Milky Business- Kate Visser IBCLC | Health/beauty

Milky Business- Kate Visser IBCLC

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25.01.2022 I’ll never forget my first Mother’s Day. I had a 9 month old little girl. We’d had the best part of the year with her and her pregnancy and life to date had been pretty blood spectacular. Hard? Yep. Wild ride? Definitely? But spectacular? Absolutely! I’d always wanted our babies close together and was absolutely thrilled to have fallen pregnant at that point. It was a few days before Mother’s Day and I had a drop of blood on my undies. The midwife in me knows that while blee...ding in pregnancy is common, it’s not normal, but that many women bleed and go into carry health babies. I didn’t trust this and truly knew this was the beginning of the end. A couple of days later my miscarriage really began. On the 9th May I met and farewelled our second, very longer for child. So I spent my first Mother’s Day in heartache. To make it even harder, I saw multiple pregnancy announcements on that day and not one part of me could be happy for them because I was so deep in grief. While that was one of the hardest days I’ll ever go through, it has given me a profound appreciation of the walks other mothers find themselves on. So here’s to all the mamas, but an extra hug to those outside of the mold, winging their way through it and crying their way through it. I see you, I hear you, I feel you

23.01.2022 Sometimes we focus so much on the negative. Breastfeeding may be one of the hardest thing you ever do but it may also be one of thee most rewarding as well. What is your favourite thing about breastfeeding? Share to encourage other mamas

21.01.2022 Women deserve better, at all stages of their journey, but especially as they go through these penultimate moments in life. Thanks to @themidwivescauldron and @janehardwickecollings for the inspo

21.01.2022 I am so passionate about removing the obstacles that are often put in place for breastfeeding mums. They aren’t always big but it adds another step where confusion and a sense of failure can occur. Let it be known that your breastmilk is not an inferior molecular substance compared to formula (which everyone says is fine to shake). Your breastmilk is not a timid liquid that needs to be handled with care. Sure, try not to waste it, but shake it? Go for it mama.

21.01.2022 It’s common to assume that if you leave your baby with another caregiver, that you need to leave them with bags and bottles full of milk, even for only a few hours. In a society where we see a decline in mamas breastfeeding and an increase in babies being formula fed as time goes on, it can be both deceptive and disheartening when you see big bottles full of milk given to babies but you can’t seem to express much yourself. This is when the idea of scheduled vs demand feeds a...nd formula vs breastfeeding creates grey areas. Formula fed babies tend to drink more, less often and in a more structured way to avoid over feeding. On the other hand, breastfed babies tend to drink smaller volumes more frequently, and on demand. This calculation is a simple way to figure out roughly how much (or how little) milk your baby will normally take at each feed. Most mamas are surprised and it’s much less than they think. Plus, some babies, particularly as they get older, might not take expressed milk and prefer to wait for mama to come back home.

19.01.2022 Navigating the path of diagnosis and treatment of a tongue tie is far more difficult than it should be. A tongue tie is present when there is an abnormal restriction of the lingual frenulum under the tongue. Having a frenulum or tissue under the tongue is normal, a restriction is not. I hear statements from women all the time about who or who didn’t diagnose a tongue tie and the lack of explanation, investigation or even treatment offered. It leaves women bewildered and beyon...d confused. However, I want you to know that what your babies tongue looks like tells us almost nothing. We need to know HOW it works, HOW it’s functioning. If a tongue is functioning as it should, is able to extend, lift, move side to side, cup your breast etc, and someone says they can see a tongue tie, then they have probably diagnosed your baby with a normal lingual frenulum However, if your baby is having issues with their tongue extending, lifting, moving side to side, cupping your breast etc then there is a higher chance they have a tongue tie, because tongue ties affect the FUNCTION of a tongue. If someone looks at your babies mouth and says it’s a mild tongue tie but you are still experiencing significant nipple pain, mastitis, weight gain issues for bub etc then there is nothing mild about it. It’s either there or it’s not, it’s either having an impact or it’s not. If you or your baby are experiencing symptoms, then something isn’t functioning as it should. So if someone says they can’t see a tongue tie, then seek another opinion. A provider who is confident in assessing tongue ties will never just briefly look. Follow your intuition. You should be supported to full investigate any issues or concerns you have. Bandaid treatments are unsupportive and unsustainable and can be the cause for early weaning.

