Natajsa Wagner Psychotherapy in Ashgrove, Queensland | Public figure
Natajsa Wagner Psychotherapy
Locality: Ashgrove, Queensland
Phone: +61 7 3186 5638
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24.01.2022 Nietzsche poses a curious thought experiment in 'Thus spoke Zarathustra' which asks us to consider how we currently live. It reads... "What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or ...great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequenceeven this spider and this moonlight between the trees, and even this moment and I myself. The eternal hourglass of existence is turned upside down again and again, and you with it, speck of dust!' "Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.' If this thought gained possession of you, it would change you as you are or perhaps crush you. The question in each and every thing, 'Do you desire this once more and innumerable times more?' would lie upon your actions as the greatest weight. Or how well disposed would you have to become to yourself and to life?" Nietzche's asks us to consider the idea of eternal recurrence. If you had to live your life over and over, each moment, each challenge, each joy - would you be glad or would you be filled with dread? This thought experiment can give us pause and help us to consider what we might like to change in our life, what do we put on hold and what stops us from living in a way we truly desire. If you must live your life over and over, would you want to?
23.01.2022 One quarter of Australians will experience an anxiety in their lifetime; 26.3% of Australians aged 16 to 85 have experienced an anxiety ‘disorder’ This is equivalent to 4.96 million people today. So how can we help support people who experience anxiety? What we say can have a positive or negative impact. 1 Aim to normalise feelings of stress - they are not alone and are going through a human experience.... 2 Telling someone with anxiety to stop will make them feel that what they are feeling is wrong, instead, ensuring they don't feel alone in their overwhelm may be more helpful 3 Asking what we can do to help, or what they need in that moment These are just a few things we can keep in mind when compassionately supporting a friend, colleague, family member in a moment of anxiety. #psychotherapy #brisbanetherapist #counselling #counseling #connection #community #wellness #spirituality #selfawareness #therapy #psychology #healing #growth #support #reflections #healing #selfesteem #identity #selflove #gestalttherapy #psychotherapist #mentalhealth #consciousness #mindfulness #quote #human #authenticity #selfdiscovery #anxiety
22.01.2022 Theres a word people often overlook when it comes to the emotional challenges that they face, particularly in relationships. That word is trauma. Simply put, trauma happens when our nervous system is responding to a perceived threat and our normal coping mechanisms are overwhelmed.... Trauma that happens in relationship and that is repeated is called complex trauma and it changes our brain and our ways of relating to others. the word trauma might sound strange or you might feel like it doesnt apply to you, yet its important to know that trauma is NOT just about a major life-threatening event, again it happens in relation to perceived threat anytime our nervous system is overwhelmed. So pause for a moment and perhaps acknowledge, that trauma happens. 1 in 4 Australians has experienced complex trauma. Lets stop minimizing our own and other peoples pain which may actually also be trauma. Trauma is significant, what happened is significant and we do not just get over trauma. We need safety, support, healing and a place to make meaning, and that path is not a straight or simple one. lets stop dismissing pain and start healing trauma. See more
21.01.2022 What is a secure attachment? When a child has experienced secure attachment with a caregiver they have experienced a level of empathy, bonding and reflection. This experience enables children to ‘borrow’ their caregivers pre-frontal cortex, so to speak as they learn how to regulate emotions like fear, anxiety, anger and shame and they begin to experience themselves as being seen and accepted as well as a sense of identity.... Children who are securely attached generally become upset when their caregivers leave and are happy when they return. They will also look for comfort from their caregivers when they feel distressed or afraid. When a child has experienced secure attachment they are able to develop a sense of confidence that their caregiver will be responsive when needed in times of distress. Research has shown that most functions of the pre-frontal cortex are outcomes of secure attachment and that all functions of the pre-frontal cortex are strengthened in mindfulness practice (Graham, 2010). The form of attachment will establish the template with which a child will construct their future relationships with others, develop a sense of security about exploring the world, to develop resilience to stress and the ability to balance emotions, make sense of their life, and creates meaningful interpersonal relationships. A secure attachment will provide the best foundation for these developments. You can read more about attachment on my blog here: When a child has experienced secure attachment with a caregiver they have experienced a level of empathy, bonding and reflection. This experience enables children to ‘borrow’ their caregivers pre-frontal cortex, so to speak as they learn how to regulate emotions like fear, anxiety, anger and shame and they begin to experience themselves as being seen and accepted as well as a sense of identity. Children who are securely attached generally become upset when their caregivers leave and are happy when they return. They will also look for comfort from their caregivers when they feel distressed or afraid. When a child has experienced secure attachment they are able to develop a sense of confidence that their caregiver will be responsive when needed in times of distress. Research has shown that most functions of the pre-frontal cortex are outcomes of secure attachment and that all functions of the pre-frontal cortex are strengthened in mindfulness practice (Graham, 2010). The form of attachment will establish the template with which a child will construct their future relationships with others, develop a sense of security about exploring the world, to develop resilience to stress and the ability to balance emotions, make sense of their life, and creates meaningful interpersonal relationships. A secure attachment will provide the best foundation for these developments. You can read more about attachment here:https://www.natajsawagner.com//therapy-for-attachment-chal
20.01.2022 Emotions move like waves. Depending on the amount of support we have or feel around us there is this line (called shame) that stops the wave from breaking. As the wave rises it comes up and we shut it down or move away from it because it feels unacceptable, overwhelming or too much. ... What Ive found in working with people is that the wave crashes aka we feel and access our emotions to the degree what we have support for them. Little to no support = difficulty in managing, tolerating or expressing emotions. Yet a wave wont be held back forever. Rather than the wave of emotion having to break free and dunk us in the sand, it can be more supportive for us to acknowledge and lean into our emotions. A wise person once said - never turn your back to the sea, In the same way I say, never turn your back on your emotions. If you can relate to having difficulty tapping into or expressing your emotions there may be some work for you in learning how to access your emotions - with support. Overtime as we learn to work with our emotions. We can learn how to ride the wave of emotions and even see emotions for what they truly are - indicators of whats important. We can learn to honour our emotions and take care of ourselves in the process. Just as the ocean doesnt want to remove its waves, we also dont want to get rid of our emotions!
