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Metamorphosis Connected

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24.01.2022 I was 23 when I chose my graduate diploma in counselling. Until then I had decided to study psychology and then again with my engineering. I analysed every possible career, and fell onto engineering because psychology was too hard. Everyone around me did engineering, so why not me? But I felt unfulfilled. My dream had always been to help others as they had helped me throughout my times of extreme struggle. I had then completed the Landmark Forum and it was here I discovered, ...the act of deciding my study was out of my fear that I couldn't make an impact in the world. I had decided that engineering was the easier route because becoming a therapist was confronting. When I did the Forum, I felt the crippling weight of that fear crush my shoulders. I was panicked. Suddenly, my engineering degree was not enough. I chose to enrol without thinking into ACAP and started studying my diploma in counselling. So, from here. I was studying 3 days a week, doing two sets of study, working 60 hours and still maintained a social life. I was busy, but everything fell into place. It was easy. Even with my fear crippling me, I became someone who was determined to help others through therapy. I chose to be a therapist. Now, working as a therapist, it has been the most rewarding experience ever. My life is lit up. My fear is also there, but in the midst of every possible reason, analysing the situation, and even seeing the pay offs, choosing to be a therapist is my life calling. It's not about decisions. It's about powerful choices. #metamorphosis #mentalhealth #transformation #choices

18.01.2022 One of the biggest habits I had was during an argument, I would overpower the conversation by forcing a resolution. This occurred in intimate relationships. And when resolution did not occur, I would become angry, upset and overwhelmed, often blaming myself and making myself wrong for not resolving it. I took it upon myself that it was my sole responsibility to resolve the argument. Many arguments would occur this way and I found my emotional tanks empty as I would focus only... on resolution and took no self care or soothe for myself. I became so focused on resolution that I never stopped to acknowledge the impacts on me. I tried to change this habit - forced myself to get rid of it, denied it and shoved it. Doing this caused a great amount of resentment, anger and frustration to myself and whoever I argued with. Recently, I went into the discovery of why I was this way in arguments. Doing some inner and shadow work, I had discovered that when I was a child, I would often quickly find resolutions for those who needed it in order to bring peace and calm. The arguments would sometimes be so aggressive and destructive that I made it my mission to ensure everything would be smooth sailing afterwards, often giving up and ignoring my own inner child needs. This habit grew into teenagehood and adulthood and arguments became a need for solutions, to fix something rather than being a space for two people to have a chance to share vulnerably, transform and grow. Looking at this habit as only a wound inflicted in childhood, I shared my experiences with those around me and allowed this habit to exist in love, generosity and compassion. I'm in the process of forgiving, healing and accepting this wound. This shadow work gives me the space to heal, grow and transform this habit. Transforming it gives me the chance to choose how I want to respond to arguments rather than reacting to them. And to have both people resolve it together powerfully. The goal is not to change. It is to transform. #metamorphosis #connection #mentalhealth #transformation

13.01.2022 What's a decision? The act of or need for one making up their mind. What's a choice? The right, the power, the opportunity to choose. Why make decisions choices and not choices? Decisions come from a heavy place. We go through a process of analysis, we balance the options and think of the cut offs also trying to think about outter influences. We weigh so many options, go back and forth and sometimes become overwhelmed with deciding something. ... With choices, it's more of stepping into who you are, who you already are. Making choices, comes from the values, possibilities and dreams you have and it's about what you want to create in the moment now and in your future. Think of it like chocolate and vanilla ice cream as a child. When asked "chocolate or vanilla?", you don't think, just pick. You have a great time, and it's delicious and you're carefree. But as you get older, you begin weighing the options, "is it fat free, what kind of chocolate, what kind of cream?", and suddenly ice cream becomes a long, analytical, "I think this is good for me" option. You enjoy it, but not as simply as when you did as a child. So how long are you going to spend analysing before you make a decision? Who do you become once a decision is made? Does it still excite you? Making a choice comes from a place of being. Creating who you are, who you are being and then simply making a choice. So chocolate or vanilla? #metamorphosis #transformation #mentalhealth #choices #innerwork

11.01.2022 Vulnerability is the core of all emotions. To feel is to be vulnerable. To see vulnerability as a weakness is to see feeling emotions as a weakness. Rejecting vulnerability seems to stem from associating vulnerability with "dark" emotions such as guilt, doubt, shame and fear. These "dark" emotions are not discussed openly and as such we suppress them away, waiting for them to spill out like a shaken champagne bottle unexpectedly. In order to create and sustain meaningful rela...tionships with freedom and full self expression, it is important to accept vulnerability as the birthplace of love and belonging. Owning and accepting our emotions, without making them wrong is the first step towards empowered vulnerability. There is no such thing as "dark" emotions. Emotions are emotions. They do not walk around telling us what they are. They are what they are. It is we who make them significant and separate them into classes. But alas, we are human. And it is beautiful to be human. It's what we do in response to our emotions, rather than reacting out of them that's important. Using emotions as a way to discover what we want, what's not working and whether our values are being heard is a powerful technique to love your emotions. The more we learn to accept them and allow them to be, the more we will be grounded and centred. Vulnerability is scary. It's dangerous, it's a risk. But what a dull life to not live life to the fullest, being human? #benebrown #transformation #metamorphosis #mentalhealth #vulnerability

01.01.2022 We often try to change habits or traits about ourselves that no longer serve us. For example, a habit of using silence in an argument to win just does not work anymore if we are willing and committed to building stronger relationships with the people around us. So we enter our self-help books and psychoeducation to discover how we can change a habit in order to better ourselves. However, forcing a change in a habit that may have served you for a very long time can create frus...tration, anger and resentment in the long run with ourselves and others. What we do not realise however, is why and how this habit has appeared in your life. For example, when you were maybe 5 years old, in an argument with a parent, the only way you found you could defend yourself was to use silence. Being silent in an argument protected you from the emotions you at 5 years old could not handle. However, this habit then grew into teenagehood and now into adulthood where whenever there was an argument with a loved one and you were confronted, you found yourself stonewalling them, leaving the conversation or even avoiding arguments altogether. The point is not to change the habit. It is important to discover how and why this habit shows up in your life and in what areas this habit is strongest. This inner work will allow the space for the habit to exist without judgment. Once this discovery is made, accepting and forgiving yourself for having this habit is crucial in the journey of inner work. You will find yourself more accepting of you and your habits, and over time each habit will be transformed into something that works for you in the present and your commitment. The goal is not to change. It is to transform. #metamorphosis #transformation #therapy #innerwork #mentalhealth