19.01.2022 A thousand times yes!

19.01.2022 Sometimes in the process of birth and early parenthood, partners can take a back seat. It can be hard for them to find their way in their new role. New mamas need a lot, and what they need changes constantly. Partners are great problem solvers and sometimes try find a solution to everything. This isn’t always what a mama needs. Sometimes she simply needs to feel heard, seen and validated. It might sound simple, but one way partners can be enormously helpful and emotionally present is by asking Do you need a solution or do you simply need me to listen? Tag a partner or new parent who needs to hear this

19.01.2022 We birth humans, with their own unique set of biological needs, likes and dislikes, not machines.

18.01.2022 It blows my mind how not-so-cultural postpartum support is. Particularly, the day to day, informal giving of meals. Why is it so common that we give baby clothes and toys but not meals? We give the more expensive, equally as time consuming and less needed option. A simple meal allows a family to let go of the mental load of What will we have for dinner?, whilst giving them time to do as they wish, ideally resting, feeding bub, showering or caring for other children. No toy ...can do that. Sometimes it’s not in our budget to provide formal postpartum support, but that doesn’t mean we can’t provide any postpartum support. My trick- double cook a meal. You’re cooking anyway for your own family. It will take marginally more time to do it and won’t cost as much as you’d spend on a present, but, it will mean the world to the family who receives it. Bonus points if it can be frozen, you include any extras they may need to go with it and there’s no more preparation included. This is the only time I buy microwaveable pre-cooked rice bags They are a great invention. Just as you wouldn’t ask a new family if they need a present, don’t ask them if they’d like a meal. Ask if they have any dietary restrictions and when is a good day/time to drop it off Remember, the postpartum period doesn’t last for an arbitrary number of weeks. Postpartum is for forever. Don’t forget about families when partners return to work and time ticks on. Families will still be appreciative of your support 4 weeks, 4 months, even 4 years down the track. Did anyone cook for you after you had your baby? I’m so thankful for every meal we received!

17.01.2022 Anyone that is truly honest with you will say breastfeeding isn’t roses and rainbows. It certainly can be in moments and seasons, but that’s not always the case. I don’t always enjoy exercise, looking after my family or doing the ‘right thing’ in life. I do it for multiple reasons but some days I’m just not feeling it. Does that make me bad? No, it makes me human. Breastfeeding is no different. The vast majority of women go through some kind of breastfeeding challenge, great ...or small. In those moments it’s easy to wonder if breastfeeding was a good idea, if it’s really worth it, if you should be feeling grateful or as though you’re a bad mum for not. I just want to encourage you and remind you that your journey is your own, and there is support from people like myself to help you reach your goals, regardless of what they are. However, not loving every moment is normal. It’s healthy even- you are in sync with your emotions and being honest with yourself. Mama you are not alone. See more

17.01.2022 Did you have a mantra that you repeated over and over again during breastfeeding or those long, earth days of motherhood? I know I repeated They are only little for a little while or She’ll never need you as much as she does right now more than the clock ticked. These mantras hold so much glorious power. They allow you to centre and calm yourself, to see this as a moment in the bigger picture, to gather strength to see the sun rise and set as you and your baby learn more... about each other. This is why I created Milky Mantras. A gorgeous set of 20 double sided, linen cards filled with encouraging, grounding and reaffirming affirmations that embody the beauty and challenges of early motherhood and breastfeeding. Want to encourage a pregnant or new mum? Not sure what to say, or what gift to buy? These say everything she needs to hear. That she is worthy, strong and capable. That this is temporary, tough and a messy joy. That she can do this. Head to the link in our bio to purchase today. Christmas is so soon and will sit pretty in her stocking if you order now! 1: one of my many favourite affirmations from the set 2: Milk Mantra cards

15.01.2022 Are you a breast-sleeper? I’m all for whatever works for you and your family. Night feeds (and frequent ones at that) are biologically normal for years (not just months). We cannot separate breastfeeding and sleep. They are tightly intertwined notions. While bed sharing and breast-sleeping doesn’t work for every family, it can be a great way to have a settled, well fed bub and a more rested mama.