19.01.2022 Polyvagal theory has made massive contributions to therapy. The 10th cranial nerve is called the vagus, it has two branches call the ventral vagus and the dorsal vagus. The ventral vagus and dorsal vagus originate in different parts fo the body, have different pathways and functions throughout the body. Polyvagal theory looks at the hierarchy, or the three predictable pathways of response our autonomic nervous system has.... namely Ventral Vagal Sympathetic Nervous System Dorsal Vagal When a person feels safe and their body is healthy and functioning well they can enjoy a physiological state that allows good social engagement we can experience safety, connection, play and belonging. They are in their ventral vagal energy. When a persons sympathetic energy is engaged they are in a fight/flight energy a place of mobilization. Often people who have experienced trauma move into this state when triggered. The Dorsal vagal state is the place where we feel numb and collapsed, this is a place of immobilization. This diagram is a very brief snapshot of how we can use a polyvagal approach to map your nervous system. Please note ~This process is much more in-depth and should be completed with a therapist. . See more
18.01.2022 Different trauma responses require different resources. Different people also find that different things can feel more supportive than others. If you move into a place of Hypo-arousal or dissociation the focus is on reconnecting with the body and bringing movement in. This graphic has a few ideas you might like to discuss with your therapist!
17.01.2022 When looking to find a therapist to work with trauma its important to find a trauma-informed therapist who has knowledge and experience working with trauma-informed care principles and working with a 3 phase approach to treat trauma. The five trauma-informed care principles are: Safety Physical, emotional, environmental, cultural & systemic: A trauma counsellor will be looking at how to create an environment of safety that is welcoming, engaging and respectful. Part o...f ensuring safety is ensuring I support my clients to feel comfortable in the therapy space. Trustworthiness Clarity, consistency & interpersonal boundaries: A trauma counsellor will be looking to provide clear and consistent information around how they work. As well as communicating openly about the interpersonal boundaries of you work together. Collaboration maximising client choice and control: A trauma counsellor will focus on collaboration with you. They will create an opportunity for you to be a part of the planning and evaluation of your treatment. They will consult with you to ensure that your preferences are given due consideration. Choice Maximising collaboration and sharing power: A trauma counsellor will offer you a range of choices when working with your preferences around length of session, time of session and how you might like to be contacted. For me, its important that you have opportunities to make choices where possible. Empowerment prioritising empowerment and skills: A trauma counsellor works from a place of partnership vs working from the expert model of the therapist knowing it all. Trauma counselling is also about sharing power and actively recognising and supporting our client to develop this skill These principles identify what the person who has experienced trauma did not have at the time. See more
17.01.2022 #FINALCALL The Connection Circle 2020 Round 2. I currently have 1 x space left for the Connection Circle beginning on the 13th of July! The Connection Circle is my small group offering that allows you to work with me in an intimate group setting every 2 weeks across a 6 month period. If you are curious about process-orientated group therapy read on!... Being human means we are often in a group, whether thats our family, friends, school or work, and, many of us have not have been taught how to understand our, individuality, develop skills in communication and feel a sense of belonging in a group. If you have been curious about group work and would like to develop more self-awareness and understanding of yourself and your relationships this may be for you! Example topics you might like to explore in the group include: Difficulty communicating what you want Developing better social skills Understanding personal behaviours Feeling too shy to speak up Sitting with conflict without feeling the need to interject Difficulty expressing anger Lack of confidence or self-esteem Understanding relationship issues The Connection Circle May Help You: Gain a deeper understanding of your current relationship with yourself and others. Discover some of your patterns in relationships and how they impact on your family, partner, friendships or work. Learn how to create meaningful and authentic relationships with others. Develop self-awareness and being challenged to grow. Group participants have the opportunity to interact with others who face similar issues and discuss individual goals and challenges in a productive and inclusive environment conducive to interpersonal process work and honest inquiry. If you feel a resonance with this offering, then here is what to do next: Review The Connection Circle Offer at www.natajsawagner.com/connectioncircle and if this calls to you enter your details on the page to request an invite. Once you have requested an invite I will touch base with you 1:1 to organize a time to chat about the group, answer any questions you might have and discuss if group work would be a fit for you!
