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25.01.2022 "Historically, mothers have had a key role in building and maintaining connections across generations. Even today, they are most often the "kinkeepers" in famil...ies and take the lead in passing down family stories, life lessons, and traditions. Honoring this role of mothers is part of the story behind Mother's Day but not all of it. Many people may believe Mother's Day was developed as a commercial holiday by Hallmark or some other company to sell cards, candy, and flowers. Or, they may believe it's a day solely to celebrate the domestic role of women in the home and family. Neither of these perceptions is accurate. Our consumerist market may have fueled the commercialism around the holiday, and the role of mothers in families is indeed important, but Mother's Day is not only about honoring a woman's devotion to her own family. The history of the day has its roots in honoring the broader networks, social ties, and political concerns of women. The day is about women's commitment to the past, present, and future at both the personal and political levels. It honors women who have acted not only on behalf of their own children but also on behalf of an entire future generation." legacy project.org I'm currently researching the origins of Mother's Day and looking at how Mothering is celebrated around the world. As we approach this significant date in the calendar (in 2017, the expected spending for Mother's Day in the US was $23 billion), I'm keen to know - how do you celebrate Mother's Day? I acknowledge that this day can come with difficult emotions and complexity for many people, and I am curious to know whether people are satisfied with the level of meaning and tradition around Mother's Day, or whether as a culture we can do better? #mothersday #motherhood #matrilineal #tradition #sacred #mothering #matrescence #mothermorphosis #celebration #honouring #ritual #postnatal #wellbeing #culture

