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25.01.2022 I love this quote by Karen over at Mother Truths. As a good girl and rule follower, I spent most of my life doing what I "should" be doing. These days, not so much. ... These days, I spend a lot more time doing what I feel is right for me. And yes, it does feel a bit rebellious at times. Free. Daring. Bold. Empowering. Fun. I like it. There are a lot of "shoulds" in motherhood. Every time you give yourself permission to turn away from the shoulds and turn towards what feels right for you, you get to be a little rebellious and a little bit free! See more

24.01.2022 What others are achieving does not have any impact on your achievements. It doesn't diminish them. It doesn't make them less important or valuable. ... It doesn't make your effort less meaningful or significant. Success looks different for everyone. Is it time to stop comparing yourself to others?

24.01.2022 For anyone struggling or wanting support right now, I have cleared some space in my calendar this week and next, for 1 hour consultations at the special rate of $77 (instead of $110). You deserve to be supported at this challenging time. I would love to help you. Day and night spots available to work around the needs of your family. Message me if you have any questions or to grab one of these limited spots.

23.01.2022 An invitation to explore matrescence with me... It’s not just in your head. You are going through something REAL. All the changes. Being pushed to your edges. Feeling like you've lost yourself. Feeling like the way you used to approach life no longer works. ... When we become mothers we enter into a transition from woman to mother. It involves the complete transformation and identity shift of a woman throughout her child raising years psychological, social, emotional, physical, economic and spiritual. It’s called matrescence. In modern society, this transition is not valued or spoken about, so we enter into it unaware and unprepared. But it explains SO much. It's often a huge relief when women learn that there is a real and proven reason for what they are feeling and experiencing. I'd love you to explore this further with me. Today I am opening the doors to the next round of my Mama Rising small group online program. This beautiful program will help you: Understand the transformation you are experiencing so you can release the self criticism, guilt and blame and feel more at ease. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion through challenging times. See your true strength as a woman and mother. Embrace the real value of a woman and mother in the world. Trust your journey and yourself. Rediscover and live as who you truly are. 9 weeks, fully supported, 10 places only (a couple have already been snapped up by women who have had prior conversations with me). We start 12th July. Come and join us. More info and registration: https://www.moretomum.com.au/courses-an/mama-rising-course/

23.01.2022 Made it to bedtime! Now time for a cuppa and then some work. What are you doing tonight?

21.01.2022 This is one of my favourite quotes. So many mothers tell me they don't know who they are anymore. They feel like they lost themselves somewhere along the way of motherhood. (There's a good reason for this, but that's a post for another day.) They feel they are less. Invisible. But I know that they are MORE. Growing. Stretching. Transforming. ... And I love to help them know it too. Do you feel like you've lost yourself in motherhood? See more

21.01.2022 New Blog Post Dear Perfectionism, I’ve decided it’s time we parted ways.... I don’t want to be perfect anymore. I’m putting down the burden of constant striving, worrying, overworking, overthinking, self-criticism and fear. This is my life. I get to choose how it feels for me. I get to choose how I will approach and respond to the things that happen to me. I get to choose the example I set for my family. I choose to be good enough. I choose to be my authentic, vulnerable and beautifully imperfect self. I chose to run my own race. I choose to let my intuition and heart be my guides. I choose to set my own expectations. I choose to treat myself with kindness and compassion. I don’t need to be the perfect woman, wife, entrepreneur, mother, stepmother, daughter or friend. I need to be ME. That is already good enough. Lovely, if you're struggling with the need to get everything right, or you need to let go of a part of your identity that is no longer true for you, then head over to my blog to read the rest of this letter to my Perfectionism, taken from my own journal.

20.01.2022 I received a few new books over the last week and can't wait to get stuck into them! We're now in that weird time between Christmas and New Year where time seems to go more slowly and we don't know what day it is. If you're looking for something amazing to read ... (or start reading! ) before the new year, check out my favourite books over on my website! These are all books I have read myself and can personally recommend. They cover wellbeing, self development and parenting. (There's also a category for kids books that support emotional wellbeing and life skills). You can find them here: https://www.moretomum.com.au/products-i-love-books/ What are you reading right now?

20.01.2022 When a baby is born, so is a mother. Motherhood changes us. We don't "bounce back to normal", despite society telling us that's what we should do. We can't go back. Instead, we transform. That transformation isn't instant or easy. It's deep and wide, confusing and messy. It's long and leaves no part of us untouched. ... If you're feeling like you're not the same woman you used to be, and that motherhood is messier, harder, more confusing, more overwhelming and more impactful than you expected, please know that you are not alone. You may not hear other women talking about it, but it's happening to us all. At different times, in different ways, at different levels of intensity. But we are all transforming. You're going through something real. You aren't imagining it and it's not your fault. It's called matrescence and there is support available to you as you navigate it. If you want to talk about what you're experiencing, you are so welcome to send me a DM. I'd love to listen. :: My beautiful little boy, only about an hour out in the world and in Special Care, after his surprise entrance nearly 6 weeks early. See more

20.01.2022 Wisdom from my teacher and mentor Amy Taylor Kabbaz. In case you haven't heard me explain it before, matrescence is the complete transformation and identity shift that women embark on when they become a mother. It impacts every part of us. We are no longer the same. ... The thing is, that no one tells us about this transformation. We head into it unprepared and unaware. So, when things get difficult, we don't know that it is normal. We don't know that we're not the only one experiencing the changes. We don't understand why it's so confusing and hard. And we blame ourselves. Self-blame is something we learn and over time it can become an automatic reaction when things go wrong. Society's expectations and treatment of mothers also play a part in the way mothers blame themselves constantly. Later this week, over on the blog, I'll be exploring self-blame further. Why do we do it? Is it helpful? How can we release ourselves from this pattern? I'll also soon be sharing more details on my upcoming Mama Rising program, which will support you in your further exploration of matrescence and how there is nothing wrong with you. Do you find yourself engaging in self-blame?