17.01.2022 Nietzsche poses a curious thought experiment in Thus spoke Zarathustra which asks us to consider how we currently live. It reads... "What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or ...great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequenceeven this spider and this moonlight between the trees, and even this moment and I myself. The eternal hourglass of existence is turned upside down again and again, and you with it, speck of dust! "Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine. If this thought gained possession of you, it would change you as you are or perhaps crush you. The question in each and every thing, Do you desire this once more and innumerable times more? would lie upon your actions as the greatest weight. Or how well disposed would you have to become to yourself and to life?" Nietzches asks us to consider the idea of eternal recurrence. If you had to live your life over and over, each moment, each challenge, each joy - would you be glad or would you be filled with dread? This thought experiment can give us pause and help us to consider what we might like to change in our life, what do we put on hold and what stops us from living in a way we truly desire. If you must live your life over and over, would you want to?
15.01.2022 Human 1st therapist 2nd... Research has shown that the therapeutic relationship between therapist and client is an important predictor of positive therapeutic outcomes. I believe the relationship we build with our clients is at the very heart of good therapy.... Neuroscience research shows us that the development of the therapeutic alliance increases neuroplasticity. Building this relational alliance allows the brain to resist the process of cortex dissociation, allowing clients to internalize and assimilate the relationship. This stimulates ongoing neuroplasticity growth which means the benefits experienced in the relative safety of the therapy room can also support people in their everyday life. Good therapy, however, is not about having a "perfect therapeutic relationship" or achieving perfect outcomes. As with all relationships, the relationship between therapist and client is not free from challenges and issues, nor would it be reasonable to expect it to be so. It is perhaps the very humanness of the therapeutic encounter that provides a rich opportunity for people to understand and experience themselves more deeply. In the dialogue and interaction between client and therapist, there is always the possibility of experiencing the ruptures that are an inevitable part of relationship. When we "get it wrong" or misunderstand the person we are with, we have the opportunity to repair the "tear" or the damage that was caused. When a therapist can engage in the process of repair with a client they are able to strengthen the therapeutic encounter and deepen trust. It is in the repair itself that our clients can experience deep healing as well as an emotional experience that may be new for them. Being able to embrace our humanness with our clients in this way is powerful. By bringing our authenticity, vulnerability and more of who we are into our interactions with our clients we show that we can accept ourselves as we are, foibles and all. In doing so, we support our clients to also accept themselves.
15.01.2022 There's a word people often overlook when it comes to the emotional challenges that they face, particularly in relationships. That word is trauma. Simply put, trauma happens when our nervous system is responding to a perceived threat and our normal coping mechanisms are overwhelmed.... Trauma that happens in relationship and that is repeated is called complex trauma and it changes our brain and our ways of relating to others. the word trauma might sound strange or you might feel like it doesn't apply to you, yet its important to know that trauma is NOT just about a major life-threatening event, again it happens in relation to perceived threat anytime our nervous system is overwhelmed. So pause for a moment and perhaps acknowledge, that trauma happens. 1 in 4 Australians has experienced complex trauma. Let's stop minimizing our own and other people's pain which may actually also be trauma. Trauma is significant, what happened is significant and we do not just get over trauma. We need safety, support, healing and a place to make meaning, and that path is not a straight or simple one. let's stop dismissing pain and start healing trauma. See more
14.01.2022 Ambivalent attachment If we look at ambivalent attachment we sometimes see that a parent or caregiver isn’t consistently available to the child. This can be seen in the case of caregivers who struggle with addiction. When the caregiver is in an altered state they are unavailable and when they are sober they may be able to engage. Sometimes this results in an over-involvement by the caregiver and a sense of enmeshment is seen. For the child, it is never really clear when t...he parent is going to be available. Similarly, for parents who experience high levels of anxiety, depression or trauma, there are going to be times when the child is not being responded to because it is difficult to securely attach or attend to the needs of your child when you are in highly dysregulated states. Unlike children who have avoidant attachment patterns these children do reach out for closeness, but they may be unsure and anxious about relationships. They may self-sabotage intimacy when people get close, which can feel confusing for them and those they are in relationship with. Their behaviour is often experienced as unreliable as they can move from bing available one moment and rejecting the next.
