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Never A Dull Moment

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22.01.2022 Yesterday I lost my car. It's not unusual for me to lose things, cars included, especially when I park in places that have lots of car parks that all look the same, like airports or in my case yesterday a hospital, and I forget to pay attention to landmarks to remind me where I parked. Sometimes I do. I really try hard to concentrate on where I've parked 'ok Freya remember that big grey wall over there, and that sign there what does that say? Oh Carpark 3, that's helpful, rem...ember Carpark 3, Carpark 3, Carpark 3. Should write that down I'll probably forget, oh look a squirrel...!' I found my car eventually, after about an hour of timewasting looking for it. I comfort myself in these awful moments by telling myself 'It's definitely somewhere.' Like at the airports. The enormous airports. Ah don't even get me started. And then when I finally find my car and start to settle down from that trauma, it all starts up again when I realise I have completely forgotten to take note of where I put the parking ticket. The joys of shiny brains.

22.01.2022 How parents of teenagers roll

21.01.2022 Jasper- 'don't you think being a tree would be so relaxing?'

20.01.2022 What was the most common feedback on your school report? Mine - 'Freya talks too much'... 'Freya is easily distracted' 'Freya distracts everyone around her' 'Freya is always interrupting the teacher' 'Freya doesn't listen' 'Freya is often away with the fairies' I was excitable. I remember watching the teacher's mouth moving and marvelling at the kids around me who seemed to know what the hell she was talking about. I tried to listen, but something about that monotone voice just lost me along the way as I stared out the window at the clouds in the sky imagining wings sprouting out of me and turning into a little fairy, flitting out of there after sprinkling magic fairy dust on everyone too and turning them into fairies so they could join me, except for the teacher, she was mean, she could stay in her boring classroom with boring desks and boring white walls and that boring blackboard. That blackboard, wait what does that say? There's a question on there that I knew the answer to, snapping me out of my daydream, I'd jump up excitedly and shout out the answer. The whole class would go quiet. Everyone stared at me tutting. 'It's not your turn to answer the question Freya! Freya leave Bec's hair alone!!! Right you can come to the front of the class and sit at the desk near me on your own!' (Again!!) With no one around me to distract or get distracted by, by distracting, I would spend the rest of the class doodling on my note books - kaleidoscopes of colour, patterns, fairies, flowers, animals, princesses, monsters. Anything but listening to that teacher drone on! Because even though she was closer to me and I could see her mouth moving, I still had no clue what she was saying!

19.01.2022 If you're a new friend and I see your leg jiggling, and you chat incessantly, go off track and get easily distracted I know pretty quickly you're part of our shiny tribe and I can't help but get a little excited haha

14.01.2022 If you have a challenging kid/teenager, my best advice to to you is hang in there and don't give up!! I did, I gave up and threw in the towel. I was sick of the arguments, the defiance, the know it all attitude, the not listening and the disrespect. I said to him in one of our darkest moments last year, 'OK if you want to live like an adult you can move out and go be free, be an adult. I'll be changing all the locks on my house too so you can't come back in!' It didn't happe...Continue reading

13.01.2022 Jasper's working as a kitchen hand up the road from my shop and when he's on a lunch break he calls in to see me for a chat, a cuppa and yesterday a little whinge and sympathy. 'Mum I'm so tired, my foot bloody hurts, I can't go back today!' I knew this was coming. He was on a 10 hour shift with an hour break, he'd hurt his foot skating, and he's never worked so hard in his life.... I took him by the hand and said 'Jas listen to what I've got to say this is very important that you pay attention and hear me out. I have not been strict enough on you, you've had a very easy life. Dad is away alot. This job is teaching you to be a man. Something your Dad and I can no longer do. It's important now for you to go back to work today, finish your shift and suck this discomfort up. You've always wanted to be a man since you were little, now is finally your chance. There's going to be times in your job when you're bored out of your brain by the monotony of dishes and the hours are long and they will drag on, it's those times you must remember these words. This job is giving you much more than just a paycheck at the end of the week, it's giving you strength, endurance, mind over matter. It's teaching you to cope in the real world. When it gets hard, just remember these words and push on through.' Jasper gave me a hug and went back to work. When he got home last night he came up to my room for a chat, I asked him how he went and he said my talk really helped him get through the rest of his shift. I breathed a sigh of relief and told him I was very proud of him. My boy told me he doesn't get accolades at work by anyone, I said 'welcome to the real world honey, it's brutal but its making a man of you, the fact they keep giving you shifts is a massive pat on the back. Just keep doing what your doing and you'll be just fine!' And I could tell by his smile, that was the smile of a satisfied young man who'd just done a hard day's work!