19.01.2022 Life is not normal right now. You might be feeling particularly exhausted, stressed, anxious, angry, frustrated, overwhelmed or worried. It's ok if you need to dial things down a little to give yourself some breathing space. Try to stop comparing yourself to what you see other mums doing on social media. Try not to give into the pressure to be doing all the things you read in articles. ... What feels most important to you right now? What would make your days feel enjoyable, easy and beautiful for you? What would a successful day look like to you right now? The answers to these questions can change from day to day or in different seasons of our lives. Give yourself permission to define success the way that feels right for you, in your current circumstances. You get to choose.

19.01.2022 This is lockdown. A virtual zoo excursion where you bring your own zoo animals and wear an explorer outfit made out of brown kraft paper because that's what we had available at home. Kids are so resilient and adaptable! What have your kids been enjoying lately?

19.01.2022 Above all else I want you to know that you are loved and loveable. You will learn this from my words and my actions. The lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself. ... I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging and joy every time you see me practice self compassion and embrace my own imperfections. We will practice courage in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen and honouring vulnerability. We will share our stories of struggle and strength. There will always be room in our home for both. We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first and then with each other. I want you to know joy so together we will practice gratitude. I want you to feel joy so together we will learn how to be vulnerable. Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain but instead I will sit with you and teach you how to feel it. As you begin your wholehearted journey, the greatest gift I can give to you is to live in love with my whole heart and to dare greatly. I will not teach, or love or show you anything perfectly but I will let you see me and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you, truly, deeply seeing you. - Brene Brown's Parenting Manifesto

17.01.2022 New Blog Post Here's part 2 of the blog series on returning to paid work! This is for you if you are:... - Worried that you're not as mentally sharp anymore. - Concerned that reduced hours or changed priorities will lead to you not being taken seriously. - Unsure how to advocate for your needs. - Not sure how to still make time for yourself after you return to work. Diana Cregan from The Back to Work Roadmap for Mothers, is joining me to answer your questions and help set you up for a smoother transition back to work. https://www.moretomum.com.au/2021/02/01/returning-to-work-2/

16.01.2022 Happy New Year! 2020 was a lot. Who knows what 2021 will hold. At the beginning of the new year, there's a lot of talk about how we can be better, achieve more or change something about ourselves. ... I'd love to invite you to consider a different approach. What if you dedicated 2021 to being more YOU than ever before? Rediscovering. Returning to you. Removing the barriers that keep the beautiful, real you hidden away. You don't HAVE to be any different to who you really are. You are already enough. You are already amazing. You are already valuable and loveable. I have found that the more me I allow myself to be, the more ease and peace I have in my life. Would you like to be more YOU this year?

16.01.2022 So many women have told me they want to do their best, or be their best everyday. Their desire and intent is beautifully pure - they want to give their all and be the best mum possible. But the way we measure "our best" often puts A LOT of pressure on us, and creates a lot of guilt and shame when we can't reach it every day or in every moment. We tend to see our best as the highest standard we can reach. It may be realistic, when everything is working in our favour an...d we are well, rested and feeling good. However, this standard is often unrealistic, a combination of socially constructed expectations, what we see others doing and what we feel we have to do to be loved, valued and be deemed a "good mum". We hold onto this standard and measure ourselves against it in each moment and each day. The problem is, as women, we are not the same everyday. We are changeable and cyclical. Our energy ebs and flows. We feel different on different days. Stress also drastically impacts our ability to be "our best". What if, instead, your best was determined in each individual moment? What if you allowed for the fact that you are different at different times? What if you accepted that your patience, energy, tolerance, focus, motivation and desire were different at different times? What if your best was simply doing the best you can with the resources you have at the time? Would that allow you to feel that you were doing your best more of the time? See more

15.01.2022 Do you ever feel like you've been uprooted from life as you knew it by motherhood? You knew who you were, what you were here to do and how you fit into the world, and then all of a sudden, you didn't. Nothing looks quite the same. You no longer function the same. You don't feel the same. ... This is matrescence. In the words of my amazing mentor @amytaylorkabbaz, matrescence is the complete transformation of a woman as she moves through motherhood - psychological, social, emotional, physical and spiritual. Nothing is left untouched by motherhood. Want to know more? Stick around, because I love to talk about this! : Taken at one of our local parks after recent storms. We thought it was a pretty impressive sight!