14.01.2022 What I often see in our world is that we have learned to dismiss the pain and suffering we experience from poor emotional health and psychological injury, imaging that emotional pain does not have a real and significant impact on our happiness and how we live our lives. This is a reminder that we cannot forget that emotional pain is experienced in the brain in the same way as physical pain. Just as we would not tell someone who had sustained a massive head injury and wa...s bleeding out to "Just get on with it" we should not be telling ourselves or others in emotional pain to "just get on with it". We need to stop dismissing our pain so we can actually heal it. See more
12.01.2022 Sharing an interview with the beautiful Deni Spirovski from Kandala Yoga. In this interview, I am speaking on the topic of self-compassion. Enjoy! https://youtu.be/B3H6tHB14iE
11.01.2022 I am with you... The ability to show someone that we are with them... Being with is...... Not having to fix anything Not giving advice when it isnt asked for Being present even in silence Listening to a persons pain Not moving away from pain Seeking to understand not minimise Honouring when there are no words Beign with sounds like... Tell me about your story.... What happened... Tell me more about that... Tell me about your feelings... Whats that like for you? How have you managed that? I have no words... You are not alone Often it is our ability to just be with someone, that is our greatest gift x
11.01.2022 Theres more to self-care than massages and facials! Here are a few ideas to get you thinking... Taking time for silence... Having a morning ritual Journalling Making and enjoying a tea Painting Drawing Sculpting Writing Gardening Singing Playing or listening to music Cooking food Coffee catch ups with friends Calling a friend Spending time with family Watching a movie Taking a day trip Swimming in the ocean Energy healing Seeing a therapist Grounding in nature Going for a hike Watching a sunset Cuddle with a pet Meditating Doing yoga Walking barefoot Exercising Mindful movement Rituals Ceremony Prayer Chanting Devotions Tell me whats your go-to self-care practice or which one would you like to try after reading this? See more
11.01.2022 Why Its OK to Grieve the Things You Had Planned in 2020 Sharing some of my thoughts for this article by TheLatch... Gone are the days of just meeting up for a quick beer or coffee without planning days in advance, hopping on a plane to Mykonos or even seeing family and friends across the state. Its been inconvenient. Its been rough. And everybody is feeling it.... With the second coming of the virus and the feeling of no end in sight, its OK if youre feeling a little flat. Its OK if youre angry that those plans you made last year have had to be cancelled or a life event, such as a wedding, has been postponed. You have every right to grieve. We often discount others by saying first world problem. If you complain about something that you have, and it has been taken away from you, it is OK to be feeling the grief that is left behind. This is not selfish behaviour and it is not uncommon. Read the rest by clicking the link below! https://thelatch.com.au/its-ok-to-grieve-2020/
11.01.2022 THERAPY IS FOR.... Therapy is for everyone. It's about good emotional health and well being. ... Therapy also helps with Self- awareness, confidence Building relationships with others Understanding ourselves Developing compassion Being adaptable Developing resilience Self reflection Insight & intuition + MORE! So if your wondering, YES, therapy is for everyone x Drop me a emoticon if you agree! Pic via my therapy space.
11.01.2022 I recently contributed to this story by the talented @samantha.alleman on how health awareness can turn into health anxiety. If you missed it in the News Corp Sunday paper you can check it out In the Wellness + magazine available across selected chemist warehouse stores nationally
11.01.2022 There's more to self-care than massages and facials! Here are a few ideas to get you thinking... Taking time for silence... Having a morning ritual Journalling Making and enjoying a tea Painting Drawing Sculpting Writing Gardening Singing Playing or listening to music Cooking food Coffee catch up's with friends Calling a friend Spending time with family Watching a movie Taking a day trip Swimming in the ocean Energy healing Seeing a therapist Grounding in nature Going for a hike Watching a sunset Cuddle with a pet Meditating Doing yoga Walking barefoot Exercising Mindful movement Rituals Ceremony Prayer Chanting Devotions Tell me what's your go-to self-care practice or which one would you like to try after reading this? See more
10.01.2022 The breath is a simple yet powerful resource that is often overlooked in therapy. An experiment for you to try is to start to become aware of your breath and body by placing two hands at the front of your rib cage. As you start to breathe, notice your ribs moving underneath your hands, become aware of what happens to your breath. ... As you pay attention to your breath notice the thoughts, feelings, sensations, movements or anything else that comes up. Has your breathing changed or has it stayed the same? What is it like to connect with your body and breath? What thoughts, emotions, sensations, movements or images do you expereince? Say hello to the wisdom and intelligence of your body when it speaks!