24.01.2022 The Hormones of Post Birth, Breast Feeding and Weaning (Trigger Warning: This article could possibly be triggering for anyone with trauma related to Birth and P...ostpartum) It goes without saying that hormones play a huge part in pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding. It is important to be aware that these hormones can also have a huge influence on a Mother’s mood and emotional wellbeing. Even though every Mother is different, it can be useful to understand what can happen and be better prepared for some of the effects of these fluctuating hormones, for the sake of your own planning, or in order to provide support to someone you know. Let’s examine some of the implications of hormones on a Mother, at some especially precarious times in her journey: Firstly, just after giving birth, and secondly, as she weans her child off breast feeding. Post-Birth It is a well known fact that a Mother will experience a massive production of hormones during pregnancy, thanks to the placenta, to orchestrate the incredible feat that is taking place in her body, creating the environment for growing a baby and preparing the body for giving birth. She will also receive an impressive upgrade to her brain, which includes not only hormone receptors for oxytocin and possibly oestrogen, but also many new neurons and improved circuit function within various parts of the brain. You can read more about the Upgrade of Motherhood in my book The Postnatal Depletion Cure. After these 40 weeks of a massively increased and altered landscape of hormonal production, then comes the onset of labour. A Mother’s body is flooded with endorphins and enkephalins and other feel-good things, that together with the oxytocin can assist with the pain of child birth and also make her forget any negative associations. This is Nature’s way of ensuring that in time, she can revisit the pregnancy and birthing space again. So, in terms of hormones, what happens in a woman’s body after she has given birth? Very abruptly, with the placenta gone from the body, and all the hormones of birth having run their course, it is like the body is suddenly and quite rudely, tuned to a different radio frequency or signal. The mother will inevitably go through a sharp hormone withdrawl, when all her hormones can go to absolute zero. This has been greatly underplayed and dismissed in our culture as an emotional few days known as the baby blues where Mum feels weepy and vulnerable. However, even though things do mostly right themselves again once breastfeeding gets underway, for that small window of time, its more accurate to think about what is going on as a drug withdrawl. Just as an addict coming off their drug can have a very volatile time, a Mother coming down off hormones after birth can feel absolutely terrible, with disorientation, lethargy and a general feeling of intense vulnerability. She can experience physical aches, heaviness, shortness of breath, agitation and dizziness. Sometimes this can be related to and exacerbated by preceding iron deficiency or significant blood loss with the birth. A Mother can feel as though she has been completely opened up giving birth, physically and energetically, her heart can feel wide open, which can lead to extreme feelings of vulnerability and confusion. She can feel isolated, confused and a sense of spiralling. I have my baby, I thought I would be feeling happy? Why do I feel so terrible?! She might also have difficulty sleeping and have anxious thoughts and fears. This is taking place at the same time as massive healing in the body, whether her baby’s birth was by caesarean or vaginal birth, she will be feeling very tender and sore. She may have had stitches, an anaesthetic, or syntocin with an induced labour. If there has been any trauma associated with the birth, (one in four Mothers according to the stats), this is another factor that will greatly compound the weight of what she is feeling. Furthermore, if there are troubles starting breast feeding, or stress that things are not going well, eg her baby might be in special care; if there is any medicalisation or complications in that post-birth time, these can all definitely hinder the rescue team of oxytocin and prolactin, which are intended to fill the gap until the Mother’s hormones come back on line. It can only be described as a massively precarious time. This is the reason why many traditional cultures so rationally employ specific post partum practices (that I also describe in my book) that are designed to keep a Mother feeling very supported, soothed and held by her community. She is kept in bed, fed highly nourishing food, and encouraged to focus purely on her baby. Meanwhile things are happening around her in a very thoughtful and non-intrusive manner that not only provides the physical and emotional support she needs for hormonal recovery but provide also a sense of safety and security. Most cultures practice this for at least 30 days, but a Fourth Trimester for recovery post-birth is what I would recommend to any woman for the best chances of total recovery and to really establish her on the path of Matrescence. Western women more and more are employing the services of a Midwife or Postnatal Doula, and getting extra support for themselves in the days after birth, to create and manage this supportive container around themselves as much - and for as long - as possible. Weaning Again, when a Mother weans her child off the breast, she can experience an emotional and fragile time, due to the changes in the hormone production. The two main hormones associated with breastfeeding are prolactin and oxytocin. The prolactin, as the name suggests, is released prior to breastfeeding to allow production of breast milk. Even though prolactin is made in the body for other things, it is the cyclical swings of prolactin that are only seen with breast feeding: as the prolactin goes up, the milk production goes up along with that. The combination of oxytocin and prolactin from breast feeding can greatly assist the Mother in feeling good and stable especially in the early postnatal time. As the child gets older, breast feeding becomes less for nutrition and more for the skin to skin / mother to child contact and the soothing effect that this co-regulation has. Weaning is best if it is done gradually, over time. Many Mothers are relieved to let go of the night feeds first, especially if she has had a difficult time with sleep deprivation. Night weaning will be the first steps towards getting some uninterrupted sleep and teaching her baby some other methods of self-soothing. A useful tip I have heard from mothers to assist in night weaning is to place tape over the nipples at bed time with some skin friendly tape. This allows the child to snuggle and get the skin to skin contact for soothing. Because older infants tend not to be hungry, they more easily lose interest in breastfeeding as the real intention often for breastfeeding at night time is the soothing that helps them get back to sleep. Eventually, when the time is right (different for everyone) - most professional bodies recommend exclusive breastfeeding up to 6 months, the World Health Organisation recommends up to 2 years, some go longer than that - she will stop breastfeeding altogether. Something that desperately needs increased awareness and conversation, is how difficult and emotional it can be when a Mother finishes breast feeding. For a woman who not prepared, it can be like an emotional pothole on the road at a critical time when she is re-establishing her sense of Self. As breastfeeding stops and the production of hormones drops, she may again experience feelings of sadness and instability. In addition, what often happens is that she might feel the need to consciously avoid skin to skin contact in order to not confuse her child, which can add to her feelings of loss and separation. A Mother will commonly go through a prolactin and oxytocin withdrawl, for around 3 days after stopping breast feeding. She can feel down, uncertain, fragile, destabilised. She can even experience a brief plunge into dark melancholia, along with this hormone adjustment. She may often feel she has made the wrong decision in stopping the breast feeding and feel deep self-doubt on many levels. Breast engorgement can also be problematic, especially if going from a few feeds a day to stopping too quickly. Ideally, weaning will happen slowly, even dropping to every second day, before stopping completely to reduce the pressure and the risk of Mastitis. The process of Weaning off breastfeeding is an IMPORTANT thing for Mothers to be aware of and talk to other Mothers about. Be prepared, find a window of three days with nothing to do, so you can have some space to really feel into this significant transition. Not all mothers experience problems, but it is important to be forewarned. Again, at this time, it can be a good idea to seek out extra support for yourself. Remember that oxytocin comes from human connection, so try to increase the number of hugs and body contact with other people during that time. Or factor in some extra self care, whatever it is you like to do for yourself. It can be comforting to know, that the child is fairly unfazed by weaning, and nothing more than a bit grumpy (they don’t experience any hormone withdrawl)! It is usually way harder for the mum.