14.01.2022 She was hurt at the park today. Straight away needed her mama and asked for a boo. I haven’t fed her in public for a long time, probably a year. She’s nearing 2.5 but she’s tall and chunky, often mistaken for being 3 if not 4. We sat and with some hesitation (from me), she fed. And I’ll be damned if not a second went by without me considering what people thought. I’ve always fed in public when my babies have needed it, but I don’t enjoy it and I struggle to relax. So, I loo...ked her in the eyes the entire time and stroked her hair. I wish it didn’t have to be like this. Motherhood is full of contradictions. I find that all to often mums are asked So are you breastfeeding? In the early days, then once it’s going well the question becomes So when will you wean?. We are so inadvertently focussed on milestones that separate mother from child, as if they’ll be more independent because of it, when in actual fact this short term, but intense dependence promotes long term independence. I am a huge fan of @thejennytamas and @thelittlemilkbar_ for their work in normalising breastfeeding, particularly beyond the baby stage. They are phenomenal women, so when they recently collaborated to make these epic shirts, I was 100% in. So it was only fitting that after our park visit, that I came home to find it waiting at our door step. Milk is magic, motherhood is magic and the sacrificial act of breastfeeding is magic. Natural term weaning looks like children fully weaning from the breast at 2.5-7years of age. The more we see it, the more we talk about it, the more we normalise it, and that is a powerful gift for mothers and babies of the future

14.01.2022 It’s the little things that help right?

14.01.2022 I get it mama. We are so conditioned to having a problem and going out and buying a product to help us fix it. It’s not your fault, it’s society. But please, if you think you have a low milk supply, I urge you to put that time, effort and money into professional lactation support. While lactation cookies contain what we call ‘galactogogues’ which are milk boosting substances, these often only help mothers who are experiencing a temporary dip in supply. They are usually nutrit...ionally dense which is great for busy mamas. They can help if you find your supply dipping slightly because you haven’t nourished yourself, however I’d encourage you to look holistically at how you can support yourself in postpartum life. Milk isn’t made from cookies. Milk is made because of an increase in prolactin, then the ongoing and regular removal of milk from your breast. If you find yourself in a situation where you have concerns that your supply isn’t meeting the needs of your baby- most significantly bub isn’t gaining adequate weight and following their curve (back to birth weight by 2 weeks of age and then 150g/week+ in the newborn period) and at least 6 wet nappies (and 3-4 dirty nappies in the first month) daily; or if you have a medical history that may impact milk production such as breast surgery, PCOS, post part in haemorrhage etc, then please, please, please don’t buy into the cookie fad and see an IBCLC. I say this with love. It’s not a popular topic as there is money to be made from selling products to vulnerable mothers, but this is why you’ll never find me partnering or promoting products claiming to boost milk production. Love and light

13.01.2022 Let’s talk Syntocinon Intervention during labour and birth is at an all time high, but at what cost? Choice we make during our labour and birth will effect our postpartum period. We cannot disconnect birth from postpartum. In all situations we need to weight up the benefits and the risks. It’s important to consult with your care provider and ask questions. Birth is important. A safe, positive and empowering birth is critical. However birth is one day compared to thousand...s postpartum. How we start our postpartum journey matters enormously. I’d love to hear your stories- were you induced or received Syntocinon to birth your placenta? If you’ve had a couple of babies did you notice a different between them?

13.01.2022 It’s pretty common that mamas don’t know many other mamas who are breastfeeding toddlers, so the chances of them knowing someone who has gone on to feed during a subsequent pregnancy is less likely. There’s a myth that women have to quit breastfeeding during a pregnancy for a variety of reasons however, continuing to breastfeed through a pregnancy is a great way to continue to provide invaluable nutrients, immune benefits, foster attachment and meet the WHO recommendation to ...continuing breastfeeding to the age of 2 and beyond During this season it’s normal that your milk supply drops significantly as your body favours and prepares for your unborn baby. You may experience aversions and more commonly, nipple pain and sensitivity. This varies for every woman, however you may find that considering night weaning or placing boundaries around feeding can help you to continue breastfeeding until you are both ready to stop. Have you breastfed through a pregnancy? What was your experience?