10.01.2022 Vicarious resilience is a term that has been around since about 2007 and it is an important skill for clinicians to develop as well as anyone who may be in helping role, that may be exposed to trauma material. Vicarious resilience is the idea that by focusing on the challenges a person has overcome, the small wins, the strengths we see in others and what has been accomplished we can develop more resilience. Vicarious resilience is a protective factor against vicarious t...rauma. Vicarious resilience is not about taking away form a persons challenge or suffering. Each persons story is valid and important, it is about acknowledging strength, courage, change and possibility as a way to buffer against the impacts of vicarious trauma (the trauma helpers can be exposed to as part of the empathic engagement with someone who has experienced and survived trauma). See more
10.01.2022 Reparenting is a way we can repair our attachment wounds and develop a more secure and healthy relationship with ourselves. It is a way of meeting the needs that were unmet when we were children. This may show up as a critical inner narrative, lack of passion or purpose, feelings lost, making decisions to please, impress or get love from others, distrust in the intentions of others, being overly judgmental and critical of others, unhealthy relationship patterns and lack ...of boundaries. Reparenting cultivates the compassionate, kind inner voice that creates space for openness and awareness. Ways we can reparent ourselves may look like: Keeping a small promise to ourselves each day Being compassionate with ourselves Recognising when we abandon our feelings or needs, or prioritise the feelings and needs of others over our own Becoming aware of our own boundary requirements and how to communicate them Learning what our needs and feelings are and communicating them safely #psychotherapy #brisbanetherapist #counselling #counseling #connection #community #attachmenttheory #spirituality #selfawareness #therapy #psychology #healing #growth #support #reflections #healing #selfesteem #identity #selflove #gestalttherapy #psychotherapist #developmentaltrauma #consciousness #attachmentparenting #authenticity #internalfamilysystems #reparenting #innerchild #childhoodtraumasurvivor #childhoodtraumahealing See more
09.01.2022 Perhaps its time for a songversation. Have a listen to remember to remember the truth of who we are. India Aries voice and these beautiful ladies = amazing live <3 https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1319922098211394
09.01.2022 Our words are powerful. Whilst we can all work on our own reactivity to others we can also work on language that takes care of ourselves and others. This image is a snap shot that looks at validation vs invalidation in our relationships.... Its an important reminder on how we can make each other feel heard. See more
09.01.2022 Perhaps it's time for a songversation. Have a listen to remember to remember the truth of who we are. India Aries voice and these beautiful ladies = amazing live <3 https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1319922098211394
08.01.2022 How does your headline read today? #Repost Sometimes I want to stop. Talk of covid, protests, looting, brutality. I lose my way. Become convinced that this new normal is real life. But then I meet an 87 yr old man who talks of living through polio, diphtheria, Vietnam, protests and yet is still enchanted with life. He seemed surprised when I said that 2020 must be especially challenging for him.... No he said slowly looking me straight in the eyes, I learned a long time ago to not see the world through printed headlines. I see the world through the people that surround me. I see the world through the realization that we love big. Therefore, I just choose to write my own headlines. Husband loves wife today. Family drops everything to come to grandmas bedside. He patted me on the hand, Old man makes new friend. His words collide with my worries, freeing them from the tether I had been holding tight. They float away. I am left with a renewed spirit. My headline now reads Woman overwhelmed by the spirit of kindness and the reminder that our capacity to love is never-ending. .... Writer of these words unknown. I found them via Tina Browne Hart and Rand Snyderman. These words touched my heart, I hope they touch yours too x
08.01.2022 Avoidant attachment If we look at avoidant attachment, we see this develop when a primary caretaker is dismissive, emotionally, or physically. A caretaker may be somewhat unavailable or unwilling to attend to a child’s Neeson, they might be disengaged when the child reaches out or they might ridicule or reject the child. ... As a consequence, the child learns that they cant rely upon others to meet their attachment needs and attempts to meet those needs themselves. Often times, the child can be lost more in their own inner world and avoids emotional connection. Children who develop and avoidant attachment style can appear physically and emotionally distant and are more comfortable with distance in relationships. They may also appear as adults as people who are more self-centered and unresponsive to others. If you are interested in attachment styles you can read more about attachment here: https://www.natajsawagner.com//therapy-for-attachment-chal
08.01.2022 Compassion is often thought of as being nice or kind, but it is so much more than this. Compassion is also about protecting and defending one another, its at the heart of what it means to be human and crucial to our survival and evolution. One of the benefits of compassion is that it allows us to inhibit some of the fear circuity in our brains. By accessing our compassion we help our nervous system learn how to tolerate some of the challenging or difficult things that cau...se pain. We also activate the caregiving and reward circuitry in our brains, which means we may still feel fear and stress, but our caregiving ability increases. In this way, compassion is much like courage. There are four specific ways that the act of compassion can support and benefit us. Compassion inhibits fear and activates our courage Compassion shifts some of the dynamics in our brains allowing us to manage difficult emotions Compassion changes the body through the vagus nerve and helps lower stress Compassion improves emotional health and psycho-social functioning When our compassion is activated we start to become aware that something is wrong. That little alarm sounds in our brain indicating that something is not right. If we lean into our compassion, we begin to feel a sense of connectedness and care. Compassion is the skill that allows us to turn towards our own or another persons suffering or pain and not be overwhelmed with it. Compassion transforms our stress responses so that in the future instead of avoiding or escaping painful emotions or challenges we are more able to address and deal with what comes up as well as find reliance to recover from setbacks. In our willingness to turn towards suffering we invoke courage. We are willing to be present with pain, suffering and challenge because we believe that we can transform a terrible situation into something we can work with. The added benefit of compassion is that when we activate our compassion we receive a warm energy or afterglow. This is that activated state of courage that supports us to be with distress and is why caring for others also feels good! See more
08.01.2022 When we feel panic we can look to the body to see the building blocks that make up feelings of panic. From the left-hand side of this image, you can see what panic might look and feel like...the right-hand side shows you how to shift from panic to a more relaxed state through using your body. Working to tune into the body and building somatic resources is an important part of managing our emotional wellbeing and stress responses, particularly when it comes to trauma.