14.01.2022 Have you heard of self-silencing? It's when someone suppresses and hides their feelings, identity and needs, in order to appear agreeable, preserve relationships and avoid conflict or loss. Mothers and women everywhere are self-silencing. ... Not sharing our opinions or saying we disagree. Not standing up for ourselves. Not letting someone know they've crossed one of our boundaries. Not asking for help or saying what we need. Not allowing others to see or hear what is really going on for us. Not admitting how we really feel about ourselves. Not being too loud, too opinionated, too needy or too emotional. Not letting anyone see that we're not ok. The cost? Anger, resentment and stress grows within us. We all think we're alone in our challenges when all around us, mothers are experiencing similar things. We don't get what we need. We think it's our fault and that something is wrong with us. We can't be ourselves and we feel isolated. Lovely, it's not your fault. We haven't been shown how to do this and the support isn't always there. But the more we can speak up (with trusted people), the easier it gets and the more we realise we're not alone. When we speak up, other women realise they can speak up too. Can you identify where you may be self-silencing in your life? Do you have a trusted person you can talk to in relation to this area? See more

14.01.2022 Merry Christmas beautiful ladies! While I know this Christmas is different for many, I hope you are able to feel some love and peace today. Thinking of those of you who are missing loved ones, who are grieving the year they had hoped for and who are struggling mentally, emotionally or financially. If today is painful for you, allow space to feel those feelings and gift yourself plenty of kindness and compassion.

14.01.2022 When he was in kinder, my son's teacher used a saying; "You get what you get and you don't get upset". (Note: this post isn't about how effective or helpful this phrase is, that's a separate topic ). While writing my weekly email to my community yesterday, I was talking about how it's totally ok to feel however you are feeling, even if it's what people typically call "negative" emotions, or the emotions that "good" mums aren't supposed to feel. As I was about to sign... off the email, I had a flash of inspiration - you feel what you feel and that helps you deal. Do you see what I did there? I'm such a nerd when it comes to word humour. But while it made me giggle, I actually love it! When we allow ourselves to feel whatever we are feeling, we can process and release those feeling. That means noticing the emotion, observing how it feels in your body, giving it a name and even sitting with it for a while. The key is not to stay there forever, but feel it fully and let it pass through you. This is a healthy and helpful process. The alternative is that you suppress and ignore the feelings, which only leads to them coming back, usually with more intensity, until you do deal with them. So, my loves, you feel what you feel and that helps you deal! See more

14.01.2022 Can you relate to any of these? Returning to paid work can be much more challenging than we might have expected, but with some preparation and planning, it is possible to create a smoother transition for yourself and your family. Diana Cregan from @backtoworkroadmap, joins me for this 2 part blog series to answer questions from the More to Mum community and help set you up for success. ... This week, I'm sharing part 2 of our conversation (you'll also find part 1 linked to the article). Read the article here: https://www.moretomum.com.au/2021/02/01/returning-to-work-2/

13.01.2022 Hi there! It's been a little while since I've introduced myself here, so here we go! I'm Louise, I'm 41 and I live in Melbourne Australia. My family includes my husband, my 27 and 26 year old step daughters, 25 year old step son and my 6 year old son. I also have two incredibly gorgeous grandchildren who are 1 and 18 months old. Here are some other random facts about me:... I'm Scottish - born in Dundee, to a Scottish mother and Malaysian Chinese father. Unfortunately I don't have a Scottish accent and am no good at faking one . My husband and I love the beach and warm weather. We got married barefoot on the sand in Maui, Hawaii. It was the BEST DAY EVER! When I was a little girl we travelled a lot and I was (and still am) obsessed with flying, so I wanted to be a flight attendant. Then when I got into high school, I decided I wanted to study Hotel Management in Switzerland. But I actually ended up studying Commerce (HR and Information Systems) which landed me in the corporate world where I stayed full time until I started also working for myself in 2016. I only buy handbags that literally take my breath away. I rocked neon clothing, glow in the dark jewellery and crimped hair in the 80s. I have a book addiction that could singlehandedly keep Book Depository afloat Supporting mums is my favourite job ever and every conversation I have with my clients leaves me buzzing. This is what I'm meant to be doing in the world. I love connecting with you all, so comment below and tell me something random about you!! Thanks so much for being here! See more

13.01.2022 We're 10 days into 2021 already. How are you feeling? Where are you headed? Personally, I've been allowing myself a slow start. Family time, not too much planning or direction, just going with the flow. ... I know for many, the start of this year is confusing, worrying and unsettling. Over the next fortnight, in my Facebook group, I'll be focusing on anchoring ourselves for the new year. What does this mean? An anchor helps you ground yourself. It gives yourself something to hold onto when things are overwhelming so you feel calmer or more sure of yourself. Together we will allow space for our feelings to rise (because 2020 and 2021 have stirred so many feelings), tune into what we need, come back to what we know is true, decide what can be left behind and then find our focus for this year. I hope you'll join me. You can find us here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theresmoretomum/

13.01.2022 Do you push your anger down, try to ignore it or distract yourself from it? Do you feel like you can't talk to anyone about your anger because they will judge you as a bad mum? Society believes that angry mums are bad or scary mums. ... But all mums feel angry at times. Angry mums are good mums having a hard time. And it's no wonder. There's so much pressure on us to reach impossible standards. Anger is not a bad thing. While we might need to learn to express it differently, anger is bringing us information we need. Anger is telling us there is something that needs our attention. For example: - We need to look after ourselves better. - We need to put a boundary in place. - There's a vulnerable emotion we need to acknowledge and heal such as hurt, embarrassment, grief, shame, powerlessness, inadequacy or rejection. - Our expectations of ourselves or our children may need to be revised. - We need to make some changes in our lives to make things less stressful / easier / more manageable. - We need to revisit our beliefs about ourselves and our lives. When we see anger as information we need, it becomes more empowering and less threatening or scary. Sure, it's still uncomfortable but when we learn to find the message, and deal with it, that particular area may not trigger anger as much anymore. You're not a bad mum. You're a good mum who has a hard time sometimes.