23.01.2022 Did you know that in some traditional cultures postpartum women are given a massage every single day for the first forty days of motherhood. Luxurious? Nope. A ...valuable and under utilised healing tool? Yes! Receiving a massage will help your body heal, boost your oxytocin and untangle any tight, sore bits. All whilst you’re busy resting. I offer bodywork for new mothers in Melbournes inner North. I come to you, no organising a baby sitter or wrangling the baby capsule, I come to your own home. I was doing this yesterday. Caring for a very lovely 3 week old newborn mother body. This mama received ‘closing the bones’ which is a traditional Mexican practice of rocking and wrapping a mother to help ground and sooth her after the intense and sometimes overwhelming experience of giving birth. This mama said she loooooved being able to receive her treatment at home whilst her partner cuddled their baby. I also offer Shiatsu treatments which are a Japanese style of acupressure massage. Shiatsu is done fully clothed on a mat on the floor and is very restorative, especially for an incredible body that’s just given birth. And of course bodywork is a key part of the postpartum support packages I offer to new mothers in Melbourne! Pm for details, or head to my website to find out more, here’s a link https://bearingwonder.com. #motheringthemother #postpartumdoula #postnataldoula #showupforpostpartum #takebackpostpartum #mothersmatter #closingthebones #postpartumshiatsu #prepareforpostpartum #postnatalbodylove #postpartumrecovery #expectingababy #mumsandbubsmelbourne

22.01.2022 Awareness allows us to acknowledge our thoughts, not become them.

21.01.2022 Graphic credit: MummyCon #mummycon

21.01.2022 The Super-Mum has to be one of the most harmful and outrageous stereotypes held up to modern women to try to emulate. Does this stereotype aid the cause for t...he liberation of women do you think? When we look at the rapidly escalating health problems we are facing globally, why is it that so many women feel guilty if they are not achieving on a daily basis? Why do so many of us find it so hard to prioritise rest and self-care? Are YOU aware of this program running in you, and if so, where do you think it comes from? #importantconversation #Repost @alexandrasacksmd with @make_repost @kimothy.joy : For many mothers, it’s frustrating when basic goals and chores become out of reach, let alone loftier goalsespecially right now, when all the rules have gone out the door during the coronavirus pandemic and lockdown. If you’re a mom who is trying to squeeze in an early morning workout before your baby wakes up, join in every Zoom meeting looking like you went into the office, to get your kid to learn or do as much as they do at daycare, preschool etc, to never order take-out or let dishes pile up in the sink, the odds are you’re in a battle with time and yourself that you can’t win. I’ve heard some mothers who planned to use the lockdown to accomplish a dream project (renovating the house and garden; making sure the kids are reading and learning the piano) and been frustrated when those plans don’t pan out. Many women come to me feeling exhausted as if they’ve been in a battle, and I realize they’ve been fighting with themselves which is a hallmark of guilt and shame. When moms hold tight to an idealized vision of what they can accomplish in a day, they may project their disappointment and anger at themselves onto their babies. One woman told me that she yelled at her baby for throwing up right after they left the house because we didn’t have time to go back home and start all over again. But when she caught herself blaming her baby for, well, being a baby, she not only felt disappointed for the hours lost, she felt ashamed of her own misdirected frustration. Continued in comments