08.01.2022 A codependent relationship is characterised by one person relying on the other person to meet nearly all of their emotional and self-esteem needs. There is often a feeling of relying on others for approval, validation and a sense of your own identity. You may be in a codependent relationship if... ... You feel like you use all your energy and or sacrifice your needs for your partner's needs It is difficult to say no to your partner when they make demands You feel trapped in your relationship You keep quiet to avoid arguments You place a low priority on your own needs and are more focused on the needs of others. You cover your partner's problems with drugs, alcohol or the law Codependence begins early on in our families of origin and may have also been a survival strategy. When children lack a positive parental relationship they will it challenging to develop a self-confidence a feeling of autonomy and knowledge that they can be successful in their endeavours as well as be accepted by others for who they are. Children often take develop learned behaviours due to the overt or unspoken 'rules' or 'lessons' they learned in their family. You may have been taught: You don't talk about problems or feelings You need to just deal with problems You need to work hard and always strive for more You need to do better/achieve perfection (unrealistic expectations) You don't express feelings or emotions You do as your told even if I don't do the things I tell you to Understanding these patterns and working with a therapist can help you to regain control and autonomy over your life, develop healthier, happier relationship dynamics and a sense of yourself.
08.01.2022 Gaslighting can be so subtle that we might not even notice it when we are first exposed to it. When someone is trying to control a conversation and situation through blame, judgment or dismissiveness you might hear comments like those pictured. Gaslighting happens when we undermine a persons emotions and feelings is a way to deny their reality. ... When we consistently invalidate how someone feels about a situation, we are effectively dismissing their perceptions of what is happening and telling them they are wrong. when in fact, what that person is feeling or experiencing is real for them, even if we might not be able to relate to it. When we are experiencing gaslighting we can start to doubt ourselves and feel out of control. Sometimes the other person can be unaware of how they are interacting because it has become their normal way of relating and they havent been called out on it before. Sometimes its possible to take the first step towards addressing this behaviour and reclaiming control by letting the other person know that you are the person most equipped to talk about your own thoughts and feelings and that you are only sharing how it is for you. If the other person is not willing or unable to listen its ok to step away. You can do so with grace and respect by reflecting back your understanding of what matters to them and then excusing yourself from the conversation. This is practicing good emotional self-care and respect for your own boundaries. I still get thrown off guard at times when I experience gaslighting. Communicating with respect and assertiveness in the moment can be challenging, it requires self-awareness, compassion, empathy and a solid sense of ourselves. I am grateful for these moments though, as they always allow me to reflect and grow. Have you navigated a challenging conversation, where you have had to draw on your resources of empathy, peace, and compassion?
08.01.2022 ON DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS & TRUTH TELLING... Inherent in sharing and speaking our truths is the courage not to abandon ourselves. So often the most difficult conversations we shy away from at the ones that involve us being truly honest. ...Continue reading
07.01.2022 Loving-kindness practice supports us in cultivating deeper feelings of peace, love and gratitude. Try this practice over the next few days and see how you feel. 1. Sit comfortably with your eyes closed.... 2. Visualize yourself in a place where you feel safe and connected. Think of a place that makes you feel happy. Take a moment to tune in and say out loud or in your mind I wish for happiness, calm, and peace for myself. Now visualize someone you care about and say: I wish for happiness, calm, and peace for you. Now visualize someone you feel neutral aboutsomeone you neither like nor dislike, and say: I wish for happiness, calm, and peace for you. Now think of someone you dont like and say: I wish you happiness, calm, and peace. Finally, direct your loving kindness out into the world and say: May all beings everywhere find happiness and peace. And repeat as often as you want to feel good vibes! See more
07.01.2022 Sharing my recent interview on How to Practice Self-Compassion. In this interview I speak on the topic of self-compassion with my friend and colleague Jackson from Find Reason Therapy. In this podcast interview, we discuss Self-Compassion as a resource as well as a few other topics!... You can listen to the interview by clicking this link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4FQECkTXkiwU5fHlJ0fqys OR watch here: https://findreasontherapy.com.au/reason-with-me-podcast-ep/ We hope you enjoy it!
