Livinglovingdying | Counsellor

Livinglovingdying

Phone: +61 402 143 633

Add/Update information

Reviews

Tags

• Businesses
• Sport & recreation
• Professional service
• Coach
• Counsellor
• Sport & fitness instruction

25.01.2022 Next week The GroundSwell Project are running an online event next Thursday 30th July. The topic is focused on opening conversations around loss and grief with young people. I encourage you to register if you feel that you want to learn more about how to hold these difficult conversations.

24.01.2022 The death of anyone we love is heartbreaking. And I can’t even begin to understand how devastating it would be to loose a child. Then, I came across this article today and my heart melted with tenderness. what a beautiful way to create sacred memories despite the heartache and loss. ... To the families who have to say goodbye too soon I send you big love today

23.01.2022 Have you ever heard the term ‘good life good death’? What does it make you feel/think when I ask you what is your definition of a good life? What does it make you feel/think when I ask you what is your definition of a good death?

23.01.2022 One of the biggest questions I get asked about grief would have to be along the lines of - "Is there something wrong with me? Is this normal to be feeling ___________* ?" *insert emotion of choice here. So how do I respond to this kind of question.... In its simplest definition grief is a natural response to loss. Now, let's take a few things into consideration to explore grief further. 'Loss' can cover a variety of things. For example: * the death of someone we love, * decline or loss of our physical/mental health, * being made redundant (or otherwise losing) a job, * moving away from family or community, * maybe even loss of freedoms during lockdown, * etc, etc, etc. Just with those few examples it's easy to see that we can experience loss in a myriad of ways. So what would we consider to be a 'natural response' to those losses? There's not one straight answer here. I mean, what is natural to me might not be natural to you. It depends on many factors, including personality and coping style, your life experience, and how significant the loss was to you. In the early stages grief might include: * feelings of sadness, * feeling like you're going crazy, * feeling numb, * crying a lot or feel emotionally unstable, * disbelief (like how is this even true), * you may feel angry and resentful, * you may have no appetite for food, * insomnia, or alternatively you could feel exhausted. Ultimately, there is not right or wrong way to grieve. The way we grieve is as individual as the ways we live our lives. Just remember that almost anything that you experience will sit somewhere in the boundaries of 'normal'. However, if your grief feels like too much to bear, or you feel like you are overwhelmed with emotion and are having trouble getting through the days, please seek help from a mental health professional or grief coach/counsellor. #griefandloss #griefsupport #grieving #griefcoaching

23.01.2022 Acknowledging loss is so important if we are to experience healthy grief and healing. So great that our states can offer commemorative certificates to support that. Below is a list of other states and territories also offering these important keepsakes.... NSW: www.nsw.gov.au//miscarriage-stillbirth-and-loss-of-a-newbo VIC: www.bdm.vic.gov.au//early-pregnancy-loss-commemorative-cer WA: www.wa.gov.au/service/justice/civil-law/register-birth SA: www.sa.gov.au//certif/early-loss-of-pregnancy-certificates TAS: https://www.justice.tas.gov.au//early-pregnancy-loss-recog NT: https://nt.gov.au//apply-for-birth-death-or-marriage-certi QLD: https://www.qld.gov.au//early-pregnancy-loss-recognition-c

22.01.2022 Heartbreaking... This was the very word that came up in conversation yesterday. Working with a family who are preparing for their brother’s death. They know that grief will be a constant companion for a while and that the heartbreak of the final goodbye is inevitable. I honour their willingness to face the difficulties ahead with as much love as they can muster. ... And this morning, I see this post from David Whyte and love how he writes about the topic, so felt to share it with you.

