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24.01.2022 It is amazing how quickly we became familiar with wearing masks in truth we each wear a variety of masks throughout our lives. Sometimes they offer us protection, other times they come at enormous cost. We might move through life feeling disconnected from ourselves because we are pretending to be something we are not, and it doesn’t feel authentic. The pressure to act certain ways, look certain ways, or hold certain beliefs can weigh heavily and striving to maintain an ou...tward appearance of strength and happiness, or trying to fit in, can add to our load. Have you fallen into wearing a particular mask out of habit? Are you striving to please others by keeping a particular mask in place? Perhaps you have outgrown a mask you have been wearing for some time but are fearful of revealing yourself. What would it mean to remove it? It is not always easy to reveal ourselves. It takes courage and sometimes we fear it might mean change, loss, and everything we have been afraid to let go of. Therapy often reveals the person behind the mask, providing time and space to explore who you really are, finding which actions feel authentic, and what it means to be comfortable in your own skin. When we are in tune with our internal states and outwardly display authenticity, we foster essential psychological resources that help us manage emotional and environmental challenges. #knowyourmind #integrativetherapy #mindbody #breathwork #walkingtherapy #telehealth #mentalhealth #nervoussystemresilience #emotionalintelligence #bringingpsychologytolife #melbournepsychologist #values #halloweenmask

22.01.2022 Let go of comparison and judgement for the sake of understanding and connection. Some years ago I listened to @elizlesser TedTalk and her concern that we demonise others in our culture by giving voice to the most divisive among us. She identified this otherising as the kind of talk that can wound and fester into paranoia and then be used by those on the fringes to incite. It is the type of voice that encourages polarizing and side-taking and to overcome it we need to o...pen up rather than close down. In recent weeks I’ve been witness to some pretty divisive and polarizing interactions (and the impact these can have on participants and those caught in their wake). We are all guilty of becoming stuck in our way, tightly bound to our beliefs, and blinded by the lens of our own perception. It can lead us to accentuate separateness and difference rather than connectedness and inclusion. So how can we ensure our interactions with others close the gap rather than exacerbate divisions? In her TedTalk, @elizlesser challenged each of us to share lunch with someone who’s views oppose our own. Rather than judge we could join in conversation. Actually take time to share in discussion together so we might better understand each other. I wonder who you would invite and what questions might help you better understand and facilitate connection? When we better understand one another, we are more inclined to see the qualities we share. Where might you find common humanity? * Would you share some of your experiences with me. * What issues deeply concern you. * What have you always wanted to ask/understand of someone from the ‘other side’. * Don’t persuade, defend or interrupt; * Be curious, * Be conversational, * Be real; * and listen Imagine if we each commit to sitting with the discomfort and seeing what emerges. We might just be surprised. #interpersonalrelationships #relationalhealth #adultattachment #togetherapart #relationshipsmatter #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation #emotionalintelligence #bringingpsychologytolife #integrativetherapy #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #resilienttogether #telehealth #walkingtherapy

20.01.2022 Breathing is a precious resource right under our nose. It stimulates our circulatory system delivering oxygen and nutrients to our cells and literally nourishes our entire system. Oxygen is also both a stimulant and a relaxant: it wakes us up and puts us at ease at the same time. How we breathe directly impacts how we feel. Consider how crying, laughter, panic, and relaxation differentially impact the way you breath. Our breathing reflects our state of mind and we can also ...induce joy, anger, and sadness just by breathing in a particular way. When we are unaware of our breath, it is reflecting our state of mind and our state of mind is being influenced by unconscious breathing patterns, possibly leading us unintentionally to negative mind states. It is helpful to regularly tuning into our breathing patterns and experiment with how changes can elicit shifts in our mind-body state. Numerous activities in our day (including checking emails and social media) can prompt us to breath hold, or shallow breath, interrupting out normal breathing rhythm. This can impact our stress and immune responses as it throws off the body’s balance of oxygen, carbon dioxide, and nitric oxide. When we are aware of our breath, we gain the power to collaborate with it and purposefully induce a particular shift in our state of mind. It’s power as another tool in your mental health and wellbeing arsenal should not be underestimated. #breathwork #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation #bringingpsychologytolife #integrativetherapy #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #habitsofhealth #growyourmind #outdoortherapy #telehealth #walkingtherapy