12.01.2022 Kindness always makes a difference

11.01.2022 I used to think that anything less than perfect was a waste of time, a job not done properly or FAILURE. I mean, why wouldn't I try my hardest? Why wouldn't I give my all?... Perfectionism looks all sparkly and appealing. I picture it as a beautiful handbag that takes my breath away when I first see it. (That's literally how I choose handbags - a story for another time ). You think it makes you look even better. You are captivated by what it brings into your life. You love the compliments and recognition. But then, you realise that the beautiful handbag is full of heavy stress, anxiety, fear and exhaustion. It felt pretty frightening to let go of it at first. Especially because the process was initiated by something out of my control and not by choice. Then I realised that imperfect can be just as sparkly. Imperfect can still be captivating. Imperfect is still worth complimenting and recognising. And imperfect is much less emotionally, physically and mentally draining. I decided to say goodbye to perfectionism. It was no longer serving me. Later this week, over on the blog, I'll be giving you an inside look at how I said goodbye. Sometimes we need to say goodbye to parts of us that no longer serve us. Do you consider yourself a perfectionist? See more

11.01.2022 I've always said motherhood is full of contradictions. This poem from Mother Truths says it beautifully. Can you relate?

11.01.2022 What are you struggling with right now, lovely mumma? If you'd like some support, send me a message to see if I can help you. For more details about how to work with me, head to my website: https://www.moretomum.com.au/one-on-one-coaching/... To learn more about my online course, go to: https://www.moretomum.com.au/imperfectandenough/

11.01.2022 Wondering what it's like to work with me? Here are some beautiful messages I received recently. If you're not ready for one on one coaching sessions, or are looking for something more flexible that fits around your family, then I offer daily support via the free text and voice message app Voxer.... You can connect with me at any time throughout your day and work through your frustrations, worries, feelings, questions and challenges as they arise. It's amazing what you can achieve this way! $85 for 1 month or $225 for 3 months. Message me for more details or to get started See more

10.01.2022 I spent nearly the whole day just hanging out with 2 precious little people. Didn't tick off any to-do list items. I could see this as an unproductive day. ... But I actually see it as a really productive day. This is because today my priority was connecting and having fun. That was the purpose of the day. So, I'd say it's been very successful. We get to choose what we want to "achieve" each day and it doesn't have to always be all the things. What did you do today?

10.01.2022 "She's beating you" someone said to me on the weekend. The moment was lighthearted and it was a compliment to my beautiful friend who had done something really well. "That's ok!" I said with a laugh. ... And I meant it. Years ago, my perfectionistic nature would have let that comment make me feel not good enough. I would have thought of the ways I didn't measure up to her. I would have criticised myself for not doing better. But these days I know I'm not in competition with anyone else. I've don't need to prove myself. I'm happy for everyone to do well. I didn't have a single bit of "not good enough" emotion in me in response to that comment. It made me reflect on how far I've come in this area. Motherhood isn't a competition. You don't have to prove or compare yourself. Someone else's success doesn't make your success any less. If you struggle with perfectionism and feeling not good enough as a mother I'd love to help you. Send me a message to find out how we can work together!

10.01.2022 When you can't do the self-care you want to do... It's so frustrating when you've got your heart set on going for a run or calling your mum and you just can't get any time alone to do it. Or perhaps you really want to journal or read before bed and your child will not go to sleep. ... Let's face it, even though our needs are important, sometimes we do have to make sacrifices and compromises. Life with children is unpredictable and often out of our control. And we love them and want to meet their needs. What's important is that while you're meeting their needs, you're not ALWAYS sacrificing and compromising your needs. Here are 3 things that can help: 1. Keep your expectations realistic and choose to believe that self-care can be flexible. It's more about the longer term continuity, rather than every self-care activity being perfect. 2. Focus on what you can do rather than what you can't. Remember that every little bit counts, e.g. 2 days of journalling is better than none. 3. Identify what you are craving, or what feeling you are really needing and find an alternative that will still meet that need. e.g. you wanted to go for a walk by yourself and you don't have anyone to look after the kids while you do it. You really want to feel quiet and calm, so instead you head to your bedroom for a 5 minute calming meditation while the kids are playing, or you create quiet time for the kids for 20 mins, so you can have some too. Which of these could be useful for you? Any other ideas? : View from my run. I love this peaceful path. See more

10.01.2022 New Blog Post What a year! I've been reflecting on this year and have realised that one of the themes for me was letting go. Letting go is a lesson we learn and practice over and over and I think this year in particular provided lots of extra opportunities to do this.... In this week's blog, I'm sharing how 2020 challenged me to let go both in new ways and in deeper ways. I'm managed to come through relatively calm, content and grounded and I feel like letting go has been a bit part of this. (This doesn't mean that parts of it weren't very challenging, but that I've been able to work through those challenges and move on). I've also included 5 things that really helped me ride through the emotions of letting go this year, that you can apply in your own life at any time. https://www.moretomum.com.au/2020/12/22/letting-go/

10.01.2022 I was listening to @AmyTaylorKabbaz interview Eve Rodsky yesterday and I was particularly struck by this question Eve shared: Do you believe you have permission to be unavailable? Yes, I mean unavailable to your family. For 2 mins, 5 mins, 30 mins, 2 hours, whatever length of time is relevant. To do something for yourself. ... We’re expected to care for our families 24/7, but everyone needs a little down time. I know there are logistical issues to sort out, and support is essential to make it happen. But at the very core, if we don’t give ourselves permission to be unavailable sometimes, we may never have that time, we may not feel we can ask for support, or that time will not feel good. It will be laced with guilt and our thoughts will constantly turn to what we should be doing instead of being unavailable. It won't refresh or restore us. Do you believe you have permission to be unavailable? See more