12.01.2022 Did you know there were other ways to give your baby your breastmilk? Have you tried any of these? Recently on my stories I asked mums about whether they were encouraged to give their baby top ups and around 50% said yes. Of those mamas, 75% weren’t informed about other options. When mamas WANT to breastfeed but are faced with top ups, we need to consider the risks and benefits of all feeding methods, of which, bottles carry the greatest risk at interrupting and cutting short a breastfeeding journey. If you are encouraged to give your baby top ups, a second opinion from an IBCLC can help you to determine if these are necessary and what the risks/benefits are for a variety of feeding methods. This is most relevant for babies 0-6 months, after this a straw or sippy cup can also be used.

12.01.2022 I’ve found myself during multiple conversations over the last few days saying the same statement- Not your tribe. It is so important for our mental health and wellbeing that we feel heard, validated and supported. If you find yourself doubting yourself, questioning your parenting or ashamed because of other people, then let me tell you, those people are not your people, that tribe is not your tribe. I will never be everyone’s cup of tea. I don’t want to be. I will, however..., always fiercely advocate for a combination of the needs of babies and the goals of mothers. For those families, this is a safe space for you and I will unapologetically share anything that falls under those two categories. With that said, if I’m not your tribe, feel free to unfollow me. I’d encourage you to be conscious of who you do follow. Parenting can be hard enough but is made that much harder by all the noise. Every person you follow or listen to has a voice, and if they don’t echo a similar message then it adds to the confusion and overwhelm. On top of this, if their ethos doesn’t match yours then it can cause frustration and shame. Follow who you like, but may they encourage, support and empower you. Find your tribe, whoever and wherever they may be, and love them hard.

12.01.2022 The reality is, we’re all not ok at some point in our lives. Some find themselves in this place more than others. 2020 has done a marvellous job of exhausting our coping strategies and pushing us into this place more than we’ve ever been. We are all trying to do the best we can with what we have and where we are in our lives. It is so important that we don’t go it alone. No one wins. This isn’t a race. Ask the question. Go beyond it. Be someone’s safe space. You don’t have to have the answers and you don’t have to be ok yourself to ask how another mama is coping. There is power in vulnerability and using your voice

10.01.2022 Hey It’s been a while since I’ve introduced myself on here. My name is Kate and I’m the one woman band behind Milky Business. Every photo I have of myself features one of my kids, because, well, motherhood. I love helping others to learn and grow (long family line of teachers), but I’m also so committed to helping the 96% of women in Australia who want to breastfeed their babies. I hope I see our maternity care system be overhauled in my lifetime. Facts:... I don’t like wine or coffee. Some how I’ve survived 2 under 2 without it I can’t tolerate disrespect. Not. At. All. I cry every time an ambulance goes past with lights and sirens Massages are the best thing going Currently most proud of the fact my 15 month old can say vulva and knows where it is (midwives kid hey ) I’ve almost hit my goal of breastfeeding for 3 years (although tandem feeding for 15 months of that should count for double the days) I love this community and I’m so glad to have you here. All our breastfeeding journeys are different and we have so much to learn from each other Whether you’re a mama or professional, there’s a place for you here. I’m committed to not filling your feed with noise, and only ever making a warm space that encourages and informs you. Thanks for being here. xx Kate

09.01.2022 Such a worthwhile read

07.01.2022 Truth bomb- Your pregnancy care providers sole job isn’t to just see you through pregnancy and birth. There’s no job well done, hands wiping action once your baby is in your arms. Is it important that you have a healthy pregnancy and an empowering birth? Of course. However that’s not where the story ends. Rather it’s where it starts. Your healthcare provider should either be discussing postpartum life, including breastfeeding and newborn care with you, or referring you on ...to resources or professionals who can. A failure to do so is a failure to adequately support you. It is tunnel vision care that is birth focussed, rather than holistic and considerate of the broader picture. I get it, I’m a midwife and know how broken and time poor our system is. However, frankly, it’s not good enough. If we truly care about mothers and babies then we’ll support and educate them about life in each other’s arms. If you are pregnant and don’t feel prepared for your postpartum journey, or if you’ve had your baby and found that you didn’t feel prepared enough, then I’d encourage you to reach out to your care provider. Provide this feedback to them. They want the best outcomes for you and your baby, so most will be happy to support you but they may not know how. That’s where we can help. If you wish your pregnancy care provider told you about The Ultimate Breastfeeding Guide then feel free to DM us and we can contact them so other mamas don’t miss out.

