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Life After Mum

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25.01.2022 Thankyou to the lovely lady in specsavers Morley. Today I went for an eye test. Of Course I took my little Bub, I had planned it at a time that every day this week has NOT been feed time. Today, the time I had my appointment was of course almost time for his mid morning feed! So just as I had to sit down and have bright lights shone in my eyes and little puffs of air blown at my eye ball! My gorgeous boy was winging and whining. Whilst I sat in the chair, feeling like the ...whole shop thought I was a totally useless mother, He stopped whinging....this was not because he just magically realised that I was busy it was because a lovely lady started rocking the pram back and forth whilst she was still finishing her appointment. I had seen the lady come in just after me and her friend/sister had taken her little toddler off for her so she could concentrate on her appointment...but instead of being selfish she helped me out for just 2/3 minutes. Little did she know that she had helped me so much as I had been fretting all morning about Alfie being unsettled while I was in the appointment because I knew it was going to coincide with his feeds. So my message is even 2 minutes help for someone could mean more than you'll ever know. So Thankyou to that lovely mummy it really did mean so much to me See more

25.01.2022 This kid He is a total shit most of the day today. Then after dinner, when he was meant to be doing something else he comes to me and shouts mummy, rose and Alice. Today is impaterrational girl day so we have to be nice to you all day! Well I think you should have started being nice pre bedtime but at least he acknowledged it. Boys will be boys and I love being the woman that gets to raise two sweet boys in this world. ... Happy impaterrational girl day Xxxx

25.01.2022 Every week I bake treats for my kids. They see it, they demolish it then ask for more. No appreciation!!! Today I baked for me and my hubby! We will indulge and appreciate for once.....we will also get to have more than half a piece and we won't have to share it with any little seagulls looking for more after their share!!! That is all....I have a whole cake to eat ... #allours #nokidshovering #doublechocolateheaven #saturdayfun

23.01.2022 Walking walking walking! So my alone time this week was a 3k walk around the suburb. I was sat on the couch at 5 o clock, previously that day Ty had said you go and have your time tonight and I'll just chill with Alfie. ... So I was sat there having a little nibble on Doritos and dip and thought "nah, I don't need time alone tonight" I then decided that a quick walk wouldn't hurt. So up I got and out I went. A wise woman said to me once, even if you feel like you don't need the time alone you do! She was right! I did need it and I felt so much more relaxed and refreshed once I got in. I put my music in my ears and stomped the paths of Bayswater....so good! You are a mum and you do everything for everyone else all day. Think about you and get out ALONE when you need it, even when you don't you will be so thankful you did. Happy Friday everyone!!!

21.01.2022 Alone time....ALONE! Yep that's correct I just went to the pool ALONE. Swam where I wanted to swim, went in the sauna, steam room and spa and I didn't speak to one person! Being a mum rocks and sucks but without doing something for me it would suck much more....... Thanks to my supportive husband for holding the forte for a few hours so I can ensure I don't melt into a dark place that isn't good for anyone in our house and it's worst for me and him!! Anyway back to the chaos.....

21.01.2022 Its been a while..... Here is my latest post

20.01.2022 Hi everyone Well I've had a bit of a break from posting. I was quite ill back in October and am now starting to get back into life again.... I thought I'd start my come back off by showing off my new book. My mum brought it for me, it's meant to be a diary for the first year of motherhood. I have adapted it slightly as I was a bit vacant the last 9 months so am going to start it from month 10! It will be my little secret book of non rational, silly mum thoughts over the next year. I may share some with you depending on how silly they are..... One quote I read in it today was "if anyone questions your decisions, maybe they're having trouble of their own" This stood out to me. We all struggle through motherhood, don't question your other Mumma's ladies. They are your lifeline when things crash down or when you need a wine or when you just want to get out. Stick together! It's good to be back!