09.01.2022 Ever been called a supermum? It can feel pretty good to be validated like that. It can feel like all your hard work is seen. But let's look a little deeper.... What is a supermum really? Is she someone that does it all with ease? Does she juggle her family, career and other responsibilities with ease? Does she have well mannered, obedient, milestone-reaching children? Does she always have a smile on her face, look well presented and seems completely contented with her life? I used to think this was what a supermum was. But now I see and have experienced how behind the scenes that mum is constantly making trade offs. She is prioritising other people's needs over her own. She is feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and the pressure to be perfect. She feels like she can't ask for help because SHE is the one that is supposed to help others. SHE is the one that is always managing. She's worried she's failing even though everyone thinks she's doing an amazing job. She's so busy she doesn't even stop to acknowledge the things that she has done well, because she's moving swiftly onto the next thing. I don't think that sounds super. It's exhausting. What is super to me, is to be able to live in a way that is aligned to my values and priorities. To be able to extend myself plenty of love, kindness and compassion as I navigate the inevitable challenges of motherhood. To be able to be seen and loved for who I am. To trust and value myself, and my role as a mother, and know my true strength. To feel connected to myself and others, with people to draw on for support. To know and live in a way that honours my own needs and desires as well as caring for the needs and desires of my family. What would be super for you? If you'd like some support in navigating the challenges of motherhood and creating your version of super, I have 2 coaching places currently available. Send me a DM to book a complimentary chat to explore how we can work together. xx

09.01.2022 We've all been caught up in the shoulds at some point in time. You know that sense of dread mixed with obligation, maybe with a little resentment on the side. Next time you feel you "should" do something, ask yourself "says who?" You might find the answer is:... - You don't know! - Someone who doesn't really need to be happy with the decisions you make in your life. (i.e. almost everyone unless the decision significantly impacts them) - Someone who doesn't know the specifics of your personal situation and therefore can't recommend the best approach for you! Then ask yourself: What do I want to do? What feels right for me?

08.01.2022 Who loves times saving hacks? In this blog, I share 25 ways to save time and save your sanity in the process. Which is your favourite?... https://www.moretomum.com.au//25-ways-to-save-time-and-sa/

08.01.2022 I'm curious....

08.01.2022 What a happy surprise to learn that my blog has made it into the Feedspot Top 100 Australian Mummy Blogs and Websites of 2020 at #50! I wasn't even aware of this list, so that makes it even sweeter because I wasn't trying to rank! Thank you to all you beautiful people who read and send me messages about my blogs! I love writing them and get so much joy and purpose from knowing that they help you.

08.01.2022 You thought you knew the path of motherhood. What it would look like, how you would navigate it, what it would feel like. You'd read all the books, checked all the checklists, bought all the things. But then that clear path you had envisaged wasn't what you found once you set out. ... Things didn't go the way you thought they would. It didn't feel the way you expected. There were obstacles you didn't anticipate. You didn't know which way to go. Despite all the books that tell us how to succeed at motherhood, there is no one right path. Our children haven't read those books and even if they had they'd be unlikely to conform to just one way of being. If the path was exactly as you expected it to be you wouldn't be growing as you are now. You wouldn't be pushed to your limits to question who you are, how you approach life and what you really want. You wouldn't be invited to heal, evolve and learn. You're not doing anything wrong. The path is unexpected because that's the gift of your matrescence. There's nothing wrong with you. You're finding your way to a new destination. A new you. And it's messy, uncomfortable and scary at times. But what if the path you are on brings you more than you could have even imagined?

08.01.2022 Who am I outside of being someone's mum? Raised in a society that values decisiveness, independence and clarity, it can feel extremely uncomfortable to be unsure of who you are outside of your role of mother. But that's the reality for so many mums. ... We think that motherhood will slot nicely into our already full lives. We don't expect that it will turn everything, including the very core of us, upside down and inside out. Later this week, over on the blog, I'll be exploring the loss of identity that mums often feel and the process of figuring out who you are. Do you feel like you lost your identity when you became a mother?

07.01.2022 All your emotions are valid, lovely. They are showing you what needs your attention.

07.01.2022 Do you wish you had someone to talk to in the midst of a challenging time? Would it help to have someone to offer some guidance, or ask the right questions to help you gain perspective and figure out what to do next? Would you like to know that someone was always there to support, encourage and listen to you?... I provide daily support to mummas via Voxer on a month by month basis. Voxer is a free voice and text messaging app where can chat at anytime about your frustrations, worries, feelings, questions and challenges as they arise. $85 per month or $225 for 3 months. Message me for more details or to get started. See more

07.01.2022 Hey there! How are you (really)? I know there are lots of exhausted mummas out there at the moment. Mum life + pandemic is a lot. If you've been watching my stories you may have caught me offering discounted 1 hour consultations for 2 weeks. Well, this week is the second and last week.... If you'd like someone to listen and encourage you, to help you shift those heavy uncomfortable emotions, work through your challenges or figure out what to do next, then I'd love to talk to you! Limited spots available. Day and night sessions to work around your family. $77 (normally $110). Message me for details or to grab your spot. Available until end of the weekend only. You don't have to do this alone. See more

07.01.2022 What would make you worthy of self-care? Would you need to DO something? Get to a certain point on your never ending to-do list? Be a certain way?... Achieve something? We place a lot of expectations and conditions on ourselves don't we? Let me tell you what I believe the answer to be. Being human. Being you. Just being. The only thing that will help you feel worthy of self-care, is you deciding that you are worthy of self-care. Because there IS NO level of achievement, or no particular way of being that is required to earn self-care. Only that you exist. Which of course, you do! Self-care is the way we support ourselves through the ups and downs of life. It’s fundamental, not an add on. It’s vital, not a luxury. It’s part of your life, not something you need to earn. How would your life be different, if you believed you were worthy of self-care?

