Mind Matters NQ in Townsville, Queensland | Psychologist
Mind Matters NQ
Locality: Townsville, Queensland
Phone: +61 439 557 846
Address: 153 Ross River Road, Mundingburra 4812 Townsville, QLD, Australia
Website: http://www.mindmattersnq.com
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23.01.2022 @ourmamavillage Love these wonderful ways to talk to our boys that help them develop emotional intelligence! #parentingwithoutpowerstrugglespodcast #parentingp...odcast #susanstiffelmanpodcast #susanstiffelman #positiveparenting #parentingwithoutpunishment #parentingwithoutpowerstruggles #consciousparenting #parenting #parentingishard #joyfulparenting #parentingwithpresence #parentingexpert #personaltransformation #selfcare #parentinghelp #bettertogether #homeschool #homeschooling #homeschoolingwithoutpowerstruggles See more
23.01.2022 How cool is this! We often spend a lot of time talking to our kids about the red flags in relationships, when something is going wrong. But this is a checklist ...for when things are going right! This could be a great discussion starter for the way things look in a healthy relationship of any kind. Nedra Tawwab See more
22.01.2022 Shared from theroottherapynyc This week is national infertility awareness week. One in eight people experience infertility and yet, there are still so many silenced stigmas and invisible challenges associated with infertility. We see you. Becoming more aware as clinicians and people when it comes to the complexities of working with or supporting someone experiencing infertility can only help us be more
22.01.2022 I explore this in more depth in my latest book From Boys to Men....so important. https://www.maggiedent.com/shop/books/from-boys-to-men/
19.01.2022 When our kids or teens are in high emotion, their words might sound anxious, angry, inconsolable, jealous, defiant. As messy as the words might be, they have a ...good reason for being there. Big feelings surge as a way to influence the environment to meet a need. Of course, sometimes the fallout from this can be nuclear. Wherever there is a big emotion, there will always be an important need behind it - safety, comfort, attention, food, rest, connection. The need will always be valid, even if the way they’re going about meeting it is a little rough. As with so many difficult parenting moments, there will be gold in the middle of the mess if we know where to look. There will be times for shaping the behaviour into a healthier response, but in the middle of a big feeling is not one of those times. Big feelings are NOT a sign of dysfunction, bad kids or bad parenting. They are a part of being human, and they bring rich opportunities for wisdom, learning and growth. . Parenting isn’t about stopping the emotional storms, but about moving through the storm and reaching the other side in a way that preserves the opportunity for our kids and teens to learn and grow from the experience - and they will always learn best from experience. To calm a big feeling, name what you see, ‘I can see you’re disappointed. I know how much you wanted that’, or, ‘I can see this feels big for you,’ or, ‘You’re angry at me about .. aren’t you. I understand that. I would be mad too if I had to [],’ or ‘It sounds like today has been a really hard day.’ When we connect with the emotion, we help soothe the nervous system. The emotion has done its job, found support, and can start to ease. When they ‘let go’ they’re letting us in on their deepest and most honest emotional selves. We don’t need to change that. What we need to do is meet them where they and gently guide them from there. When they feel seen and understood, their trust in us and their connection to us will deepen, opening the way for our influence. See more
19.01.2022 This. Hits. Hard. The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response. Your I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself conditioning i...s a survival tactic. And you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you. From the parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was never home from working three jobs to feed and house you. From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but never offered a safe haven that honored your heart. From the friendships and family who ALWAYS took more than they ever gave. From all the situations when someone told you we’re in this together or I got you then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when shit got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too. From all the lies and all the betrayals. You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point. Extreme-independence IS. A. TRUST. ISSUE. You learnt: if I don’t put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won’t have to be disappointed when they don’t show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will ALWAYS drop the ball EVENTUALLY right? You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt ancestors who came before you. Extreme-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak. So, you don’t trust anyone. And you don’t trust yourself, either, to choose people. To trust is to hope, to trust is to be vulnerable. Never again, you vow. But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth it’s your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall. Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either. Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming. It’s a trauma response. The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed. You are worthy of having support. You are worthy of having true partnership. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of having your heart held. You are worthy to be adored. You are worthy to be cherished. You are worthy to have someone say, You rest. I got this. And actually deliver on that promise. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy. You don’t have to earn it. You don’t have to prove it. You don’t have to bargain for it. You don’t have to beg for it. You are worthy. Worthy. Simply because you exist. -Jamila White, @inspiredjamila
17.01.2022 The future can still be beautiful, even if it looks different to what you were expecting Image: https://morganharpernichols.com
16.01.2022 Be gentle with yourself. Your best is good enough Image: http://nikkimiles.design
13.01.2022 What a treat to collaborate on these points with Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart from A New Day Pediatric Psychology, PLLC! Many have shared with me their appreciation... for our recent podcast together. I'm so glad it's resonating! Here's the link, in case you missed it: https://www.janetlansbury.com//what-parents-need-to-know-/ Thank you again, Dr. Lockhart!
