, phrases like gone to heaven need a certain level of competence in abstract thinking to be understood. Young children may believe that heaven is a literal place with treats and fun toys and may wish that they themselves were there with the deceased to enjoy what heaven holds. Concepts likes these are often better left for older children. Helping children maintain a connection with the person who has died is very important, however we need to remember that what we say is truthful. Telling your child that Mummy is the rainbow we see after a storm is just not true and can lead to children distrusting what adults say. Alternatively we can help our child remember and honour their loved one by saying whenever we see a rainbow, we can remember how beautiful Mummy was, how she smiled whenever she saw us and how safe and loved we felt in her hugs. Fundamentally, children need to be told facts in a simple language that is appropriate for their age and level of understanding. In their younger years children manage best with simple explanations of what death is and what happens after we die. They need to know that questions are allowed and that they will be given an honest answer or that an answer will be found out for them if the answer is currently unknown. When children do ask questions it can be useful to check what their current understanding of the situation is. This not only allows adults thinking time, it also gives them an opportunity to correct misinformation and ensures that it is the right question they are responding to.

10.01.2022 I love this Pixar clip from a parenting perspective. The pull we can often feel to protect our children from experiencing adversity can be strong. I know myself that watching my children suffer has been heartbreaking and I have wished at times that I could alleviate some of their pain. Sitting with the discomfort we may feel when they are challenged and upset can be difficult. Allowing them however, to experience the fullness of an experience on their own without rescuing them, gives them the space in which to be curious about what is going on around them and discover their own possibilities and internal resources.

09.01.2022 When life is going smoothly and we feel good within ourselves, it is easier to behave in ways that take us closer to the life we want to live and the person we want to be. Life however is not always like this, and all too often we can get caught up in our thoughts and pushed around by our emotions, behaving reactively and often in ways that take us away from what really matters. Reminding ourselves of our values and trying to incorporate these into our day can enable us to... bring the essence of our chosen values into our behaviour. A challenge for you - Each morning before getting out of bed, think of one to two values you want to bring into play throughout the day, eg. Kindness, fun, patience. As you go about your day, look for opportunities where you can sprinkle these values into whatever you say and do. Notice what happens when you do this and what difference it makes.

08.01.2022 SELF CARE! Just like putting your own Oxygen mask on first before assisting others, caring for yourselves as parents is essential. With changing expectations currently facing us all - working from home, supporting home schooling, establishing daily routines, maintaining households, keeping everyone well fed, healthy and active - It can all feel overwhelming. Parents are not superhuman. It is not possible to do all things, giving 110% of yourself all the time. It is okay to let go of being the perfect parent, to take a break and be gentle on yourself. To PAUSE, BREATHE and NOTICE the world around you

08.01.2022 I have been reading a book by Dr Daniel Sigel, a neuropsychiatrist, and Dr Tina Bryson, a psychotherapist, who specialise in working with children and teenagers. Their book, The whole-brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your childs developing mind, which was a New York Times bestseller, explores how a childs brain functions and matures. Importantly, it explains why children behave the way they do, and why they can appear to be out of control. Sigel and Bryson, offer a new approach to child rearing with 12 key strategies that help healthy brain development, leading to happier and calmer children. It is an interesting read with readily appliable strategies and the next few blog posts are summaries I have compiled from the book.

06.01.2022 Took a little while to eventuate however here is a follow up from December from the book The Whole Brain Child. Ties in nicely with the closed Facebook groups currently underway through Kids That Go. If you are interested in joining these groups on sleep, managing big behaviours and toileting, please contact the office on: [email protected] Reference: Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2012). The whole-brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your childs developing mind. Brunswick, Vic.: Scribe Publications.

06.01.2022 As we all adapt to the challenges facing us around uncertainty and isolation, we want you to know that we are all still here for you and committed to providing you and your children with ongoing support, resources and care. Watch this space for parent groups coming soon!

05.01.2022 You can now contact me privately as well as book an appointment through messenger. I look forward to hearing from you!

05.01.2022 What are your hearts deepest desires for how you want to behave? Values are the desired qualities you want to bring to your behaviour right now and on an ongoing basis. They describe how you want to treat yourself, others and the world around you, and they are the qualities you want to embody in your own actions and often want to encourage in others. Values are not what you want to get, have, achieve or complete. They are not what you should do, have to do or the right... thing to do. Values are chosen. Your values are like an inner compass - they guide, give you direction, help you stay on track and enable you to find your path back again when you go off course. So how can you get in touch with your values? Consider the following questions... What do I want to stand for in this life? What sort of person do I want to be? What strengths and qualities do I want to develop? How do I want to behave in my relationships? What do I want my life to be about? Is there anything in my life that gives me a sense of meaning and purpose? How do I want to be remembered?

05.01.2022 In the midst of grief and loss, children can express their sadness in many different ways. They may go off on their own and cry privately into their pillow, not wanting others to see their tears or they may cry disproportionately in response to an ordinarily minor event such as being gently teased or stubbing their toe. This provides children with an opportunity and an excuse to express their bottled-up feelings. As parents it is important for us to normalise our children...Continue reading

04.01.2022 Letting go the concerns of the past and the worry for the future and bringing our attention back to the present moment with openness and curiosity, enables us to be responsive and present to the situation at hand and the people we are with.

04.01.2022 ! Isolation has us all at home more with our kids with fewer items on our schedule and fewer i...nterruptions from outside. This is a great time to focus on some issues you might be experiencing with your child. At Kids That Go, we have put together 3 closed Facebook groups to support you and your kids. These 3 groups are Sleeping Bliss, Taming Big Behaviours, and Poos in the Loo. Keep your eyes peeled for posts on each one of these groups or click the link in our bio to find out more. Please note! By registering for this group, you agree that, if you are not already a family at Kids That Go, you will need to book a 45min phone consultation ($135) for us to get to know your childs needs and hear about things that you have already tried. See our website for more.

02.01.2022 Sleep....are you getting enough?

02.01.2022 Often as adults we too struggle at times to be accepting of ourselves, getting caught up in our appearance and focusing on what we feel should be different. By learning to respect ourselves for all that we are and modelling this to our children, we can empower the next generation to move beyond focusing on appearance and instead celebrating each others values, abilities and worth.

02.01.2022 In our busy and often challenging lives, how often do we stop and consider what really is important to us? What is it that we want to stand for in this life and what kind of person do we truly want to be to ourselves and to those around us? it is all too easy to lose sight of what is actually meaningful to us, pursuing instead socially compliant goals and gratifications. Values are not goals. They are not things we want to achieve, have or complete, they are instead, a chosen, dynamic and ongoing process with no end. Being aware of our own values and helping our children gain a language around what it is that they care about, is an important part of being a parent. Over the next few weeks, I will be exploring the importance of values and how we can help our children connect their actions with what is important to them.

01.01.2022 From Monday 25th May, we are reopening our Paddington, Northlakes, and Ipswich clinics for face to face appointments. Alternatively, you can still request a Telehealth appointment with any of our clinicians.