06.01.2022 If you are out and about at Chemist Warehouse pick up a free copy of the House of wellness magazine winter edition and read the story by Samantha Alleman on emotional labour. This article features some of my thoughts on the topic! When we hold boundaries around how much we are able to do, we are taking good care of our emtoional wellbeing. ~ Me!
04.01.2022 Disorganized attachment Disorganized Attachment is often where we see a correlation with complex trauma. If you have grown up in a family system where your caretaker was frightened of you and or frightening towards you, you may have developed a disorganised attachment. When a child’s need emotional closeness remains unseen or ignored and the parent’s behaviour is erratic and unpredictable, children can become disoriented and disorganized.... When a caretaker is frightened of an infant or child they may display behaviours like: Backing away physically when the child has needs Having a frightened/startled look on their face Not responding to the child, flat, numb or collapsed affect We can think of these care givers as being in flight or freeze mode When a caretake is frightening to an infant or child they may display behaviours like: Looming over the child or being physically intrusive Attacking postures or sudden movements Aggressive teasing and mocking Emotional reactivity (going from 0-100) Threatening abuse -shaking, hitting, pushing We can think of these caregivers as being in fight mode As an adult, someone with a disorganized attachment pattern may experience a fear of relationships as well as challenges in communication and interaction with those they want to develop intimate relationships with. This includes, partners, friends and family members. You can read more on attachment here: https://www.natajsawagner.com//therapy-for-attachment-chal
04.01.2022 A little map of our brain... Our neo-cortex also called the cerebral cortex or the frontal cortex can be divided into left and right sides. The right-hand side is online from birth and is the intuitive, creative and artistic part of our brain that sees the big picture of the world.... The left-hand side works with rational, linear and logical thought. It develops as we grow up and this part of our brain sees the world processes information and is able to be analytical and logical. It is also the seat of language and ability. the neo-cortex newest and last part of our brain to be developed and it is sometimes known as the "thinking brain" as it is responsible for logic, reasoning, self-awareness and abstraction. As we develop we learn how to reason things out, self-soothe and better regulate our emotions. The limbic brain aka mammalian brain is concerned with emotional and relational experiences. It is at the cenre of our brain and connects to the other parts of the brain. This part of our brain is in control of our emotional responses in relationships with other people and in response to events and expresses emotion. In this part of the brain, our thalamus sends signals to our amygdala (the fire alarm center of our brain) which signals us to move into protect and defend mode. Its also alerts us to stimuli associated with reward (good feelings) or fear (bad feelings). Here The hippocampus also remembers important information and stores it in our long term memory. The reptilian is surrounded by the mammalian brain and is also known as the survival brain is responsible for our instinctual and reflective behaviors like our instinctual survival responses (fight, flight, freeze or fawn) when we are exposed to trauma or stress. It is the oldest part of our brain, fully developed at birth and is lightning fast, working faster than our neo-cortex. It supports us in our physical survival. These 3 parts of our brain process information very differently and If we have experienced trauma or attachment challenges all parts of our brains development are influenced and their functioning interrupted. Over time if we have learned habits of survival to protect and defend rather than to connect and befriend we can find ourselves wired for threat, feeling unsafe, and being triggered by our past experiences. Part of healing trauma is understanding how these parts of our brain may be at work in different situations and to become curious about our experiences, as we work to understand our individual processes we can lean in and learn resources that can support our healing. Our brains are amazingly adaptive and thats important to know when it comes to the work of healing.
04.01.2022 Sometimes we need to weigh up the cost of certain behaviours. When we can reflect on the emotional cost of what we might be doing to ourselves we also get to decide if we want to continue to pay the price. Most people start to look to change something in their life when the emotional cost has become too high or they are no longer willing to pay.... Example ~ The cost of taking care of others over myself is that I end up exhausted and burnt out. The cost of not having boundaries means that I leave myself open to hurts - physical, emotional, spiritual etc The cost of being the strong one means that I miss out on allowing others to care for me. The cost of not listening to the wisdom of my body means I move into physical dis-ease... These are just a few examples when it comes to the price we pay around certain ways of being. So when you are deciding if a certain behaviour or way of still serves you, you might consider the question - What does it cost you? Food for thought x See more
03.01.2022 THERAPY IS FOR.... Therapy is for everyone. Its about good emotional health and well being. ... Therapy also helps with Self- awareness, confidence Building relationships with others Understanding ourselves Developing compassion Being adaptable Developing resilience Self reflection Insight & intuition + MORE! So if your wondering, YES, therapy is for everyone x Drop me a emoticon if you agree! Pic via my therapy space.
