MindMovers Psychology in Double Bay | Psychologist

MindMovers Psychology

Locality: Double Bay

Phone: +61 2 9328 1081

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25.01.2022 Blame can be defined as holding others responsible for our misfortunes or our bad experiences and feelings. It is when we hold others responsible for our unhappiness or challenges. This is a really common defensive tool we use as humans. We've all done it! While it's certainly true that life presents many difficulties, to blame others as the reason for one's unhappiness is to cast ourselves in the role of the victim in our own life. This completely disempo...wers us to change. When we push the power of our life onto others (blaming) we take away our own power for change. We become dependent on that person to change to make our lives better. But we can't change others, we can only change ourselves. This means we cannot change our circumstances when we blame. Letting go of blame in no way whitewashes unfair circumstances, or excuses difficult people or invalidates life's many hardships. But this is not about them, this is about YOU. When we change our mindset from a victim of our life to the creator of it, we do this for OURSELVES and reclaim the freedom and power that is only ours! What we can do about it to change? Well, a lot actually! Here are our 5 top tips - let us know in the comments below if you find yourself stuck in this cycle or what you've done to change it. See more

25.01.2022 Teenagers find it very challenging to see their own self-sabotage. When we notice our teens are causing their own pain, it’s very difficult to manage our own stress when we can clearly see what they could do to improve their lives. This is why we want to change our focus when talking to our teens. Instead of focusing on what we see them doing and labelling it as wrong, we want to help teens see the qualities, characteristics and experiences that they have that can help supp...ort them in times of turmoil. This is moving from a problem focus to strengths focus! Focusing on our strengths can help us build momentum to start exploring, shifting and changing the things we perceive to be our growth edges. Focusing on our strengths helps us start the confidence wheel in motion. Once we start feeling good, this momentum and energy support us in continuing to grow and perceive challenges in helpful views. It can also help us feel confident enough to address the things we want to change. Therefore, when working with our teens we must apply the same principles. Sometimes teens will feel powerless or stuck. They may have made a mistake. They may feel anxious about taking the first steps. When we focus only on the problem, they may feel guilty and have trouble moving forward. We must help them gain confidence and can do this by providing feedback about their demonstrated abilities and recognise them for their successes. The words we say to rebuild confidence can be kept relatively simple. Just make sure they are genuine. I know you can ____ because you have always ____. For example, I know you can make things right with your friends because you have always been a compassionate, caring brother. See more

24.01.2022 Are you an overthinker? Here is what you can do about it! Over-thinking, circular thinking or as they term it in research, rumination is the cognitive process of deep thought. Rumination is often defined in psychology as the tendency to repetitively think about and nit-pick through a past negative event that provoked a negative emotion. This is the process where a person is continuously stuck in an unhelpful thinking circuit. They may be cataloguing all the aspects o...f an event that was upsetting to the point it causes more negative emotions such as anxiety. Rumination in parents, especially new parents, has been found to be linked to an increased chance of post-natal depression. This can affect how a mother connects to her child in the early years. It also can influence and be the foreground for unhelpful negative beliefs about one's own parenting ability. Rumination may also create and influence a parent’s tendency to socially isolate and not reach out for support and get help or have a break when needed. This could negatively impact your long-term mental wellbeing and create increased levels of anxiety and dysphoric feelings towards life and your family. Getting stuck in thinking cycles can be hard to notice at first. The most important step you can take in your journey to managing your anxiety and overthinking is to be kind to yourself. Notice when you aren't feeling good emotionally, this comes up as signals in how our body feels. If you don't feel good, chances are you are feeling a negative emotion. Once you notice this negative emotion, be curious about what thoughts you may be stuck in. Engage in your new thought skills and repeat if needed. There is no right or wrong way to do this! See more

23.01.2022 Sometimes we wake up and we feel great, we look out into the world and feel ready to tackle the day. Other times, we wake up and just want to stay in bed and fast forward to the weekend. These sensations we experience are emotions. They can sometimes feel like they’ve come out of nowhere. It can be hard to understand why we are feeling the way we do without wanting to blame someone or some external event. This is because as conscious humans we are constantly wanting to inter...pret the world around us, we want to make sense of what is happening. This includes why we feel the way we do. When our brain wants to make sense of the world it sometimes takes what is called automatic mental shortcuts, and this can lead to feeling worse. This is because the human brain cannot distinguish between a thought and a fact. When our brain takes these mental shortcuts we can summarise events or experiences we have inaccurately. Depending on what shortcut our brain takes will depend on what type of distortion/inaccuracy we experience in our thinking. For example, we may jump to the worst possible conclusion, and at other times we may be very hard on ourselves and self-blame for something that wasn’t even our fault. We may think we are fortune tellers and we may think we know what will happen, even though it hasn't happened yet. There are many different thinking error traps we can fall into that have no basis in fact or truth when we are unaware of our thoughts. These thinking errors have a powerful hold over our mood and everyday quality of life. Try to notice what thinking errors you get stuck in this week. Let us know in the comments below! See more