22.01.2022 Grieving is difficult. And it’s not just about dealing with our sadness, it’s about finding a whole new way of being with the world. We seem to put so much pressure on ourselves to get through our grief quickly so we can ‘get back to normal’. But it doesn’t happen that way. We have to work our way into a new normal and that takes time. I wholeheartedly agree with Edith Eger, that what you do with that time makes a difference to our healing. ... When grief is difficult to move through, you can: * Seek support with a grief coach or counselor, * Invest in a good book on grief to help with your understanding of what’s happening and how you can support yourself (suggestions in comments), * Join a grief group. Sometimes it helps when you feel less alone in your experiences. Healing is an ongoing process and yes, it does take time.

22.01.2022 What is your relationship with death? I'm pretty sure that is not the most common question you get asked, but I would love you to give it some thought. Because here's the thing - we each form opinions, ideas, beliefs, fears or experiences about death (what I call our 'relationship' with death). So what IS your relationship with death?... Depending on our upbringing and how open, or not, the topic is handled within our family and friendship circles we develop our own way of relating to death. We might: * Consider the topic taboo so we don't talk about it. * Get anxious thinking about dying and become afraid of death. * Develop questions about what happens to our body, and our soul/consciousness after death. * Think death is just morbid and sad. * Be taught about reincarnation, heaven/hell, nothingness.... * Etc, etc, etc. And for many of us, we associate death with something that happens when we grow old. So until we get 'old' we quite naturally, just go about creating and enjoying our lives to the best of our ability and we don't really think too much about it. Until a death impacts us in a personal and direct way. Often it's these moments, these brushes with mortality that have us looking at the world with new eyes. The death of someone close to us and/or significant to us has the ability to give us a new appreciation of life and in turn, open us up to re-evaluate our relationship with death and re-thinking how we handle it. And honestly, even if you don't want to do a big spiritual deep dive into the meaning of life and death... have a think about the practical and pragmatic things that you need to manage when you are dealing with the pending (or sudden) death of someone you love. Do you know who they have nominated as their substitute decision makers for medical issues? Do you know what their values and preferences are around care towards the end of their life? Would they want to be surrounded by loved ones in their final days, or not? Do they want to be an organ donor? What are their funeral, or memorial, wishes? Etc, etc, etc... *** Over the next few weeks I will be sharing with you some essential "things to know before you go". Please post your questions in the comments and I'll make sure they get answered in my posts and videos. I'd love you to join me. Stay tuned for more info.

21.01.2022 Do you ever worry that you’ll get stuck in the sadness of grief? Have you ever judged yourself because you just want the grief to be over? Would you like some strategies to support yourself through your grief journey? Today’s video might help.

21.01.2022 It's THAT time of year when family and friends are getting all festive and happy about Christmas and holidays, etc, etc. But for some it's a reminder that someone special is missing from their world and this Christmas will be tinged with grief and sadness. If this is your first Christmas after the death of a beloved... Firstly, let me send you a big cyber hug .. And perhaps these ideas and tips might help make the holiday season a little easier.... ** First up, acknowledge that Christmas and the holidays will be different this year. Remember that everyone grieves in their own way and that's ok. As a family you can decide which traditions you want to keep, which traditions you want to change or maybe even create a new tradition in memory of your loved one. ** Give yourself permission not to do the things that you’re finding hard to do. It's ok to skip Christmas parties or to decide not to write Christmas cards this year. And to the best of your ability, don't feel guilty about skipping Christmas festivities if they feel too overwhelming. It's about self care and doing whatever it is that helps you feel less stresses and able to cope. ** Allow yourself to grieve - the days leading up to Christmas can heighten your grief. Seeing other families together, being oh-so-happy, just hurts. Try not to bottle up your feelings and give yourself permission to cry and acknowledge to others that it's hard to be without your special someone. You might even want to reach out to a friend or counsellor and let them know that you would appreciate their listening ear for support. ** Make a point of remembering your loved one in a special way - light a candle for them on Christmas Day, place a special ornament on the Christmas tree to symbolise them, leave an empty seat at the table in memory of them, or if that feels too depressing perhaps you could put out a photo table and fill it with photos and precious memories of your loved one. ** Say yes to help. There will be people who want to offer support - cook some of the food, do the decorating, or even hold an event at their house. It's a great opportunity to take some pressure off yourself and welcome their love and support. And if people aren't offering to help, then just ask. Even if asking feels awkward and unusual and you are used to doing everything yourself, asking others to help with shopping or cooking can be a big relief. ** Ignore people who want to tell you what you 'should' do for the holiday. Listen to yourself, trust yourself, communicate with your family and do what works for you. ** Allow yourself to have some fun. Even though it will be tough there will be moments of happiness, joy and love. Give yourself permission to enjoy some of that too. Take care of you. And big hugs from me.