03.01.2022 On endings & grief... My experience sitting with people navigating endings has taught me that endings are not so much about 'getting over' grief. I've learned that grief is someting we all continue to touch on our lives, and that grief is often the reminder of how deeply we have loved and cared for another.... I've learned that we don't move with our grief until we pay homage to our stories. We pay homage through sharing. In the telling of what was hoped for. In the remembering and reflecting of the moments where those hopes were realised and met and also where they never were. We acknowledge and grieve the what eventuated and what did not. We honour the story of what was as part of writing the story of what will be. We do not seek grief to leave us, rather we lean towards our grief with tenderness, understanding that it leads us to be with not only our sorrows but also to the depth of how much we love.
02.01.2022 #SHADOWWORK Carl Jung proposed that everyone carries a Shadow and that each persons shadow was really a personification of all the things that they refuse to believe or acknowledge about themselves. We can think of the shadow then, is the embodiment of our deepest, darkest and most secret parts of ourselves that we dare not reveal to anyone. The shadow represents the parts of us we hide, disown or cut off from ourselves.... For many of us it feels easier to disown our shadow or parts of ourselves than to do the work of discovering who we really are. Many people do not ever go on the journey to discover themselves. The challenge with living apart from our shadow or ignoring it is that there are consequences in doing so and it takes a lot of energy to suppress or keep hidden parts of who we really are. Try this short and simple experiment Picture someone you know, that you dislike. Picture what they look like, their mannerisms, how they speak and how they behave. Start to make a list of all the qualities, traits and behaviours you really dont like about that person. Dont hold back, allow yourself to get really specific on all these things as you make your list. Perhaps it is that they are often late, selfish, rude, or unkind. Maybe you dislike that they hold grudges or that they are loud, perhaps you do not like that they are always so energetic. Now make sure you have everything on your list... What you have just identified is your own shadow. Eeek! Yes, these are the qualities or behaviours that also belong to YOU, these are YOUR shadow.... Wait a minute, how is that possible you ask? Surely you dont think Im anything like those people! The truth is, we are mostly unaware of our shadow as it resides in our unconscious. So its normal to feel discomfort or an inability to accept or acknowledge that you too may be capable of the qualities, behaviours or traits you dislike in others. Sit with your list a moment longer.... read the rest over at: https://www.natajsawagner.com/brisbane-counsell/shadow-work
02.01.2022 A word on complex trauma... When a person has experienced complex trauma ( trauma that is cumulative and repetitive and that has happed in intimate/family relationships) particularly if it occurs in childhood, there are developmental challenges that occur which do not apply to ‘single-incident’ trauma. People who experience complex trauma often need to learn how to self-regulate as they have not previously acquired this capacity early in life through nurturing and consistent... caregivers. Compromised attachment patterns from early childhood may mean a person isn't able to accurately sense safety around other people in adulthood. There is a journey to discovering safety in relationships and within themselves. Complex trauma can mean the following beliefs or thoughts come up: I'm uncomfortable with compliments I don't feel worthy or loveable I worry and overthink a lot I protect my feelings I need reassurance I don't trust anyone These beliefs and thoughts are a part of some of the normal reactions to a person who experiences abnormal and traumatic events. When harm has occurred in relationships, healing is also possible in relationships. A therapist who understands and works with complex trauma can support you in working through the impacts that trauma leaves. To find out more about complex trauma you can read my blog post "What is Complex Trauma?" here: https://www.natajsawagner.com/brisba/what-is-complex-trauma
02.01.2022 The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are ~Carl Jung Therapy is a searching for who we are, it is a journey back to wholeness, a reclaiming of the parts of ourselves that are missing, that may have been cut off, disowned or forgotten. Sometimes people come looking reconnect with their body. They may already be connected with their mind and thoughts and are ready to to reconnect more deeply to the wisdom of their body, to listen to their emotions as they... arise in their body and to trust and love their body. Sometimes people come ready to reconnect with the mind, they may have a had a focus not he body but they want to understand and get clarity of their thoughts, they want perspective and to be able to dialogue with what they feel. Sometimes people come ready to connect with the spirit, to find a deeper connection outside of themselves. This is usually when people have done some work on both the mind and body, but not always. Always though, there is a interconnectedness and becoming whole does not happen without each of these parts of ourselves. Becoming who you truly are is a process of mind, body and spirit. Its coming home. First Comment
01.01.2022 Sometimes we need to weigh up the 'cost' of certain behaviours. When we can reflect on the emotional cost of what we might be doing to ourselves we also get to decide if we want to continue to pay the price. Most people start to look to change something in their life when the emotional cost has become too high or they are no longer willing to pay.... Example ~ The cost of taking care of others over myself is that I end up exhausted and burnt out. The cost of not having boundaries means that I leave myself open to hurts - physical, emotional, spiritual etc The cost of being the 'strong' one means that I miss out on allowing others to care for me. The cost of not listening to the wisdom of my body means I move into physical dis-ease... These are just a few examples when it comes to the price we pay around certain ways of being. So when you are deciding if a certain behaviour or way of still serves you, you might consider the question - What does it cost you? Food for thought x See more