13.01.2022 I'm sadly going to have to bite the bullet and delete the scrabble app off my phone. I'm addicted, it's affecting my life, I'm not getting enough sleep, I stayed up till 4am on it playing about 12 games at once. Its affecting my health. Go Scrabble Go. Gone.

11.01.2022 Jasper - 'Mum! Why can't you be more organised?!'

11.01.2022 Last year in his Eshay phase I said to him 'mate you've got way too much hippy in your blood, this phase simply won't last!' Sure enough a few months later he was listening to Fleetwood Mac, burning incense and talking about transcendental meditation

08.01.2022 Brothers. The big one has over shadowed the little one his whole life, the little one broke away last year from the shadow and found his tribe while the big one struggled to find himself. There was a year off while the big one slept alot, grew alot, and struggled at school. The little one went to Dad's more, got right into skating, got busy with tutors, started to take school more seriously, learnt from his big brother's misfortunes. The big one missed the little one, the li...ttle one still reacted to the big one the way you do when you're in a habit of having to defend yourself. They grew apart. The big one realised he needed to make amends with the little one, this year, while he came good in all areas of his life. He apologised to the little one for all the times he's picked on him and hurt him, a good thing to do now so resentments don't harbour later in adulthood. The little one accepted his apology with a hug. The little one has grown up with the gift of patience, tolerance and understanding. The big one picked up his skateboard and started skating again. The little one is happy about this. Big brother and little brother skate together again, banter with each other, get on much better than they ever did before now that they are both a little older. These two are my world

04.01.2022 'Why would you want to stare at a computer when you can look at a magnificent set of DJ decks?' Were the words straight out of my boy's happy mouth tonight as he unpacked the one and only thing he's wanted for at least a year, that he finally saved up with his hard earned money washing mountains of dishes, prepping salads and plating up deserts in up to 10 hour shifts over the last month at a local bar restaurant!!! (And still going to school). Jasper got his very first paych...Continue reading

02.01.2022 I have my phone in my hand, I unlock my car door, get in car, put keys in ignition, throw jacket and bag down on seat, go to start my car but need to look at my phone for Google Maps. Can't find phone. Why? I just had it like 3 seconds ago. Go through bag, jacket pockets, look under car seat, step out of car, look on the ground, start to get upset. Spy phone on centre console. Relief. 'Well no wonder I didn't see it, the centre console is black and so is my phone.' What happe...ns to my brain in that moment that I put my phone down and have no clue where it is seconds later? Here's something I've made peace with over the years. I call it a busy mind. I'm thinking about 10 other things as I'm doing that one action. Those who spend time with me can get frustrated by this, but because I have made peace with this part of myself I tend not to let them affect me. Other ADHD'ers would suffer this on a daily basis. My advice is simple. Surround yourself with people who love you warts and all. If you find other shinies, hold onto them, they're the most understanding. I'm lucky I am surrounded by ADHD friends and family. We are all one big happy shiny, distracted, hyper, funny, disorganised, creative, wacky tribe and I love us all That's my dear friend Barbara wearing an aquamarine crysyal tiara - she is ofcourse one of us