20.01.2022 Your grief is valid. Even when it's messy. Regardless of whether you are grieving the biggest loss of your life or a small disappointment, your grief is valid. I've come to understand that most people want to move through their grief quickly. That's pretty natural really when you consider that grief is intense and painful and bloody uncomfortable. ... And I know it's not always easy to allow your feelings to be fully expressed. Particularly when they are so painful. But our healing is also dependent upon us being able to acknowledge our feelings and hold them with respect. To allow those feelings to move through us as we learn to dance with our grief. So I feel that we run the risk of doing ourselves a dis-service when we move too quickly to diminish our grief or find the 'bright side' of life. It's like trying to walk with a broken leg before the bones have even been set right and placed in a cast. Sure, you might be able to limp through the day but it hurts and it takes longer to heal properly when you try and rush the process. Grief is grief. And whatever the loss you are experiencing your grief is valid.

18.01.2022 Just as there are many ways to approach life... there’s also many ways to approach death. Here is a family that faced the journey of departure in their own unique way.

17.01.2022 Yes, I’m one of those bookworm type people who gets excited when the postman delivers a book pack. Adding to that excitement is when the book is about my favourite and most passionate topic. @drkathrynmannix Thanks for your beautiful work and for keeping it ‘real’. ... #death #dying #endoflife #compassionateliving #preparingfordeath

16.01.2022 I’m curious... do you celebrate/pay respects for your deceased loved ones ‘would be’ birthdays? I’m torn about it. #conundrum Yes, on one hand, I want to remember them and cherish all the memories of past celebrations. Yet on the other hand, I realise that I’m not really celebrating a birthday cause they’re not here enjoying another revolution around the sun. #norightorwrong #everyoneseesthingsdifferently ... Today would have been my Mum’s 86th birthday. (If she were here to celebrate). Perhaps tonight I’ll have a nice glass of red for her. I think she would have liked that. How do you handle a ‘would be’ birthday??

16.01.2022 I often talk about dying, death, how we approach it, how we prepare for it... all the things around mortality. But I’m also interested in life. How we approach it, how we find meaning and joy in it.... because, as Buddha says Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived well.

16.01.2022 Today I had the loveliest morning tea. I was invited to one of the local Retirement Villages to speak with a few residents about grief. As a small but tight knit community they have been saddened by a number of deaths within the village in a short period of time. They wanted to talk about it. To share their thoughts and their feelings. To create a space where they could explore their fears and concerns about their own mortality.... So we talked. They asked questions. They shared stories, laughed, cried and reflected. Without them even labelling it they created a sacred place to express their grief and be witnessed in how tough it has been to loose some dear friends. I'm so grateful to have been part of the morning and to have had the privilege of being able to facilitate some meaningful conversations. It was a beautiful display of friendship and the power of connection. What about you? Have you ever attended a grief group or something similar? How was it? And if not, do you feel that a safe space to talk would be helpful? I'd love to hear your thoughts. xx #deathtalk #grieftalk #livingwithgrief #supportingcommunity

14.01.2022 Dr Kathryn Mannix is a Palliative Care Physician passionate to get us all better acquainted with the idea of dying well. In this wonderful little four minute video she shares, in her humble opinion, why she thinks dying might not be as bad as you think and why being aware of the physical process that occurs might help us to be more comfortable and confident around death.

