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Mindful Parenting Sunshine Coast

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23.01.2022 Great graphic from Backwoods Mama! Read more here: https://www.backwoodsmama.com//stop-telling-kids-be-carefu

19.01.2022 This spoke to me today. Alanna kindly shared it with me in a message. This first passage is a quote from L.R.Knost - Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources: ..."Perhaps the reason teens isolate themselves when they're overwhelmed instead of coming to us with their problems, is because when they're toddlers we isolate them when they're overwhelmed instead of helping them with their problems." This section is written by Laura Muhl: When our kids are small and trying to manage emotions - they can't express what they are feeling. They throw tantrums, they throw things, they have meltdowns, they scream and they whine. This is their way of communicating with us. They need help to organize, process and express their feelings in a healthy way. And society tells us we should punish them for this. Send them to their room, put them in timeout, spank them. We teach them and train them not to show their emotions. Don't whine. Don't complain. Your feelings are wrong. Be quiet. Eventually they stop expressing their emotions to us because we told them over and over again we didn't want to hear it. For so long they needed to deal with it alone. Alone in their room, their chair, their corner. And then they turn into teenagers and we expect them to feel safe talking to us. We expect them to know that NOW it's okay. They are subconsciously wired to think the opposite because this is what they grew up learning. Give your child permission to feel. Let them know their feelings are valid and that you care, no matter how small. Make sure they know that they are heard. Pretty soon meltdowns over crayons will turn into breakups, heartbreak, sex, or even depression. You want your child to know that you will always hear them, no matter how small. You are their safe space." (Shared via Kassie Ehler)

13.01.2022 Parents often report the "after school meltdown"- kids either come home extremely volatile and emotional, or become quiet and withdrawn. Why does this happen?... Firstly, the social and behavioural expectations of kids are far greater at school than they are at home. Kids have to use a lot of energy and resources to pay attention, follow directions, sit still, retain information, manage friendships, please their teacher...the list goes on. When it comes time to head home, it can be challenging for kids to conjure up the same amount of resources required to keep it together. Secondly, they've had to manage all of this without their comfort person, their primary attachment figure - their parent/caregiver. This means that once school has finished, they may feel frustrated by the fact that they were left to deal with 6-7 hours of some pretty tough stuff on their own. Thirdly, they feel like they can melt down at home with their caregivers, because this is their comfort zone, where they know that they are safe, supported and loved. No matter how big the meltdown, they know that their special big person will be there to pick up the pieces. How can you help a child experiencing the "after-school restraint collapse"? Spend an extra 5-10 mins with them before school Send them to school with notes in their lunchbox, a picture of you, or a toy that reminds them of you Instead of focusing on the goodbye, and telling them all of the fun things they will do that day, redirect their attention to your next hello, e.g. Have a great day when I pick you up, shall we go to the park or library? Give them time to relax and have a snack after school, before asking them about their day Engage in physical activity when you get home Have some down time before doing homework (if your school gives homework...) Offer understanding and empathy, rather than punishment/discipline for any unwanted behaviour Respond as best you can with the resources you have.

08.01.2022 Today I have been Buzz Lightyear, Lois Lane and Egon Spengler. I have donned crowns, capes and masks. I have exuded all the appearance of being that fun mum. On...ly I never truly enter into it. I eye up the dishes whilst whizzing into rooms. I sneakily dust down sides and prep the next meal. And you're not daft. You know. You know that I'm not fully there. Oh to enjoy this motherhood like a child would. The ability to exist only in the here and now, without the nagging pull of grown-up stuff. The next this, the next that. I am missing the magic right here at my feet that I get to bear witness to every day. Because you are not a to-do list, my love. You are life itself. There is a pre-emptive guilt to it. The fear that I will one day look back and realise that I was not present enough in my own life, in yours. Dinner is done and I'm flapping around the kitchen trying to get it all tidied up before we start bath and bed. Because if I can just get this done now then I can relax once you're asleep. Time with you versus time for myself. The ongoing battle in my head that doesn't let up. You want me to put the Superman song on again. So I stop and decide that the dishes can fester a bit longer. I play Lois Lane to your Clark Kent and soon enough your glasses are flung off and we are flying. I indulge you and mimic Lois' actions, wobbling my arms a bit as though I might fall. You lap it up and steady me in your arms with the most serious stoic little look on your face. I look at you properly for what feels like the first time all day and I could weep at that realisation. And finally that niggling voice in my head lets up and I realise; THIS is it Kaz. Make it wonderful. Words: Karen McMillan (Mother Truths) Art by: angelica.ch.r