18.01.2022 Took this boy shopping today. He is at such an awesome stage....you know that stage when your Bub is so freaking cute that their cuteness starts your ovaries twitching and makes you forget the hard slog it took to get here and the terrible twos you know is coming For now I'm going to enjoy every tiny little second with this cheeky Chappy! ... Enjoy the little things

18.01.2022 Fat mumma! This is my gorgeous boy at his party on Saturday. I saw this picture and felt very sad to see my overweight self in the background. I instantly thought urgh, I cannot show this picture to anyone, I look HORRENDOUS! ... Erm I kinda missed the fact that this picture is not about me. This picture is my son blowing his candles out on his birthday. When it comes to children they do not see your weight, your tired eyes, your bad hair, your terrible bra, your awful stretch marks....they see you. Just you, their mum. Their one and only, their rock in this world and the person that carried them inside them for 9 months which resulted in the stretch marks, the tired eyes and the weight gain. They are grateful for the sacrifices you made for them and they don't even notice the "bad" stuff you see in yourself. Next time I look at this pic I will see my son on his birthday blowing out his candles with his mumma by his side. Love yourself the way that they love you...

18.01.2022 Could not have said it better myself:

18.01.2022 I was having a think yesterday. As the cloud is lifting from the storm we have been in I could see a little clearer. I saw my husband again. I saw the kindness he shows me and the love that is pouring out of him towards me every day without fail. I wake up everyday to a motivational note on my coffee machine and a message checking I have woken up ok and am feeling good. There has not been a day since we got together that this man has not adored me. ... I forgot all about that over the last year and was worrying that my pregnant body was going to repulse him and my post baby flubber would turn him off. Nothing I mean NOTHING could break our love and I literally only had that realisation yesterday! It takes an amazing guy to get through the hard times with his wife and I found him. I also realised that I deserve this life and him. I work hard every day to be a good wife, mother and person. I give my whole heart to him everyday and would give my whole life for him and out kiddles so why I thought he would ever not want me is a little silly! We are a fab team and we can take on this world Mr Cherrie!

17.01.2022 I know I'm not alone here! I love being a mum, I love staying home and being available for my kids and husband but man do I need a holiday from time to time. The one thing missing from the job as stay at home mum is the 4 weeks annual leave! I know it's not going to change just thought I'd put it out there that my employer could reassess my annual leave allowance from none to some ... #dreamonmumma #ilovemyfamily #mightgointhebackgardenforabreak

17.01.2022 Apparently today peeing alone is a luxury! Mum life Happy Friday

16.01.2022 How the chuff does my bath look like this after one day.... Hmmm the 6 year old has landed! I don't know why I friggin bother

16.01.2022 Like every day I spent the day with my little treasure. Today we popped into the shops and of course he needed a feed while we were there. We went to the parent room at whitfords shopping centre....I just have to say how lovely, clean and comfortable it was in there. It is so lovely to know that we can go somewhere comfortable when we are out as I need to breast feed and bottle feed. It is so much more of a calm experience if we can both feel happy. As you can see, Alfie l...oved it! Well done Whitfords

15.01.2022 How can this boy not hear anything I say to him whilst driving in the car but he can hear the lyrics to a song that until he asked I'd not really realised what it was about "Why does this man want to DIE mummy?" "Huh"???? "This man singing said he wants to die"! ... "I don't know darling" Continued to read his target catalogue "Oh my goodness mummy, that man sang that he wanted to take someone's clothes off he SHOULD NOT be singing that around kids" OK let's put a nice PG CD on! Kids are total sponges and we really do forget that sometimes. Remember they can always hear you parents

15.01.2022 Very rare cuddles with this wriggle bum! I miss the early months when we could just sit and cuddle for hours. I feel like time just flies by so quick that we blink and they are grown and too old for cuddles (or so they think) I'm not going to blink for a while eyes wide open!!! ... Stop growing little boy!

15.01.2022 5 try a trillion!!!! When you have a good sleeper like our little Alfie, 1 night of constant waking up and then eventually sleeping on either me or his daddy's chest at 3am it really does feel like we have been hit by a bus! Today will mostly consist of coffee, delusional laughter, tears, very impatient parents and coffee! Oh and maybe coffee....did I mention coffee....here comes the delusional laughter ... To all the non sleeping baby parents....I salute you!