14.01.2022 I want to give a big shout out to the beautiful compassionate team at Heartfelt Funerals It warms my heart to meet people who create a truly personalized funeral for families to farewell their loved ones. I highly recommend Maree and her team to care for your dearly departed. There is no cookie cutter approach here... each funeral is as individual as the person they care for because they truly have a desire to help people say goodbye with meaning.

14.01.2022 Happy Halloween Do you have traditions at this time of year? Sure, I live in Australia and it's not as big a deal down here because Halloween is more of a Northern Hemisphere holiday celebrated each year on October 31st. (Here in the Southern hemisphere Samhain occurs in May - cause, you know, the seasons are upside down) The tradition originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, to welcome in the harvest and usher in the dark half of the year. Celebrants be...lieve that the barriers between the physical world and the spirit world break down during Samhain, allowing more interaction between humans and denizens of the Otherworld. So this is why people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off ghosts. And before you know it... Halloween evolved into a day of activities like trick-or-treating, carving jack-o-lanterns, festive gatherings, donning costumes and eating treats. Personally, I like to create my own traditions. I reflect upon the veil between the living and the dead and light a candle in remembrance of all my loved ones who have left the physical realm. I use Halloween as a sacred day to remember how much I loved each and everyone of them, and send them a blessing of thanks for sharing in my life.

12.01.2022 Caring for someone who is living with dementia can be a challenge. And I feel that the best way we can support them is to try and see the world through their eyes, or just visit their reality and see what’s happening in there..

11.01.2022 Awesome resources.... Thanks to QLD Health's Care at End of Life Project who developed a whole bunch of bereavement resources. If you want to know more about: * How to prepare for death when someone close to you is at the end of life, ... * What is advance care planning, * When should you prepare a Will, * How to arrange a heartfelt funeral. Please leave a comment below and we could have a chat. #nevertooearlytoprepare #lifeanddeath #endoflifecare #endoflifedoula

11.01.2022 Grief is more than just being sad.

09.01.2022 I have a special request today. On behalf of Neil (even though we don’t necessarily know him) who’s obituary notice is below. Take the time to tell two people whom you know, that you love them and tell them the reasons why. Many thanks to @theydidntdie for sharing this. ... Many thanks to Neil for reminding us to share the love. See more

09.01.2022 Despite the fact that mortality will impact 100% of us there is a reluctance among many people to think about, talk about and plan for our death. I understand that it's sometimes an awkward and uncomfortable topic but still, if we don't take steps towards learning how to open up these conversations then nothing will change.... What do we fear around death? Are we worried, not so much about death, but how we get there? Do I want to be buried or cremated when the time comes...? How would I like to be remembered? How will we decide on these answers if we don't step into our discomfort and explore the issues involved? WELL, let me tell you that there is a FREE online course, open to anyone in Australia. Dying2Learn is designed to "help you to become more comfortable talking about death and dying, understand what shapes our views and attitudes, and be confident when addressing issues that will affect us all at the end-of-life." It's a brilliant course. I've done it myself. It really is a great resource if you want to get better at having these tough conversations around death... cause guess what, we all have to deal with that sooner or later. Dying2Learn is an online course that will run from 5th October to 2nd November. https://www.caresearch.com.au/CareSearch//2868/Default.aspx

07.01.2022 Have you heard of Advance Care Planning? In simple terms it is the process of planning for your future health care. Advance Care Planning Australia are running some free events over the coming weeks - 23rd, 24th, and 25th of March.... I highly recommend you have a look at the link below and book into one of the sessions. Advance care planning gives you the opportunity to think about, discuss and record your preferences for the type of care you would receive and the outcomes you would consider acceptable. It's one of the best things you can do (for yourself and your loved ones) to ensure that your family, carers and doctors know what your health and personal preferences are and that these preferences are respected.