20.01.2022 Join @ellehalliwell and Clinical Psychologist Jaimie Bloch as we chat about navigating toddler tantrums, unpacking post-lockdown family dynamics and how filling up your child's cup can foster and encourage good behaviour. #mindmovers #positiveparenting

19.01.2022 As humans, we often believe that how we feel is determined by external experiences, factors or because of the behaviour of others. This is, feelings occur outside of my control. For example, we often may say my partner made me so annoyed, my father really made me feel guilty, or I am depressed because I didn’t get into the course I wanted. What these statements all assume is that something outside of our control, outside of ourselves is the reason for the feelings/emoti...ons we experience. However, there is a step we often miss between external events and our emotions, it is the connection between our thoughts and feelings. It is hard to see this connection at first, but what really makes us experience our emotions and respond the way we do is not the situation, words or actions of others, but HOW WE PERCEIVE the situation, words and actions of others. What influences how we feel and then our subsequent behaviour is how we see something or someone and what meaning we derive from it. For example, let's say you are going to dinner with a few people you’ve just met. You sit next to a lady you’ve met briefly, her name is Lauren. Lauren doesn’t give you much eye-contact and is looking around the room. How would you feel if you thought Gosh Lauren is rude, she can’t even give me eye-contact and now I am stuck sitting with her the whole lunch!. What if you thought, Lauren must really find me boring, she must not like me, maybe I shouldn’t have come. What about if you were thinking, Lauren must be feeling anxious, doesn’t know anyone here. She must be looking out for her friend Amber to come. All three thoughts would have provoked three different emotions in you. We are often not aware of this connection between our thoughts and emotions, as they can be automatic. But thoughts are always there and can affect the way we feel. Notice this week what thoughts may be connected to your emotional responses. See more

18.01.2022 During our MindMovers Monday Q&A someone asked: "How can I let go of bad or intrusive thoughts during stressful times especially during COVID-19?" Stuck thoughts, painful ruminations, unrelenting obsessions or intrusive random thoughts can be challenging to manage when they feel like they are endless and unmanageable. These intrusive thoughts can create and cause our anxiety alarm to be set off. When this biological response is triggered, our entire bodies ...can be taken by fear and panic making the thoughts worse. In order for us to shut this response down, especially when we are not in a life or death situation, we need to soothe our body and tell our mind that we are not in real danger. We need to orientate our mind to the present moment. One of the best-researched methods to do this is called Mindfulness. Mindfulness helps us move from stuck obsessive thinking to helping us channel into the present moment. When we become afraid of our thoughts and try and get rid of them, our brain makes them more present and even louder. The trick is to let the thoughts be, and instead of panic that they are there, re-focus our attention onto something else (mindfulness) that is soothing or values-orientated. A great way to ground yourself is by using the 'ABC around the room' method. This exercise will get you connected with the place where you are right now. For example, have a look around the room and name something you see that starts with an A, then B, then C and so forth. See how far you can get through the alphabet and then check-in to see how you are feeling once you have reached the end. It's also important to remember thoughts are just thoughts and we have an estimated 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day that we don't hold on to. When an intrusive thought pops into your mind, remind yourself it's just a thought and let it be. It will pass, just like all thoughts do. See more

18.01.2022 Why is it that some of us are early risers and the rest of us need multiple alarms? Many clients, especially teens and adults will come into the clinic with this very question, but upon deeper investigation what is getting in the way of snoozing and getting up is their poor sleep habits the night before. These ‘night-time’ habits are actually the reason why some people just get up, while others take seven alarms. The psychological reason behind why some people wake up on thei...r first alarm or maybe a couple of minutes before is because these people have good sleep routines. They tend to go to bed at the same time each night, have the same routine before they sleep, and have adequate hours of sleep a night that is generally not interrupted by outside stimuli like electronics, noises, snoring partners and the like. When you’re able to simply get up when you’re supposed to, it means that your brain expects to get up and that your internal clock is consistent. When you have a poor sleep routine it doesn't just affect the quality of sleep you get but it affects how you wake up in the morning and the rest of your day/week. We can mould our own sleep/wake cycle, so we can have a good quality rest which will allow our bodies to wake up naturally in the morning. Here are some tips on how to get a better night’s rest and become someone who can get up on first alarm. See more