10.01.2022 Merry Christmas, to everyone.
09.01.2022 There is still this idea circulating that we have to "toughen up" our children in order to get them ready for the Big Bad World. Unfortunately, this punitive ap...proach often comes at the cost of connection and relationship. Children need to know that there are calm waters in your harbour; that when the world becomes too much, there is someone who will guide them through. Be that person. Welcome the stories; embrace the emotions. Be the safe space that you needed when you were a child. words by Rachel Samson (@australianpsychologist on IG)
09.01.2022 EASING NAUSEA FROM ANXIETY Anxiety is a response to stress and it can cause a variety of psychological and physical symptoms. When you feel overly anxious, you... might notice that your heart rate speeds up and your breathing rate increases. And you might experience a bout of nausea. During a moment of high anxiety, you might feel just a bit queasy. It’s that butterflies in your stomach feeling you might have before giving a public presentation or going on a job interview. This kind of nausea may pass in short order. But sometimes, anxiety-related nausea can make you totally sick to your stomach. Your stomach churns so much that you have to make a dash for the bathroom. You may even reach the point of dry heaving or vomiting. Find out more here: healthline.com/health/anxiety/anxiety-nausea Infographic via @notsosecretdiaryofanxiety
09.01.2022 For a free daily strategy to help you overcome depression https://thedepressionproject.com/daily-strategies
08.01.2022 What are the pros and cons of telehealth when compared with seeing a mental health profession in person? Sally-Anne McCormack MAPS says that many clients have found #telehealth appointments easier than they imagined http://ow.ly/DPtX50C8xZN
05.01.2022 Just because our parents did it to us, that doesn’t mean that we have to do the same to our kids. There has been so much research done on the brain that we can’...t keep pretending that how we’re dealing with our kids isn’t impacting their success. Kids need support and connection, not embarrassment and isolation. If you find yourself constantly complaining about your kids’ behavior...feeling like you’re at the end of your rope...wondering what you need to do to feel like you’re #winning... Then maybe it’s time to let go of the strategies your parents used and try something new! If you’re ready to start thinking/feeling through some new strategies, then let’s chat!
03.01.2022 Being trauma triggered is an especially uncomfortable and difficult place to be. Anyone who’s suffered with it, knows how debilitating it can feel and downrig...ht scary at times too. What we need to do in these circumstances is to engage our front brain, because our back brain and limbic system has been activated. Ideally, we need to come back to our pre-frontal cortex and use some strategies to tell our amygdala that there is no threat or danger currently. The problem with trauma is the past enters into the present, our brain doesn’t know that was then and this is now. Anything we can do to tell the brain and the nervous system that this is a re-experiencing and reliving rather than a present moment event helps! I often get clients to do that see, hear, touch, taste, smell exercise which brings them back into the now quite effectively. 1. See three things around you, noticed them, name them if necessary out loud. What can you see in this moment? 2. What are you hearing? What are the sounds around you? Name three out loud and even the sound of your own voice. 3. Can you touch three different things? Do you have a nice warm blanket around you? Or a cuddly toy or a stress ball? See if you can find three things to touch that help ground you in the present? 4. What about taste? Can you have a swig of water, or coffee or herbal tea? And taste that as it enters your mouth? 5. Lastly, but most importantly almost because smell ranks higher in the brain than anything else and go straight to the brainstem. Can you smell anything around you? Often I get clients to have aromatherapy oils with them. There are even the ones with roller balls that you can put on your wrists. I hope the above is useful, do share the graphic above if you’d like or let me know anything that you find particularly helpful in bringing you back from a trauma trigger. I can add it to the list. Much love as always, Lou
03.01.2022 Things may be different to what you planned this Christmas. But remember, every day is a chance to start over. Stay hopeful Image: https://instagram.com/blessthemessy
02.01.2022 Now and then I read something that's so simple, yet so moving - so profound. This is from an address at a graduation ceremony at Syracuse Uni back in 2013 from ...a man named George Saunders. I think you'll be moved by it: ‘So: What do I regret? Being poor from time to time? Not really. Working terrible jobs No. I don’t regret that. Skinny-dipping in a river in Sumatra... and looking up and seeing like 300 monkeys sitting on a pipeline, pooping down into the river, the river in which I was swimming, with my mouth open, naked? And getting deathly ill afterwards, and staying sick for the next seven months? Not so much. Do I regret the occasional humiliation? Like once, playing hockey in front of a big crowd, including this girl I really liked, I somehow managed, while falling and emitting this weird whooping noise, to score on my own goalie, while also sending my stick flying into the crowd, nearly hitting that girl? No. I don’t even regret that. But here’s something I do regret: In seventh grade, this new kid joined our class. In the interest of confidentiality, her name will be 'ELLEN.' ELLEN was small, shy. She wore these blue cat’s-eye glasses that, at the time, only old ladies wore. When nervous, which was pretty much always, she had a habit of taking a strand of hair into her mouth and chewing on it. So, she came to our school and our neighbourhood and was mostly ignored, occasionally teased ('Your hair taste good?' that sort of thing). I could see this hurt her. I still remember the way she’d look after such an insult: eyes cast down, a little gut-kicked, as if, having just been reminded of her place in things, she was trying, as much as possible, to disappear. After a while she’d drift away, hair-strand still in her mouth. At home, I imagined, after school, her mother would say, you know: 'How was your day, sweetie?' and she’d say, 'Oh, fine.' And her mother would say, 'Making any friends?' and she’d go, 'Sure, lots.' Sometimes I’d see her hanging around alone in her front yard, as if afraid to leave it. And then they moved. That was it. No tragedy, no big final event. One day she was there, the next day she wasn’t. End of story. Now, why do I regret that? Why, forty-two years later, am I still thinking about it? Relative to most of the other kids, I was actually pretty nice to her. I never said an unkind word to her. In fact, I sometimes even (mildly) defended her. But still. It bothers me. So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it: What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded... sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly. It’s a little facile, maybe, and certainly hard to implement, but I’d say, as a goal in life, you could do worse than 'Try to be kinder.’ I encourage us all to try to be kinder so that we are not dogged by the regret of living with these failures of kindness
01.01.2022 You may not feel strong right now, but remember that strength comes in different shapes and sizes Image: www.emilycoxhead.com