07.01.2022 I’m hearing the Covid message of Mask it, or Casket. So perhaps that might be a tad harsh. I’m not normally into fear mongering as a means of getting a message across... so I guess I’d just rather say Stay safe people. ... Do your bit to keep yourself, your loved ones and your community safe. Wear a mask (as appropriate and probably not inside a bank yeah?) Wash your hands. (It’s called ‘practicing good hygiene’). Remember to do the social distancing thing. Call your doctor if you have symptoms. Don’t be complacent.. or an arsehat. Ps: Snapchat filter purely to make me look a little bad ass (and to get your attention).

07.01.2022 Time and time again when I work with grieving people they tell me they feel broken and they want to know if I can 'fix' them. And my response every time is a version of this: Grief is not something that needs fixing, grief is something to be felt and witnessed and held gently... ... Megan Devine, author of It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand, puts it like this: The reality of grief is far different from what others see from the outside. There is pain in this world that you can't be cheered out of. You don't need solutions. You don't need to move on from your grief. You need someone to see your grief, to acknowledge it. You need someone to hold your hands while you stand there in blinking horror, staring at the hole that was your life. Some things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.

06.01.2022 I feel that I need to apologise. Or even if I don’t need to, I want to explain my absence. You probably noticed I’ve been very quiet on the socials of late. I hope you haven’t missed me too much. I have missed you, my beautiful tribe. ... It’s been a deliberate choice on my part. A deliberate withdrawal from the mainstream ‘world’. You see, as best I can explain it, the world got too loud and overwhelming for me. First it was the fires in Australia, then Covid, then BLM... and lockdowns and heightened fears and anxiety... and people just behaving like total arsehats and etc, and etc, and other stuff. I was feeling a little traumatised. So I chose to retreat to my inner world (both literally and figuratively). I mean sure, lockdown made me stay home and stay local but also I withdrew my attention and energy from the outer world. Sadly, I withdrew even from you. I turned off the news and TV. I ignored social media streams. I took self-care to a whole level - I ate well, exercised when appropriate, I meditated, read books, slept. I journaled. I got honest with myself about how I was coping/not coping. I got support and stopped trying to control all the things. It felt like a form of hibernation. The outside world was this strange land, undergoing its own evolution... and I was inside my little cave of sanctuary (a blanket fort is a cave, right? ) undergoing my own metamorphosis. I’ve had to learn to hold space for it all. To be with my vulnerability and feeling of being broken and lost.. but also my deep sense of connection and calmness within... and the power in feeling all of it (sometimes all at the same time). I gave myself permission to take all the time and space I needed. I promised myself I could stay in my cave of sanctuary (aka the blanket fort) for as long as I liked. And honestly, it’s the best gift that I could have given myself. But I feel that now it’s time. Time to stretch my hibernated being back out into the world. Time to face the sunlight and go exploring. I’ve missed you. I’m even a little excited to see how things have changed, or not. Thanks for waiting for me.

05.01.2022 This is not only my work, but my heart filled life.

05.01.2022 Everybody experiences grief. #thetruth Grief isn’t limited to a handful of people. It’s not restricted to times when someone we love dies. Grief is a natural response to loss. ... And from my perspective, we need to find a way to hold space for that. In order to heal our grief we first need to recognise it, acknowledge it, feel it and honour it. Many thanks to the beautiful Lisa Potter - End of Life Guide & Celebrant - Gold Coast for her insights and words of wisdom. Xx

04.01.2022 ** That one time I did a TEDx 60 second pitch ** Statistics tell us that, despite our efforts, the human mortality rate stands at 100% # Yes, we are all going to die.... In the cycle of life, we love to talk about birth and we constantly discuss how to live a great life, but we politely ignore the death part. Until it is forced upon us. I find people are ok to talk about the concept of death. But, when it comes to talking about their own mortality (and the impact on those they love), it’s suddenly very quiet. Honestly? I think it’s a bit selfish if we leave behind a logistical mess for our loved ones. Especially when they are trying to grieve our death. So how can we show a little courage and change the way we approach the end of life? How do we get prepared and ease the burden on our family and loved ones? We can be pragmatic. Buy a RED folder label it as End of Life plan and start filling it with instructions. A good first step, at any age, start making notes about what a 'good death' means to you. Research, and understand, the paperwork - what is an Advance Care Directive? When do you need a Power of Attorney? What information is needed to complete a Will? Get that paperwork done. AND don’t be afraid to tell people you are getting prepared. Because yes, #wereallgonnadie

