Nimble Neurons in Timboon, Victoria | Tutor/teacher

Nimble Neurons

Locality: Timboon, Victoria

Phone: +61 434 318 160

Address: 9 Main street 3268 Timboon, VIC, Australia

Website: http://nimbleneurons.com.au

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22.01.2022 A bit of humor to lighten your day . Also, if this is you....give us a call! All our tutes are now online. ******* This is Mum.... Mum is helping Kipper to learn to read. This is Kipper. Kipper has no intention whatsoever of learning to read. Mum sits down on the sofa and tells Kipper to come and sit next to her with his book. Kipper leaps onto Mum's lap, elbows her roughly in the groin and knocks half a cup of cold tea over her. Mum wipes cold tea out of her cleavages and asks Kipper to open the book. Kipper tells Mum that he is "thirsty, so thirsty that I think I might DIE". Mum gets Kipper a drink. Mum asks Kipper to open the book. Kipper tells Mum that he is going to wet himself "if I don't go to the toilet right NOW". Kipper goes to the toilet. Kipper comes back. Mum asks Kipper if he washed his hands. Kipper goes back to the toilet. Mum asks Kipper if he washed his hands with soap. Kipper goes back to the toilet. Mum and Kipper sit down to read the book. Mum reads the title of the book. Kipper loses his shit because he didn't get to read the title of the book. Mum tells Kipper to calm the f#%# down and asks him to read the first word on the page. Kipper stares at the page for roughly half an eternity. Mum checks that Kipper has not gone into some kind of hypnotic trance and suggests he tries reading the first letter instead. "D," says Kipper. Mum wildly applauds and tells Kipper to read the next letters. "D...A...D," said Kipper. Mum inwardly rejoices at the child prodigy she is clearly raising. "And what does that say?" asks Mum. "D...A...D...spells.................... PINEAPPLE!" shouts Kipper. "Fuck my life," says Mum. There are two sentences and six words on the first page of Kipper's book. It takes forty-two minutes to get to the end of the first page. Kipper is yet to sound out a single word with even the vaguest modicum of accuracy. Mum's soul was leached from her body and systematically shredded into tiny confetti-sized pieces approximately forty-one minutes and fifty-five seconds ago. Dad comes home and sees Mum and Kipper on the sofa. "Reading together!" exclaims Dad. "What fun! Aren't you lucky, having time to do that!" Mum explains to Dad where she plans on inserting Kipper's reading book the next time he makes a fucking moronic statement like that. Mum leaves Dad and Kipper with the reading book and goes into the kitchen. "G...I...N," sounds out Mum. *********************************** www.instagram.com/iknowineedtostoptalkingblog www.twitter.com/IKINTST www.iknowineedtostoptalking.com

18.01.2022 We are pleased to announce; Nimble Neurons are returning to face to face tutorials. And Leon can't wait!

16.01.2022 Welcome to the Nimble Family, Arthur! Awww he’s so cute...

15.01.2022 Nimble Neurons will remain available for tutorials (including over the holidays). We have online options and will be practising social distancing and sanitising. Please give us a call if you have any queries.

13.01.2022 Laugh for the day

12.01.2022 Did we hear right?

05.01.2022 It’s a strange world at the moment, but our online classrooms are working well

05.01.2022 Arthur completed his first official workday at Nimble Neurons. He was very proud to be wearing his bandana and welcomed everyone with a very fine wag of his tail.

03.01.2022 Laugh for the day Thanks Betoota!

01.01.2022 We are now pleased to be able to offer online/remote tutoring!