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Plentiful Life Counselling

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25.01.2022 I feel miserable, is this loss? If you see someone who has just lost a loved one you may say I am sorry for your loss. But what do you mean? Loss is a word that has so many meanings. Loss applies to more than the death of a loved one....Continue reading

24.01.2022 To all my grieving friends and family. I send you warm hugs and lots of love tonight. Telling someone in grief that they need to move on is very hurtful and no...t at all helpful. The truth is we are constantly moving forward we have no power to stop time. When this is said the message we send to our grieving friend is move on and leave your loved one in the past. Only think of them in a positive way. Stop crying they dont want you to be sad. You need to stay busy get a hobby. The list of suggestions is very long. While your statement was meant to help or love , it doesnt and hurts immensely. I myself have said these same things. No one is in trouble here. In most cases we were taught these things as we grew. One generation to the next. After much loss and being with many who grieve over the years one thing occured to me. Why am I saying these comments? Where did I get them from? Are they even true for me? Telling someone who is broken into a million pieces they need to move on or get over their loved one needs to stop. We will never leave our loved one its impossible they are a part of me. I take them with me. I cant keep busy enough do enough the pain is in the inside of me. Not on the outside. I can visit my memories the many beautiful memories of my loved one and myself. Im not doing anything wrong when I talk about or still miss them like the day they passed. If you have said any of these clich so have I .... I really didnt know I was repeating what I heard. Then tragically I experienced a deavasting loss. I was then thrown into grief myself. I wish this on nobody.... Thinking of so many tonight. Our world is full of grief in some form or anther daily... If you are hurting tonight please know there are other grievers who understand. You dont need fixed. You just need to be loved. Listening to someone in grief is the perfect gift to someone in pain. We have no need to be fixed or given directions. We just need to be... Just be a mess a beautiful mess Love and warm hugs from your beautiful mess, Angie Cartwright #grief #angiecartwright #hope #nationalgriefawarenessday #love #education #awareness

23.01.2022 Have you ever just wanted to have a real, genuine talk with someone about why they did what they did to you?

21.01.2022 "When you have nothing, nobody likes you. Nobody wants to talk to you. It's like you're not there. You don't even have a life. It's like you don't exist. It's l...ike you're not even alive. But when people support you, you start having things, you start to be alive, and you can start to support other people." - "John" See more

21.01.2022 New ways of looking at my grief We all know that losing someone you love is devastating. Grief is often seen as being about coming to terms with that specific loss. But there is much more to grief than just losing the physical presence of someone you love. There is the relationship that is gone. The companionship, the sharing, the mutual experiences and memories, the physical presence of that person. You no longer hear their voice, their laughter, the sound of them breathing...Continue reading

19.01.2022 The impact of trauma and what happens when it is not treated by a trained trauma professional. This story, as with all my blogs, observes the privacy of the individuals written about. Names are changed, stories are altered, and anything that might identify the individuals is changed. Veronica, who prefers to be called Ronnie, is a woman around the age of 40. Her life has not turned out as she had hoped. When she was 15 her sisters husband sexually abused her on a number of o...Continue reading

18.01.2022 Demeter's Journey Demeter lost someone she loved dearly. At first it was so unreal that she didnt notice where she was. She loved this person, and now they were dead. How could this be?...Continue reading

17.01.2022 ANNOUNCEMENT Queensland Police Service can now be contacted online or via SMS if you have been experiencing domestic or family violence. Please read the followi...ng information carefully: 1. If you can safely call, do not use the online/SMS options 2. If the offence is happening now or if you or someone else is in danger, call 000 3. If you have information about domestic and family violence and if the offence is not happening now and the person is safe, call Policelink on 131 444 4. If the safest way for you to contact QPS is online or SMS, use the online option here: https://www.police.qld.gov.au/domestic-violence or register for SMS messaging here: https://www.police.qld.gov.au//message-service-for-deaf-he 5. Make sure you provide clear details about what is happening, report if there are weapons involved and any other information that will assist with your safety and the officers safety 6. Download the Emergency + (Plus) App https://emergencyapp.triplezero.gov.au/ and the QPS Policelink App https://www.police.qld.gov.au/units/policelink-131-444 on your phone if safe to do so 7. NEW INFO: By pressing 55 when calling Triple Zero, a person can request emergency help to their address without saying a word. Please read this article for further info because there are several considerations to be made around using this option but for some, it could be lifesaving: https://10daily.com.au//press-55-when-calling-triple-zero- If you need support for domestic or family violence, call BDVS on 3217 2544. If you are in an emergency, call 000. Image description: 2019 Candle Lighting Vigil Credit: QSuper Fund

16.01.2022 Be the person who breaks the cycle

15.01.2022 Should I view the body of my loved one? This is a question I get asked a lot. There are differing opinions about this. Some say you should never view the person because you should remember them as they were....Continue reading

14.01.2022 Wonderful reminder to give yourself permission to not be okay all the time and spend time nurturing yourself.

13.01.2022 What is the right way to grieve? I was reminded recently of this problem when I had a number of clients come to see me who were all experiencing difficulties with people telling them they werent grieving the right way. I find it unbelievable that anyone could say that. I also think it is a terribly unsupportive and cruel thing to say to someone who is grieving. We are all individuals and we all react to life situations differently. Just because we react differently does n...Continue reading