07.01.2022 Once the shock of 2 heart beats is realised, it’s not uncommon for a mamas mind to wander to the postpartum period. Questions about how she’ll manage two babies and will she lose her mind in the process. Amongst this comes the questions of how will she feed them? Breastfeeding is spoken about as a mix of natural, painful and hard, so surely you can’t 100% breastfeed two babies?! On top of this, we don’t often see twins exclusively breastfeeding. To be fair though, the rates o...f singleton babies exclusively breastfeeding at 5 months is only 15% so it’s not hard to imagine how infrequently you’d hear about twins breastfeeding well. That doesn’t mean it can’t happen. Ultimately, it depends on your goals, the same way it would if you only had one baby. It is more likely that the bubbas will need supplementation in the early days because of the increased risk of prematurity, lower birth weight, birth intervention, admission to neonatal special care unit, jaundice etc. However even with supplementation, there is no reason why it can’t be your own expressed breastmilk or donor milk. In fact it should be recommended in that order if there are difficulties with one or both bubs feeding at the breast. For mums wanting to exclusively breastfeeding twinnies I’d recommend: 1. Epic postpartum support in the way of a regular extra pair of hands such as family or a doula. Your role is to breastfeed. Let go of other baby care tasks such as nappy changes or burping. 2. Have support from an IBCLC, even just in the background for encouragement. Professional support in the early days, particularly if your babies have any complications, can help to set your feeding journey up with success. From next month I will be offering ongoing weekly subscription support Mamas already receive 2 weeks of text support following appointments but this can be great option when you need support for a bit longer. 3. Learn what feeding technique works for you and your babies. You do not have to tandem feed twins, although you may find this more time efficient as they get older. For other mamas they may prefer to alternate breastfeeding and expressing. An IBCLC can help you to work through your options practically. 4. Get organised. While I don’t advocate for tracking feeds and nappies, it can be useful in the beginning for multiples as twins are more likely to need closer observation, two babies is twice the confusion (mum brain!) and it makes it easy for your support team to know where they are up to. Twins are twice the hard work but twice the blessing. Support is paramount. I love supporting twin mamas so reach out if this is you

07.01.2022 Hold up mama, did you know we have a breastfeeding guide just for you? We didn’t create what we thought you might want, we created what we know you need. And not just for right now, but your entire journey. We aren’t kidding when we say it’s revolutionary. Want more info? DM us. So, what’s holding you back? Head to the link in our bio to get the best support and advice today. It’s still on the introductory price but not for much longer.

05.01.2022 Following on from my latest post- many families choose to feed their baby with a bottle. This might be an intentional, informed decision or it might feel like the only option. However, what do you do after that? Go to the shops and stare at all the options, bewildered by all the different shapes, colours, tests and marketing claims. It’s overwhelming! I’ve been known to take a little too long at the shops, stopping to help families who have the same bewildered face purchasing bottles for the first time. So I’ve put all the essential information in this handy post for you. Hit ‘save’ so you’ve always got this at your finger tips

05.01.2022 Tongue ties are a very real problem. They can be both over and under diagnosed depending on the situation. That’s a whole other topic. However parents who elect to give their child surgical revision of a tongue tie via a frenotomy, are often advised to do so by a healthcare provider. Like any other kind of surgery, naturally, you trust the recommended follow up and aftercare without question whether it be from the treating health professional, by another or support groups. O...ne recommendation that I see far too often is the idea of tongue tie wound stretches. This involves a caregiver, usually the mother, placing their finger at the base of the wound under a babies tongue and forcing pressure on it. This is repeated multiple times a day. The aim is to prevent the frenulum reattaching. Sounds fine right? As an adult, please for a moment, imagine someone reopening any wound that you have ever had. Not just once, but multiple times a day for a week or two. This is inflicting pain on you and can be described as barbaric at the least. Now imagine this being inflicted on a young baby who is trusting and dependent I will always support parents with evidence and there is no evidence to suggest that ‘stretches’ after a tongue tie release are of any benefit. If anything there is greater risk. Risk of introducing infection to the wound, pain and oral aversion. Yet rarely a day goes by that I don’t see recommendations for stretches to be performed in support groups. The frenulum cannot grow back. Wound edges can reattach, increasing the chance that another frenotomy may be required. However simple exercises such as breastfeeding effectively and natural lifting action of the tongue with crying can prevent reattachment. As a mother who has walked this journey herself, I share this information with so much love and grace. No parent sets out to hurt their child and only ever does what they believe is in their best interest, particularly when something has been recommended to them. However this is one time I strongly urge parents to ask questions, do their own research and trust their gut. It’s only through sharing this information can we truly know better, do better.