15.01.2022 Letting go is the ultimate act of self-love. Choosing to let go of something that no longer serves you, hurts you or is currently not supporting you move forward can be hard. It can be full of what if’s and unknowns. Don’t let uncertainty keep you stuck, choose yourself today. Choose to put yourself first, anything that feels like it’s time to let go of, probably means it’s time to say goodbye. Remember letting go and saying goodbye doesn’t always mean permanently, sometime...s it’s just for now until you can learn the skills you need to manage it better or see the experience, person or situation differently. In order to grow and move towards our ultimate joy, we must notice and be aware of the things that are depleting us. Moving towards a place of life, well-being end self-fulfilment and ultimately joy means letting go of what is not helping you move there. What can you let go of as we move into the new year?' by @colormehappi See more

03.01.2022 We often are hard on ourselves for the actions and decisions we make. We judge them as right or wrong. Did you know there is no such thing as the right decision or the wrong decision, they are just decisions? All decisions lead us somewhere. Some decisions lead us down a more complicated path, whilst others seem more smooth. Neither is better or worse. When we make a decision we are making a choice. A choice based on how we are feeling, what we are wanting and where we are go...ing. Sometimes we don’t even realise we’ve made this choice as it was not done consciously, but regardless it is made. Instead of being hard on yourself after the fact, choose to reframe and see the choice you made in a more neutral light. Unless you have a time machine and then go for it! Go back in time and see where the other pathway leads, you’ll soon see we always end up learning the same lessons regardless of the path we take. The path is just what skills and growth we are yearning for. @iamsitting See more

02.01.2022 Anxiety often gets a bad rap. It is often intuitively linked in our minds with feeling stressed and feeling or experiencing emotional or physical pain. Whilst just life experiencing pain, anxiety is normal and evitable, it doesn't have to always have a negative effect. How we perceive, and what we interpret from the physiological sensations of our anxiety and stress will determine whether we suffer in our stress or use it to elevate ourselves. Remember tha...t when our body experiences an emotion, this is experienced through a physiological sensation. In other words, our body's nervous system becomes aroused. When we are aroused and our bodies are working and functioning we are able to do things. We are able to be motivated, be alert, concentrate and focus. When our body is not aroused we are asleep or bored! A surge of Anxiety and arousal is actually needed in order to focus and concentrate and complete tasks. Where anxiety becomes unhelpful, is when we interpret this surge of sensations negatively and then become over-aroused and the anxiety becomes overwhelming. When we experience anxiety, it shows that we care about what we are doing and it’s when you forget about why you care that you start to struggle with the negative effects of stress. Research has found that simply by embracing a stress is enhancing mindset, it can reduce fatigue symptoms (such as headaches and tiredness) by 23% in one week. Next time you feel anxious, reframe the anxiety from unhelpful to helpful. Tell yourself: This is normal, this is my body's way of getting ready for the day or task at hand. I need this surge of arousal to be up and awake! See more

01.01.2022 Food throwing and spitting behaviour can cause a lot of stress not just at mealtimes but ongoing anxiety at home for everyone in the family. It is important to remember that you can never STOP behaviours from occurring. Yes, that means we cannot magically stop throwing, hitting and spitting behaviours but what we can do is add new behaviours and support our children creating a repertoire of more helpful actions to engage in to meet their needs. Remember behaviour is a way we ...get our needs met and for babies and toddlers, the main need is attention, connection and stimulation. A child's attention span is small when they are babies and toddlers, food throwing and spitting can be trying to meet the needs of attention or stimulation seeking. It is normally a sign their attention has waned. Here is what to do the next time you are in a toddler food fight: 1. Place all your attention on your child during food time. Use it as an experience of connection and bond developing with your child. It is tempting to put them in the high chair and go tackle the endless to-do list, but resist the urge this time. 2. Once you are attuned to your child and you have noticed the unwanted behaviours are beginning, stop food time and say Mummy/daddy is going to stop you from dropping that on the floor. I can see you don't want your food anymore. Are you all finished? 3. Wait for a response. If they are finished eating, engage them in a normal pack up and clean up routine. Help your child be involved. If they have not finished eating, wait to see if they return to eating again. If the same food throwing/spitting behaviours occur, stop feeding time again and say "Oh no, you said you wanted to keep eating, but you are making it clear that you’re done now. I’ll help you down. 4. Remove them from the food and high chair and support and engage your child in the right stimulation seeking behaviour with you. See more