07.01.2022 Is there a mum in your world who you think is the perfect mum? Or the one you aspire to be like? It's a beautiful and humbling compliment to be held in this regard by anyone. It's also wonderful to be looking for examples of what you aspire to and spending your time with people who are aligned with your values and goals. However, in a society that expects mums to be perfect, we need to be careful that we aren't setting ourselves up for failure. ... I invite you to reflect with me here for a moment. Does comparing yourself with her make you criticise and feel bad about yourself? Do you tend to focus on her strengths and ignore the fact that she too struggles with things? Do you choose to emulate her way of doing things over checking in with and trusting your own intuition? Does your admiration of her make it hard for you to be vulnerable and authentically connect with her because you are scared of what she might think of you? This is when admiring someone else isn't empowering for you. Instead, it keeps you focused on the ways you're not good enough and prevents you from being your authentic self. I know that it comes from a good place. The intention is wanting to be your best. The admiration is genuine. But sometimes it can cause you to overlook your own strengths and successes. Your unique qualities and life path. The fact that you are already good enough. So, continue to recognise and admire the amazing women in your life. But please, also recognise the ways in which YOU are amazing, knowing that no one is perfect and that we all have challenges and struggles, even if you can't see them or you don't hear about them.

07.01.2022 I was on a group zoom training on Saturday morning from 7 - 8am. My son was with me for most of the call. He's never really far from my side. About halfway through the call he started to bounce around, knocking into me, pressing things on the keyboard and pulling the headphones out of my ear (the other side was in his ear). I suggested he bring some toys and play next to me. Or a book. He didn't like those suggestions. He tried to close my laptop. He threw cushions ar...ound me. I had to turn my camera off so we didn't distract anyone. I managed to get through the rest of the call, while talking to him, cuddling him and suggesting things for him to do. Afterwards, we talked about what had happened and dug a little deeper. "I can see that you're trying to tell me something is upsetting you. I'm thinking that it might have been really hard for you to wait for me to get off that call. Is that right?" [He nodded and cast his eyes down] "I understand that it would have been hard. It must have felt like a really long time. Do you want to tell me how you were feeling?" [He looked at me with big sad eyes] "I felt like you didn't love me mummy. I felt like you didn't have time for me and I wasn't important." Heart crushing words. No mum wants their child to feel anything less than treasured. I could have allowed myself to be consumed with guilt at that point. I could have focused on the fact that I caused my precious son to feel unloved and unimportant and that I prioritised my own needs over his. I could have questioned my choice to continue to the call when he clearly would have been happier if I'd stopped. But I didn't. I have learned that it is ok for me to make my desires a priority too. That it is good for him to understand and see that as adults we need to have things that make us fulfilled and happy, and pursue our dreams. It is good for him to see me learning and growing. So instead of feeling guilty, and questioning whether I should be prioritising myself over him, we had a talk about how my love for him never changes. How, I love to spend time with him and that we will have plenty of time to play now that the call is done. That he is welcome to stay near me while I am doing things, and that no matter how much I have to do, he is always important to me. And lastly, how it's important for every person to find things that they love doing for themselves and create time for them. I've found that I need to keep reinforcing these messages over and over. I want him to be so used to hearing them that his subconscious absorbs them and delivers them to him without me even saying a word. Sometimes we don't have to be consumed by guilt. Instead, we can look for what opportunities the situation brings. Maybe we're not doing anything wrong at all. If you'd like to talk about how you are managing guilt, send me a DM. xx

07.01.2022 It can feel really hard to find time to connect or get the support you need when you have your children with you 24/7. That's why I decided to offer a different sort of support to mums, in addition to my normal coaching services. Mums have messaged me in moments of self-doubt, when they were feeling guilty and regretful about yelling at their children, when they wanted someone to celebrate a win with and when they wanted to figure out how to handle a sensitive situati...on with their partner. We've talked about how to unwind stress, debriefed situations that haven't gone so well, set intentions for the day after a sleepless night, worked through what to do in response to a hurtful comment and figured out how to tackle a tricky decision. These are just a few examples of the kind of things we can discuss via text and voice messages on the free app Voxer. You can connect with me daily and work through your frustrations, worries, feelings, questions and challenges as they arise. I'd love to support you in a way that fits around your family. $85 for 1 month or $225 for 3 months. Message me for more details or to get started See more

05.01.2022 R U OK Day is a great reminder that we can never assume that someone is ok, just by looking at them. They may not even tell us how they are really feeling when we ask them if they are ok the first time. Mothers often feel like they can't be honest about what's going on for them, because they might be judged, criticised or perceived as a bad mum. We needs connection. We all need people in our lives that will continue to ask us if we are ok, and learn to spot the little signs... that show we're not quite our normal selves. There's always room for more love, more care, more connection, more interest and more listening.