20.01.2022 A host of factors have collided in recent weeks to inform this month’s blog topic Could Striving for Normal Be Making Us Sick?. The sources of inspiration have been as diverse as the humans I work with: * I’ve found myself consistently providing reassurance that abnormal patterns of behaviour can be normal adaptive responses when we are exposed to circumstances a human is not intended, or equipped, to tolerate. * Hearing the phrase there is poverty in uniformity si...ng out to me as I listened to @pippagrange in conversation with Dr Chatterjee * Ecologist Crowther Lab encouraging a global movement to restore nature’s biodiversity (we need the whole ecology of humanity) * Seeing a local hedge receive a seasonal trim!! I’m a big believer in the power of language and therapy sessions consistently remind me how our words leak and reveal clues to the narratives and perceptions we hold in mind. When we talk about ‘normal’ we risk trying to make ourselves conform to one way of being one definition of success, one way that qualifies as enough, one way of nourishing ourselves, one way of being well and it strips us of the richness of our human diversity. Watching the garden hedge being trimmed I was reminded to tread lightly when we set about tidying unruly or wayward growth. Go too hard and our efforts to knock things into shape will curtail new growth in much the same way striving for normal can knock the spirit out of us. Without careful use our labels can lead to disconnect and prompt us to focus on unfavourable comparison and difference rather than what connects and unifies. What labels do you identify with and how do they serve you? Do your labels afford you security and status or do they constrain you? Do the labels you use to describe your body and mind empower or restrict your capacity? Does the concept of normal expand or diminish your world? I look forward to sharing the blog and I’d love to hear a little about your relationship with the labels in your life. #povertyinuniformity #fearless #strengthindiversity #permissiontofeel #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation #bringingpsychologytolife

19.01.2022 Leadership Victoria hosted #TogetherweCLAN last night and invited participants to come along with enthusiasm, curiosity, an open-mind and kindness. These are perfect ingredients for rich conversation and exploration. Groups delved into some of the big challenges (equity, mental health, climate change, family violence, opportunity, gender equality). Participants shared reflections we can all integrate in our response to challenging times: create safe spaces and trust resist th...e urge to react and jump to solving be willing to sit in the discomfort of not knowing allow space for a diversity of views (rather than an echo chamber for the loudest or most comfortable) acknowledge inherent inequity in existing policy and practice get vulnerable and learn in new ways listen more than you talk ask the right questions of the right people check if our existing lens might be restricting our view I don’t know about you but these are qualities I value and respect in leaders. The things we consider the little things (or softer skills) are often the essential ingredients for the big things we want to grow. It seems @paulkelly was onto something! #togetherweclan #leadership #resilience #mindset #vulnerability #courageous #emotionregulation #selfregulation #emotionalintelligence #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #growyourmind #regeneration

18.01.2022 These past few months have presented so many changes, challenges and transitions for us to navigate. In my work I am encountering so many people who are being forced to get comfortable with the discomfort of changes and personally there have been multiple demanding opportunities to embrace the unfamiliar. Last week this podcast discussion with Christina Canters - The C Method provided an opportunity to practice getting more comfortable with my own discomfort and talking asp...ects of emotional intelligence. When emotional discomfort arises, we tend to react to dispense with the feeling as quickly as possible. Sometimes this means distraction, numbing or avoiding what is important to us. But discomfort is a proxy for progress and building tolerance is a vital skill in emotion regulation. To cultivate resilience, we need to explore what is unfolding in our body, mind and nervous system and from that understanding we grow and develop. With consistent practice we can befriend our strong emotions and the sensations that accompany them and harness their power for good! #permissiontofeel #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation #emotionalintelligence #ruok #bringingpsychologytolife #therapyisforeveryone #integrativetherapy #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #resilienttogether #habitsofhealth #growyourmind #outdoortherapy #telehealth #walkingtherapy