05.01.2022 The risk of formula feeding a baby when in the third world is significant, mostly because of the poor access to clean water needed to make up formula bottles, but also the inability to adequately clean feeding equipment. This can lead some health professionals to believing that the World Health Organisations guidelines are only directed to those in developing countries. However, they are not. Simply because the risk of formula feeding related to preparation and cleanliness do not exist in Australia, does not mitigate the other health risks of formula nor does it mean that exclusive breastfeeding to 6 months and continuing well into toddler years is irrelevant. As a society we have learnt a lot about breastfeeding in the last 15-20 years. Science is incredible and that’s why evidence based support matters

04.01.2022 I hear the heart breaking story from mamas all the time- I didn’t have enough milk. That is a big can of worms I’d always recommend you unpack with an IBCLC before your next breastfeeding journey as there can be so many causes, of it may have been a perception in relation to normal baby or bodily behaviour. However, this little fact I find without a doubt gives mamas encouragement and confidence in their bodies. Not only is your next baby different but so is your body! It is designed to make more milk, more quickly and more efficiently. So if you were thinking of ruling out breastfeeding because of a previous experience, then this is for you! Did you notice changes in your body or milk supply between babies?

03.01.2022 What you see are variations of normal and most of the time you wouldn’t notice the changes had you not expressed. All colours of the rainbow are safe for your baby to drink. It may taste different because breastmilk is a living, changing substance but there is no reason to pump and dump based on the colour of your milk. All breastmilk rainbows are good. ... Have you ever noticed different coloured milk?

03.01.2022 A lovely friend liked my comment and made a meme, what can I say it is the truth... thanks Magdalena Whoolery

02.01.2022 I want you to know one thing- I am here for YOU. I am here for your best pregnancy, your best birth, your best postpartum. Those that know me know that I am all about the attitude of Your body, your baby. Therefore I support YOU in whatever decision it is that YOU make. I say this because birth (like breastfeeding) is a supercharged, emotional topic. However, one in three women reading this will have had or will have a Caesarean birth. It’s a staggering statistic, with man...y of those unplanned and far from what mamas had prepared for or expected. My role in this is to help inform you, to give you knowledge so that YOU can make the best decision regarding the care for you and your baby. It’s not up to your midwife or your doctor to make decisions, it’s their job is like mine- to provide you with all the options, benefits and risks of all, so that you can choose what is best. When we look at birth trauma, we know that it’s not the kind of birth you have that contributes to this, but rather a lack of autonomy. It’s the lack of holistic and unbiased evidence about the benefits and risks of your options, and the opportunity to make these decisions yourself. We are naive if we think that our birth choices don’t affect our postpartum and breastfeeding journey. So, with all that in mind, I share this with all the love in the world to mamas who have had a Caesarean birth and those who will. Remember, there are many things you can do to positively influence your breastfeeding journey and risks are things that *can* happen, not *will* happen. I hope you see information like this as knowledge building and empowering, so that if a Caesarean birth is presented as an option to you- planned or emergency, that you have ALL the knowledge you need to make an informed decision.

01.01.2022 Happy Father’s Day to all those near and far, with us or no longer with us, biological or super-stand-in-step-up kind of dads. You are all adored. Big love to the dads that have our fronts. The ones who learn with you- about breastfeeding, babies cues, how they can help. The dads who rub your weary shoulders, make sure you’ve drunk enough water, don’t begrudge the intimate relationship that breastfeeding creates between you and bub. The dads who give up extra precious bed sp...ace so you can feed comfortably, who grab burp cloths at lightening speeds, who take baby after feeds to sing, read and dance. The dads who are proud of you for giving selflessly and openly supportive of you breastfeeding. This is for you. Thank you. Your impact may not seem wide but oh how deep it is for your family. Thank you just doesn’t seem enough. @dusktildawnphotography_ with my ever supportive baby daddy