18.01.2022 LOVE this! #Repost @research4moms with @make_repost Take care of yourself, mama! . .... . #selfcare #boundaries #matrescence #transformation #healing #code See more

18.01.2022 Back handed compliment ? Happy Valentines Day !

14.01.2022 This book is an incredible gift to the world. Thankyou @glennondoyle, I’ll be prescribing this medicine to all my patients . I began to live as a woma...n who never got the world’s memos. I burned the memo that defined selflessness as the pinnacle of womanhood. But first I forgave myself for believing that lie for so long. I had abandoned myself out of love. They’d convinced me that the best way for a woman to love her partners, family and community was to lose herself in service to them. In my desire to be of service I did myself and the world a great disservice. I’ve seen what happens out the world and inside of ourselves when women stay numb, obedient, quiet and small. Selfless women make for an efficient society but not a beautiful true or just one. When women lose themselves the world loses its way. We do not need more selfless women. What we need right now is women who have detoxed themselves so completely, from the world’s expectations that they are full of nothing but themselves. What we need are women who are FULL of themselves. A woman who is full of herself knows and trusts herself enough to say and do what must be done. She lets the rest burn. I burned the memo that responsible motherhood is martyrdom. I decided that the call of motherhood is to become a model, not a martyr. I unbecame a woman dying slowly in her children’s name and became a responsible mother, one who shows her children how to be fully alive. #untamed #matrescence #transformation #rise #evolve #heal #wild #free #motherhood #livefully #postnatal

14.01.2022 My 11 year old son shared this post with me, via one of his idols @chadwickboseman, who shared it on #IWD. It is an incredible thing when we can globally - irre...spective of gender - get behind the notion that we ALL benefit if women are supported, well and thriving - for each other, for our families, for our communities... women are the threads that bind us all together. . . . #womenrise #iwd #matrescence #matrilineal #futureisfeminine #sacredfeminine #maternalvalues #consciousness #evolution #healing #thepostnataldepletioncure See more

14.01.2022 From one Postpartum doula to another. Love

13.01.2022 Happy Friday to mamas everywhere. #Repost @mamadisrupt with @make_repost A good mum has bad days & great days & normal days & overwhelming days & perfec...t days & trying days & supermum days & just being a mum days & a whole lot of love & real & crazy motherhood days. ~Rachel Martin #mamadisrupt @jessicajanesammut See more

13.01.2022 Love this! . . .... #Repost @spacetoflow with @make_repost For those mothers who are maybe feeling a little overwhelmed, irritable, exhausted and are maybe raising their voices a little more than they would have hoped. You’re not supposed to be perfect and you are not alone. Just stop and take three deep belly breaths. Tap into your parasympathetic nervous system and access that calm state within even just for a moment . . . #rest #relax #healing #surrender #motherhood #matrescence #transformation #postnataldepletion #postnatalwellbeing

08.01.2022 sharing some take what you need

08.01.2022 Beginner swimming lessons Mamas, ever felt your kiddo moving and wonder what they were doing?!?!? This. This is what they do. Occasionally during C-section t...he sac is not broken and you can see an outside view of the sac and amniotic fluid intact. #coolestthingihaveeverseen

02.01.2022 What a powerful image

01.01.2022 More inspiration from @glennondoyle - This profound quote is referenced in her latest book #untamed Ultimately, all Mothers on a path of deep healing will come ...face to face with the Motherwound. In the story of #Untamed, I believe Glennon gifts us an incredibly deep and vivid description of what the Motherwound is, as well as a generous and human story of the unravelling and transformation which occurs through the healing of that wound. Can’t recommend this book highly enough, for anyone, but especially for a deeper understanding of the complex psychology of Mothers. It is brilliant. . . . #untamed #motherwound #matrescence #motherhood #transformation #healing #postnatalrecovery #wellbeing #purpose See more