17.01.2022 I love the feel of a new book in my hand and I have been devouring the pages of this one. The skills that comprise emotional intelligence are key to help our individual and collective wellbeing and the RULER approach @yale_emotions) can help us build understanding and mastery of our emotional responses. When we unlock the power of our emotions, we can better navigate stress, become familiar with our emotional responses, and express ourselves in a manner that is healthy for ...us and those around us. * Recognise How are you feeling? Don’t think, just check in with the state of your body and mind and sense it. Start with awareness and recognition of the energy that is running through your body. If we don’t stop to recognise our own emotions, we can’t build the necessary skills for regulating them. * Understand Why this feeling? Why now? What is the underlying reason for this feeling? What possible cause fuels the emotion? * Label What are the best words to describe this energy I have? Without a proper vocabulary we can’t identify the nuance of our emotion. Labelling an emotion is a form of regulation we can literally learn to ‘name and tame’ the feelings and sensations. * Express Can I share this? How will I allow this emotion to show itself in the world? Will I be heard? Will I get the support I need? Am I ready to own my feelings or do I risk being rejected? * Regulate What strategy can I use to soothe, intensify or shift my emotional state? The most complex and challenging aspect is how we experience and express our emotions. In therapy, a great deal of work focuses on developing adaptive tools to enable us to feel and express our emotions and increase nervous system resilience. #permissiontofeel #emotionregulation #emotionalintelligence #bringingpsychologytolife #integrativetherapy #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #nervoussystemresilience #growyourmind #telehealth #walkingtherapy

16.01.2022 Kindness can spread like a pandemic a single act of kindness throws out roots like a tree, spreading out in all directions. Compassion is positively related to parasympathetic nervous system activation and Kristen Neff’s work (Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff, Ph.D.) shows when we are compassionate to ourselves, we are less likely to be depressed, anxious, and stressed, and are more likely to be happy, resilient, and optimistic about our future. In short, we have better men...tal health. The power of self-compassion actually manifests in our bodies. When we soothe our own pain, we tap into the mammalian care-giving system. The care-giving system triggers the release of oxytocin and research indicates that increased levels of oxytocin strongly increase feelings of trust, calm, safety, and connectedness. Self-criticism, in contrast, has a very different effect on our body. The amygdala is the oldest part of the brain and is designed to quickly detect threats in the environment. When we experience a threatening situation, the fight-or-flight response is triggered: the amygdala sends signals that increases blood pressure, adrenaline, and the hormone cortisol, mobilizing the strength and energy needed to confront or avoid a threat. Although this system was designed by evolution to deal with physical attacks, it is activated just as readily by emotional attacks whether from ourselves or others. So loosen your grip on harsh criticism and perfectionism and quieten the voice of the inner critic. We are best equipped to spread kindness to others when we first practice self-compassion. #selfcompassion #perfectionism #worldkindnessday #thekindnesspandemic #integrativetherapy #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #nervoussystemresilience #growyourmind #telehealth #walkingtherapy

16.01.2022 Healthy relationships contribute to healthy minds so it is important we take care of our connections to others. How we relate is more important than ever. We all want to feel validated, valued and connected but turbulent times can exacerbate our opinions and our coping styles. The divisions unfolding in society can also emerge at our dinner table, on our Zoom calls, and in our bedroom. Think about the topics causing most tension in your relationships right now? It might be... issues of personal boundaries and space, managing rejection and frustration, dealing with efforts to connect, responding to self-appointed experts and considering matters of social justice. Ruptures in our relationships are not lethal but the ability to repair is critical. In therapy we practice making skilful repairs including the capacity to apologise, the ability to forgive, the ability to teach others what we need, and the ability to learn what others are trying to convey and take on board feedback without shutting down. We are challenged to repeatedly adjust, adapt and repair and it is heartening to know our efforts to patch things up is emotional gold that can leave us stronger than before. There will be more on healthy relationships for a healthy mind and ways to support (and repair!) your connections with others in the August blog. #adultattachment #togetherapart #relationshipsmatter #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation #emotionalintelligence #bringingpsychologytolife #therapyisforeveryone #integrativetherapy #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #resilienttogether #thebodykeepsthescore #habitsofhealth #growyourmind #outdoortherapy #accessibletherapy

15.01.2022 Connection with the natural world will help us regenerate and deal with the health impacts of current events. The evidence shows connecting with nature positively impacts mental and physical health. Today (National Tree Day) is a perfect day in Melbourne to get outdoors and look up to the trees #NationalTreeDay #HugaTreeforNTD #ConnectwithNature

15.01.2022 Spotted this on a friends feed and had to share it here because (a) Maggie Dent offers such practical and accessible resources and (b) it resonates with so many adults I’m working with too!!! The need for movement and the release of all that emotional energy coursing through our body is more important than ever for our mental health and wellbeing right now. My session on the mini trampoline from U-bounce Fitness has been my saving grace some days!