04.01.2022 Having a tough day? Sometimes that happens right? Let me share some thoughts (beautifully articulated by Nicole Kingston) and perhaps her words might just help a little. xx

03.01.2022 Do you find yourself ruminating over the ‘woulda / coulda / shoulda’ of past events? Then find yourself deeper in struggle with grief because your mind is stuck in those events? Let me share a great podcast about Grief Hindsight. It’s a great discussion about how grief tilts our thinking and how we can help ourselves to find a different (and often more kind on ourselves) perspective.

03.01.2022 Are you interested in learning more about grief, caring for our dying loved ones, death in general? I just stumbled upon this gem of a podcast. Beautiful heartfelt conversations with a few laughs along the way. ... Do yourself a favor and tune in.

03.01.2022 I often get asked for recommendations on books, websites and other resources around the topic of death, dying, palliative care, grief, and more. Today I’m gonna to talk to you about one of my favourite books and how it helped me be a better carer for my dying loved ones. Edit: sorry for the ‘backwards book’ fail. clearly new at the show-and-tell game. Book photo in comments

03.01.2022 How deep are your pockets? If you are able to donate and support this beautiful initiative it would be greatly appreciated. The Willow Tree Foundation is aiming to ensure all families experiencing the death of a child have access to end-of-life and funeral planning, specialised after death care, beautiful and meaningful funeral ceremonies, and ongoing support in early bereavement and beyond. ... They are also committed to building death literacy in our community and support for professionals working in this space. All support is truly appreciated, even a couple of $ will help and all donations are fully tax deductible.

02.01.2022 I LOVE this and 100% agree with this approach to supporting someone who is grieving. Somedays, when you are knee deep in grief, you just want someone else to take charge of your life until you can wake up from the bad dream you feel like you’re in. Sometimes, when you are grieving, it’s really hard to think straight or know what you need/want help with. So it’s really nice when someone suggests ways they can help. ... What are some of the best ways people have supported you in your grief?

02.01.2022 I got to meet the lovely Danielle Robertson from DR Care Solutions last week. We got to talk about me... which is kinda fun but also I got to hear about the work of DR Care Solutions. Seriously warms my heart to hear how families can be SO supported when making tough decisions about care needs and wants. This is an amazing service. Danielle has been in this industry for over 30 years and her goal is to assist every Australian to find the right care solution that meets their... needs, wants and wishes in the quickest possible time. Below is a link to her blog about our chat... after you've had a read do yourself a favour and have a look at Danielle's work. You, or someone you know, might just have found the support you need. The services are nation wide and support with providing Tailored Care Solutions for you, as a care recipient, a carer or a guardian, in the areas of aged care and disability care.

02.01.2022 When it comes to caring for our ageing and/or dying loved ones, our #selfcare is an important element that helps sustain us along the journey. So I would love to know from you - What small habit, routine, change or action have you implemented (either recently or in the past) that impacted your life for the better?... Please leave your comments below and tell me what helps you look after YOU?

02.01.2022 Hi, I’m Nycole. I’m a Grief Coach, Counsellor, End of Life Doula and founder of Living Loving Dying. I’m all about helping you move through the chaos to find calm within yourself, so you can respond to life and death, rather than react to it. ... I combine grief coaching with the practical end of life support. The result? Supporting people to journey through life is a way that aligns to their individual idea of a 'well-lived life' and a respectful approach to death. Why don't you grab a cuppa, get comfortable and let me explain