05.01.2022 Yesterday was tough here. I think lockdown is getting on everyone's nerves. If you're feeling this way too, or you've had a tough day for any other reason at all, this is for you. Which one do you need to hear the most?

04.01.2022 New Blog Post I don’t know about you, but no one ever mentioned to me that motherhood might change who I am. I received plenty of advice and information about how to care for my baby and some guidance around how to tend to my own practical needs, like sleep, nutrition and exercise, but nothing about changing identity in motherhood. I just expected that I would be the same me, and also a mother.... I’m definitely not the same person anymore, and who I am is still evolving. If you feel like you don't know who you are anymore, this blog post is for you. It's ok to not know who you are right now. You are evolving and growing. This is part of your matrescence. And while this lack of clarity is uncomfortable and may even come with a sense of loss or grief over your pre-motherhood self or life, know that the evolution is the point. This is your time to go deeper and discover the new version of you. This is your time to let go of what everyone else expects of you and who they think you should be, and discover what is true for you. Read more over on the blog...

04.01.2022 What is productivity? Most women I work with say they are productive when they are busy doing things with some sort of tangible outcome. Urgent things. ... Important things. Things that other people want done. Things that would be nice to do. Things that we've always done, so we continue to do them. Things that fill the time because we don't want to do the important things. Things that help us feel productive. Because we've been told productivity is important. Good mums are productive. They multitask and handle EVERYTHING. We need to always be doing something and creating tangible outcomes. Most women I speak to do not immediately think of things like rest or having fun as productive. The results aren't as tangible as a clean house, a tray of freshly baked muffins, a paid bill, folded washing, an organised cupboard, a sent email or a full fridge of food. But they are just as important and still contribute to us achieving our goals and living the life we want. Rest is productive, because it recharges you so that you can continue doing what needs to be done (most likely faster and to a better standard). It protects your health and wellbeing. Play and fun are productive because they fuel your passion and joy and boost your mood. They inspire your creativity and provide a beautiful way to connect with your loved ones. If you're so inclined, things like journalling, reading for pleasure, drawing, daydreaming, meditating and taking time to sit in the garden can all be productive because they are important ingredients in a well rounded, intentional life and they help you function well. It's time we redefined productivity to value all the things that help us operate in the best way possible. See more

04.01.2022 One of the things I have been learning at an even deeper level in 2020 is letting go. This year has challenged us in new ways and finding peace may have been easier in some ways, and much more difficult in others. I've found that by practicing letting go over and over, I've managed to come through relatively calm, content and grounded. This doesn't mean that parts of it weren't very challenging, but that I've been able to work through those challenges and move on.... 5 things have really helped me ride through the emotions of letting go this year, and I'd love to share them with you so you can use them yourself! Read about letting go here: https://www.moretomum.com.au/2020/12/22/letting-go/

04.01.2022 Have you registered for this yet? There are lots of great self-care topics to learn and it's starting VERY soon, so find out more and register via the post below!

04.01.2022 We often see self care or doing anything for ourselves as selfish or taking away from our ability to give to others. However, if you continue to give and give and give to others, without ever giving to yourself, you'll eventually end up burned out and resentful, with nothing left to give to anyone. When you take care of your own wellbeing you have so much more to give. You are more patient, calm, energetic, happy and present. ... Your family needs you to be well. YOU need you to be well. You deserve to be well and while your family are an excellent reason to invest in yourself, you don't need that reason to justify it. YOU are enough of a reason. Either way, investing in yourself benefits everyone.

04.01.2022 The day he was in a bubble... Or is it a force field? We know ourselves better than anyone else but yet we can be shattered by what others say about us.... Sometimes people say things about us that we know aren't true. When people make judgements about our parenting or the way we manage our lives they are forming their opinion on the tiny fraction of our lives that they see. People can't see our inner worlds or truly understand what it is like to walk in our shoes. We need to be grounded in what we know to be true. When I first taught my son about dealing with hurtful and untrue comments from others, I explained that he has a protective bubble around him and he could let those comments bounce right off it. Of course, he turned it into a force field. Much more exciting. Either way, we get to choose what we let into our bubble or force field and the rest can fall away, not damaging our self-belief, confidence or conviction. What are you letting into your bubble? See more

03.01.2022 It's all about priorities. So many of us feel like there's never enough time in the day. But the time we have will never expand and everyone has the same amount of time to work with. Instead of thinking you don't have enough time, try focusing on this more supportive belief: I have enough time to do the things that are important. What can you let go, delay, delegate, or do to a lesser (yet still acceptable) standard?... What's MOST important to you? What are you currently doing that's not that important to you or that's no longer serving you? It is possible to feel like you're on top of things most of the time without sacrificing your wellbeing. Is this something you'd like to figure out? (P.S. If you want to explore this further, it's something I LOVE to help my clients with. Send me a message!)

03.01.2022 Good mums are supposed to sail through motherhood, with everything under control and smiles on their faces. Right? This isn't reality. We all have bad days. ... Bad days don't make bad mums but they are part of life for good mums. What do you do when you have a bad day? Do you push those uncomfortable feelings aside and push on? Do you take it out on the people around you and later regret it? Do you get intentional about looking after yourself? Later this week, over on the blog, I'll be sharing some practical strategies that will help you tackle those bad days. What do you do when you have a bad day?

