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22.01.2022 Dear Mr. Nadeau: As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate. Hope is the thing that is left to us, in a bad time. I shall get up Sunday morning and wind the clock, as a contribution to order and steadfastness. Sailors have an expression about the weather: they say, the weather is a great bluffer. I guess the same is true of our human society things can look dark, then a break shows... in the clouds, and all is changed, sometimes rather suddenly. It is quite obvious that the human race has made a queer mess of life on this planet. But as a people we probably harbor seeds of goodness that have lain for a long time waiting to sprout when the conditions are right. Man’s curiosity, his relentlessness, his inventiveness, his ingenuity have led him into deep trouble. We can only hope that these same traits will enable him to claw his way out. Hang on to your hat. Hang on to your hope. And wind the clock, for tomorrow is another day. Sincerely, E. B. White
11.01.2022 Since the year 2000, life expectancy in the US has fallen, as the economists Anne Case and Angus Deaton have shown and this decrease has been driven almost entirely by an increase in what they call ‘deaths of despair’, such as drug overdoses and suicides. Despair thrives where empathy is missing; right now, our lack of compassion for one another is killing us. #empathy #compassion
08.01.2022 Repair is less about fixing what is broken and more about getting back on track. Dr. John Gottman refers to repair attempts as the secret weapon of emotional...ly intelligent couples. What separates stable couples from others is not that their repair attempts are necessarily more skillful or better thought out, but that their repair attempts get through to their partner. Because repair attempts can be difficult to recognize, it's important to listen for them before a conflict conversation is engulfed in negativity. Are you utilizing repair attempts in your relationship? Take the Gottman Relationship Coach: Dealing with Conflict program to learn how to effectively send and receive repair attempts: http://bit.ly/3iaoR1K
06.01.2022 One person’a experience of aphantasia
05.01.2022 This might be a controversial perspective on how your thoughts create your reality, but hear me out before you jump down my throat.. or.. better yet, if this do...esn't resonate with you, no jumping is necessary.. just keep scrolling. But if it DOES resonate, it might change your life as it has mine... There are things in my life I don’t want to carry with me into this new year, like outdated opinions, beliefs, judgments, and most importantly, labels that no longer serve me. Labels are dangerous because if I describe any aspect of my life using labels like "tragic," "horrible," "traumatic," "horrific, and so on, the adjective with which I label each experience is how I will identify with it in the future. I'm not suggesting putting a "positive" spin on everything or denying what's going on, but when a friend recently wrote to me saying, Timber, I’m an empath. I soak up people’s energy, so I have firm boundaries with negative energy," I thought to myself, "as long as she continues to identify as an empath (with a negative connotation no less), her inner peace and core balance will continue to fluctuate at the whim of others, instead of staying within her own control." Do you see that? At first, she defended her victim mentality by saying, I feel people’s pain, my heart hurts when they hurt, so I stay as far away from them as possible. My positivity actually repels negative people, she said with some pride, and I am perfectly fine with that! Her solution of sorts reminded me of the quote, A ship is safe in the harbor, but that is not what ships are built for. You see, the only thing that makes something true is our choice to believe that it is. She can choose to either spend the rest of her life trying to create a bubble for herself that keeps getting smaller, building a wall around her that keep closing in, or she can learn to stay calm in the middle of chaos, and even remain positive while surrounded by negativity. Water from the ocean can't sink a boat unless the water gets inside, and the negativity of the world can’t bring you down unless you let it. After thinking about it for some time, she said, I need to pivot my perspective, and only then I’d be able to get myself out of the box that I put myself into. I need to start taking responsibility for my own energy and not allow others to affect me. Hallelujah! I thought to myself... She understood it perfectly: if you identify as fragile, then you will spend your entire life protecting yourself because you will see everything and everyone around you as a hammer trying to break you. But if you identify as unbreakable, durable, flexible, accepting, open, fluid, etc., then you can fly around obstacles, not be controlled by them. See what I mean about labels being potentially dangerous? When you think of your own identity, what words are you using that actually work against you instead of for you? What feelings from the past do you keep reaffirming and bringing into the present? Whatever it was.. (and I don't intend to minimize or nullify its severity), you survived it, so there’s no need to continue identifying with it. In this new year, it’s time to create a new narrative for yourself! Use every experience to propel you toward the life you really want instead of sinking deeper into a life you don’t. You create your own experience with your thoughts. Start seeing obstacles as challenges, difficulties as opportunities, and remember: struggle is not a requirement. Liberate yourself.. nobody else is going to do it for you. Here's to an empowered new year!