10.01.2022 A chance encounter in the dog park reminded me of the importance of continuing to engage with others despite our concealment behind the masks. Passing a fellow walker, I noticed a huge smile plastered on the outside of her mask and I couldn’t help but smile inside my own mask in response. We are equipped with a sophisticate social engagement system and we rely on it to navigate interactions with others and regulate our stress response every day. A smile can ease social tensi...on and put us at ease. Our social engagement system detects signals from others in their body language, vocal tone and prosody, and facial expressions. If the social engagement system likes what it sees, hears and senses then it calms us without us even being aware. In your body, stress hormones are released in response to micro-doses of stress, but the signals picked up from others can mean that despite the hormones we feel calm (thanks to what is known as the vagal brake). This system can override stress hormones and increase the level of oxytocin which is known for promoting feelings of social bonding and well-being. It is reassuring to know that although smiles are more difficult to see right now studies show observing the area around the eyes is usually enough to recognise someone else’s feelings. We get cues about their feelings not only through facial expressions but also through the way they move and talk. We still mirror the smile of another person even when that individual’s mouth and nose are covered and when we crack a smile chemical messages are released into our nervous system. These messages communicate with our brain to let us know we're 'happy’ and this communication then triggers the brain to produce and release the 'feel-good' hormones: dopamine, endorphins and serotonin. There is sound rationale to #pinagrinonyourchin and engage others as we pass. Rest assured they will know you are #smilingontheinside and both of you will reap the benefits. #humanconnection #socialdistancing #adultattachment #togetherapart #relationshipsmatter #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation #emotionalintelligence #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #outdoortherapy

08.01.2022 It’s funny how we can get stuck doing things the same way even when it is no longer working for us. We can endlessly wait for the right time to make a change, not realising most transformations come in ‘tiny imperceptible steps’. There are lots of ways to ‘do therapy’ and not all therapy is restricted to conversations behind closed doors in a clinic. Therapeutic experiences and processes unfolding in the real world can improve our lives immeasurably. Bringing psychology to ...life through walking therapy and meeting in the natural environment is an opportunity to enhance the impact of our work together by engaging a variety of therapeutic processes: * Absorbing natural light and fresh air * Shifting our perspective - toggling our focus and attention between our internal and external world * Gentle movement to stimulate kinaesthetic processing * Interacting side by side with a focus on the direction we are headed and less load on our social engagement system to allow capacity to deal with what we are carrying Thanks to a muscle tweak, movement has been a little uncomfortable this week but then change requires a bit of discomfort and agitation. A great deal of therapeutic work is focussed on staying with the discomfort and stepping into the unfamiliar as we work through change, transition and growth. It means continuing to move forward even when it is quite literally a pain in the butt!! #bringingpsychologytolife #outdoortherapy #walkingtherapy #windowoftolerance #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation #telehealth #integrativetherapy #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #growyourmind

06.01.2022 Music has the power to make hearts soar and connect people. At a time when live events are curtailed this provided a wonderful soundtrack to my Sunday.

05.01.2022 The August blog focuses on the health of our relationships and interactions with others. It is perhaps timely given we are currently denied the proximity to others that our nervous system relies on to regulate and soothe. When we know what was laid down in our early years it helps us better understand feelings and behaviours that otherwise seem inexplicable. It might make sense of our fear of abandonment or intimacy, the root cause of our anxiety about unfamiliar situations, ...or our heightened sensitivity to criticism. Understanding the source of our distress can shine a light into dark places. We can then mitigate or even reverse any biological and psychological consequences of adverse relationship experiences. Link in bio or at.... https://www.positivemoveswellbeing.com.au/blog/ #interpersonalrelationships #relationalhealth #adultattachment #togetherapart #relationshipsmatter #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation #emotionalintelligence #bringingpsychologytolife #therapyisforeveryone #integrativetherapy #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #resilienttogether #thebodykeepsthescore #habitsofhealth #growyourmind #outdoortherapy #telehealth #walkingtherapy