03.01.2022 I love a good magazine and I'm so excited to be a contributor in the upcoming issue of Positive Wellbeing Zine for Mums by Isabella and Us. This magazine is beautiful and calm, and is the perfect little book of positivity, inspiration, real advice and love, that even fits in your handbag for when you get a sneaky moment to read. All the articles are carefully selected and focused on looking after yourself. I wrote about how your body can help you make the right decisions a...nd stay true to yourself. This issue will be out in November, and if you'd like to get your hands on a copy, you can pre-order now: https://isabellaandus.com/positive-wel/selfcarezine-issue10

02.01.2022 In lockdown, one of my favourite things has been to take a walk with my son after we finish his school work. Sometimes we walk along hand in hand, sometimes he rides his scooter or bike. If he's lucky, we'll find some puddles for him to splash in, catch a glimpse of our local possum curled up in his tree home or see a train go past. There's just something about wandering around in the fresh air, with nowhere in particular to go, admiring flowers and listening to the birds th...at is so, so nourishing. And doing it together is particularly nice (even with the fleeting moments of complaining about how long we've been out or how much of a workout he's doing ). We always come home with a new leaf, feather, rock or flower to add to the nature collection. What are you enjoying at the moment

02.01.2022 New Blog Post Ever feel like you’re getting this self-care thing wrong? Not doing enough or doing too much.... Not wanting to do it, not enjoying it enough or doing it with so much guilt. Not being consistent, not sticking to your plans or not starting at all. Not doing the right things or not doing the things that everyone else is doing. Feeling like you don’t deserve it anyway. Ugh. The pressure. Isn’t there enough pressure in motherhood? In this week's blog, I'm exploring why self-care feels so hard, and why it feels like it's another thing we have to get right. Then, I offer the alternative choice. The one where self-care is manageable, flexible and without pressure. The one where your success, worthiness, priorities and achievements are not in question. You get to have your needs met, just as the people you are caring for do. https://www.moretomum.com.au//09/16/self-care-get-it-right/

01.01.2022 When anticipating motherhood, we tend to focus on what it will bring us - the beautiful baby, the happy family moments, the joy and love. Once we have arrived, we start to feel that there might also be some things lost - for example, our sleep, our time to ourselves, our identity, our fitness, our social life. Both perspectives are valid and real. ... Life is different. You are different. Even though you might go back to work, fit into your pre-baby clothes and get back to the gym, things are not going to be the same. Sometimes you’ll feel like you love your new life, and other times you’ll wish you had your old life back. That certainly doesn’t mean you don’t love your children enough. But you can’t go back. While some of us see that as a loss, it’s actually an evolution of you. Now you are more, not less. What you are experiencing is matrescence. The complete transformation and identity shift that women embark on when they enter motherhood. It's not in your head. It's real. It's confusing and painful as well as joyful and full of possibilities. We crack open and unravel before we rebuild and emerge more whole than ever before. If you'd like to read more about matrescence, check out this blog: https://www.moretomum.com.au/2019/08/19/matressence/ AND watch out for an exciting announcement tomorrow about how you can explore your matrescence with me.

01.01.2022 My nearly 6 year old son and I were discussing a situation that hadn’t gone so well recently. He was telling me what the real problem was and why he had become so angry. I asked him what he might be able to do instead to help him solve the problem before he became so angry. He suddenly looked down. Can we stop talking about it? I’m feeling embarrassed.... Before I could answer, he started talking to himself. It’s ok. This is mummy. She’s kind and she loves me. It’s ok to make mistakes. She understands. His body relaxed and he got up off the floor and climbed onto my lap. She’s so snuggly he said. I hugged him and didn’t say a thing. I was actually blown away to hear that what I've been saying to him all this time IS going in. He had labelled his uncomfortable emotions, he was self compassionate and comforted himself and that allowed him to accept support from me (rather than lashing out as is the case at other times). He brought his thinking brain back online, rather than being ruled by his feelings and he managed his inner critic beautifully. It's been a long process to get here and it doesn't end like this most of the time (although this gives me great hope that it will one day!). At times the tension he holds within his little body brings me to tears, because I want so badly for him to know how to deal with and release those feelings. There are so many messages in this for us. If you’re trying to teach your children how to manage their big emotions, hang in there, stay the course, it takes time but every time you talk about it and demonstrate it (even though it feels like you’re talking about it nonstop) is helping. Our kids are amazing. I love moments that highlight this. To fully accept compassion and support from others, we need to extend compassion and support to ourselves. Even though our uncomfortable feelings are so real and valid, the fears behind them are often based on things that will not happen. My son wanted acceptance and to know he is good enough. He feared that what he had done might cause rejection, but he reminded himself that I love him always and will be kind and understanding. We can talk to our inner critic, acknowledging her, but not letting her run the show. We get to choose what we believe and we don't have to believe what she says. Lastly, it's ok to make mistakes, mumma. It really is. Which of these speaks to you most right now? : A flashback that I love. Clearly I'm not in Hawaii right now, but I sure would like to be (without COVID of course).

01.01.2022 There are a lot of expectations on mothers. I know you often feel the pressure. It makes us feel like we have to keep going and going, push harder and do more. ... It's exhausting. We're so busy with so many things to do, that there's no time to stop and recharge, or take some time out for ourselves. So exhausting. We can't keep going on and on, pushing harder and doing more. It eventually leads to burnout, illness, unhappiness and resentment. The time we need self care the most, is when we don't feel like we have time for it. Later this week, over on the blog, I'm going to be exploring how to self care can be flexible, manageable and enjoyable. Not just another thing to do. Not another thing to get right. But something that really fits in your life, makes a difference and is worth it. Do you find it hard to look after yourself in the midst of everything you're doing?