13.01.2022 Excellent example of focusing on the right thing: During World War II, the Allies mapped bullet holes in planes that were hit by Nazi fire. They sought to str...engthen the planes, reinforce areas heavily damaged by enemy artillery to be able to withstand these battles even more. The immediate decision was to rebuild and reinforce areas of the plane that had more red dots (or received more bullets). Theoretically, it was a logical deduction. After all, these were the most affected areas. But Abraham Wald, a mathematician, came to a different conclusion: the red dots represented only the damage to the planes that were able to return, that came home. The areas that really should reinforce, were the places where there were no points because these are the places where the plane would not survive being hit. This phenomenon is called survival deviation. It happens when you look at the things that have survived when you should focus on the things you dont. What are you looking at in this crisis? Where are you taking bullets or where should we act? Unknown author

13.01.2022 via @sumbu.official

12.01.2022 Learning to live with your scars There is a belief that grief ends. That we go through some process of grieving and emerge at the end with our grief ended. My question to those of you who are grieving is: Do you want to come to a day when the person you love does not matter any more? I dont know anyone who answers yes to that question.... The reality is, if we loved someone we will always miss them. There will always be pain at their loss. They will always be part of our life. They will always matter. For that reason the pain will always be there. But I also know people who want the pain to end. I can tell people that the acute pain will some day be transformed into something more manageable. There will still be pain, especially on special days and times that remind us of the person we loved so much. But the acute pain will subside. As for the other aspects of grief: Life will never be the same. There will be a new normal that includes the loss of the person you loved. You will live your life with the memory of what you have lost, with the memory of the person you loved and the grief at them leaving. They will always be part of you and anything you do will be experienced through the lens of that persons loss. I have heard people describe the sadness of their loss, their yearning for a day with the person they loved so much and the pain of that loss. I have also heard people talk about their love for the person they lost. I have heard them speak with gratitude of the relationship they had with that person. And I have heard them talk about the happy memories they have of time with that person. People love to reminisce about the good times. Those reminiscences are important. It is important for families to share these memories too, especially when there are children in the family. Family stories are important for children to learn about themselves and to connect to past generations. Those stories help children feel connected with life and are an important template of connection with society. Remember the scars on your body that are always there. Grief is like a scar. It is always there. But like a physical scar, it fades over time and you learn to live with it. See more

12.01.2022 positivity is good, but within reason. Misused it can become toxic.

11.01.2022 What is dissociation? Dissociation is when your mind disconnects from the present moment. It is actually a break in how your mind handles information. Everyone dissociates at differing levels. Everyone can report times when they daydreamed or their mind wandered. These are the penny for your thoughts moments when other people notice you arent focused on what is happening around you. You may be aware of feeling disconnected from your thoughts, feelings memories and surround...Continue reading

10.01.2022 Each person has their own way of grieving. The first time I encountered the death of a person was when I was 12 and my grandmother suffered a cardiac arrest while my brother and I were visiting. I had just been taught how to perform CPR and no one else knew what to do, so I stepped in and performed CPR on her. The only problem was that when I was taught CPR someone decided children should not be told that the person they work on may die. Instead we were told that all you had ...Continue reading

08.01.2022 Demeters Journey Demeter lost someone she loved dearly. At first it was so unreal that she didnt notice where she was. She loved this person, and now they were dead. How could this be?...Continue reading

07.01.2022 Never forget someones assumptions about you and facts about you are not one in the same. Sometimes people get so jaded that it brings them some kind of weird s...atisfaction to point out what they assume to be flaws in you from afar. They let stirred up feelings inside of them be mistaken for permission to attack and judge and reduce you down to their worst thoughts about you. If they havent sat with you when the whites of your eyes turn red and leak tears, they dont know you. If they cant readily share something they love about you, they dont know you. If they havent ever admitted their own flaws and insecurities and uncertainties to you, they dont know you. And if they dont know you, they cant possibly correctly discern your true intentions. So, they cant possibly speak as if their assumptions are facts. Chances are, they are hurting or hunting for trouble. Or they are genuinely concerned but didnt let the Lord help them filter their words to you. Dont attack back. Dont betray who you are in a moment of feeling offended. Remember, just because someone lays something down doesnt mean you have to pick it up. Instead, lets decide the cycles of hurt going round and round the world today will stop with us. Lets determine today that we will not scrutinize and brutalize others with our unknowing and incomplete understanding. We will not be critics full of assumptions eager to point fingers. No, we will be be women more willing to uncross our arms and just get to know one another. And we will bring lots more love into our knowing from the very first hello.

06.01.2022 "When you have nothing, nobody likes you. Nobody wants to talk to you. Its like youre not there. You dont even have a life. Its like you dont exist. Its l...ike youre not even alive. But when people support you, you start having things, you start to be alive, and you can start to support other people." - "John" See more

01.01.2022 Do not use your pain body for identity. Use it for enlightenment instead. For the past few hundred years the mind and the body have been considered separate. The idea that our emotions can be expressed with physical pain has been dismissed. But in more recent years, this has been challenged. Research has shown that emotional pain lights up the same pathways in the brain as physical pain. It has also shown that the pain experienced with emotional pain is as severe as that expe...Continue reading

01.01.2022 Feeling unsafe in your own home Rachel came to see me because she had an incident where someone had parked on her front lawn and she felt threatened. Actually she felt terrified. She had to do something to protect herself because this car was a threat. She didnt know why, just that it was a threat to her safety and no one was going to defend her or protect her. She rang council who told her she had to talk to the police. She was terrified to make a complaint but felt she had...Continue reading

01.01.2022 The Wrong Formula Most people have a formula for grief that they believe all people should go through. It is based on their own grief experiences and those taught to them by society in general. The trouble is that when you dont fall into that formula it can be even more isolating than the normal grief experience. One thing I have noticed in my work is that so many people experience the death of a close family member and never know what that person thought of them. Their g...Continue reading