04.01.2022 When we interact each person’s mind-body system is wired to seek an exchange of information. We exchange and respond to frequencies, vibrations and micro-signals as well as the content of what our partner says. The way one person reacts is influenced by the way the other person receives during an interaction and this shapes how each shows up in the relationship they share. Underneath all our words and our conscious intentions, our primary relationship follows the twists and... turns of two highly attuned nervous systems. Your nervous system and your partner’s nervous system are in constant, silent communication. These two parts are setting the mood, raising the stakes, making peace, or waging war. Nervous system arousal is like an invisible hand in your relationship. To effectively help your partner regulate their emotions (co-regulation) it’s necessary to regulate your own emotions at the same time (self-regulation). Otherwise you will be constantly activated by their emotional unrest, and you will end up in a familiar cycle of emotional escalation. It takes work to learn to recognise and improve your co-regulation and self-regulation strategies, but it’s worth it. How effective are you at co-regulation and self-regulation in the relationships you share with others? Which effective and ineffective regulatory behaviours do you see in yourself and in your relationships? What do you need to practice? Are you dancing to the same beat or treading on toes? #interpersonalrelationships #relationalhealth #adultattachment #togetherapart #relationshipsmatter #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation #emotionalintelligence #bringingpsychologytolife #therapyisforeveryone #integrativetherapy #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #resilienttogether #thebodykeepsthescore #habitsofhealth #growyourmind #outdoortherapy #telehealth #walkingtherapy

04.01.2022 Understanding our pattern of early attachment relationships does not determine our future and does not blame, shame, or limit us or the caregivers in our lives. Rather it provides a framework for understanding how we relate to the people closest to us. Our family tree builds our emotional memory the clusters of past experiences which influence our behaviour. Families pass on, consciously or unconsciously, guilt, fears, taboos, and wisdom. We internalise a lot of shoulds... about how independent and dependent we should be in a relationship without realising it. We respond intensely to certain scenarios and form patterns in our relationships often without knowing why. We are who we are because of our relationships whereas we once thought our early experience defined who we are, interpersonal neurobiology now shows our brains are constantly reshaped by new relationships. The brain can change over time based on new relationships and new understanding of our experiences. Creating an awareness of the blueprint we have laid down can empower us to reclaim any needs we disowned and to have agency in selecting and attaching to the right people and to move towards more secure relationships. Nurturing healthy relationships for a healthy mind is a big part of my work and there will be more on this and how to care for connections with others in the August blog coming soon... (how on earth did we find ourselves hurtling headlong into August already!!). #adultattachment #togetherapart #relationshipsmatter #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation #emotionalintelligence #bringingpsychologytolife #therapyisforeveryone #integrativetherapy #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #resilienttogether #thebodykeepsthescore #habitsofhealth #growyourmind #outdoortherapy #accessibletherapy

04.01.2022 When we think of the word "meditation" what usually comes to mind is a person sitting in a quiet and contemplative state. However, meditation is so much more than that! Meditation includes both expressive and passive techniques. Expressive meditations are active and incorporate physical movement (laughter, tears, stretching, shaking, bouncing, breathwork, humming and body movement), while passive meditations observe stillness and focus on the breath and mind. By incorporating... expressive techniques in our day we release mental, physical, and emotional tensions from the body, and we avoid getting weighed down by the build-up of emotional energy. The focus is on releasing outward while more passive meditations draw our energy and attention inwards. Through our expressive practices we shift negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions into more positive states, while passive meditations teach us how to observe or witness them. Both have their place and because we are all different and travelling different paths, we might each find one or other practice more appealing at different times. The healing benefits of expressive practices for our nervous system include: * An increase in ‘feel-good’ neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and the endorphins * Enhanced mood and protection against depression * Creation of new neurons in the hippocampus of the limbic system, a region that regulates motivation, emotion, learning, and memory * Decreased anxiety * Improved sleep and memory * Greater capacity to focus At Positive Moves Wellbeing expressive practices are brought to life incorporating walking and body movement in our therapy sessions where appropriate. And personally, I find jumping on the rebounder (mini-trampoline) to bounce and shift some energy in my sessions with Gaby Robinson at U-bounce Fitness has provided an outlet for some of that energy stagnating after hours in front of the screen these past few months. When you add the energising music (sure to get you humming and singing) and social connections (belly laughs included!), this group offers a powerful prescription for emotional release and nervous system resilience. #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation

03.01.2022 Our memories give us a sense of self and make us who we are. They are more than just files in a filing cabinet and the way they are encoded, stored and retrieved involves our brain cells working together in a network to process information. Memories leave their mark in the brain, in the body, and as an imprint in our nervous system. A memory will only be made if we are paying attention so it is worth considering where you invest your conscious attention. #remembrance #memory #integrativetherapy #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #nervoussystemresilience #growyourmind #telehealth #walkingtherapy

02.01.2022 This story is a reminder that doing things in our own way can be a great strength. For those struggling to fit standards and expectations imposed by others it is so important to know the world needs your perspective. Given a little time and support others might come to recognise the value of your contribution (and if not you will still grow in the knowledge you are walking the right path for you).