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Little Levi

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24.01.2022 Don't tell me I'm a great Mum after I spend ten minutes holding on to my son's legs so tightly as he tries to fight his way out of having another cannula attemp...t. Don't tell me I've done a great job as I lay with my son who is beside himself, sobbing in tears after yet another procedure. Don't tell me I know so much about the process of being in hospital; the waiting to be seen, to get a bed on the ward, the medications, where the buzzer is if we need anything, or how to silence the beeping machines. Don't tell me anymore about what to expect post surgery, that it could be a little bleeding or a lot, that he might wake from the anesthetic a little rough. Don't tell me goodluck with everything as we leave, knowing very well we will be back. Tell me when he will no longer scream at me that he hates me. Tell me when he will stop yelling at me through streaming tears that I'm the worst Mum ever. Tell me when I no longer having to wrestle my son to have another bloody cannula inserted. Tell me when I don't have to explain to him that he needs to have another procedure done on his tiny body. Tell me when his night terrors will stop, that he will no longer yell out "NO! STOP!" in his sleep and wake up in tears, being inconsolable. Tell me when we don't have to waste another cent on parking at a hospital because he needs to see a doctor. Tell me when we can stop living this nightmare; Levi's nightmare. Tell me when people will stop judging us for when we have to cancel plans last minute because he is back in hospital or just not feeling well. Tell me when we don't have to come to hospital anymore. Tell me when we don't have to worry about his kidney rejecting and starting this journey over. Tell me when the medications don't have any side effects that could lead to bigger and scarier scenarios. Tell me when Levi can have his childhood back, without the needles, the surgeries, the night terrors, the medications, the waiting. Tell Levi how incredible HE is, as if I struggle to sit here as his Mum watching all of this take place and feel helpless, I can't imagine what he must be feeling.

18.01.2022 It's been quite the month for us

17.01.2022 Three years already!!