Kathleen Mcevoy Psychologist | Personal blog

Kathleen Mcevoy Psychologist

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24.01.2022 "Our ideal should not be to "fall in love" but to "stand in love" - love and happiness are not heedless free-falls that just happen when gravity is on our side"- Fromm

24.01.2022 I was the poster child for codependency. And, even as a psychologist, I had no clue. I was raised in a home where separate emotions didn’t exist they couldn’t.... When my mom felt an emotion, we all shared it. When the home was chaotic, everyone’s anxiety flooded the environment, fueling more chaos. Boundaries didn’t exist. I was in my 30s before I even began understanding + practicing them. I created this to allow you to have more awareness of codependency conditioning. I truly believe it’s an epidemic. When our emotional, physical, + spiritual needs aren’t met as children, we learn that the only way to seek them to be met is through other people as adults. If our needs were only met by betraying ourselves, we will continue this pattern. Please know we can unlearn these patterns. We can begin the work to place boundaries, connect to our own needs/desires. We can begin to trust ourselves. We can spiritually connect to our authentic, higher selves, + restore our intuitive guidance something we rarely do within codependency conditioning because we are so pre-occupied looking outwards #selfhealers @ Los Angeles, California

21.01.2022 LM This. Hits. Hard. The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response.... Your I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself conditioning is a survival tactic. And you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you. From the parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was never home from working three jobs to feed and house you. From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but never offered a safe haven that honored your heart. From the friendships and family who ALWAYS took more than they ever gave. From all the situations when someone told you we’re in this together or I got you then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when shit got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too. From all the lies and all the betrayals. You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point. Extreme-independence IS. A. TRUST. ISSUE. You learnt: if I don’t put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won’t have to be disappointed when they don’t show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will ALWAYS drop the ball EVENTUALLY right? You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt ancestors who came before you. Extreme-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak. So, you don’t trust anyone. And you don’t trust yourself, either, to choose people. To trust is to hope, to trust is to be vulnerable. Never again, you vow. But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth it’s your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall. Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either. Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming. It’s a trauma response. The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed. You are worthy of having support. You are worthy of having true partnership. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of having your heart held. You are worthy to be adored. You are worthy to be cherished. You are worthy to have someone say, You rest. I got this. And actually deliver on that promise. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy to receive. You are worthy. You don’t have to earn it. You don’t have to prove it. You don’t have to bargain for it. You don’t have to beg for it. You are worthy. Worthy. Simply because you exist. -Jamila White, @inspiredjamila

20.01.2022 https://www.instagram.com/p/CFKlpQbjB19/

14.01.2022 The Mastery of Self is a book by don Miguel Ruiz Jr. See link in our BIO for an excerpt from The Mastery of Self OR visit the link below! http://www.hierophantp...ublishing.com/mastery-self-don-miguel #themasteryofself #donmiguelruizjr #donmiguelruiz #toltec #selfmastery #hierophantpublishing

13.01.2022 This guy built an invisibility shield that actually works!

12.01.2022 https://waitbutwhy.com//10-types-odd-friendships-youre-pro

11.01.2022 As a psychologist, my interest in perinatal mental health was born out of my experience of becoming a mother. It was not an easy transition for me. I was 38 whe...n my first was born, 41 with my second. At times I felt my very atomic structure was being stretched to breaking. Some days I thought I would shatter to a million tear-drop shaped pieces. Was I depressed? Some days. But not really. Was I exhausted? You bet! Was my relationship with my husband challenged? For sure! But my love for my babies was never in doubt. I look at this photo and marvel. So serene. My parenting journey was anything but serene, and yet here I am, calm, at peace, and so in love with my wee babe. Life is full of contrasts. Light and dark. Tears and joy. Confidence and fear. Becoming a parent taught me so much about what I am capable of. Patience, compassion, empathy, courage, tenacity, joy. Challenges stretch us. They let us know we’re alive. And above all they teach us. Life is like that. If we don’t step into the challenge, if we turn away from the difficult, what’s it all for? Business is a lot like parenting, in so many ways. It stretches us and teaches us. It pulls us in all the directions, usually at once. The emotions are sharp and real and deep. The pride is equally so. My passion for business coaching came out of my own 20-year journey as a business owner, coupled with being the third generation of female business owners in my family. Like my children, my business has benefited greatly from the teachings of my grandmother and all the life lessons I've picked up along the way. Our businesses, like our children, are our legacy. They are the shining evidence that we were here. So be proud of who you are and what you've achieved. Be proud of the way you rise to the challenge day after day after day. Be proud of the legacy you'll leave behind. Be proud. You've earned it. Much love, Tess x #businesscoach #psychologist #perinatalmentalhealth #legacy #smallbusiness

09.01.2022 I’m wondering if we can make a distinction between boundary setting and boundary building. It feels important to break it down and acknowledge the factors that ...make boundary setting difficult. Setting a boundary might be more accessible to us if we have the skills, a semblance of safety, and the capacity to do so. Boundary setting, or the act of firmly stating or accessing your needs, might be difficult for you to do if the skills, safety, and capacity are not present. As well, the act of setting a boundary might feel too absolute or too far out of reach for you. In circumstances where that’s the case, I propose we reframe the idea of boundary setting to one of boundary building. Building boundaries turns the action of setting a boundary into an ongoing process. This might allow us to better acknowledge the ways boundaries should involve an active and ongoing process of mutuality. This means that boundary building might be the precursor or prerequisite for boundary setting as it allows us to safely tune into our needs and recognize the absence of skill or capacity to enact a more concrete boundary. Boundary building might look like: Tuning into your body to recognize what it feels like to begin enacting a boundary (such as saying no) Naming the feelings that boundary setting produces Expanding your window of tolerance using trauma-informed movements breathwork or mindfulness practices that help support nervous system integration Working on self-keeping and self-protective strategies, perhaps by working with rage and anger to foster a felt sense of firmness and assertiveness Working to resource your nervous system (perhaps through a neutral anchor such as the breath or self-compassionate thoughts) with the goal of increasing tolerance for discomfort Increasing your access to your innate fight response by overriding your natural tendency to flee (flight response) or shut down (freeze response) in response to stress Cultivating an awareness of the freeze or startle response that keeps you frozen or stuck in patterns of immobility See more

08.01.2022 If you feel yourself becoming anxious, try this technique to help ground you

01.01.2022 Psychotherapist Johan Deckmann Creates Brutally Honest Self-Help ‘Books’ Inspired By His Patients, And The Result Is Hilarious