15.01.2022 What is post natal depression: It's when you feel cloudy, sad, useless, scared, lonely. But you have to care for a little person who, when you feel these feelings, also feels them. Why you?... Who bloody knows! What do you need? You need love, unconditional support, space, help, a safe place. What does it look like? It could be the girl in the supermarket with a full face of makeup, hair perfect, calm look on her face but feeling like a giant dragon is blowing fire in her face as she can't cope with all the noise and people! Looking to others like she is totally NAILING this parenting thing. It could be the dad in Kmart looking at the baby clothes feeling like everyone is judging him but also looking like he is NAILING parenting! It could be the family in the park. Laughing, playing but feeling like the sky is falling down on them...again LOOKING like they are nailing parenting. It could be you.... Looking a certain way and feeling the truth are two different things. Why am I talking about it you ask? Because for me, talking about it, saying it out loud has helped. Am I "better" because I have talked about it. No. Am I coping. Yes. Parenting is the single, hardest thing I have ever done and do every day. I make mistakes, I shout, I get it wrong. I also love with my whole self and would die for every child. I want to LOOK like I am nailing it but i need to feel it first. As a support person you need to wait. Wait for your person to ask for help, wait for your person to need you and wait for your person to feel "better" It is hard to watch as your loved one crumbles but they will feel better. They need you to fall back on and a safe home is the best thing you could ever offer them. You are not alone and you are amazing parents. You got to know it to feel it....

14.01.2022 To work or not to!? I'm watching a show where the mum is a full time, working, single mum. She misses out on the day to day etc etc.... It got me thinking. ... If you work as a mum your criticised for not being there at every school drop off and missing concerts etc. If your a stay at home mum you are criticised for giving up on your career and asked what are you going to do when all the kids are gone?! So you literally can't win. No matter what choice you make you will be criticised. Why do mothers get so much judgement? If a dad works he is hard working and provides for his family. If he stays at home he is a hero. When will this change? Who knows! I think just carry on with what works for you! No matter what, your kids love you. They see their wonderful, beautiful, caring mumma! Screw the judgement....they (society) don't know you they just think they do.

14.01.2022 This morning I read that Tracey from MAFS is moving interstate and leaving her daughter behind in Perth. First of all Id like to say, we dont know this is true. Also we dont know her story. I am coparenting my Son Oliver. We decided from the get go that we would have shared care. So we have equal time with Oli. This works for us but it hasnt come without scrutiny. I have lots of mums in particular say how do you do it and how can you spend so much time away from him ...well my answer is usually (which Im getting bored of saying) Oliver has a great Dad so why would I punish my son by not seeing his father. My ex husband isnt a bad person, we were just not working well together Also why is the mother the one that gets questions like above? A father with shared care is lucky and a mother with shared care is judged. Neither reactions are correct. Both parents decided to have a child, unfortunately their marriage didnt work out so they separated. The child has the right to see each parent equally if they are good, healthy parents. So I felt like I should write something to remind the world that everyone has a story and everyone makes choices that work for them and their children. Tracey may be moving away from her daughter but that may be that the child has chosen to stay in Perth or that she spends more time with her father or any other reason, whatever that reason is Im pretty sure that she has made her choices wisely and it works for her and her daughter. Unless you have been in the same position you really have no right to judge. Behind every door is a story and we dont know those storys from the outside. I wish her all the best and to all the haters

13.01.2022 Today my little mate thought he would help with the washing......hmmm not really helping but hes just too cute! #boringchores

13.01.2022 And then there was 1 Mondays are always a tricky day for us...we either go from having 5 children to 1 or from 1 to 5. Both scenarios has its challenges:... From 5-1 we feel sad, grief, lonely. But we also feel relief which is hard to admit but it is a very intense living space for 4 days with lots of personalities. From 1-5 we feel excited, happy but also anxious for the same reasons as above...chaos begins again! Which one do we prefer? We certainly love having time with our lil Alfie and just have time to be a 3 but the time as a family of 5 is limited as the others are growing up so I think we prefer the chaos. So this week will be quiet but some time to take in every second with the baby boy we made

11.01.2022 Step parents There is an image in society that step parents don't love the child as much as if it was their own. I beg to differ and I'm sure you can see the love here, these two are two of my most favourite humans on earth and the love that man shows my boy is amazing. I suppose I feel a lot of love towards his children so why wouldn't he do the same. We have a full busy house when all our children are here but we certainly try and find time for all of them individually. ... This actually ended with my step daughter and I joining in for a sing and us looking like the picture perfect family. So all in all a lot of love! Believe me it's not always this way but when it is, it makes me remember we are doing something right and we are raising these kids the best we can There is a lot of love in our musical house!

10.01.2022 When you ask your 5 year old to clean his room.... If you can believe it, this is from 2 days of playing. Not sure why when you ask the bouncing, chirpy happy little Chappy to clean his room, without help from me, he literally turns into the most hard done to kid on this planet! I know I'm not alone....just thought I'd make you all laugh on a Sunday night

10.01.2022 Holding hands! This boy holds my hand everywhere we go when I'm close to him. I love it and every time he does it, it reminds me that I am his person. I am his mumma and he loves me so much and when he holds my hand he feels safe. We get so wrapped up in the day to day that we forget that all these little cherubs think about is being safe, loved and fed. I accomplish that every day so I am winning at mumming ... I took this moment in the swimming baths carpark to take this pic and stop, look at him, kiss him and tell him I love him. I am going to try this more often. He then proceeded to scream the whole 30 minute drive home #mumlife #takeinthemoment #screamingmakesmenauseous

09.01.2022 This innocent boy! This is not a post about what I think should happen regarding the recent voting for gay marriage. My opinions are mine and I will not force that upon anyone: But........ Today this boy asked me a question. We were getting ready for school and I had the news on in the background. Something popped up regarding the gay marriage vote. Oli said "what are we saying yes to mummy?" I believe that honesty and the truth is the best with these kind of questions so this was my explanation: "Well Oli, you know Tyson and I got married because we love each other, but if a man loves another man or a woman loves another woman they aren't allowed to get married and it is a bit sad, I think. So we have been sent a piece of paper that we have to send to the government and say if we think that anyone can marry anyone they are in love with" Oli replied "So if they can't get married then they can't have babies and that's so sad" The innocence in that reply is just beautiful.... That's all

07.01.2022 The last two days I have spent in my house.... Feeding, cleaning, eating, watching trash tv...repeat! I felt foggy, tired and low but had no energy to get out. ... So: This morning I got up, dressed and walked to the shops, then did a lap of the park al before 9am. I feel so much better and hope my thoughts will set me free from now on! So this ones for you post natal depression now do one! #notgonnaletitkeepmedown

05.01.2022 The shelves were bare...: So this morning there was a chat about formula being bought in bulk by Chinese people. Apparently the quality is much better than in china so they are sending it back to family members. It doesn't really bother me that they are doing that, I mean the milk companies could Ship it there instead to save us getting into the supermarket to a bare formula shelf....surely that would be a huge money maker for them and we wouldn't have to worry when we go to... do the shopping. The thing I thought was interesting was that the guy in the chat said "I think this is a huge over reaction, I mean parents can just go to the next shop which isn't much of a walk away and grab their preferred formula from there" I don't think that's the point mate and also if you need formula then you have a young child or more than one so just wandering to the next shop may not be an option! Anyway please can you stock a few more on the shelves coles/woolies etc! Happy formula shopping

05.01.2022 This kid! I have been sat here for 20 minutes or so trying to write something inspiring about what this boy has brought into our life. I feel like this picture doesnt really need much. ... We are grateful every day for this boy and I am grateful that we decided to do it all again because it was the best decision we ever made!!

04.01.2022 My Ty is making Thai #saturdaydinner #food #lovefood #mymancancook #hecandoanything #love #feelingloved

03.01.2022 I am now on instagram! Follow me lifeaftermum85 for daily updates of my mum life. Lots of baby pics so please be aware

02.01.2022 Groundhog Day I woke up today to a screaming boy and thought "arrrrgh same shit, different day!" I then took this pic to send to my hubby and for the first time in months I thought "hmm I look quite nice here" ... It's raw and unfiltered. I don't know why we find it so hard to say to ourselves, "I look good today!" If we did I feel we would have happier days. I guarantee I will walk past a mirror today and hate what I see but for now I'm keeping this image in mind and remembering I do have beauty. Even if I only see it a very small percentage of the time. One day I will love myself the way that others do. I am working towards self love. Today I will carry on doing the same shit that I do everyday but maybe now my day will be happier than initially thought! Stay beautiful